(no subject)
Title: Correspondence
Fandom: Mirage of Blaze
Pairings: Naoe/Takaya
Genre: Mm. Angst? Circular Idiocy?
Word Count: 17,234
Notes: Right, so, this has LITERALLY been sitting on my computer for a year. I am Not. Kidding. I didn't really like it when it was done; parts of it felt too repetitive. I'd written about 12,000 words in one hit between 3am and midday, and that is always a good reason to be wary. I thought it needed major editing, but due to the size I was too scared of it to try, which is why despite the fact that I wrote it January 05 I'm not posting it until now. I just reread it the other day; I still don't like it as much as my others, but I don't exactly dislike it anymore either. So... yeah. I guess that's all I wanted to say.
Summary: Takaya has had enough of Naoe being a complete bastard, and so he's decided on a very simple and childish solution-- he's not talking to Naoe anymore.
“Nagahide,” Naoe said smoothly. “How nice to see you.”
Chiaki stared and contemplated his urge to slam the door in Naoe’s face. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“That’s hardly a very polite way to greet a comrade,” Naoe reproached him. “I’ve come to ask what you know about Kagetora-sama’s current location.”
Kagetora was asleep in the living room. Chiaki was briefly tempted to just hand him over to Naoe and tell them both to leave him the hell out of their idiot fights, but he was feeling a rare flash of solicitous fellow-feeling and it was novel enough to stay his tongue.
Besides, Kagetora was in no state to deal with Naoe and his insensitivity. If Chiaki was going to continue to be his rival, it was inconvenient to have Kagetora completely broken.
“Sorry, no. Try again next lifetime.” Chiaki moved to close the door and Naoe stuck his foot in the way with a steely expression.
And, of course, it was always fun to antagonise Naoe.
“I have something I want to give to him,” Naoe said through gritted teeth.
Chiaki paused to study him curiously. Now, this was something different. Maybe Naoe and Kagetora were finally going to pull their heads out of their arses and do something productive. If they did, he personally thought it should go into the history books.
“And what would that be?”
“A note.”
Very different indeed. “Maybe I do know something after all,” Chiaki said thoughtfully. “Like how to get a note to Kagetora. Fancy that.”
“How fortuitous,” Naoe said sardonically. “But not, of course, how I might see Takaya-san in person.”
“No, of course not,” Chiaki agreed pleasantly. “I wouldn’t know anything like that. I’m glad we understand each other.”
Naoe touched a hand to his forehead, willing the headache to recede and leave him be. “Indeed.”
“The note?”
Naoe passed it to him wordlessly.
“Thank you,” Chiaki said graciously. “Now if you’d remove yourself from my doorstep?”
“I trust that note will definitely find its way to Takaya-san,” Naoe said suspiciously.
“Yeah, yeah,” Chiaki said dismissively. “Aren’t you gone yet?”
Naoe was not having a good day.
~
Chiaki waved the note at Takaya with an amused smirk. “It’s from your ardent suitor,” he said, voice bordering on laughter.
Takaya blinked at him. “What?”
“Naoe,” Chiaki explained, dropping the slip in Takaya’s lap and sniggering at the teenager’s expression. “Don’t ask me, I never expect him to make any sense. Have fun.”
“Naoe was here?” Takaya said dumbly.
“While you were asleep. He was very insistent that I give that to you.” Chiaki shrugged disinterestedly, sitting down on the armchair opposite Takaya.
Warily, Takaya unfolded the note and read it, sitting still with an utterly bemused expression on his face for several minutes afterwards.
“Well?” Chiaki prompted. “What was so damn important?”
“He’s says he’s not happy,” Takaya said blankly. “And that it’s not over and he doesn’t appreciate my inconsiderate disappearance. The hell?”
Chiaki marvelled once again at how incredibly dense those two could be.
“You really are very slow, aren’t you?” Chiaki said dryly. “I did say it was never over with Naoe.”
“But…” Takaya protested weakly.
“Don’t look at me,” Chiaki said. “I have nothing to do with it. Clean up your own messes.”
He got up and walked into the other room, ignoring the way Takaya was watching after him helplessly.
“Hey, wait…”
There was no response. Takaya studied the note and wondered what precisely he was meant to do now. Eventually he went to get another sheet of paper and a pen.
‘Are you ever happy? What the hell is your problem, anyway? I let you fuck me, I said I’m yours, so why the fuck aren’t you satisfied? So my disappearance is inconvenient. Whoop-di-fucking-doo. You’ll get over it.’
“Oi, Chiaki,” he called loudly. “Could you give something to Naoe for me? It’s important!”
“I’m not your courier service,” an annoyed voice called back. “Do it yourself.”
“I can’t!”
A distinctly unimpressed Chiaki re-emerged. “You owe me.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
~
“Do you expect me to hang around for you to write a response?” Chiaki said irritably.
“If you’d be so kind,” Naoe said absent-mindedly, frowning down at Takaya’s words.
“I don’t see why I should. There’s nothing in it for me.”
“Mm,” Naoe hummed distractedly, tapping his pen against his jaw.
Chiaki snorted in disgust. “You’re not listening to me, are you? What are you two morons going to do when I refuse to carry your messages?”
“That’s nice,” Naoe said vaguely, his full attention on what he was writing. The expression on his face was quite intense, and Chiaki wondered what the hell Takaya had written to piss him off so much.
A pause, and Naoe looked up.
“I’m sorry, did you say something?”
Chiaki sighed. “Never mind. Are you done yet?”
“Quite,” Naoe said charmingly, passing him the note.
Maybe if he refused to curry their argument they’d actually resort to having it in person. Then again, maybe they’d stew and not talk to each other until the next lifetime.
Grumpily, Chiaki reflected that they were suited to each other, whatever the hell Kagetora thought.
~
Playing messenger boy was made almost worth it by the outraged exclamation that echoed through the apartment.
“Who the fuck does he think he is?”
“How should I know?” Chiaki said reasonably. “What’s your problem?”
Takaya stomped around the house, expression stormy and voice loud. “What the fuck kind of shit is that wanker on? Fuck him and his fucking self-righteousness, who needs it!”
This was shaping up to be rather entertaining.
“I repeat: what the hell is your problem?”
“This!” Takaya yelled, thrusting a much-abused note in Chiaki’s face. “I cannot believe him!”
Catching the note, Chiaki smoothed it out to read what it said.
‘I do not appreciate my possessions going inexplicably missing. You should know better than to think that simply giving in to me once means the end of the matter. This is a long-term situation, Takaya-san, and if you belong to me- which you most assuredly do- then you should know better to than to think I would accept your leaving.’
Tact never had been Naoe’s strong suit, Chiaki thought wryly.
“Right,” Takaya snarled. “We’ll see who’s fucking boss. What was I, crazy? Like hell I’ll ever belong to that bastard!”
Well, wasn’t this interesting. Maybe they would get somewhere. Alternatively, maybe they would go right back to where they had started from and Chiaki would be forced to kill someone, or maybe two someones.
At least Takaya’s rage had consumed his dangerous apathy, however.
~
“Fuck you, you bastard,” Naoe read out loud, and decided that perhaps he ought to read it silently after all.
‘I don’t know what the hell I was on but letting you fuck me was a mistake. Am not yours, will never be yours, so rot in hell. If I never see you again I’ll be happy. Screw you.’
This was not the kind of message, Naoe thought, that he really wished to be receiving, least of all from Takaya.
Perhaps that last note had been a mistake? He had admittedly been rather high-handed. Then again, he had been frustrated, and it was quite frankly silly that Takaya was claiming to be letting him win whilst remaining stubbornly out of his reach.
Fine, he thought sourly. War was on once more.
~
Chiaki was rather sick of running errands, so Naoe decided to deliver his message personally.
“Nagahide, I am afraid you are going to have to either let me in or be prepared to fight,” Naoe said calmly.
Chiaki shrugged, moving out of the way with a bored wave of his hand. “What the fuck ever. Do what you like.”
Takaya looked up to ask Chiaki who was at the door. Catching sight of a very unhappy looking Naoe, he momentarily froze like a paralysed rabbit. Small fluffy prey, however, gave way almost instantly to pissed off bristling alley cat.
“What the fuck do you want?” Takaya demanded.
“You are coming with me,” Naoe told him sharply, grabbing his arm and hauling him to his feet. “Whether you like it or not.”
“Like hell I am!” Takaya argued, struggling wildly but futilely against Naoe’s hold. “Get the fuck off me!”
Naoe didn’t answer him, just dragged him bodily across the apartment despite Takaya’s fighting him every step of the way.
“Stop treating me like your toy!” Takaya yelled. For all his resistance, Naoe had been able to get him to the door and yank him down to the car with relatively little difficulty. “I don’t-”
“You do,” Naoe interrupted him viciously, throwing him into the car with a violent jerk. “Whether you like it or not, Kagetora-sama, you do.”
The car door was slammed with a decisive bang and as Naoe got in on the driver’s side and started the engine, all Takaya could do was stare out the window dazedly and wonder what had just happened.
Back in the apartment, Chiaki was laughing.
~
Naoe had shoved Takaya inside their shared apartment and left almost immediately after, locking the door and taking both sets of keys with him. It occurred to a very bitter Takaya that he was essentially under house arrest and there was absolutely jack shit he could do about it.
Left with very few other options, Takaya drifted into the kitchen to make himself a snack and was quite surprised to find a note attached to the fridge door.
‘Takaya-san, you should have thought more carefully before playing this game. However much you protest, you will never escape me. If you were not ready to deal with the consequences of your actions you should never have taken things to the next level. It is in large part a hole you have dug yourself that you are now trapped in.
As you presumably saw this on your way to making a snack, I feel I may as well mention that there is still butter, in the event that you desired toast.’
It took Takaya quite a few minutes of absently chewing on his toast to figure out that this was intended as a reply to his abusive rant.
“Bastard,” he said vacantly, and went to write a response.
The war was on again, and this time, Takaya intended to win.
~
‘You can’t keep me locked up forever, you lunatic, and when I’m out of here there’s nothing you can do to stop me fucking other people, so hah. Take your toast and shove it.’
‘Not this again, Takaya-san. Are you so determined to undertake such stupid behaviour? Threaten all you will, but you will not be allowed out of the apartment any time soon. Furthermore, you are only hurting yourself by not eating.’
‘So? I’m not only hurting myself, I’m hurting you too. Let me out of the damn apartment or I’ll report you to the authorities.’
‘You are being highly absurd. I am sure the authorities would understand once proof was produced that you specifically intended actions harmful to yourself if released. This confinement is for your own good.’
‘No they won’t, they’ll call you a paedophile. And it is not. It’s for your good, you selfish bastard.’
‘Takaya-san, I resent that accusation. I am however very glad to see you have eaten.’
‘Which accusation? They’re both true. I had to eat, anyway, I’m going out tonight and there is nothing you can do to stop me.’
‘I am not a paedophile. And how on Earth did you get out? I hope you didn’t do anything silly.’
‘You are a paedophile, you screwed a seventeen year old. Like I’ll tell you. And what do you count as silly? Getting fucked up against a bathroom wall?’
‘Age is entirely irrelevant, you’re not really seventeen. I count that as very silly, yes. I hope you were joking.’
‘How am I not really seventeen? I remember fuck all. Mentally I’m only a teenager. You’re a paedophile, admit it.’
‘I refuse to have this argument with you via notes. You didn’t answer my question, Takaya-san: were you joking?’
‘Maybe. Maybe not. Wouldn’t you like to know? I’m going out again tonight.’
~
There was a note on the table, something which had grown to be a very common occurrence.
‘No, you most assuredly are not. Please recall what happened last time you did this, Kagetora-sama, and ask yourself if you really wish to push me that far again.’
Stuffing the note in his back pocket, Takaya smirked triumphantly to himself. Yes, Naoe was correct; they were heading very rapidly down the same path they had the last time things had gone to pot.
This time, however, Takaya was doing it fully on purpose.
When Naoe had sent that first offensive note while Takaya had been staying with Chiaki, the teenager had made his decision. He wanted Naoe, didn’t he? But only on his own terms, he’d discovered. So why the hell should he let his actions be dictated by Naoe’s games?
He wasn’t going to let Naoe call the shots any more. Fuck that.
Which was why he was here now, checking his watch and waiting for Naoe to come and “stop” him from going out clubbing again.
Really, he thought impatiently, if he had actually been trying to sneak out Naoe wouldn’t have had a chance. Takaya was disappointed, somehow.
“Takaya-san. Where do you think you’re going?”
Nowhere, as a matter of fact, but Naoe didn’t need to know that. “Out. What’s it to you?”
“No you are not,” Naoe growled. “I expressly forbid it. And it has everything to do with me.”
“Why should I care what you forbid?” Takaya crossed his arms, leaned against the wall. “And like what? Don’t just say it’s because I belong to you. That’s a bullshit reason, it gets old.”
“It is not a 'bullshit reason', as you so charmingly put it. You should consider your own safety more carefully, Takaya-san. You put more than yourself at risk with your reckless behaviour!”
“Oh?” Takaya said mockingly. “Like what? You just don’t like the idea of anyone but you touching your precious Kagetora-sama.”
“Like your comrades. Like our cause. And yes, like myself. How do you think Yuzuru-san would feel if you were to get yourself hurt or killed?”
“Keep Yuzuru out of this,” Takaya snapped. “And quit with the self-righteous crap. When it comes down to it, none of that matters to you, just like I don’t fucking matter to you either.”
“Takaya-san,” Naoe said exasperatedly, “you are being irrational. I have devoted four hundred years to you; how could you believe that you don’t matter to me? That is patently ridiculous.”
“No,” Takaya said, head turning to the side as he scowled. “Kagetora matters to you. You don’t give a fuck about me.”
The expression on Naoe’s face could only be called pained. “Takaya-san,” he said slowly, “you are Kagetora-sama. We’ve been through this.”
Takaya shook his head vehemently, narrowing his eyes. “No, because you just don’t get it! What matters to you is this fucking game you have with Kagetora. You don’t even see him- me- as a person any more, just a means to an end! Well, fuck that.”
Takaya pushed off the wall, stalked the few steps across the corridor to stand in front of Naoe and glower up at him. “You say you want me, Naoe, but you just want to possess Kagetora and screw him over the way he screwed you. I don’t have a place in your games, and I’m not going to play them any more.”
“Takaya-san…”
Takaya cut him off. “Learn to make a distinction, or learn to let the hell go of me. Fine, I want you. I’ll admit it, but I’m not putting up with things the way you want them. I tried it your way, and your way sucked. I’m not going to be your fucking whore for you to mess with, Naoe!”
Before Naoe could respond or even process, Takaya yanked him down by his shoulders for a hard awkward kiss and then pushed him away, stalking out the door and leaving a very confused and sexually frustrated man behind him.
Takaya had changed his mind. He was going out after all.
~
Takaya didn’t really know how he’d ended up here. Okay, he knew how he’d gotten to the club, and he knew how he’d managed to get people to buy him drinks, but he didn’t know quite how he’d managed to end up being bent backwards over a table and kissed by someone he didn’t even know. Maybe it was someone who bought him a drink, he thought fuzzily. Yeah, that sounded right.
Letting someone buy him a drink didn’t mean he wanted to sleep with them, though. As it went he actually had a rather negative view of casual sex, and particularly after the thing with Naoe he didn’t really feel like messing around with anyone, least of all a male someone. He wondered why he didn’t shove them off, and then he wondered why he wasn’t more upset about this.
Oh sod, he thought sluggishly. His drink must have been spiked again, and this time Haruie wasn’t there to look out for him.
His shirt was being undone, which was definitely not on. Through all the layers of cotton wool he could feel himself panicking at the back of his mind, but his limbs remained sprawled loosely over the tabletop and his awareness was deteriorating. His body was refusing to listen to him, and most of his mind was apathetic enough to just go with the flow. There was a little voice screaming something in his mind but it didn’t seem important and it was too hard to focus on, so he let it go.
Then the flow changed, apparently, because the guy who had been lying on top of him was suddenly gone and he was being pulled upwards to his feet. His feet didn’t really want to hold him, though, so he stumbled the extra few steps to fall into the other person’s arms. Good plan, his body assured him. We like that idea.
“Takaya-san? What on Earth are you doing?”
Oh. Naoe. His fucked up knight in shining armour. Somehow this was a hilariously funny, so Takaya giggled drunkenly.
Later, through the hangover, it would occur to him to wonder how Naoe managed to be there at that precise moment. He would realise that Naoe must actually have been following him and stepped in when he didn’t like the way things were going, which, while Takaya was still grateful, was a lot less admirable.
For that moment, though, he was just happy. “Naoe,” he slurred, “did I ever say how much I love you?” He tried to lean up to give Naoe a sloppy kiss on the mouth, but the older man dodged and grabbed his arms, restraining him at a slight distance.
“Is there something wrong with you?”
“Someone,” Takaya said in a blissful garble, “drugged me,” and he tried to kiss Naoe again, but this time he succeeded for all of five seconds before he was pushed away again.
Naoe looked as though he was asking himself what terrible thing he’d done in any of his lives to deserve this. He didn’t have to think about it too long; there were a long list of things, the mess with Kagetora and Minako thirty years ago heading them all. Being able to blame his karma didn’t make him feel much better.
“I should get you home,” Naoe said wearily. “I hope after this you will possibly pay me some heed when I prohibit you from doing such stupid things.”
Half-asleep on Naoe’s shoulder, Takaya didn’t respond.
It was a much longer drive back to the apartment than the distance suggested.
~
Takaya woke up. The ceiling was spinning.
“I hate me,” he told it conversationally, and winced at the spike of pain in his head. Drink, he thought fuzzily. Need drink.
Going down the stairs was far too much effort, and by the time he reached the kitchen, Takaya was wondering sourly if it had been worth it. Sculling the drink, though, made his throat feel a lot better, so maybe it was.
He was down here now, and he didn’t really feel like braving the stairs again, so Takaya cast around for an alternative. Maybe he could sleep on the couch until he felt better?
Then his eyes lit upon the notepad on the bench and his face lit up with a devious smile.
Hey, why not? Maybe he could set the tune for a change.
‘To quote: afraid must beg to differ, as DID go out and am quite sure that pushing was more favourable to self than to you. Thanks for the rescue, although not very much thanks as you were being a stalker and for all you knew was doing it of free will, you total wanker.
PS, am not speaking to you again. May reconsider if you stop being such a prat.’
~
“Takaya-san, you can hardly refuse to speak to me forever.”
No response.
“That was not overly grateful of you, either.”
Silence.
“Furthermore, I was not stalking you. I was simply concerned for your wellbeing, and clearly with good reason.”
There was a soft snort of disbelief from the couch, but other than that Takaya didn’t bother answering.
“For that matter, how precisely am I a prat?”
Perhaps Takaya couldn’t stay silent forever, but he was ridiculously good at in the short term.
Admitting defeat, Naoe wrote everything he had just said down and contemplated how much he longed for a drink of the alcoholic variety right now.
~
Takaya was torn between the urge to laugh hysterically at the fact that Naoe had actually been driven to writing down word for word what he had tried to say earlier and yelling at him for being such a complete and utter jerk.
Eventually, with a nasty smile, he decided to compromise.
‘Will see. Can try and maybe can succeed- ask yourself, are you really sure I can’t?
Gratitude is for the weak. Expect it from me and you’ll be disappointed.
As for claim that you are not a stalker, excuse me while I laugh. Suspect that your definition of stalker is 400 years old. Read a dictionary.
Finally, the fact you needed to ask just proves you are the supreme high prat of prats, you prat.’
Okay, so maybe Naoe had about four centuries worth of experience over him. Maybe Takaya didn’t actually have a clue what he was doing right now. But he was good at pissing Naoe off- that had to count for something, right? Takaya was fairly optimistic that he had at least a shot at winning this thing.
Somewhere at the back of his mind, he wondered when winning had turned from getting his life back to forcing equality into his prospective relationship.
~
Naoe was sorely tempted to throw a dictionary at Takaya’s head. You have more restraint than that, he reminded himself. When you lose your temper you do it in a mature adult way and lash out verbally with nasty cutting insults that everyone regrets later. Throwing things is just childish.
So, for that matter, was conducting an argument via notes. Well, Naoe thought defensively, that was hardly his fault. Takaya started it.
It took about five seconds for it to occur to him that that thought was even more childish still.
‘How does that make me the supreme high prat of prats?’ he wrote eventually, because that was all he could really object to. ‘That is not a reason, Takaya-san. I suggest you revise your concept of logic, because it is severely lacking at the current moment.’
~
‘You being a prat has nothing to do with logic. I say you’re a prat so you’re a prat.’
Naoe stared mystified at the note, wondering what the hell Takaya was trying to prove or achieve. That was no explanation at all.
In the other room, Takaya was apparently doing his homework, which was enough to make Naoe immediately suspicious. Takaya never did his homework. Therefore, he was up to something. Trying to keep an eye on Naoe? Trying to irritate him further, maybe? If the latter were the case, then he was definitely succeeding.
“Takaya-san, you have yet to tell me why I am a prat.”
A soft noise that may have been a snigger or may have been a derisive snort. Probably a derisive snort, given that this was Takaya. Although, it could have been a cross between the two?
“Whatever it is I’ve done to offend you this time, I apologise.”
A pause in movement. Takaya was listening, then. Good.
“I can hardly make amends if I am unaware of what I’ve done wrong.”
Still silence from Takaya’s end. Naoe could see the back of Takaya’s head over the couch; it looked like he was leaning forward. Maybe he was thinking about it.
“You’re being juvenile.”
And that was where Naoe went wrong. Takaya snapped his textbook shut and picked it up, standing and turning to give Naoe a dirty look.
“Have you still got that dictionary? Because if you look up prat, your picture will be beside it.”
He stalked up the stairs without waiting for a reply.
The urge to find a dictionary just for the purpose of throwing it at Takaya was rising.
~
‘You are being unreasonable, Takaya-san.’
That was all the note said, which Takaya found mildly funny. If Naoe hadn’t even bothered to slip in a barb of his own then he must really be losing patience at this point.
Losing patience, however, did not automatically equate to Takaya getting what he wanted. No, that would take planning.
Takaya chewed on his pen while he waited for the microwave to finish cooking, and tried to think of something that would annoy Naoe even more. He’d been perfectly on track before the whole club mishap. Actually, he was always on track right up until the moment when he chickened out or Naoe pulled some kind of stunt on him. He was never going to get anywhere if he didn’t do something about that; this time, Takaya had to make sure that whatever he chose was something he was willing to go through with.
More than that, he was going to have to raise his stakes. It was his own fault for not seizing one of his earlier opportunities; he’d raised the bar of what it would take to get to Naoe, and he was going to have to recognise that.
Takaya considered his next move for what seemed like eternity, not even noticing when the microwave pinged. He needed something: not necessarily something new, but it had to be slightly different and hopefully brilliant.
He continued to stare at the note, and then it hit him.
Brilliant, he thought with evil glee as he scribbled a response, I am fucking brilliant! Not only something near guaranteed to push Naoe to the limit, but something that wouldn’t even be that hard for Takaya to stick to!
Grabbing the reheated pizza from the microwave and swearing when it burned his fingers, Takaya jogged up the stairs to pull the infamous jeans out of retirement.
~
Naoe came home to find a note waiting for him patiently on the kitchen table.
‘I don’t think I’m being unreasonable at all. I just expect you to be less of a dickhead and make me some goddamn promises- and I’ll give you a little encouragement to do so if necessary.’
“What promises?” Naoe demanded of the uncaring world, and, noticing that Takaya was in the other room, redirected his question. “What promises? I’ll make them if you stop being so childish!”
“Hm?” Takaya responded vaguely, reading a book and by all appearances ignoring him.
“Takaya-san, please look at me when I’m talking to- wait. Would you please clarify encouragement?”
“You’ll figure it out for yourself,” Takaya said, snapping his book shut and rolling his eyes. “Are you going to shut up or do I need to go to my room?”
“No, hold on,” Naoe ordered. “What precisely do you mean by promises?”
Takaya got to his feet, internalising a smirk when he realised Naoe’s eyes were very much focussed on his jeans and not his face. “You promise not to be such a bastard, and I reconsider you fucking me. Simple.”
That brought Naoe’s eyes jerking up. “Pardon?”
“You heard,” Takaya said, almost cheerful as he started walking past.
He was halfway up the stairs by the time Naoe’s brain resumed normal functioning. “What kind of a promise is that?”
“The kind you make if you want to sleep with me ever again,” Takaya informed him. “Don’t even try lying, I’ll know.”
He disappeared into his room before Naoe could even figure out what the hell had just happened.
Unfortunately, the part that sunk in the most was the jeans.
~
Naoe wasn’t really sure if he was supposed to write a note back, given that Takaya was talking to him again, so he didn’t. Things went smoothly for approximately a week, during the space of which they had their first exorcism since Takaya’s fainting stunt. (It had been a fairly slow period, for which Naoe was eternally grateful- the way they were functioning before, he wouldn’t have been surprised if they got themselves killed, and being reborn was not exactly convenient.)
He had been naïve enough to think that perhaps that had marked the end of that highly bizarre saga (the one upside had been finally sleeping with Kagetora, though he suspected maybe now he’d completely blown it for himself for the rest of eternity), and that things would settle down temporarily before flaring up in to a different cycle of mutual cruelty.
He was wrong.
Perhaps he had again resumed his prat-like behavior; perhaps Takaya had simply been biding his time. It was, most likely, a combination of the two. Either way, Naoe had been lulled into a false sense of security and was not prepared for Takaya’s next assault.
“I’m tired,” Takaya announced. “You going to stay up and watch this shit?”
“It’s not, as you so delicately put it, shit,” Naoe said exasperatedly. “And yes, I am.”
“Whatever,” Takaya said nonchalantly. Naoe was half leaning against the bench between the kitchen and living room; Takaya moved as if to pass by him on the way to his room. “Night.”
Naoe had intended to say goodnight in return, but before he could get a word out Takaya had given his tie a yank and reeled him in for an open mouth kiss. It took a few seconds to process; when it had, Naoe obviously moved immediately to pull Takaya into his arms.
Takaya jumped out of his way, making it seem like a natural end to the kiss.
“See you in the morning, then,” Takaya said, smirking infuriatingly as he bounded up the stairs and left a rather frustrated Naoe behind him.
He did that on purpose, Naoe knew with stunned bewilderment. He didn’t know why, but it wasn’t a mere impulse; Kagetora wouldn’t do something like that on a whim, not out of respect of Naoe’s feelings but his own need for distance.
He wondered what Takaya was up to, and then, not being able to concentrate on his television programme any longer, he went to have a cold shower.
The universe mocked him, he felt.
~
Takaya was very pleased with the manner in which his plan was proceeding.
Naoe was not.
He had, it seemed, grossly underestimated the lengths to which Takaya was willing to go to spite him. He had thought the kissing trick had been low; as it turned out, that was only the beginning.
‘Remember what I said about encouragement? You did ask for clarification.’
“Takaya-san,” Naoe said to the teenager buttering his toast with disinterest, “what precisely is the point of continuing to write notes when we are in fact talking like rational human beings?”
Naoe’s definition of rational, like his definitions of ‘prat’ and ‘stalking’, was probably just a little skewed.
Takaya shrugged and said something muffled through a mouthful of toast, rolling his eyes at Naoe’s pained expression.
“I said,” he reiterated having finished the bite, “because it frustrates you.”
Naoe returned to his tea, not feeling that a statement such as that deserved to be dignified with a response. After a while, it had effectively slipped his mind, and he didn’t think to be wary of Takaya’s strange behaviour later in the evening.
“Takaya-san,” Naoe sighed, “is there a reason you are hovering near my chair?”
“What, you’d rather I sat?”
“If you don’t mind, yes.”
“If you say so,” Takaya said, with unusual placidity. Naoe didn’t have long to wonder at it, however, before Takaya was sprawled over him in a straddle.
“Takaya-san,” Naoe said, sounding vaguely strained, “what are you doing?”
“You told me to sit,” Takaya explained smugly. “I’m sitting.”
“Not like-” Naoe stopped to ask himself precisely why he was protesting. “Alright, fine.”
“Great,” Takaya said, and celebrated this minor victory by sticking his tongue halfway down Naoe’s throat. Naoe most emphatically did not mind, especially when Takaya’s arms were wrapped around his neck and the teenager was squirming in all the right ways.
Naoe’s hands had just made their way under Takaya’s shirt when there was a shove on his shoulders and Takaya was pushing back off his lap.
“Feeling encouraged enough?” Takaya asked him charmingly.
Naoe stared at him, feeling very encouraged but not the kind of encouraged that made it easy to think. “Pardon?”
“The promise,” Takaya said. “About not being a jackass.”
“Oh,” Naoe said distantly. “That promise. I’m afraid I don’t quite comprehend the terms of it.”
“It’s simple,” Takaya told him. “I’ll put it in another way for you: are you even going to consider stop trying to score points over Kagetora?”
“You are Kagetora-sama,” Naoe said blankly.
“Exactly. Well?”
Naoe stared at him, unsure of his answer. If he were smart, he would have just told Takaya he would regardless. If he were sane, he would have meant it.
He was Naoe.
“Oh, never mind,” Takaya said in disgust, and left a supremely frustrated Naoe behind him when he went upstairs.
The plan may have worked a lot worse had Naoe known Takaya was going to go wank off in the shower.
~
There was no note in the kitchen the next morning. This should have made Naoe feel relieved, but instead it left him vaguely paranoid. What was Takaya up to? Because he was up to something, there was no mistaking that. A note may have given some indication of when or how he intended to strike next.
Naoe was jumping at shadows for the whole day; it was almost a relief when Takaya accosted him in the hallway.
Almost.
"Takaya-san," he said warily, wondering if there were some way he could get past without incident and then wondering when this had even become an issue.
"Naoe," Takaya said neutrally. He tilted his head and smirked. "What, are you afraid of me or something?"
"I have no idea what you're referring to," Naoe said evasively. "I have no reason to fear you."
"Oh, I don't know," Takaya said dryly. "I can think of a few. Anyway, if you're not afraid, why are you staring at the door like it's a free pass to Nirvana?"
"There is a difference," Naoe informed him with great dignity, "between fear and caution. Now, if you will excuse me-"
"Oh, no," Takaya shot back, voice hardening. "I don't think so, Naoe."
Takaya gave him a push, not a shove, and this time it was Naoe against the wall, Takaya pressing up against him. Naoe was beginning to question how much walls figured in their relationship, or at least in what passed for their relationship.
Naoe was going to ask Takaya precisely what he thought he was doing but then the boy kissed him, less aggressively than on previous occasions and with greater effect. Naoe's body responded accordingly, and this time Takaya allowed himself to be pulled close, pliant and willing. Naoe approved of this turn of events; he approved even more when Takaya dropped slowly to his knees and pushed his hands under Naoe's shirt, shallow breath brushing Naoe's skin.
Naoe had a fleeting moment to ask himself if Takaya actually had a clue of what to do next before Takaya leaned forward and bit his hip, teeth scraping dully against the bone. Naoe made a noise of confusion and Takaya climbed back to his feet, grinning ferally.
"In your dreams, Naoe. Have you thought about that promise yet?"
"Huh?" Naoe said dumbly, so hard it hurt.
"Oh well," Takaya said. "Looks like you need a little more time to think about it, then. Too bad."
With that, Takaya upped and left, leaving an increasingly desperate and sexually frustrated Naoe to bang his head dully back into the wall and seriously contemplate the logistics of Takaya's promise.
Takaya was frustrating himself too, true; however, he was frustrating Naoe more, and that made it completely worth it.
~
The next occasion when Naoe was ambushed he was back in the living room, this time on the couch rather than in the armchair. Takaya took full advantage both of this and the element of surprise (not to mention his momentum) to pin Naoe down and sit on his legs.
"Takaya-san!" Naoe exclaimed, having been taken completely by surprise.
"Yes?" Takaya prompted him, and began undoing Naoe's belt buckle.
Naoe abruptly forgot what he'd been about to say. "Never mind."
"I thought you'd say that," Takaya said, and frowned as the belt stubbornly refused to come undone.
Looking at the expression on Takaya's face, which was one of determination, Naoe remembered again. "Wait. What are you doing?"
Takaya rolled his eyes, hands stilling. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
Naoe sighed irritably. "It looks like you are about to do what you have done the last few times, namely initiate something and then back out of it simply to frustrate me."
"Very good," Takaya said with a smirk, resuming his attempt at unbuckling the belt. Naoe caught his wrists firmly in one hand.
"Why?"
"Maybe I just like being cruel to you," Takaya said flatly, "like you do to me. Or, as you'd remember if you ever listened to me, maybe there's something you need to promise me."
Naoe stared at him blankly for several minutes, and Takaya moved as if to get off him. Naoe tightened his grip, forcing him to stay where he was, and Takaya snorted.
"Think of it this way, Naoe," he said harshly. "This is like the physical version of what you fucking do with my head. You mess with my feelings, I mess with your hormones."
Understanding belatedly dawned, and the promise Takaya was trying to extract suddenly made more sense.
"And if I promise?" Naoe countered. "How will you know I mean it?"
"I told you, I can tell," Takaya said. He didn't know how, but he was pretty sure that he would somehow. "And if you break it, no more second chances."
Which was, in fact, a lie. Takaya would probably just return to his petty code of revenge if that happened.
Naoe didn't know that, however.
"I see," Naoe said slowly, wondering if Takaya really had a clue precisely how much he was asking when he told Naoe to set aside his hate for Kagetora. Perhaps Takaya only remembered the things Naoe had done to hurt Kagetora, but Kagetora had been far nastier on occasion than Naoe could ever hope to top.
He fully expected Takaya to resume that behaviour when his memories had fully returned; he was resigned to it.
Resigned aside from trying to get a few attacks of his own in first, anyway.
Takaya sat in silence, fidgeting slightly as he watched Naoe think before his impatience overwhelmed him. "It's really not that hard. Do you need more encouragement or something?"
Oh dear, Naoe had time to think, and then Takaya's tongue was in his mouth. He pulled Takaya down to lie on top of him, pinning his arms to his sides, and Takaya turned away from the kiss.
"Let go," he panted.
"I think I've had enough encouragement," Naoe murmured, hand forcing Takaya to look at him. "Really, it would be an act of petty stupidity not to grant you your promise."
That wasn't necessarily saying much, as Naoe was known to indulge in petty stupidity. It was, however, a start.
Takaya glared at him suspiciously. "No more games?"
"As best as I am able," Naoe agreed, and was rewarded when Takaya surged forward to roughly resume the kiss.
This time, it was all or nothing; no pulling back at just the wrong moment, and certainly no eerie passivity. Takaya fumbled for Naoe's belt again, getting it undone with far more ease than he had on his last attempt, and tugged impatiently at the belt loops to pull the trousers down.
Somehow, it wasn't surprising that Takaya wanted to move at a fast pace. Laughing quietly into Takaya's mouth, Naoe took the opportunity to flip them over so that he was the one pressing Takaya down into the couch cushions and was amused to see the flash of shock in Takaya's eyes, quickly followed by confused lust when Naoe pushed down against him. He broke the kiss, gasping for air.
"N-Naoe..."
"Shh," Naoe murmured, unbuttoning Takaya's short-sleeved shirt and licking a path up his chest. Takaya's breath hitched; letting out a high-pitched whimper, he bucked up, clenching his hands in Naoe's hair.
This was more like it, Naoe decided. Takaya should never be submissive.
His mouth dwelled around between Takaya's neck and stomach for some time, Takaya clearly growing more and more impatient until he'd decided he'd had enough teasing and yanked Naoe's head up for a heated kiss that showed just how turned on he was getting. Naoe very much appreciated the demonstration, especially when Takaya began wriggling under him in a desperate bid to divest himself of his own trousers. Naoe considered helping, but really, he had no objections to Takaya writhing underneath him and the boy seemed to be doing perfectly well on his own.
Takaya finally succeeded in kicking his pants off to fall to the floor and wrapped long legs around Naoe’s thighs. Naoe approved, and he approved even more when Takaya’s arms linked behind his neck and pulled him down to bite hard enough to sting on his collarbone.
It was a change, something different; an aggressive, possessive move, the kind Naoe wouldn’t expect from Kagetora.
“Takaya-san?”
“Mine,” Takaya said roughly, glowering up defiantly into Naoe’s eyes. “If I belong to you then it goes both ways.”
Naoe was surprised, but pleasantly so: if Takaya wanted to own him, then he was less likely to leave. Kagetora had never wanted to own him in this way before because Kagetora had never wanted him, full stop. Naoe was used to wanting to possess Kagetora, a sharp niggling pain that had faded to a dull constant throb with time, but this was the first time it had gone both ways.
“Yours,” Naoe agreed, his voice almost as uneven as Takaya’s was. This seemed to appease the teenager lying beneath him, because Takaya tightened the hold of his arms and legs as if trying to absorb Naoe into him, pressing fervent kisses against his neck before crushing his mouth against the older man’s once more.
Takaya’s breathing was coming fast and shallow. “Do you,” and he had to stop to swallow, because his throat was dry, “do you have any, you know, lube?”
Blunt, because Takaya was always blunt, but there was a light tinge of pink on his cheeks. If he were challenged on it he’d deny it; it’s just hot, he’d argue, of course I’m not fucking blushing, that’s for girls, but he was not quite as brash as he’d like to pretend.
“In my jacket,” Naoe managed, hands tracing a path down Takaya’s chest and mouth following after in a fiery blaze that had nothing to do with magic and everything to do with passion.
“Freak,” Takaya muttered, because what kind of weirdo carried around lube in their pockets? What kind of monk, for that matter, and Takaya made a face as he groped around on the floor for the jacket and then for the right pocket.
“Got it!” he announced triumphantly, flicking his wrist so Naoe could see.
Naoe’s hands slid up Takaya’s thighs and Takaya hissed, a sharp indrawn breath of lust and shock. His arms and legs trembled, the small container almost slipping from his fingers before Naoe rescued it.
“Wonderful,” Naoe said calmly, and was darkly amused when he spread it on his fingers and Takaya’s breath hitched with nervous anticipation. “Are you quite sure, Takaya-san?”
“What the fuck do you think?” Takaya snapped, but he sounded young and scared despite himself, even though this wasn’t technically the first time they’d done this.
Naoe could be insensitive at times, obsessive and twisted and just plain nasty, but he loved Kagetora as much as he’d ever hated him. He stopped.
“Are you sure,” he repeated gently, gaze catching and holding Takaya’s dark and slightly panicked eyes. “We don’t have to do this. I will stop if you tell me to.”
“I,” Takaya said, and stopped to take a shaky breath because his voice was unsteady. “I’ll kill you if you stop now.”
Thank you, his eyes told Naoe silently, but this is what I want. Words he’d die rather than say.
“In that case, I’d better not.”
Naoe leaned forward to kiss him, slowly and tenderly, and warm slippery fingers brushed his entrance. Takaya clutched desperately at Naoe’s shoulders as if he were drowning in the kiss, tough act crumbling to pieces around him.
The fingers stretched him and then when he was finally getting used to the weird and slightly uncomfortable feeling of intrusion, they brushed the sensitive nerves inside him, causing him to arch up into Naoe and cry out at the top of his lungs into Naoe’s mouth. He tried to push down, but Naoe’s hand pulled away, leaving Takaya pissed off and going crazy.
Takaya broke the kiss off and glared, unable to form a coherent sentence or even a coherent swearword.
“This is definitely what you want?” Naoe asked insistently, earning himself a sharp bite to the neck and a look that could kill for his consideration.
“If you ask me that one more time,” Takaya growled, “I’ll fucking snap.”
“I just don’t want you to change your mind when it’s already too late,” Naoe said, and pushed into Takaya with one smooth and completely unexpected motion.
“Oh, holy fucking ow!” Takaya yelled wildly, throwing his head back and digging angry red marks into Naoe’s skin.
“I thought you’d get angry if I took it slowly!” Naoe said defensively, though there was a conciliatory note creeping into his tone. Taking every ounce of willpower he had, he forced himself not to move.
“Damn right I would!” Takaya snarled through gritted teeth. “But that doesn’t change the fact that it fucking hurts!”
He could feel it hurting, this time, unshielded by the layers of cotton wool. He hadn’t realised how painful it really was. He hadn’t felt anything, in fact, and remembering that lukewarm distance suddenly he welcomed the pain.
“Move,” he gasped. “Just move, Naoe!”
“Are you all right, though?”
“Stop with the fucking questions already!” Takaya said frantically, and bucked up to make his point.
Naoe’s self control shattered.
He pushed forward, hitting the spot inside Takaya this time, and the agony was interrupted by an intense burst of pleasure. Takaya let out a moan, legs tensing around Naoe’s hips, and Naoe rightly took this for encouragement, building up a rhythm of hard-and-fast.
Takaya was going to hurt for a week or so at this rate; he didn’t much care.
The pleasure and pain grew and mingled until they were one and the same, an intense overwhelming flood of sensation that Takaya had no comparison for. The swell of feeling grew and his voice grew with it, climbing louder and louder into incoherent moans and cries, streams of cursing and praying and Naoe’s name jumbled together. He may or may not have said, “Oh God, oh fuck, shit, Naoe, I love you, fucking hell I love you so much” right before he orgasmed; he certainly screamed something, but it was muffled by the desperate sloppy kiss he sealed Naoe’s mouth with, hands knotted painfully in Naoe’s hair and tongue halfway down his throat.
Takaya came down from his high with a sore throat, aching limbs, stiff legs and a centred area of agony he didn’t even want to contemplate. To add to the discomfit, he was sticky with both come and sweat.
“Nng,” he complained meaningfully.
Naoe mumbled something that was probably about love.
“Yeah, me too,” Takaya sighed tiredly. At least, he intended to; what he said was “mmrph,” and since Naoe was not proficient at deciphering the language of noncommittal grunts and they both fell asleep not long afterwards, Takaya’s reply went unheard.
~
Naoe woke up tired and sore on the couch well into the next morning with the feeling that something was missing. He rolled over, forgetting where he was, and landed with a rather awkward thud on the floor, wounding his dignity more than himself.
Takaya. Takaya was missing.
Quiet panic began to niggle at the back of his mind. Don’t be stupid, he told himself, collecting his clothing from the floor with as much decorum as he could under the circumstances. Takaya’s clothes were gone because Takaya had already gotten up and gotten dressed. Simple.
He was probably having breakfast.
Naoe managed to ignore the doubt plaguing him until he walked into the kitchen, finding it empty with a note on the table. He froze, stomach flipping over. This was exactly like what had happened last time.
Oh, God. Oh no. He’d thought… but he’d made sure that Takaya knew what he was doing, that he wouldn’t change his mind again…
Naoe stood motionless at the door for around five minutes before he could force himself to move, picking up the note with the terrible trepidation making him feel sick. He read it, and he stared.
‘Naoe- we’re out of fucking butter again. Aren’t you supposed to love and adore me and cater to my every whim, or some shit like that? Jerk.’
Butter, Naoe thought blankly. Takaya wants more butter. Where was Takaya? No, butter first. Where there was butter, Naoe reasoned in a daze, there would be Takaya.
First things first, though. He needed clean clothes.
He trudged up the stairs, brain still not quite online, and stopped at the door to his room. Stop start, stop start, that was the problem with autopilot; it failed in the face of the unexpected.
Had he left his door shut? He didn’t remember that.
Oh well. It wasn’t really important. Shrugging mentally, Naoe opened the door and walked into the room, dirty clothes bundled over his arms. His blankets moved.
“Close the door,” Takaya mumbled. “’N stop making so much noise.”
Naoe blinked. “Takaya-san?”
Takaya sat up, sleepy and rumpled and rather like a cranky kitten. “Who the fuck else would it be?” he said, voice soft and hoarse. He yawned. “You and your psycho paranoia.”
“Takaya-san…”
“Enough with the freaking san,” Takaya said into the pillow. “What the fuck are you standing there for, anyway? Get your arse over here already.”
Naoe crossed the room tentatively, sitting on the edge of the bed. Takaya’s clothes from the day before were discarded on the floor in a balled up wad. Naoe had the vague urge to hang them up, but he disregarded it.
“What are you…”
Takaya rolled his eyes. “The couch was uncomfortable. Duh.”
Naoe opened his mouth again, probably to ask some inane question; as far as Takaya was concerned, there were much better things Naoe could do with the breath he was about to waste. Takaya lethargically slid a hand around the back of the older man’s neck, pulling a surprised Naoe down into a lazy kiss. As soon as he released Naoe, he flopped back onto the pillow and gave Naoe a very meaningful look through his lashes.
“Get into bed before I kick your arse, Naoe.”
Dumbly, Naoe climbed across the bed to join Takaya under the covers. Takaya sighed, eyes fluttering closed as he rolled over to bury his head in Naoe’s neck.
He murmured something under his breath, lips brushing Naoe’s skin. Naoe was getting better at understanding non-committal grunts, however, and this time he was quite sure he caught it.
“I love you too, even if you are a prat.”
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