Match Made in Weird Hell
Title: Match Made in Weird Hell
Pairings: Rachel/Bedazzler, Quinn/Bacon, Rachel/Quinn, minor Santana/Brittany
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~5,300
Summary: Rachel and Quinn each have an obsession.
Author's Note: Posted A) because it won in an overwhelming majority in a poll I held on my Tumblr and B) because it's itsamaleduck / itsamaleduck's birthday AND she is the one that gave me the idea =) Happy birthday, bb!
When Quinn moved in with Rachel after the start of their junior year (Mercedes’ brother got expelled from college after accidentally burning down his dormitory) the blonde was a little apprehensive. Sure, she and Rachel had struck up a tentative friendship over the summer because of the brunette’s demand for weekly glee club rehearsals. Sure, Rachel wasn’t as annoying when school wasn’t in session. And yeah, she was awesome for letting Quinn move in with her. But she was still Rachel Berry and Quinn wasn’t sure how long she could last. She was out of options, though.
They got Quinn’s things moved in and Rachel gave her the grand tour of the Berry house. It was a nice house, Quinn liked it well enough. It was simple and not at all how she thought it would be thanks to the stereotypes she’d been brought up with. It was a house. Like any other house. There weren’t pride flags hanging everywhere and there wasn’t a shrine to Cher above the mantle. It was normal. That is, until Quinn stepped into Rachel’s room.
“Oh my God! Berry…did your room get into a fight with a Bedazzler?!” was the first thing that came out of Quinn’s mouth.
Literally. Everything. Bedazzled. There were tiny fake jewels on the brunette’s CD player, landline phone, cell phone, TV, iPod, elliptical, dresser, desk, nightstand, bed, bulletin board, EVERYTHING.
Rachel let out an offended squeak. “I’ll have you know that Bedazzling is a very therapeutic activity and I resent…”
Quinn tuned out the rest of Rachel’s rant and picked up a jacket (for the love of God, it was Bedazzled around all of the edges) that was on the brunette’s desk. Underneath? Her laptop. Her Bedazzled laptop.
“Good Lord! Did you just cover everything in glue and then throw rhinestones around?! Jesus, Berry!”
Rachel grabbed the jacket out of Quinn’s hands and growled. “I like my things this way.”
“You need an intervention. Where is the Bedazzler? I’m taking it away from you.”
“Not on your life!”
Quinn shook her head. “Just...Keep the rhinestones in your room, okay?”
“Fine, we have a deal. My Bedazzler will not leave this room.”
Rachel stuck out her hand and Quinn took it, sealing the promise.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Two weeks went by with no problems. Quinn actually liked living in the Berry house aside from the fact that the family had recently decided to convert to veganism. That was just unfair considering Quinn’s absolutely love for bacon. But the blonde had her ways of procuring her favorite food so it was all good.
Quinn yawned and said her goodnight to Rachel as she exited the brunette’s room. Their study session for Spanish had gone long into the night and Quinn was dead tired as she hauled herself to her room and into bed. She was too tired to ignore the nagging feeling like she’d forgotten something and instead fell into a deep sleep.
The blonde was up early the next morning searching for her things to pack in her backpack. She furrowed her eyebrows at lack of Spanish book, notebooks, and laptop but quickly remembered she’d left them in Rachel’s room. She went to the brunette’s door, it was open and there was the sound of running water coming from Rachel’s bathroom. Quinn spotted the edge of her laptop underneath a pillow that had fallen off the bed. She grabbed the computer and searched around the floor for her other things when she felt something rough against her hand. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked down at the top of her computer.
“RACHEL!!”
Her laptop had fallen victim to rhinestones. Pink rhinestones. In the pattern of a Q.
“Berry, I swear to whatever God you believe in that I am going to kill you!” Quinn dropped her laptop on the bed and stormed to the bathroom door where there was no longer the sound of running water. The door slammed the rest of the way shut, Quinn tried to turn the handle but it had been locked.
“Quinn, I suggest you calm down for a minute so we can…”
“Bull! You Bedazzled my laptop! My! Laptop! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you!”
“Quinn, please calm down!”
“No!”
“It was there! I couldn’t help it! It looked so…plain and forlorn! It needed…”
“It’s a computer! It doesn’t need anything except a virus scan and a defrag!”
“I swear it won’t happen again. I swear!”
Quinn growled and backed away from the door to search for her notebook and textbook. Luckily Rachel hadn’t gotten to them. She grabbed her things and stormed out of Rachel’s room. She tried all morning to pick the little jewels off but Rachel must’ve used some kind of unstickable glue because those little things were not coming off. Ever. Quinn left the house early and went to Denny’s, there was only one thing that could calm her nerves.
“Hey Stella,” she greeted her favorite waitress. “Can you get me like…six strips of bacon to go?”
“Sure hon, give me just a minute.”
Quinn smiled and pulled out exact change plus a two dollar tip. The exchange was made and the blonde scarfed down the bacon on the way to school.
“Quinn!” the shrill voice echoed in her ears and she growled as she spun around to see Rachel running toward her. “Quinn, where did you go this morning?! I was worried! You should inform someone of your whereabouts at all times. The possibility of scenarios…”
“I wanted to get breakfast out, I’m fine.”
“Daddy prepared veggie omelets with egg substitute. Was that not sufficient enough? Were we out of organic bagels?”
“I wanted something…else.”
Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. “Your breath is very peculiar. Very…”
“Bacon-y?”
Rachel gasped. “Quinn! How dare you!? You’ve contributed to the slaughter of an innocent animal, do you realize this? That pig could’ve had a Family! Parents, children, siblings! This is horrible!”
“Are you done now? Look, I’ve stuck to the vegan thing except for that…and a few other times.”
“A few other times?! When?!”
“I don’t know…” Quinn growled. That was untrue, actually. She could tell you that almost every other day she snuck out of school to go to Denny’s to have their French toast Grand Slam with double bacon on the side or a double bacon cheeseburger or a bacon, tomato, and lettuce sandwich…she started drooling at the thought of maybe having a bacon avocado burrito for lunch that day.
Rachel gasped again. “What, do you just go to Denny’s and eat bacon every day?”
Quinn blinked. “Uh…”
“And you think my obsession with Bedazzling is insane? You’re obsessed with bacon!”
“I am not!” Quinn swallowed hard and averted Rachel’s gaze. “I…I just…there’s…”
“At least my obsession is healthy and not artery clogging.”
“Your obsession ruined my laptop!”
“It gave your laptop character. I worked hard on that, by the way.”
Quinn growled. Her retort was cut off by the bell ringing signaling she needed to go to class so she turned on her heel and marched down the hallway. She was having a bacon avocado burrito for lunch and a side of bacon even if it killed her.
-*-*-*-*-*-
The blonde darted down the hallway when lunch came and breathed a sigh of relief when she got to the parking lot. She headed for her car and looked back at the school and chuckled but it was cut off by a clearing of the throat when she got to her car. Rachel stepped out from behind the truck next to it. Quinn groaned.
“Going somewhere?”
“None of your damn business.”
“I believe it is my business, Quinn. You see, with you living under my fathers’ roof that puts me in a position of being partially responsible for you.”
“Step away from the car, Rachel.”
“No.”
“Rachel, I’m warning you. I want a bacon avocado burrito and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
“Listen, I was thinking that perhaps we could strike up a deal. You give up bacon and I’ll give up Bedazzling.”
Quinn pursed her lips in thought for a moment. “No. Bedazzle all you want, I’ll just keep my stuff out of your room.” She got in her car and left Rachel standing in the parking lot with her arms crossed over her chest. Quinn savored the salty bacon for lunch that day.
-*-*-*-*-*-
A week later and their fight over bacon almost forgotten, Quinn stumbled back to her room after Rachel had fallen asleep in the middle of their study session for history. The blonde crawled into bed and shut her eyes after running through a list of what she’d taken into Rachel’s room and making sure she’d taken everything back with her. She smiled as she drifted off to sleep.
The next morning the blonde was frantically searching for her McKinley High sweatshirt. She ran through all of the places she could’ve had it and when she remembered wearing it the night before but taking it off in Rachel’s room because it was warm in there. The blonde panicked and ran down the hall, she didn’t bother knocking before she burst into Rachel’s room. There, neatly folded on Rachel’s desk was Quinn’s sweater. Each red letter of WMHS was outlined with red rhinestones. There was also a pencil on top of it that Quinn barely recognized as her own. It had been covered with blue jewels.
The blonde was seething. She burst into Rachel’s bathroom and the brunette squealed as she tried to cover herself with what she could reach in the shower. Quinn flung open the curtain and locked eyes with the now petrified diva.
“There is something wrong with you!”
“Me?! You’re the one bursting in on me in the shower!”
“My. Sweatshirt. My sweatshirt, Rachel! I wear that!”
“I…alright…I…at first it was for revenge on behalf of the innocent swine that have died because of your addiction to bacon but…but…I can’t stop. The pencil told me to do it.”
“You’re insane.”
Quinn shut the shower curtain and stopped dead in her tracks when she headed for the bathroom door. She was salivating…but not craving bacon. She shook her head and continued out of the bathroom, grabbed her sweatshirt and pencil, and stormed to her room. She waited for Rachel that day and instead of driving to school she went through McDonald’s drive-thru, despite Rachel’s screeching protests, and ordered a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Rachel literally tore the bag out of her hands, the sandwich went flying. The brunette clawed her way to it (Quinn came out bleeding) and she tossed the sandwich at a homeless man standing outside of the restaurant.
“Mature, Rachel! You know I haven’t had breakfast!”
Rachel pulled an apple out of her backpack. “Here,” she said, her voice full of triumph. “Have this. Apples are full of natural sugars that are shown to keep you more alert than a can of soda or a cup of coffee.”
Quinn mumbled exactly what Rachel could do with the apple as well as her Bedazzler and drove them to school. By second period her stomach was growling and she gave in and pulled the apple out of her backpack. She tossed the core in Rachel’s locker as she passed on her way to third period. The brunette shrieked a little and Quinn giggled. She double backed and grabbed the core, giving Rachel a wink as she walked away. She stopped halfway down the hall when she felt Rachel’s eyes drilling holes into the back of her head and she thought back to her actions. She’d actually winked at Rachel. She turned around, the brunette was bright red and had her lower lip tucked between her teeth. Quinn swallowed hard and turned on her heel to run away.
Quinn hated sixth period. The room was always freezing. She sighed and reluctantly grabbed her newly Bedazzled sweater out of her locker as she went to the classroom. She pulled the garment over her head and held her books over her chest as she made her way to the back of the room. When the teacher called her up to fill in the blanks for an equation on the board she groaned.
“Nice sweater, Q,” Santana snarked when the blonde returned to her seat. “Berry violate your closet with her Bedazzler?”
“I think she needs an intervention,” Quinn mumbled.
“She said the same thing about you and bacon,” Brittany said. “I think she’s right. You like…made Mercedes get it for you at three in the morning that one time.”
“I was pregnant,” the blonde hissed.
“You made me get it for you before you were pregnant,” Santana snapped. “Seriously, you put that shit on everything.”
“I do not.”
“You put it on your ice cream,” Brittany said, face scrunched in disgust.
“One time! One time to see how it tasted!”
“You’re obsessed, Fabray.” Santana shrugged. “Just get over it. Berry has her Bedazzler, you have your bacon. It’s like matches made in weird hell or something. I’m waiting for you two to somehow conceive a rhinestone clad bacon-loving spawn.”
“Rachel would never allow any of our spawn to eat bac…” Quinn trailed off and swallowed hard as Santana and Brittany stared at her.
“No fuckin’ way, Q. No way.”
“I…”
Brittany grinned. “You like Rachel!”
“Shut up,” Quinn hissed. “I do not!”
“You have the hots for Man Hands. I think I might be sick.”
Brittany squealed. “You should ask her on a date! You could go on a double date with me and San!”
“No!” Santana growled. “No, no, no. B. No. Abso-fuckin-lutely not.”
Quinn’s head was spinning as Santana and Brittany continued to bicker at each other over whether or not the foursome would go on a double date. Surely she didn’t have a crush on Rachel Berry. Surely not. There was no way.
“Fine,” Santana snapped. “They can come to the arcade and dinner but not the movie.”
“No!” Quinn hissed. “I…I don’t like her!”
“Yes you do,” Brittany said with a nod.
The bell rang and Quinn growled. “No,” she slammed her book shut, “I don’t.”
Quinn stormed out of the classroom and pulled her shirt off. She furrowed her eyebrows at the familiar yet unfamiliar scent. She inhaled a few more times before realizing it was Rachel’s room. She smiled a little before she shook her head and threw the sweatshirt into her locker.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Ten days and thirteen Bedazzled items later, Quinn was absolutely certain that Rachel needed an intervention.
Her bag she used for gym clothes (left it in the laundry room), favorite pair of socks (still not sure), three pens (left them in Rachel’s room at various times), her calculator (forgot it in the library), two headbands (one of which she knows she left in the choir room, not Rachel’s room), the cup she normally used at dinner (she really didn’t think the brunette would do it so she left it in Rachel’s room), her iPod headphones (yes, it was possible), her camera (which she distinctly remembered leaving in the kitchen; there was almost a bloodbath over that one), her school ID (she left it in the cafeteria and made the mistake of mentioning it to Rachel), and one of the cases to a mixed CD she let Rachel listen to (she should’ve known better).
All of these items were now home to several hundred (if not several thousand) little jewels. And each time Quinn found one of these items she…well, she didn’t do much of anything beyond yelling at the brunette. She’d just sneak out the next day and go to Denny’s and have a few strips of bacon. Rachel could always tell and she’d launch into a lecture on why bacon was unhealthy. Quinn would tune her out. Well, she thought she tuned her out. When Santana started in on Quinn at lunch one day the blonde realized she’d actually kind of soaked up the information.
“Q, you know bacon is…”
“Bad for my health. The grease isn’t conducive to proper and healthy skincare, the fats could clog my arteries and the innocent pigs that die at my hand are…”
“Shut up. You’ve been listening to Treasure Trail too much.”
Quinn growled. “I have not.”
“Fucking ask her out already, okay? B won’t stop bothering me about it.”
“No.”
-*-*-*-*-*-
When Quinn found her iPod covered in rhinestones that was it. For the eleventh time, she stormed into Rachel’s bathroom and yanked the curtain back, the brunette simply turned to face her and sighed.
“You left it in my docking station,” Rachel said.
“This is out of control, Berry. You need help.”
“As do you, my swine ingesting friend.”
“Fine. You want a deal? You stop Bedazzling and I’ll stop eating bacon. There? Happy? It’s what you wanted. And to top it all off, I say we put a $100 bet on it.”
Rachel beamed. “Good.”
“You have to give me the Bedazzler.”
“I’ll give it to my dads, neutral ground. Now, how am I going to be assured that you cease eating bacon?”
It was only then that Quinn realized she was having a full on conversation with one extremely naked and soaking wet Rachel Berry. And again, she was salivating. Just like she had all the other times. Only this time there wasn’t bacon on the horizon. All the other times she could blame it on knowing she was going to have bacon. This time she couldn’t.
“Quinn?”
“We should…have this conversation later. When you’re…when you have clothes on.”
“You’ve never seemed to mind before.”
“I have to go.” Quinn shut the curtain and left the bathroom to take her own shower. A very cold shower.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Day 1
Quinn strolled into school, a smile on her face, after having handed over Rachel’s three Bedazzlers and entire stock of jewels to the brunette’s fathers who looked almost relieved at the deal that had been struck up. Rachel stated that she would have spies on her payroll to watch Quinn’s every move to ensure she didn’t sneak any bacon. Quinn knew it would be easy, she could go without it. No problems. Until lunch.
One of the lunch items that day was breakfast. Scrambled eggs and bacon. Quinn knew it the second she stepped into the cafeteria. Normally she’d shell out a few extra quarters for several extra bacon strips but today, she felt eyes on her. She growled as she picked up a salad, an orange, and a bottle of water. She felt eyes on her again as she sat with Brittany and Santana and looked at the packet of bacon bits that were inside the salad container. She threw the packet at the general direction of Jacob Ben Israel who had his eyes locked on her. He nodded.
“Are you feeling okay, Q?” Santana actually looked worried. “Usually you bribe the cafeteria ladies to put the rest of their bacon stock on your tray.”
“I cut a deal with Rachel. She stops Bedazzling everything in sight, I quit bacon. And I put a $100 bet on it.”
Brittany gasped. Santana snorted.
“I give you three days,” the Latina said, taking a healthy bite of her carrot stick. “You ask her out yet?”
“I don’t like her,” Quinn mumbled.
“Whatever. Denial.”
Day 2
Just to tease the diva, Quinn left everything she could quite possibly think of in Rachel’s room that night. When she went to retrieve the items in the morning there was not one jewel to be found which ruled out Quinn’s theory that Rachel was hiding an extra Bedazzler somewhere. She smirked as she listened to Rachel belt out “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” in the shower. Except "diamonds" was replaced with "rhinestones".
Lunch was easier that day, there was no bacon on the menu. Quinn was perfectly fine until she caught a faint whiff of salty pork. She searched the cafeteria until she found its source. Finn had a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.
“Where did you get that?” Quinn gripped onto the boy’s shoulder.
Finn shrugged. “I guess my mom made it. I thought she made turkey but this is so much better!”
Quinn growled and turned around, she saw Rachel drop a bag with a sandwich in it into the trashcan just as the brunette exited the cafeteria. This was war.
Quinn searched the Berry house high and low when she got home from school that afternoon while Rachel was at ballet club and finally found one of the Bedazzlers in a desk drawer in the den. She took it plus a small bag of jewels and dropped them in her backpack. That night, when Rachel went to get a bottle of water while they were studying, Quinn put the Bedazzler and jewels underneath Rachel’s pillow. She again left all of her things in Rachel’s room that night.
Day 3
Quinn furrowed her eyebrows in her sleep, knowing someone was watching her. She rolled over and slowly opened one eye to see Rachel standing over her, Bedazzler in one hand and jewels in the other.
“You’re sick,” the brunette spat.
“You planted a BLT in the cafeteria yesterday. Who’s the sick one?”
“This is war, Fabray.”
“Bring it on.”
When Quinn got in from hanging out with Brittany and Santana that night she went to her room to find a plate full of bacon in the middle of her bed. She clenched her jaw shut and grabbed the plate. Her feet took her down the hall to Rachel’s room, she didn’t knock before she burst in. The diva was sitting on her bed with a smirk. Quinn tossed the plate at her, bacon landing all over the brunette.
“Quinn!”
“It’s on.”
Rachel growled. “I’ll count the strips, you know.”
“Go ahead.”
Quinn kept her eyes locked on Rachel as the brunette stood up and retrieved the bacon strips. She put them all back on the plate and let out a huff.
“Fine, they’re all there.”
“I told you.”
Rachel marched up to the blonde and squinted at her, searching for a lie somewhere. Quinn felt her lungs stop working as the intensity from the brunette radiated from her. Rachel’s look softened as her tongue darted out to moisten her lips and she leaned up a little. Quinn swallowed hard and just as Rachel’s lips brushed against hers she turned away.
“I have to go.”
“Quinn…”
Quinn heard her name again as she exited Rachel’s bedroom but she kept going. She couldn’t have a crush on Rachel…except that she really, really wanted to kiss her. And if she was honest with herself, it wasn’t the first time she wanted it to happen.
Day 4
Despite what had transpired the night before, Quinn was still determined to win that damn bet. At three in the morning, the blonde snuck out of her room and down the hall. She quietly slipped into Rachel’s room and grabbed the girl’s laptop, cell phone, and CD player and tip-toed back to her room. She took out the solvent she’d found in the Berry’s basement and a credit card and went to work.
At seven in the morning she awoke to a loud shriek and heard thundering footsteps coming right to her door. She sat up quickly and plastered on an innocent smile just as her door flung open.
“You’re cruel! This is cruel!” Rachel held up her now un-Bedazzled laptop. “How dare you?! And this!!” She held up her cell phone, once covered, now had random empty spots, some of which were taken out of the letter “R” that had been on it.
Quinn smirked. “Give up yet?”
Rachel’s look was deeper than hurt over a few missing jewels, Quinn saw.
“Never,” the brunette snarled.
When school let out, Rachel was nowhere to be found. Quinn searched the hallways and grumbled under her breath about missing her favorite Food Network programs. She heard sniffling coming from the choir room as she passed by and she looked in, Rachel was sitting on the risers staring at her phone, Finn next to her.
“I can’t believe she did this,” the brunette mumbled.
“Well…you did kind of taunt her with bacon in the middle of her bed.”
“But my phone is now…just…look at it! And my CD player is now asymmetrical! I had perfectly arranged symmetrical patterns on it and now…now it just looks like some novice with a tube of super glue and some rhinestones had their way with it!”
“Is this another one of those chick things where you’re really pissed about something else? Because…like…it’s just a bunch of plastic jewels. I don’t really get it.”
“It’s something I love!” the diva shrieked.
“Uh…”
“You’ll never understand. It…it’s like she doesn’t even care!”
“So…you want her to care?”
Quinn saw the confused look on Finn’s face as he tried to decipher Rachel’s words.
“Of course I want her to care! I want to know she has the capacity to take care of fragile things.”
“Uh…okay. Why…”
“Boys,” Rachel grumbled. "This is why we didn't work, Finn." She shoved her phone in her pocket and Quinn panicked when Rachel stood up and started heading toward the door.
Finn sighed. "Ouch."
Quinn stepped back and plastered herself against the wall next to the door, praying Rachel didn’t look around when she exited. The brunette made it five steps away from the door before she stopped and turned.
“How much of that did you hear?” Rachel asked with a sniffle.
“Uh…”
“I can understand dangling the Bedazzler in front of me but destroying something I thought was safe is an entirely different matter, Quinn.”
“Why do I have a feeling you’re not talking about the Bedazzler?” Quinn sighed.
“Well,” Rachel straightened up her shoulders, “at least you’re smarter than Finn.”
Day 5
Quinn was so depressed she couldn’t even think about bacon. Rachel hadn’t spoken to her since their confrontation outside of the choir room. The ride home had been silent. All night had been silent as had all morning. At lunch she picked at her tuna salad sandwich but finally pushed her tray away.
“What’s gotten into you?” Santana asked, eyebrow arched.
“Nothing.”
“How’s the bet with RuPaul going?”
“Stop calling her that!” Quinn snapped. “She’s Rachel, okay?!”
“Ask her out, Q.”
“Stop it, Santana.”
“No. You like her. God, everyone sees it but you! Ask her out or I’m going to tell JewFro he’s got an opening.”
Quinn growled.
Day 6
Quinn stared at her clock. It was two in the morning. Rachel still wasn’t speaking to her. She sighed as Santana’s words echoed through her head and the blonde gave up. She had a crush on Rachel. She really, really, really liked Rachel. She wanted her, period.
The blonde jumped out of bed and silently went down the stairs and into the Berry’s den. She grabbed the Bedazzler and bag of jewels out of the desk drawer, went to the linen closet and grabbed a sheet, and went back to her room to start working. The contraption took a little getting used to but once Quinn got the hang of it, it was pretty good. Nothing like what Rachel could do, the blonde thought, but it would suffice.
Quinn re-folded the sheet and dozed off until the smell of coffee woke her. She was glad it was a Saturday, she was definitely going to need a nap later. Well, if Rachel allowed it. The blonde wasn’t sure what was going to happen. She rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and make herself look somewhat presentable. She grabbed the sheet off of her bed and went to Rachel’s room, the sound of music through her iPod docking station signaled that the brunette was probably on the elliptical. Quinn threw open the door and tossed the sheet on Rachel’s bed.
“What the hell is this, Rachel?!”
Rachel jumped a little and stopped to stare at the blonde. “What?”
“What?! Are you kidding me?! Look at that!”
“Quinn, I have no idea…”
“Really? You’re kidding me, right?”
Rachel jumped off the machine and grabbed onto the sheet and ran her fingers over a few jewels. “Quinn, I swear! This is a bedsheet, why would I Bedazzle a bedsheet?”
Frustrated, Quinn yanked the sheet out of Rachel’s hands and unfolded it, spreading it out on the diva’s bed. She smirked as Rachel looked down and furrowed her eyebrows.
“Well?” Quinn crossed her arms over her chest and glanced down at the sheet where she’d Bedazzled, in large letters:
WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?
Rachel blinked a few times.
“Just…give me a little bit, okay?”
Quinn nodded. “I understand.”
The blonde waited all day. Rachel went to voice lessons and came home smiling with a mysterious box in her hand and a smile. That night, Rachel helped her dads with dinner while Quinn started work on a paper for her English class. When she was called down she sighed, not knowing if she could endure more of the silent treatment. She sat at her usual place at the Berry table and when Rachel gave a huge smile as she carefully put Quinn’s plate in front of her, the blonde almost shrieked.
On her plate, spelled out in bacon was:
YES
Ignoring the fact that Rachel’s dads were standing there with their plates, Quinn jumped out of her chair and flung her arms around Rachel’s neck, pulled her in, and kissed her. Rachel seemed to forget her dads were present as well, Quinn felt the diva’s arms encircle her waist and pull her in closer.
“Girls, can we eat?”
Quinn pulled away, not because one of the men had said something but because she was running out of oxygen.
“I’m sorry,” the blonde whispered. “I’m so sorry…I just…I couldn’t. I needed time.”
“I understand.”
Quinn glanced away from Rachel down to her plate. “Can I eat the bacon?”
“You’ll lose.”
“How about I spend the money on our date?”
“That would be satisfactory. You can also buy me more jewels. They can be found at the craft store downtown.”
“Keep it in your room.”
“It’s not my fault if you leave your possessions in there, Quinn.”
The blonde rolled her eyes and leaned in to kiss the diva again.
“So…are you two going to eat anything other than each other’s faces for dinner?”
Rachel pulled away and squeaked at her father, Quinn blushed and dropped back down to her seat.
-*-*-*-*-*-
“¡Ay dios mio! Would you two stop sucking face long enough to breathe?!” Santana growled. “God, I wish I’d never made Fabray ask you out.”
As promised to Brittany, the four were out on a double date. They were at Denny’s, in the back as per Quinn’s request, and she and Rachel hadn’t really paid any attention to Brittany and Santana.
“I don’t have to get bacon, baby,” Quinn said. “I’ll stick to the vegan thing when you’re around.”
“No, Quinn, you love bacon. It’s alright and I respect your lifestyle. Just brush your teeth afterward.”
“Well, you did Bedazzle my bra. I kind of owe you for that.”
“You left it in my room,” Rachel said with a smirk. “You know what happens to things you leave in my room.”
“I didn’t think you’d actually…”
“Hey! Weirdos! What the hell is wrong with you?! We’re here, too!”
Quinn kept her attention focused on Rachel and leaned in for yet another heated kiss.
Brittany sighed. “I kind of feel bad for Finn now. We kinda did this to him.”
“This is different. We’re actually hot. They’re just…freakish.”
“I dunno, I think they’re cute.”
“Disgustingly.”
Quinn shifted uncomfortably as one of the jewels on her bra dug into her shoulder but surprisingly, she didn’t mind. She just kept her lips on Rachel’s, intent on occupying them for as long as she could since the brunette refused to kiss her after she’d had bacon until she brushed her teeth for a full three minutes. So what if they were a match made in weird hell? They had their quirks and Quinn was fine with that.
Pairings: Rachel/Bedazzler, Quinn/Bacon, Rachel/Quinn, minor Santana/Brittany
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~5,300
Summary: Rachel and Quinn each have an obsession.
Author's Note: Posted A) because it won in an overwhelming majority in a poll I held on my Tumblr and B) because it's itsamaleduck / itsamaleduck's birthday AND she is the one that gave me the idea =) Happy birthday, bb!
When Quinn moved in with Rachel after the start of their junior year (Mercedes’ brother got expelled from college after accidentally burning down his dormitory) the blonde was a little apprehensive. Sure, she and Rachel had struck up a tentative friendship over the summer because of the brunette’s demand for weekly glee club rehearsals. Sure, Rachel wasn’t as annoying when school wasn’t in session. And yeah, she was awesome for letting Quinn move in with her. But she was still Rachel Berry and Quinn wasn’t sure how long she could last. She was out of options, though.
They got Quinn’s things moved in and Rachel gave her the grand tour of the Berry house. It was a nice house, Quinn liked it well enough. It was simple and not at all how she thought it would be thanks to the stereotypes she’d been brought up with. It was a house. Like any other house. There weren’t pride flags hanging everywhere and there wasn’t a shrine to Cher above the mantle. It was normal. That is, until Quinn stepped into Rachel’s room.
“Oh my God! Berry…did your room get into a fight with a Bedazzler?!” was the first thing that came out of Quinn’s mouth.
Literally. Everything. Bedazzled. There were tiny fake jewels on the brunette’s CD player, landline phone, cell phone, TV, iPod, elliptical, dresser, desk, nightstand, bed, bulletin board, EVERYTHING.
Rachel let out an offended squeak. “I’ll have you know that Bedazzling is a very therapeutic activity and I resent…”
Quinn tuned out the rest of Rachel’s rant and picked up a jacket (for the love of God, it was Bedazzled around all of the edges) that was on the brunette’s desk. Underneath? Her laptop. Her Bedazzled laptop.
“Good Lord! Did you just cover everything in glue and then throw rhinestones around?! Jesus, Berry!”
Rachel grabbed the jacket out of Quinn’s hands and growled. “I like my things this way.”
“You need an intervention. Where is the Bedazzler? I’m taking it away from you.”
“Not on your life!”
Quinn shook her head. “Just...Keep the rhinestones in your room, okay?”
“Fine, we have a deal. My Bedazzler will not leave this room.”
Rachel stuck out her hand and Quinn took it, sealing the promise.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Two weeks went by with no problems. Quinn actually liked living in the Berry house aside from the fact that the family had recently decided to convert to veganism. That was just unfair considering Quinn’s absolutely love for bacon. But the blonde had her ways of procuring her favorite food so it was all good.
Quinn yawned and said her goodnight to Rachel as she exited the brunette’s room. Their study session for Spanish had gone long into the night and Quinn was dead tired as she hauled herself to her room and into bed. She was too tired to ignore the nagging feeling like she’d forgotten something and instead fell into a deep sleep.
The blonde was up early the next morning searching for her things to pack in her backpack. She furrowed her eyebrows at lack of Spanish book, notebooks, and laptop but quickly remembered she’d left them in Rachel’s room. She went to the brunette’s door, it was open and there was the sound of running water coming from Rachel’s bathroom. Quinn spotted the edge of her laptop underneath a pillow that had fallen off the bed. She grabbed the computer and searched around the floor for her other things when she felt something rough against her hand. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked down at the top of her computer.
“RACHEL!!”
Her laptop had fallen victim to rhinestones. Pink rhinestones. In the pattern of a Q.
“Berry, I swear to whatever God you believe in that I am going to kill you!” Quinn dropped her laptop on the bed and stormed to the bathroom door where there was no longer the sound of running water. The door slammed the rest of the way shut, Quinn tried to turn the handle but it had been locked.
“Quinn, I suggest you calm down for a minute so we can…”
“Bull! You Bedazzled my laptop! My! Laptop! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you!”
“Quinn, please calm down!”
“No!”
“It was there! I couldn’t help it! It looked so…plain and forlorn! It needed…”
“It’s a computer! It doesn’t need anything except a virus scan and a defrag!”
“I swear it won’t happen again. I swear!”
Quinn growled and backed away from the door to search for her notebook and textbook. Luckily Rachel hadn’t gotten to them. She grabbed her things and stormed out of Rachel’s room. She tried all morning to pick the little jewels off but Rachel must’ve used some kind of unstickable glue because those little things were not coming off. Ever. Quinn left the house early and went to Denny’s, there was only one thing that could calm her nerves.
“Hey Stella,” she greeted her favorite waitress. “Can you get me like…six strips of bacon to go?”
“Sure hon, give me just a minute.”
Quinn smiled and pulled out exact change plus a two dollar tip. The exchange was made and the blonde scarfed down the bacon on the way to school.
“Quinn!” the shrill voice echoed in her ears and she growled as she spun around to see Rachel running toward her. “Quinn, where did you go this morning?! I was worried! You should inform someone of your whereabouts at all times. The possibility of scenarios…”
“I wanted to get breakfast out, I’m fine.”
“Daddy prepared veggie omelets with egg substitute. Was that not sufficient enough? Were we out of organic bagels?”
“I wanted something…else.”
Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. “Your breath is very peculiar. Very…”
“Bacon-y?”
Rachel gasped. “Quinn! How dare you!? You’ve contributed to the slaughter of an innocent animal, do you realize this? That pig could’ve had a Family! Parents, children, siblings! This is horrible!”
“Are you done now? Look, I’ve stuck to the vegan thing except for that…and a few other times.”
“A few other times?! When?!”
“I don’t know…” Quinn growled. That was untrue, actually. She could tell you that almost every other day she snuck out of school to go to Denny’s to have their French toast Grand Slam with double bacon on the side or a double bacon cheeseburger or a bacon, tomato, and lettuce sandwich…she started drooling at the thought of maybe having a bacon avocado burrito for lunch that day.
Rachel gasped again. “What, do you just go to Denny’s and eat bacon every day?”
Quinn blinked. “Uh…”
“And you think my obsession with Bedazzling is insane? You’re obsessed with bacon!”
“I am not!” Quinn swallowed hard and averted Rachel’s gaze. “I…I just…there’s…”
“At least my obsession is healthy and not artery clogging.”
“Your obsession ruined my laptop!”
“It gave your laptop character. I worked hard on that, by the way.”
Quinn growled. Her retort was cut off by the bell ringing signaling she needed to go to class so she turned on her heel and marched down the hallway. She was having a bacon avocado burrito for lunch and a side of bacon even if it killed her.
-*-*-*-*-*-
The blonde darted down the hallway when lunch came and breathed a sigh of relief when she got to the parking lot. She headed for her car and looked back at the school and chuckled but it was cut off by a clearing of the throat when she got to her car. Rachel stepped out from behind the truck next to it. Quinn groaned.
“Going somewhere?”
“None of your damn business.”
“I believe it is my business, Quinn. You see, with you living under my fathers’ roof that puts me in a position of being partially responsible for you.”
“Step away from the car, Rachel.”
“No.”
“Rachel, I’m warning you. I want a bacon avocado burrito and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
“Listen, I was thinking that perhaps we could strike up a deal. You give up bacon and I’ll give up Bedazzling.”
Quinn pursed her lips in thought for a moment. “No. Bedazzle all you want, I’ll just keep my stuff out of your room.” She got in her car and left Rachel standing in the parking lot with her arms crossed over her chest. Quinn savored the salty bacon for lunch that day.
-*-*-*-*-*-
A week later and their fight over bacon almost forgotten, Quinn stumbled back to her room after Rachel had fallen asleep in the middle of their study session for history. The blonde crawled into bed and shut her eyes after running through a list of what she’d taken into Rachel’s room and making sure she’d taken everything back with her. She smiled as she drifted off to sleep.
The next morning the blonde was frantically searching for her McKinley High sweatshirt. She ran through all of the places she could’ve had it and when she remembered wearing it the night before but taking it off in Rachel’s room because it was warm in there. The blonde panicked and ran down the hall, she didn’t bother knocking before she burst into Rachel’s room. There, neatly folded on Rachel’s desk was Quinn’s sweater. Each red letter of WMHS was outlined with red rhinestones. There was also a pencil on top of it that Quinn barely recognized as her own. It had been covered with blue jewels.
The blonde was seething. She burst into Rachel’s bathroom and the brunette squealed as she tried to cover herself with what she could reach in the shower. Quinn flung open the curtain and locked eyes with the now petrified diva.
“There is something wrong with you!”
“Me?! You’re the one bursting in on me in the shower!”
“My. Sweatshirt. My sweatshirt, Rachel! I wear that!”
“I…alright…I…at first it was for revenge on behalf of the innocent swine that have died because of your addiction to bacon but…but…I can’t stop. The pencil told me to do it.”
“You’re insane.”
Quinn shut the shower curtain and stopped dead in her tracks when she headed for the bathroom door. She was salivating…but not craving bacon. She shook her head and continued out of the bathroom, grabbed her sweatshirt and pencil, and stormed to her room. She waited for Rachel that day and instead of driving to school she went through McDonald’s drive-thru, despite Rachel’s screeching protests, and ordered a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Rachel literally tore the bag out of her hands, the sandwich went flying. The brunette clawed her way to it (Quinn came out bleeding) and she tossed the sandwich at a homeless man standing outside of the restaurant.
“Mature, Rachel! You know I haven’t had breakfast!”
Rachel pulled an apple out of her backpack. “Here,” she said, her voice full of triumph. “Have this. Apples are full of natural sugars that are shown to keep you more alert than a can of soda or a cup of coffee.”
Quinn mumbled exactly what Rachel could do with the apple as well as her Bedazzler and drove them to school. By second period her stomach was growling and she gave in and pulled the apple out of her backpack. She tossed the core in Rachel’s locker as she passed on her way to third period. The brunette shrieked a little and Quinn giggled. She double backed and grabbed the core, giving Rachel a wink as she walked away. She stopped halfway down the hall when she felt Rachel’s eyes drilling holes into the back of her head and she thought back to her actions. She’d actually winked at Rachel. She turned around, the brunette was bright red and had her lower lip tucked between her teeth. Quinn swallowed hard and turned on her heel to run away.
Quinn hated sixth period. The room was always freezing. She sighed and reluctantly grabbed her newly Bedazzled sweater out of her locker as she went to the classroom. She pulled the garment over her head and held her books over her chest as she made her way to the back of the room. When the teacher called her up to fill in the blanks for an equation on the board she groaned.
“Nice sweater, Q,” Santana snarked when the blonde returned to her seat. “Berry violate your closet with her Bedazzler?”
“I think she needs an intervention,” Quinn mumbled.
“She said the same thing about you and bacon,” Brittany said. “I think she’s right. You like…made Mercedes get it for you at three in the morning that one time.”
“I was pregnant,” the blonde hissed.
“You made me get it for you before you were pregnant,” Santana snapped. “Seriously, you put that shit on everything.”
“I do not.”
“You put it on your ice cream,” Brittany said, face scrunched in disgust.
“One time! One time to see how it tasted!”
“You’re obsessed, Fabray.” Santana shrugged. “Just get over it. Berry has her Bedazzler, you have your bacon. It’s like matches made in weird hell or something. I’m waiting for you two to somehow conceive a rhinestone clad bacon-loving spawn.”
“Rachel would never allow any of our spawn to eat bac…” Quinn trailed off and swallowed hard as Santana and Brittany stared at her.
“No fuckin’ way, Q. No way.”
“I…”
Brittany grinned. “You like Rachel!”
“Shut up,” Quinn hissed. “I do not!”
“You have the hots for Man Hands. I think I might be sick.”
Brittany squealed. “You should ask her on a date! You could go on a double date with me and San!”
“No!” Santana growled. “No, no, no. B. No. Abso-fuckin-lutely not.”
Quinn’s head was spinning as Santana and Brittany continued to bicker at each other over whether or not the foursome would go on a double date. Surely she didn’t have a crush on Rachel Berry. Surely not. There was no way.
“Fine,” Santana snapped. “They can come to the arcade and dinner but not the movie.”
“No!” Quinn hissed. “I…I don’t like her!”
“Yes you do,” Brittany said with a nod.
The bell rang and Quinn growled. “No,” she slammed her book shut, “I don’t.”
Quinn stormed out of the classroom and pulled her shirt off. She furrowed her eyebrows at the familiar yet unfamiliar scent. She inhaled a few more times before realizing it was Rachel’s room. She smiled a little before she shook her head and threw the sweatshirt into her locker.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Ten days and thirteen Bedazzled items later, Quinn was absolutely certain that Rachel needed an intervention.
Her bag she used for gym clothes (left it in the laundry room), favorite pair of socks (still not sure), three pens (left them in Rachel’s room at various times), her calculator (forgot it in the library), two headbands (one of which she knows she left in the choir room, not Rachel’s room), the cup she normally used at dinner (she really didn’t think the brunette would do it so she left it in Rachel’s room), her iPod headphones (yes, it was possible), her camera (which she distinctly remembered leaving in the kitchen; there was almost a bloodbath over that one), her school ID (she left it in the cafeteria and made the mistake of mentioning it to Rachel), and one of the cases to a mixed CD she let Rachel listen to (she should’ve known better).
All of these items were now home to several hundred (if not several thousand) little jewels. And each time Quinn found one of these items she…well, she didn’t do much of anything beyond yelling at the brunette. She’d just sneak out the next day and go to Denny’s and have a few strips of bacon. Rachel could always tell and she’d launch into a lecture on why bacon was unhealthy. Quinn would tune her out. Well, she thought she tuned her out. When Santana started in on Quinn at lunch one day the blonde realized she’d actually kind of soaked up the information.
“Q, you know bacon is…”
“Bad for my health. The grease isn’t conducive to proper and healthy skincare, the fats could clog my arteries and the innocent pigs that die at my hand are…”
“Shut up. You’ve been listening to Treasure Trail too much.”
Quinn growled. “I have not.”
“Fucking ask her out already, okay? B won’t stop bothering me about it.”
“No.”
-*-*-*-*-*-
When Quinn found her iPod covered in rhinestones that was it. For the eleventh time, she stormed into Rachel’s bathroom and yanked the curtain back, the brunette simply turned to face her and sighed.
“You left it in my docking station,” Rachel said.
“This is out of control, Berry. You need help.”
“As do you, my swine ingesting friend.”
“Fine. You want a deal? You stop Bedazzling and I’ll stop eating bacon. There? Happy? It’s what you wanted. And to top it all off, I say we put a $100 bet on it.”
Rachel beamed. “Good.”
“You have to give me the Bedazzler.”
“I’ll give it to my dads, neutral ground. Now, how am I going to be assured that you cease eating bacon?”
It was only then that Quinn realized she was having a full on conversation with one extremely naked and soaking wet Rachel Berry. And again, she was salivating. Just like she had all the other times. Only this time there wasn’t bacon on the horizon. All the other times she could blame it on knowing she was going to have bacon. This time she couldn’t.
“Quinn?”
“We should…have this conversation later. When you’re…when you have clothes on.”
“You’ve never seemed to mind before.”
“I have to go.” Quinn shut the curtain and left the bathroom to take her own shower. A very cold shower.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Day 1
Quinn strolled into school, a smile on her face, after having handed over Rachel’s three Bedazzlers and entire stock of jewels to the brunette’s fathers who looked almost relieved at the deal that had been struck up. Rachel stated that she would have spies on her payroll to watch Quinn’s every move to ensure she didn’t sneak any bacon. Quinn knew it would be easy, she could go without it. No problems. Until lunch.
One of the lunch items that day was breakfast. Scrambled eggs and bacon. Quinn knew it the second she stepped into the cafeteria. Normally she’d shell out a few extra quarters for several extra bacon strips but today, she felt eyes on her. She growled as she picked up a salad, an orange, and a bottle of water. She felt eyes on her again as she sat with Brittany and Santana and looked at the packet of bacon bits that were inside the salad container. She threw the packet at the general direction of Jacob Ben Israel who had his eyes locked on her. He nodded.
“Are you feeling okay, Q?” Santana actually looked worried. “Usually you bribe the cafeteria ladies to put the rest of their bacon stock on your tray.”
“I cut a deal with Rachel. She stops Bedazzling everything in sight, I quit bacon. And I put a $100 bet on it.”
Brittany gasped. Santana snorted.
“I give you three days,” the Latina said, taking a healthy bite of her carrot stick. “You ask her out yet?”
“I don’t like her,” Quinn mumbled.
“Whatever. Denial.”
Day 2
Just to tease the diva, Quinn left everything she could quite possibly think of in Rachel’s room that night. When she went to retrieve the items in the morning there was not one jewel to be found which ruled out Quinn’s theory that Rachel was hiding an extra Bedazzler somewhere. She smirked as she listened to Rachel belt out “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” in the shower. Except "diamonds" was replaced with "rhinestones".
Lunch was easier that day, there was no bacon on the menu. Quinn was perfectly fine until she caught a faint whiff of salty pork. She searched the cafeteria until she found its source. Finn had a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.
“Where did you get that?” Quinn gripped onto the boy’s shoulder.
Finn shrugged. “I guess my mom made it. I thought she made turkey but this is so much better!”
Quinn growled and turned around, she saw Rachel drop a bag with a sandwich in it into the trashcan just as the brunette exited the cafeteria. This was war.
Quinn searched the Berry house high and low when she got home from school that afternoon while Rachel was at ballet club and finally found one of the Bedazzlers in a desk drawer in the den. She took it plus a small bag of jewels and dropped them in her backpack. That night, when Rachel went to get a bottle of water while they were studying, Quinn put the Bedazzler and jewels underneath Rachel’s pillow. She again left all of her things in Rachel’s room that night.
Day 3
Quinn furrowed her eyebrows in her sleep, knowing someone was watching her. She rolled over and slowly opened one eye to see Rachel standing over her, Bedazzler in one hand and jewels in the other.
“You’re sick,” the brunette spat.
“You planted a BLT in the cafeteria yesterday. Who’s the sick one?”
“This is war, Fabray.”
“Bring it on.”
When Quinn got in from hanging out with Brittany and Santana that night she went to her room to find a plate full of bacon in the middle of her bed. She clenched her jaw shut and grabbed the plate. Her feet took her down the hall to Rachel’s room, she didn’t knock before she burst in. The diva was sitting on her bed with a smirk. Quinn tossed the plate at her, bacon landing all over the brunette.
“Quinn!”
“It’s on.”
Rachel growled. “I’ll count the strips, you know.”
“Go ahead.”
Quinn kept her eyes locked on Rachel as the brunette stood up and retrieved the bacon strips. She put them all back on the plate and let out a huff.
“Fine, they’re all there.”
“I told you.”
Rachel marched up to the blonde and squinted at her, searching for a lie somewhere. Quinn felt her lungs stop working as the intensity from the brunette radiated from her. Rachel’s look softened as her tongue darted out to moisten her lips and she leaned up a little. Quinn swallowed hard and just as Rachel’s lips brushed against hers she turned away.
“I have to go.”
“Quinn…”
Quinn heard her name again as she exited Rachel’s bedroom but she kept going. She couldn’t have a crush on Rachel…except that she really, really wanted to kiss her. And if she was honest with herself, it wasn’t the first time she wanted it to happen.
Day 4
Despite what had transpired the night before, Quinn was still determined to win that damn bet. At three in the morning, the blonde snuck out of her room and down the hall. She quietly slipped into Rachel’s room and grabbed the girl’s laptop, cell phone, and CD player and tip-toed back to her room. She took out the solvent she’d found in the Berry’s basement and a credit card and went to work.
At seven in the morning she awoke to a loud shriek and heard thundering footsteps coming right to her door. She sat up quickly and plastered on an innocent smile just as her door flung open.
“You’re cruel! This is cruel!” Rachel held up her now un-Bedazzled laptop. “How dare you?! And this!!” She held up her cell phone, once covered, now had random empty spots, some of which were taken out of the letter “R” that had been on it.
Quinn smirked. “Give up yet?”
Rachel’s look was deeper than hurt over a few missing jewels, Quinn saw.
“Never,” the brunette snarled.
When school let out, Rachel was nowhere to be found. Quinn searched the hallways and grumbled under her breath about missing her favorite Food Network programs. She heard sniffling coming from the choir room as she passed by and she looked in, Rachel was sitting on the risers staring at her phone, Finn next to her.
“I can’t believe she did this,” the brunette mumbled.
“Well…you did kind of taunt her with bacon in the middle of her bed.”
“But my phone is now…just…look at it! And my CD player is now asymmetrical! I had perfectly arranged symmetrical patterns on it and now…now it just looks like some novice with a tube of super glue and some rhinestones had their way with it!”
“Is this another one of those chick things where you’re really pissed about something else? Because…like…it’s just a bunch of plastic jewels. I don’t really get it.”
“It’s something I love!” the diva shrieked.
“Uh…”
“You’ll never understand. It…it’s like she doesn’t even care!”
“So…you want her to care?”
Quinn saw the confused look on Finn’s face as he tried to decipher Rachel’s words.
“Of course I want her to care! I want to know she has the capacity to take care of fragile things.”
“Uh…okay. Why…”
“Boys,” Rachel grumbled. "This is why we didn't work, Finn." She shoved her phone in her pocket and Quinn panicked when Rachel stood up and started heading toward the door.
Finn sighed. "Ouch."
Quinn stepped back and plastered herself against the wall next to the door, praying Rachel didn’t look around when she exited. The brunette made it five steps away from the door before she stopped and turned.
“How much of that did you hear?” Rachel asked with a sniffle.
“Uh…”
“I can understand dangling the Bedazzler in front of me but destroying something I thought was safe is an entirely different matter, Quinn.”
“Why do I have a feeling you’re not talking about the Bedazzler?” Quinn sighed.
“Well,” Rachel straightened up her shoulders, “at least you’re smarter than Finn.”
Day 5
Quinn was so depressed she couldn’t even think about bacon. Rachel hadn’t spoken to her since their confrontation outside of the choir room. The ride home had been silent. All night had been silent as had all morning. At lunch she picked at her tuna salad sandwich but finally pushed her tray away.
“What’s gotten into you?” Santana asked, eyebrow arched.
“Nothing.”
“How’s the bet with RuPaul going?”
“Stop calling her that!” Quinn snapped. “She’s Rachel, okay?!”
“Ask her out, Q.”
“Stop it, Santana.”
“No. You like her. God, everyone sees it but you! Ask her out or I’m going to tell JewFro he’s got an opening.”
Quinn growled.
Day 6
Quinn stared at her clock. It was two in the morning. Rachel still wasn’t speaking to her. She sighed as Santana’s words echoed through her head and the blonde gave up. She had a crush on Rachel. She really, really, really liked Rachel. She wanted her, period.
The blonde jumped out of bed and silently went down the stairs and into the Berry’s den. She grabbed the Bedazzler and bag of jewels out of the desk drawer, went to the linen closet and grabbed a sheet, and went back to her room to start working. The contraption took a little getting used to but once Quinn got the hang of it, it was pretty good. Nothing like what Rachel could do, the blonde thought, but it would suffice.
Quinn re-folded the sheet and dozed off until the smell of coffee woke her. She was glad it was a Saturday, she was definitely going to need a nap later. Well, if Rachel allowed it. The blonde wasn’t sure what was going to happen. She rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and make herself look somewhat presentable. She grabbed the sheet off of her bed and went to Rachel’s room, the sound of music through her iPod docking station signaled that the brunette was probably on the elliptical. Quinn threw open the door and tossed the sheet on Rachel’s bed.
“What the hell is this, Rachel?!”
Rachel jumped a little and stopped to stare at the blonde. “What?”
“What?! Are you kidding me?! Look at that!”
“Quinn, I have no idea…”
“Really? You’re kidding me, right?”
Rachel jumped off the machine and grabbed onto the sheet and ran her fingers over a few jewels. “Quinn, I swear! This is a bedsheet, why would I Bedazzle a bedsheet?”
Frustrated, Quinn yanked the sheet out of Rachel’s hands and unfolded it, spreading it out on the diva’s bed. She smirked as Rachel looked down and furrowed her eyebrows.
“Well?” Quinn crossed her arms over her chest and glanced down at the sheet where she’d Bedazzled, in large letters:
WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?
Rachel blinked a few times.
“Just…give me a little bit, okay?”
Quinn nodded. “I understand.”
The blonde waited all day. Rachel went to voice lessons and came home smiling with a mysterious box in her hand and a smile. That night, Rachel helped her dads with dinner while Quinn started work on a paper for her English class. When she was called down she sighed, not knowing if she could endure more of the silent treatment. She sat at her usual place at the Berry table and when Rachel gave a huge smile as she carefully put Quinn’s plate in front of her, the blonde almost shrieked.
On her plate, spelled out in bacon was:
YES
Ignoring the fact that Rachel’s dads were standing there with their plates, Quinn jumped out of her chair and flung her arms around Rachel’s neck, pulled her in, and kissed her. Rachel seemed to forget her dads were present as well, Quinn felt the diva’s arms encircle her waist and pull her in closer.
“Girls, can we eat?”
Quinn pulled away, not because one of the men had said something but because she was running out of oxygen.
“I’m sorry,” the blonde whispered. “I’m so sorry…I just…I couldn’t. I needed time.”
“I understand.”
Quinn glanced away from Rachel down to her plate. “Can I eat the bacon?”
“You’ll lose.”
“How about I spend the money on our date?”
“That would be satisfactory. You can also buy me more jewels. They can be found at the craft store downtown.”
“Keep it in your room.”
“It’s not my fault if you leave your possessions in there, Quinn.”
The blonde rolled her eyes and leaned in to kiss the diva again.
“So…are you two going to eat anything other than each other’s faces for dinner?”
Rachel pulled away and squeaked at her father, Quinn blushed and dropped back down to her seat.
-*-*-*-*-*-
“¡Ay dios mio! Would you two stop sucking face long enough to breathe?!” Santana growled. “God, I wish I’d never made Fabray ask you out.”
As promised to Brittany, the four were out on a double date. They were at Denny’s, in the back as per Quinn’s request, and she and Rachel hadn’t really paid any attention to Brittany and Santana.
“I don’t have to get bacon, baby,” Quinn said. “I’ll stick to the vegan thing when you’re around.”
“No, Quinn, you love bacon. It’s alright and I respect your lifestyle. Just brush your teeth afterward.”
“Well, you did Bedazzle my bra. I kind of owe you for that.”
“You left it in my room,” Rachel said with a smirk. “You know what happens to things you leave in my room.”
“I didn’t think you’d actually…”
“Hey! Weirdos! What the hell is wrong with you?! We’re here, too!”
Quinn kept her attention focused on Rachel and leaned in for yet another heated kiss.
Brittany sighed. “I kind of feel bad for Finn now. We kinda did this to him.”
“This is different. We’re actually hot. They’re just…freakish.”
“I dunno, I think they’re cute.”
“Disgustingly.”
Quinn shifted uncomfortably as one of the jewels on her bra dug into her shoulder but surprisingly, she didn’t mind. She just kept her lips on Rachel’s, intent on occupying them for as long as she could since the brunette refused to kiss her after she’d had bacon until she brushed her teeth for a full three minutes. So what if they were a match made in weird hell? They had their quirks and Quinn was fine with that.