(no subject)
we went to see our friends' house today - they're in the middle of building it. by themselves. by hand. while working full-time. crazy awesome. anyway. i was talking to logan on the way, since we haven't been to see it for at least a month, "how much to you think they'll have gotten done?", and he says "the whole house will be done. i just KNOW it!". so cute.
and it looks great. but it gets me down to think that i'm 33, with two kids, and rather than having firm roots somewhere and a support-system, friends and families and babysitting co-ops and gardens and happenings and exchanges... i'm basically starting completely over from scratch, AND trying to figure out if this is even where i want to be. this was the problem with making the easy retreat to maine. it wasn't where i really wanted to be. but i couldn't afford to go where i wanted, and i had to do the easy fast cheap thing instead.
so now i have to decide whether to make a go of it here, and for how long, or if i can get out of here... and exactly how i would do that i have no idea.
i guess even before all that, the very first thing i have to figure out is how to support us once the money runs out in a few weeks.
and it looks great. but it gets me down to think that i'm 33, with two kids, and rather than having firm roots somewhere and a support-system, friends and families and babysitting co-ops and gardens and happenings and exchanges... i'm basically starting completely over from scratch, AND trying to figure out if this is even where i want to be. this was the problem with making the easy retreat to maine. it wasn't where i really wanted to be. but i couldn't afford to go where i wanted, and i had to do the easy fast cheap thing instead.
so now i have to decide whether to make a go of it here, and for how long, or if i can get out of here... and exactly how i would do that i have no idea.
i guess even before all that, the very first thing i have to figure out is how to support us once the money runs out in a few weeks.