Friends Cut thing

Mar 09, 2009 19:51


I usually announce here when I do one of those general sweeping cuts of my friendslist, partly to create a space where people can discuss that cut - though obviously people rarely do, but mostly as a open Dear John letter, that generally means 'It's not you, it's me'; 400 total blogs,.including journals communities and outside feeds is a lot, and I end up not being thorough with my reading because I end up skipping.

So journals with which I engage little are removed so I can keep up involvement with the journals I do read: and that's the key point and why this post is going to skirt dangerously close to passive aggressive snide bitching, as I do come out and say one thing that has this time, in the past, and consistently will get me to stop reading a journal or blog - and that's about comments.

Let's say, hypothetically, you say something I disagree with; anything from feminists don't know what they're talking about to flying dinosaurs were called pterosaurs. I see something like that, and I'm compelled - in some ways I feel I have a responsibility, to explanio why I disagree and correct those factual errors I can see. Hopefully then discussion results; I can better understand your viewpoint, you can compare with mine. It might not be pretty, but it will be useful.

If I don't feel welcome commenting on your blog like that, it's usually best for me not to read this.

This isn't about communities such as debunkingwhite, from which I genuinely benefit just by shutting up and listening, nor even about personal journals detailing experiences I can't realte to, only learn from. It's about a subsets in the virtual environment in which, if I post, I'll be personally attacked, or accused of making a personal attack. It's about knowing that any attempt to engage will be met with defensiveness and a refusal to engage. It's about discussions on one journal being followed up by posts on someone else's journal with commentary like "I wish people would stop saying [direct quote from the Brat], because it's just wrong". This is stressful to me, and when I see posts I want to talk about, knowing my attempts to talk about them will result in hostility, it causes anxiety.

This isn't me telling people what to post  about in their space, but I view my friends page not as a series of windows into people's virtual space, but as doors. And if I know I'm not welcome behind those particular doors, I'm not going to want constant reminders of this.

I said before, and I stand by it:

If I didn't respect you enough to call you out on your shit, I wouldn't be listening to it in the first place.

Unfortunately, that means occasionally making sure I don't have journals like that on my reading list.

NB: this is a very small number the journals  I cut at any one time, most of which are just gone for disparate interests. That's all. Also I apologise for sounding like a total bitch, I'm having a tough time in my personal life and all tact has gone. That indeed is all me.

livejournal

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