On sex and stuff. But mostly on words and how one defines oneself.
There's a bit of a meme kick going round in which bi folk talk about being bi.
I like people. Sometimes I like male people more than female people. Sometimes not. Because I like female people, and because I am in a relationship with a woman, I have a tendency to call myself 'gay' and 'lesbian'. I don't know why, really, but I don't like the word 'bisexual' any more. It seems... I just don't like it. So I call myself other things, which sometimes confuse people. I should really drop out of it, but why should I bother? I'm in a relationship with a woman. What does it matter who I'd be dating if I wasn't dating her?
OK, I will drop out of the habit. I am a Gynophallophile. OK?
I've met a number of people who assume that bisexuality and polyamory are interchangeable terms. Now, I have bi, poly, and bi-and-poly people on my flist here, as well as monogamous, and monosexual personages. This is fine and good. Yay you. But past experimentation notwithstanding, I am a monogamous gynophallophile. so when I get a conversation like this:
"Why don't you snog that fit bloke?"
"Because I have a girlfriend."
"But you're bi!"
I get kind of defensive. So I shed the word 'bi' because it has that implication. When I'm in a relationship with a man, I'm straight. When I'm with a woman, I'm gay. Because otherwise people think I'm available when I'm not, dammit.
So yes, it has negative connotations it shouldn't, and I'm sort of kind of perpetuating those negative connotations by not using it, but - and here imagine I've taking on a particularly petulant tone - I don't want to!!. So there.
I also get annoyed when I see people - especially social scientists and reporters - talking about 'men and lesbians' and 'women and gay men', to talk about people who are attracted one one sex or the other. Bah, I say to them. This is why I invented the words 'gynophile' and 'phallophile', and more people should use, them, say I.
While we're on the subject of words, you notice how I haven't used 'gender' at all in this post? There's a reason for that. I'm talking about sexuality. What sex I'm attracted to, which is both. I haven't gone into gender, because gender really doesn't matter. And if you don't understand the difference, think of it this way:
'Sex' is a binary, biological construct. In humans, even most 'hermaphrodites' (and why shouldn't I use a word rooted in the names of two hot gods?) can be assigned one or t'other.
'Gender' is a total social construct that describes a person's job and/or role in society. It's almost completely fluid.
See the difference?
OK, in conclusion:
Words wot I invented that I want you all to use more
Monosexual: attracted to only one sex.
Gynophile: someone of either sex attracted to females
Phallophile: someone of either sex attracted to males.
Gynophallophile: someone of either sex attracted to people of both sexes.
Um... you can keep pansexual. I like that word.
I like people. Sometimes I like male people more than female people. Sometimes not. Because I like female people, and because I am in a relationship with a woman, I have a tendency to call myself 'gay' and 'lesbian'. I don't know why, really, but I don't like the word 'bisexual' any more. It seems... I just don't like it. So I call myself other things, which sometimes confuse people. I should really drop out of it, but why should I bother? I'm in a relationship with a woman. What does it matter who I'd be dating if I wasn't dating her?
OK, I will drop out of the habit. I am a Gynophallophile. OK?
I've met a number of people who assume that bisexuality and polyamory are interchangeable terms. Now, I have bi, poly, and bi-and-poly people on my flist here, as well as monogamous, and monosexual personages. This is fine and good. Yay you. But past experimentation notwithstanding, I am a monogamous gynophallophile. so when I get a conversation like this:
"Why don't you snog that fit bloke?"
"Because I have a girlfriend."
"But you're bi!"
I get kind of defensive. So I shed the word 'bi' because it has that implication. When I'm in a relationship with a man, I'm straight. When I'm with a woman, I'm gay. Because otherwise people think I'm available when I'm not, dammit.
So yes, it has negative connotations it shouldn't, and I'm sort of kind of perpetuating those negative connotations by not using it, but - and here imagine I've taking on a particularly petulant tone - I don't want to!!. So there.
I also get annoyed when I see people - especially social scientists and reporters - talking about 'men and lesbians' and 'women and gay men', to talk about people who are attracted one one sex or the other. Bah, I say to them. This is why I invented the words 'gynophile' and 'phallophile', and more people should use, them, say I.
While we're on the subject of words, you notice how I haven't used 'gender' at all in this post? There's a reason for that. I'm talking about sexuality. What sex I'm attracted to, which is both. I haven't gone into gender, because gender really doesn't matter. And if you don't understand the difference, think of it this way:
'Sex' is a binary, biological construct. In humans, even most 'hermaphrodites' (and why shouldn't I use a word rooted in the names of two hot gods?) can be assigned one or t'other.
'Gender' is a total social construct that describes a person's job and/or role in society. It's almost completely fluid.
See the difference?
OK, in conclusion:
Words wot I invented that I want you all to use more
Monosexual: attracted to only one sex.
Gynophile: someone of either sex attracted to females
Phallophile: someone of either sex attracted to males.
Gynophallophile: someone of either sex attracted to people of both sexes.
Um... you can keep pansexual. I like that word.