(no subject)
Your Name/Alias: Magda
Age: 17
Character: Ned Bigby
Series: Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide
Character Age: 14
Canon: Ned's Declassified is like a cartoon, only the actors happen to be real people. Explosions? A weasel as the student council president? Sentient lunches? Delicious meta? Wacky hammerspace costume changes and idea lightbulbs? WE GOT 'EM.
The main character (and usually the cause of aforementioned happy fun time antics) is Ned Bigby, an eighth grader known for creating The Guide, a notebook where he writes tips on how to survive middle school. Ned does his best to share these pointers with his fellow schoolmates, though usually the only one who needs to learn the lesson is Ned himself. Despite being a little paranoid, flail-y, capslock-y and lazy, Ned is a genuine friend who will do whatever he can to help his fellow man. Preferably through the use of breaking and entering and/or wacky shenanigans.
Sample Post:
NED’S DECLASSIFIED CAMP SURVIVAL GUIDE
In a summer camp full of zombies, insane counselors, and gross Tuesday lunches -- No, that's totally lame. One, there's still the very slim possibility that this is just the worst cold pizza induced dream ever, and two, the zombies are the lamest things here! I mean, besides the Tuesday soup. Come on. I'm not going to waste my time writing about zombies or stupid cafeteria food clichés when there's a volcano and a kraken and an underwear tree just begging to be tip'd! AN UNDERWEAR TREE. Great plant, or greatest plant?
...Also, those sparkles are the anti-manly. I wanted flames or lasers or something! That malfunctioning HTML is karma, right? I should be putting this in the original Guide, not some dumb laptop, however shiny and amazing said laptop may be. I'll... I'll write some tips out on paper in a minute. First, I need to beat Don't Shoot the Puppy. Bounce faster, puppy! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.
Insanely distracting web games aside, I don't know if I'm actually ready to write tips about this place. I've only been here for about three hours, and I spent most of them either running or cowering. I definitely need to do some research first, especially on that underwear tree. Do the boxers come off warm? If you leave a pair up for too long, to they over-ripen and end up as size XXL, or do they just fall to the ground and sprout little baby underwear trees? I must know! Science must know!
-- That's it. Enough hiding! I'm goin' out there. I found a mop in the cabin closet earlier and I'm a pretty fast runner. NED BIGBY FEARS NO ZOMBIES. I won't let being temporarily stranded in some crazy haunted summer camp in the middle of winter keep me from having fun! I have to create wacky hijinks and catapult things into the lake and get free silk boxers from a magical plant! IT'S IN MY BLOOD.
Laptop, Guide, you guys stay here where it's safe. Mop? Let's get dangerous.
Voting went down here. 98.3% ahahaha what