"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."

[justbeingaqueen]

Who: justbeingaqueen and woman_or_a_girl
What: A priceless gift
Where: Maternity Unit, Portland Hospital, London
When: About 12 hours after THISKurt knew that this was what euphoria felt like. He had felt it once before in his life, and that was on his wedding day. This time, however, it was coupled with absolute awe, shock, and a dazed feeling of trying to catch his feet after

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[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt laughed softly and even though he knew Quinn had a secure hold on his daughter, he was still reflexively fussing with the folds of her blanket to make sure it was neat and smooth tucked in around her. "Now that is definitely not something that would have been predicted in the yearbook. I'm pretty sure there would have been more likelihood that I knocked Blaine up than that. Just like my loving brother said to me earlier when he saw her, 'Dude, all I can think of now is you jizzing in a cup'. What am I surrounded by, seriously? That was months ago, but suddenly it's very real that Kurt Hummel is capable of baby-making," he joked and stroked the top of the receiving blanket. "She's just so content. She's hardly cried. She's not a fan of being unwrapped. She let everyone know of that one earlier when they wanted to check her little reflexes. Our little princess is a lady."

"All worth it? Seriously? I swear that had to have been the longest labour ever. It's never like that in the movies. Even if Blaine was like a comedy routine with his first sight of the blood. I swear, I told him not to look! He thought it really was going to be like a sitcom where the baby pops out all neat and clean wrapped up nicely from the get-go. By that point, I was pretty convinced there was no baby coming out of there. Like, they got it all wrong and it had been some huge mistake all along," he admitted with a shake of his head. "You can talk yourself into the stupidest things when you're freaking out. I know the whole thing wasn't easy, and none of us really knew how to best cope with it when it was all happening, but there is absolutely no way I could have anticipated how I would feel when it finally happened. I've never felt this sort of happiness. I can't stop smiling, I can't stop looking at her or touching her. I just... I can't believe I did this... me. Part of me turned into her. How the hell...?"

He took a little pink velvet box out of his pocket and held it up. "We got this for you. It probably seems sort of crazy, because we didn't know what she was, but we had picked a girl's name really early on, no boy's names ever really stuck with us. We were shopping one day and saw this in a hand-crafted jewellery store. We just bought it on the chance we might have had a girl. It's strange, it's like, deep down, she always felt like a girl to me. But anyway..." He held the box out to Quinn, which contained the beautiful bracelet for her to have to honour what she had given them.

[woman_or_a_girl]

It hit Quinn suddenly just how tiny the baby was as she made sure that she was safely tucked into her arm. "You felt so much bigger coming out," she said, smiling through the flood of tears. Shaking her head with a fond eyeroll at Finn's assessment of the situation, Quinn turned the warmth of her smile up to Kurt's face for a moment, said smile only widening when she realized that he had never taken his eyes off of Kyra-Belle. "Leave it to Finn. But you are, darling. And God, not only capable of making a baby, but capable of slotting right into being a daddy... I think you were born for it. I really do. You thought once upon a time that you probably would never be a dad, but here you are, owning it, and rocking it amazingly. She's so beautiful, Kurt." Choked up for just a moment, Quinn was silent, listening as Kurt told her about his daughter's little personality, already developing. "As if she could be anything but a lady with our DNA," she teased, giving Kurt's hand a warm squeeze with her free one before bringing it under the baby to pat her little bum softly.

"All worth it," Quinn confirmed. "Every last second of it was worth it, and if I had it to do all over, I would. I wouldn't have changed a thing, sweetheart. You and Blaine trusted me enough to let me bring your baby into the world, and that's... That's an honor that I will never ever forget... Especially not now that I'm moving to London so I can watch this little one grow up with all the love of two amazing daddies and more aunties and uncles than you can shake a stick at. Even if I was relatively sure I was giving birth to the spawn of Dumbo for a few hours there, instead of the tiny daughter of a svelte gay bitch." Seriously, there was a ridiculous amount of emotion going on right now, and Quinn was seriously going to need all this crying to stop. Still, at least she was crying for happy reasons and not sad ones.

Quinn nuzzled her nose gently against the tiny face, whispering soft words of love to the precious addition to the big, crazy extended family that, while by no means traditional, was family just the same. But she looked up as Kurt presented her with the box, smiling down at the baby girl when he told her that they'd never come up with a boy name to their liking. "Kyra-Belle, darling, you're lucky you weren't a boy... Your name would still be Baby Hummel-Anderson," she told her before taking the box from Kurt and opening it with a soft gasp. "Kurt, sweetheart, it's... It's beautiful... Thank you so much." She would wear it with pride and honor. Because she had no doubt, looking down at the baby's face, that this would always be the greatest thing she had ever been a part of.

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt, too, was awed by how tiny their daughter was, but it was just another facet to indicate to him that despite thinking they were prepared for this... they weren't. There was no amount of anticipating or preparation that could be enough to cover the experience of having your first child and not having any clue about children or babies prior. Kurt had been around kids, but it was just a whole other ball game knowing that you were the reason their little life had come to exist, and now you were the one who were going to teach them and protect them and cuddle them when things felt bad. He started to tear up again at these thoughts and gave a little wave of his hand before he fanned at his face and dug some tissues from his pocket he was forced to carry around with because of the bursts of happy tears that kept hitting him and Blaine. He patted at his eyes with the Kleenex and let out a sigh at his own emotions as he looked down at his daughter again, caressing the blanket again.

"I was just scared, you know? I can see that now, but not so much at the time. It was just easier to tell myself I would suck at it rather than trying to fathom not sucking at it. I know that doesn't make sense. It's just... I spent my whole life never thinking I would have this, so I never anticipated it, never got to the point I would hope for it. Blaine and me were so happy and content. We had everything we hoped for, and we had it together. We literally had a perfect relationship and perfect life. All this... it's like... not even the icing on the cake or winning the lottery. It's so, so much more. It's nothing I ever thought I could have, but suddenly this tiny little perfect person is here, and it's like I can never, ever imagine my life without her again. I want to be there for every minute with her, I want to change her diapers, and I want to feed her, and watch her smile, and walk, and play music to her, and buy her princess dresses, and go to the park and feed the ducks with her. And that just blows my mind. I don't know anything about babies, or being a dad, but there's something in me I didn't know I was there and it just... I'm not scared. I'm nervous and excited, but I'm not scared. I put my heart and soul into everything I do to make sure I do it the best I can. But this? It's like I haven't had to do anything yet, and somehow, she's the best thing I have ever, ever done."

He had to let out another shaky breath then, because he was just a big huge ball of ecstatic emotion and sometimes the enormity of the whole thing smacked him in the face all over again. He tucked his finger in under Kyra-Belle's tiny hand and her whole fist barely even covered half his index finger. She had perfect little finger nails and Finn has such a point, how did jerking off into a plastic cup turn into this? He met Quinn's gaze, catching his lower lip between his teeth. "We actually have a proposition for you. But you need to hear me out before you just straight up say it's unnecessary."

[woman_or_a_girl]

Quinn shook her head firmly at Kurt. "No, no, no, no crying, honey... How is a loving and hormonal fag hag supposed to keep from crying when her fag is doing it in bucketloads?" she asked, but her tone was loving, even as her tears streaked her cheeks again. "Okay fine," she continued teasingly. "Keep crying, but your baby mama wants tissues with lotion." It was gorgeous. Kurt literally couldn't stop touching his daughter, fussing over her, being beautiful and affectionate with her, and making Quinn just cry even more. "I think I'm still wrapping my mind around this whole thing... Around you and Blaine really being daddies, and the fact that she's so gorgeous and she looks just like you." The sheer warmth and beauty in the whole scene was touching, and Quinn would always be grateful that this had all come about. That her fag and his husband would be raising this beautiful little person together. That Blaine would be able to look at his daughter and see his husband, and that Kurt would see his own features in this beautiful tiny person that was a part, not only of her and him, but a part of all of them. She would carry little quirks learned from both of her daddies, not to mention her uncles and aunties. Quinn believed with all her heart the old adage about it taking a village to raise a child, and their little village of friends would be a wonderful place for Kyra-Belle to grow up, surrounded by love and respect and protection.

Looking up at Kurt, Quinn felt certain her heart was going to burst from the overload of feelings associated with this whole thing. "I... I look at her and all I can think is what a beautiful world we live in. All those years in high school, when you were being mistreated for being different, and people were hating on you... And all the people who went before you. All the gay couples who wanted families, but couldn't have them because of idiotic laws and hate and misunderstanding. But the world is changing and getting better every day, and here you are, with your very own baby girl to love and raise with Blaine, and it's just..." She ended up just stopping right there, overcome with emotion, and short on words. It was true, though. And Quinn had high hopes that the world would continue to change for the better in that way.

Quinn didn't say anything. She just gave Kurt a questioning raise of her eyebrows. She wasn't sure exactly what he was getting at, but she wasn't going to stop him until she'd heard it out. Her hand resting on the baby's blanket, she waited patiently, wiping at her eyes.

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt got up to go and collected the new box of tissues with lotion from the modern dresser by the window. The room was more like a hotel room than a hospital room, very beautifully decorated with light wood and pastels, giving a tranquil environment for post-natal care. Quinn had the TV, her laptop with internet access, anything she could need to rest and relax in the wake of the birth, even if her hands-on job was done. She was going to be expressing milk for the baby until they could transition her to formula, but that was mostly it. Before now, Kurt had been indifferent to the breast-feeding versus bottle thing. There had been an agreement that if the baby was born with any medical issue, Quinn would breast-feed, but if she was healthy, they would stick to bottle so Kurt and Blaine could have that avenue of bonding. Now Kurt was relieved at their choice, because he had discovered that feeding her was a massive important part of this for him. There was something intimately beautiful to share with their baby daughter, and she was adorable to watch whilst she fed. He was still trying to find his feet with it, and it all felt very foreign but the maternity staff were just excellent and Kurt and Blaine were both taking all the coaching and teaching in down to every fine detail.

"I think I just really, really need a good sleep. I've lost count of how many hours I've been awake. It's just so hard for us to leave her even just briefly. I'm starting to feel the exhausted pinch now. She's such a good little baby. She's so content. They all keep saying how lucky were are and not to count our chicken's," he laughed, knowing they were right. They might get her home and discover her to be an epic wailer. "The biological thing, it seemed so huge but now it's just a given. Whether she was made by me or Blaine, she's still both of ours. I look at him holding her, and my heart feels like it is literally going to explode from happiness. All those evil homophobic bastards can go screw themselves, because look at her. How can anything be termed wrong? She's perfect, she's healthy, she couldn't be more loved or wanted. She's never going to want for anything," he vowed, his voice choking up with emotion and he needed to pause for a moment to collect himself.

[justbeingaqueen]

"I know this wasn't one of those freakishly cold surrogacies where it is all about money and buying babies and stuff. It was far from that, and we know you don't want any money for any of this. You were happy to just have the medical expenses all covered, and that's fine. They are. But... we know that all this probably isn't as cut and dry and we all initially thought, and that any notion of you just hand Kyra-Belle over to us and walking back to your life as it stood isn't even on the cards. We know that you have your book to write, and that was always part of the plan, but beyond that and beyond this, you didn't really know what was coming next. It was impossible to know how anyone would feel after all of this, and I think right now everyone just feels like, well, that we all want to be close. So, we just wanted to tell you that you're welcome to stay with us as long as you like, as long as you need. I know you won't be hands-on in raising her or anything, but you're more than welcome to be roomies with us. But, um, we also want to give you something. Cash. But... not to pay for Kyra-Belle, not in any sense. We want you to be here in London and part of her life. From right now. We want to help you get set up with a place of your own really nearby and then to be able to take whatever time you need to write your book, and be part of things while she's all new and will have a whole lot of firsts happening. We want you to be there with us to share those things as much as you can. There is no way we can ever thank you enough for giving her to us, darling, but we want to be able to give you the chance to not just give her to us, but keep a close connection to the whole thing. You gave up everything for nine months for us, so we want to give you something in return, some time you can kick up your feet and chill out to just enjoy the ride... but here, nearby, so you be a part of her life," he finally ended and plucked up the courage to give her a bashful glance again. He knew it was a big thing, and a lot of people were always so proud when it came to accepting money. But it was important to them. They needed to be able to give something in return.

[woman_or_a_girl]

Quinn took the box of tissues gratefully, wiping her tear filled eyes and her nose, which was starting to run by virtue of the crying that just wouldn't ever quite seem to stop. Still, they were tears (and snot?) of joy, and and Quinn wasn't complaining. This was the happiest she'd ever been in her life, if she were honest. Back in high school, Quinn had never foreseen Kurt becoming a father. He and Blaine had been very happy together, and never mentioned longing for children of their own. Then again, it hadn't ever been something they thought they'd be able to do. And Kurt had never been one for dwelling extensively on what he couldn't have. But through the gifts of modern science, and more than that, a love that was far deeper than any business arrangement could've been through a surrogacy agency or some such thing, Kyra-Belle Hummel-Anderson was here. And her daddies were taking to fatherhood like it was what they were born to do. And honestly, Quinn wasn't convinced that it wasn't.

"You do look exhausted," Quinn concurred. "But in a gorgeous, new daddy kind of way... Which tends to make it a fabulous exhausted. But you're right. I don't think either of you would've loved her any less or any more if she were Blaine's biologically. And to hell with the people who say this is wrong." In a cooing, baby talk voice, she spoke to Kyra-Belle, "There is nothing wrong about you, is there, darling? Nothing at all. Nothing wrong with Auntie Quinn's favorite baby in the whole world..." Quinn's eyes turned up to meet Kurt's. "I know she won't, darling. She's your whole world now. She's all of our world in so many ways. All of us are going to be here for her, every step of the way, to love her and help her and give her advice. All the things that families do, because that's what we are. The most strange, giant family ever."

Quinn listened quietly to Kurt's suggestion. Of course her first reaction mentally was that she should definitely turn Kurt down, and remind him that it was her idea, and she'd wanted to do it. But this wasn't Kurt offering to pay her for the use of her uterus and egg. This was Kurt and Blaine wanting her close to them and to Kyra-Belle. They wanted her to be able to be there to watch the little girl grow up. And for all her pride, that was a proposition Quinn could get behind... Otherwise, things would be more hassle, more changing, and a lot of it very quickly. Accepting Kurt and Blaine's offer would mean that she wouldn't have to go back home right away to get her affairs in order for the move. She could be getting settled in here, take a brief trip home, just to pack, and well and truly begin settling into life in London. There was so much that she wanted to be a part of in her friends' lives, especially now, with this tiny person becoming a part of all of them so quickly. And if she were honest with herself, deep down there was another reason that she wanted to stay in London, and God, did she want another chance to see how that could go... if there was a hope in hell of it ever happening. "Kurt," she said softly, swallowing hard, because seriously, she didn't want to burst into tears and forget to agree and thank him in the process. Slowly, she nodded. "I... I'd like that, sweetie. I'd like to stay close to you guys and to Kyra-Belle. But only if you're sure. I know I was planning to move to London already, but that would mean I wouldn't have to go home and wait for my place to sell before I could move here." As she rested there, the baby girl quiet and beautiful in her arms, all she could think about was how lucky and blessed they all were on one hand, and Jeremy on the other. Why the hell was she still holding on to him? He deserved so much better than how she'd treated him, and she should just let him go for once and for all. But for some reason, he was one of the factors weighing on her mind as she nodded to Kurt with a firm, "Yes, sweetie. I accept."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt gave a soft laugh while his eyes yet again lowered to his new baby daughter and he stroked the back of his finger gently over he soft cheek. "I really am. I can't remember ever being this exhausted in my life. I think it skimmed close in those few days after Blaine had his accident, but this is happy exhaustion. It's just like I don't want to close my eyes, or I'll miss something. Aerosmith is my new anthem. I want to know everything going on and all the things they want to teach us, and they're probably seriously getting sick of me now because I keep asking them to repeat every little thing so I can remember it when we get home. And there is seriously a lot to remember. It's becoming starkly obvious how little I knew about babies. I didn't even know how to properly burp her. Poor little thing was probably sitting there thinking 'Bloody hell, just tip me up a little more, and I'll work with you, daddy'. Instead, she just gave one of those warning cries that I was clearly on the wrong track and dealt with business out the other end," he said with a smirk. "She gets that off Blaine. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it."

He realised he was actually bracing himself for Quinn's answer. He was coiled up nervously, expecting the offer to be turned out. He and Blaine had discussed the whole thing at length since the birth, on and off between finding their daddy feet together. This was never going to be an average surrogacy. There had always been so much more love and care and connection behind the whole thing. Whilst they did, in the early days, have a few stumbles with boundaries and who was supposed to fit where, they got there in he end and neither Kurt nor Blaine ever wanted Quinn to just be an oven. She might not be going to be a hands-on parent to Kyra-Belle, because Blaine and Kurt would thrive on that, but there was no doubt she should be a part of everything. When she finally replied, his breath left him in a heavy rush. "Really?" he asked, and a big smile appeared on his face. "Oh my god, we were so sure you would say no. And... well, this might seen a little on the creepy side, but you know that red brick house across from us on our street? Our neighbours are going to convert that into two smaller apartments and we thought that maybe it might be an option for you. They won't be ready for a few months because it's a complete renovation projection, but it would give you your own place and still be close. It's a really lovely area and it's close to the city. It's peaceful, and there are even parks nearby."

[woman_or_a_girl]

Quinn's hand rested gently on Kyra-Belle's chest, fascinated by the rise and fall against her hand and the beat of her tiny heart. It wasn't as if she didn't know that babies breathed and their hearts beat, but actually seeing and feeling the sensations was enough to choke her up again. With a smile at Kurt, she shook her head. "Honey, we made a heartbeat, and tiny lungs, and like... Perfection." Shaking her head again she looked down at Kyra-Belle's face. "We're the best fag and hag team ever, you know." Laughing out loud at the assertion that Kyra-Belle's gastrointestinal "issues" were Blaine's doing, Quinn gave a small shake of her head. "That's an excellent story, babe. And people say two men can't make a baby? Clearly, Blaine got his own genes into the mix somehow."

"Yes, really," Quinn replied softly, her hand reaching out to give Kurt's a little squeeze. "I could wait a little while to go home and put my place on the market and all that. I have... Well, I have a lot of reasons to want to stay in London, that's for sure." She looked away from Kurt, knowing that if she met his gaze, he'd read the whole story, because that was just their relationship. She'd never been able to really hide anything from him. Not like that. Still, when he brought up the house across the street, she instantly grinned at him. "You can't stand the thought of your hag being far away, can you?" she teased. "It's totally okay. Then I'd be there if you guys needed me, and talk about convenient babysitting... Because I want to be first call for a babysitter, you know." She nodded at him. "That sounds really nice, Kurt. I've missed you guys so much before I came here... And I don't think I could leave now. Especially not with Kyra-Belle... No way do I want to miss out on you and Blaine seeing all her firsts and gushing like the proud daddies you are. And Skype won't be good enough. Not anymore."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt touched his lips, tearing up happily again as he nodded. The image of his daughter swum with the tears and he mopped them up again, sniffling. It was going to be a little while yet before the enormity of this whole thing stopped him wanting to sob happy tears all over everyone. "I can't believe she exists. I keep looking at her and touching her to make sure she is real. I know it's such a huge thing for everyone, but for me and Blaine, this is our whole life changing. Nothing is ever going to be the same again. It's not just him and me anymore, it's him, me and our princess. I spent so much of this whole thing worrying I would suck or I wouldn't know what to do, but now I just want to know how to do it all so I can be the best daddy she could ever hope for. Well, second only to Blaine. He's just got the natural thing happening. He's so beautiful with her. And I watch him nursing her and it's like everything is perfect in the world. I couldn't anticipate any of this. I tried. I tried to plan it all down like a fine art, but there is nothing in the world that could have told me it would be this amazing. Every tiny little thing about her is perfect. She seems to perfect to have come from me. it's like I should have screwed something up, that I'm too gay to make a baby... but I did. Blaine was joking that his sperm were too busy pausing to perve on my sperm's ass to be the quickest swimmer," he laughed with a fond shake of his head at his husband's humour. "It's suddenly like everything I had planned and mapped out is useless. It's a whole different game plan. And nothing matters as much as she does."

Kyra-Belle started to get restless then. She scrunched her little face up and gave a little whimper. Kurt felt his heart and belly tightened like it always did when he heard her cry, like some sort of instinctual response to want to fix it was quickly as possible. He put his finger under her hand and she wrapped her fingers around it. "Shhhh, baby girl, it's okay... don't cry..." he murmured, trying to soothe her but the tears came with some more little whimpers. He checked his watch but she was still about an hour off needing a feed. "Okay, these cries where I have no idea what is wrong? Sort of really suck. Google give you a list of what to check for, but then you start checking them all over, and they just seem to get more pissed. Sure you don't want to just stick to Skype?" he said sheepishly, giving himself an inner pep talk to stay calm.