(no subject)
there are times when i can look at what is going on in my life clearly and see what is really going on. I can see just how hopeless i am and how terrible i really am at social situations. I don't even think i can call myself shy because i am way beyond that. It's so frustrating because all i ever wanted since i started high school was friends and to have good conversastions with them but i struggle with it. But i really do want to wake up and see what is going on around me even if it is painful. I need to know if i as a loser. I need to know that i have let so much time pass me by so that i wont waste anymore. The problem is i get comfortable again and im back to my same routine and daydreaming through life and not trying to get to that place that i really want to be at. I want to be awake. i want to be alive and not sleeping through life.