[SPN] faith is a series of complications (5/16; fourth act)
IV: fourth act-strength will endure the deception of pain.
Things hardly got any easier after that; if anything, they only got harder than ever. Harder because with each time that Castiel dropped by to continue his treatment of Gabriel, the archangel felt his resolve weakening even further. As he grew stronger he could sense the lesser angel getting weaker, pushed by both the strain of the civil war against Raphael and having to treat Gabriel; after all, Grace that had been just given like that wasn’t so quickly recovered, especially not an amount like the one Castiel gave to him every session. Heaven being in total anarchy hadn’t helped with things either; the Host was unstable because of that, thus affecting the rate of how soon Cas recovered after each time. He might have tried to hide it, but it was impossible to do that entirely when Gabriel was exposed to the other angel’s Grace so often, and he could feel the differences in Castiel’s power.
The strained relationship that the younger angel had with the Winchesters didn’t escape his notice either; he had only been exposed to flashes of it at best, but it was more than enough for Gabriel to know that something was wrong. More than once during the next few days, the archangel had wanted to say something about it, but then he recalled how less-than-stellar his relationships with all of them-even to Castiel, considering how he had once been the other’s boss in his garrison who then had vanished without so much as a trace. It was enough of a surprise that Cas hadn’t even brought that up yet, but Gabriel wasn’t going to try his luck.
But the point of the matter was, saying that things were bad would be a roughly accurate description. However, if anything, Gabriel always did know how to make the best out of a bad situation.
Too bad this wasn’t just a regular bad situation he was dealing with.
“I can wait, you know.”
Castiel’s only response to that statement was a stare that went on for far too long without any sort of blinking happening in-between whatsoever and Gabriel wondered if he should even have said that in the first place. Maybe he shouldn’t have, considering the reaction he was getting. “I mean, I can wait for you to recover properly before you start plunging your hand into me all over again. The war isn’t going to wait for you up there.”
“You wish to return to the world you came from,” was all that Castiel said in reply and Gabriel really couldn't find anything to retort to that comment with, because yeah, that was pretty much what he said back when he found out what happened to him. But now just three days in and having to constantly see everybody in the household (angel included) pulling long faces and refusing to talk about their manly feelings just made Gabriel want to either smite or actually do something about this whole situation. The Winchesters, he could really care less about them to be honest, but Cas-Cas who was helping him even though Raphael was pretty much steamrolling him-Gabriel felt like he owed the little guy a lot more. And yeah, maybe he would be okay with helping out said angel if Castiel would actually talk to him.
Gabriel was pretty sure that the kid was still pissed about the whole ‘bumming out of heaven and moonlighting as a pagan god’ thing, since as far as he knew everyone else was pretty pissed about it in general. He supposed this was his deserved retribution, or something retarded like that, which was really kind of stupid considering he died already. That and the fact that he still technically wasn’t existing in this world yet; his Grace was nearly restored, but he still needed a day to get to the correct amount and pull it off nicely without accidentally causing some sort of danger to the general surroundings (the Winchesters were annoying, but their place was alright and destroying it would be a bit of a waste).
Castiel was still busy with putting his coats back on, so Gabriel took the chance to push on with the point he intended to make the other. “Okay, yeah, I do want to return to that world where you’re a tweet-loser and Sam and Dean are the biggest douchebags I’ve ever known. All the same, I can wait. You’re stretching yourself thin, Cas, and it isn’t going to be pretty when you finally snap.” Gabriel didn’t know if he could even handle it when that happened; after Lucifer and Michael and the Nephilim, he had about enough of his fair share of seeing his brothers and sisters going off the deep end and/or jumping off the slippery slope. He didn’t want Castiel to start going there as well.
Rather than appreciating the concern that Gabriel was giving him, Castiel only snapped back a curt response. “I can take care of myself, Gabriel.” And yeah, okay, that comment did sting a little-stinging because Gabriel remembered how much Cas depended on him once upon a time, when Gabirel was still The Messenger up in Heaven and had his garrison to deal with; a garrison he had never asked for but ended up caring for, what with the oddballs that somehow always ended up in his lap. From Anael to Uriel to Balthazar and Castiel… all of them had been important to him, once upon a time. But the first two were gone and his relationship with Balthazar was… well, he could understand why the other didn’t bother to come knocking even though the archangel was reachable. In a way, Castiel was the only one left-the ever loyal little foot soldier, something Gabriel once always teased him about. But that loyalty and faith had aided in stopping the Apocalypse and overthrowing both Michael and Lucifer, and now that loyalty was the reason why he was putting himself against another archangel.
Gabriel let out a sigh as he processed all of that in his head, closing his eyes so that he could make himself focus back onto the topic at hand. “I know you can, Cas, but there’s only so long you can force yourself on this. Just… rest up or something, or whatever you can do to gain back all the Grace you’ve given to me. I can wait, bro. No worries.” Weird, perhaps, that he was actually saying something like this when once upon a time he could have cared less what happened; then again, a lot of things had happened recently. Or maybe he just didn’t want to lose the one close kin he had, but Gabriel wasn’t going to allow himself to admit that anytime soon.
The younger angel gave Gabriel another long look at those words, and Gabriel let himself stare back for a moment, at least to prove that he was being serious (for once) about the whole resting thing. It was only a moment after that Cas ducked his head, responding. “…thank you, brother.”
Thank Father, the archangel breathed out mentally as he quirked the corners of his lips upwards and replied. “No prob.”
So now there was a lull between all things that had taken place in the last two days. It was odd, but Gabriel quickly got used to it and took the time to lounge around and just let the time fly by. More often than not the archangel was content to stay out of the way of the Winchesters and vice-versa, but sometimes he couldn’t help but pop into the study and see what they were up to (usually research, or drinking, or a combination of both).
“What the heck are you guys trying to research anyway?” he finally asked, after the third time he made his appearance at the room to see all three men brooding over their books (or to be more exact, Bobby and Sam over the books and Dean at the laptop where Gabriel was sure he was looking at bustyasianbeauties.com).
Sam looked up from the massive tome that was on his lap to respond. “Anything that relates to Purgatory.”
Gabriel instantly froze at the mention of Purgatory, feeling an icy coldness crawl up his spine. Purgatory. Even Gabriel didn’t have much knowledge on it, but he knew enough to know that it was something nobody should ever mess with. Only the archangels knew why the place existed, and two of them were in Hell, one was out for the end of the world and the last was technically non-existent.
Yeah, he could see why nobody would know about this.
“...seriously?” was all that he managed to say after a moment’s pause.
All three men had their attention focused upon Gabriel now, Dean’s expression most skeptical as he asked the impending question. “Do you know anything about it, Gabriel?”
The archangel gave himself a second to think through his response before he replied. “Just a bit. Even us angels don’t know much about that place - it was one of the first things my old man created.” And if he had to be honest to himself, just that one look he had back in the Beginning had been more than enough; there was just something about that place that unsettled him badly.
The three men gave each other vastly significant looks (which Gabriel rolled his eyes to because yeah, they were just that obvious) and after a pause, Bobby cast a narrowed-eyed glance towards him, speaking. “A bit is better than zilch, I’d say. Tell us whatever you know.”
Gabriel was more than willing to tell them whatever he knew-it wasn’t as if he had anything to lose-but really, it would kind of stain his record if he made it that easy on them. Besides, he could use this to his advantage. “I’ll tell you all that I know if you give me back something in return.”
Dean instantly narrowed his eyes. “You want to make a deal?”
“I prefer the term ‘information exchange’,” he corrected, waggling his finger and smirking at the scowl he got back in return. “I tell you about Purgatory, you tell me what’s been going on with you guys and little Cassie.”
“And why the hell do you want to know about that?” Dean again, of course.
Gabriel only smiled. “None of your business, Dean-o. So do we have a deal?”
The elder Winchester opened his mouth to say what was presumably a ‘no’ but Sam quickly cut in and half-shouted out “Yes” before Dean could say anything. The archangel grinned when he heard (and saw) it-trust Sammy to be the sensible one here.
“Perfect,” he started, now grabbing himself a chair to sit on and balance his elbows on his knees while propping his chin up with the heels of his palms. The way Dean was glaring at his brother didn’t escape Gabriel’s notice, but all he did was to let his smile widen before adding on. “So start talking.”
Needless to say, the whole talk was pretty awkward from the side of the Winchesters (plus Bobby), and Gabriel took a quiet pleasure in watching the two brothers squirm as they were forced to divulge the happenings that went on between them and Castiel-not that many of them were actually good things, but it was all the information that Gabriel needed to know that something was definitely up. Nobody really knew this, but Gabriel was acquainted with Crowley-although the demon hadn’t known that he was an archangel; as far as he had been concerned, Gabriel had just been Loki the Trickster.
Gabriel had found interest in Crowley mainly due to his position as King of the Crossroads-but also because he wanted to try and see just how long he could get away with being the buddy of a demon. As it turned out they were buddies for quite a while, although with everything that happened he wondered if Crowley ever found out his true identity; if anything, the incident at Elysian Fields would have given it away all too quickly.
No time to ponder that though; what was done was done, no matter how much Gabriel would have wanted to take it back. What was more important was that the Winchesters had been certain that Crowley was gone and dead after Castiel had burned his bones-Gabriel knew for a fact that burning bones would work, but knowing Crowley… there was no way he’d let anybody find his bones so easily, especially an angel. Not that Gabriel was looking down at Castiel’s abilities-but he knew Crowley well enough to know that the demon wasn’t one to let himself be done in like this. Something was just wrong with the entire picture, something that Gabriel couldn’t quite put a finger on.
Still, he wasn’t going to draw any sort of conclusion just yet; he only had one side of the story, and it wasn’t going to be fair if he decided on anything just from that. Gabriel would listen to the other side before he decided on his next course of action-even though there was a good part of him that was pretty certain that he wasn’t going to like it one bit.
“So, bro,” he started, once Castiel appeared the next day to continue with the treatment after the rest they had both gotten. “Got anything to say to me?”
The younger angel glanced up. “Pardon?”
Gabriel cocked his head to the side, looking at the other. “You haven’t really been talking to the Winchesters these days, I hear.”
There was a significant pause, one that told the archangel many things. Gabriel narrowed his eyes as Castiel glanced away. “It is not of import.”
“I’d say you not getting along with the Hardy Boys is totally of ‘import’,” the archangel retorted, not missing the way the other flinched at his words. “I mean, heck, you all went through the Apocalypse together. That kind of thing should bond you all up and have you guys roast marshmallows and trading stories over campfires, not split you apart.”
“There are more important things at hand than Sam and Dean-” Castiel started, but Gabriel quickly interrupted him.
“Yeah, Cas, I know,” he went, “I know that Raphael’s up there trying to smite you into smithereens, and I understand the worries you have. But that’s no reason to cast them aside.” Vaguely Gabriel realized just how much of a hypocrite he was for saying all of this, but he really couldn’t bring himself to care that much-he wasn’t really part of this world anymore, and Cas was the one angel he could bring himself to care about. As long as his little brother was fine, nothing else really mattered to him. He had nothing much to lose at this point, anyway.
Castiel glanced away, jaw clenched while Gabriel gave both of them a few minutes to cool down. The archangel really was worried for the other, because as far as he could see, Cas was shouldering everything by himself and not wanting the Winchesters to know about whatever it was that he was doing. Gabriel couldn’t help but snort at that thought-shouldering the burdens; truly a very Winchester trait, as far as he knew. Even without knowing, the lesser angel had already picked up the Winchester trait for self-sacrifice.
Looking back at Gabriel when he snorted, Cas narrowed his eyes at the archangel for a moment before he spoke up once again. “What are your intentions in getting your answers, Gabriel? Will you raise a hand to help if you get your answers? Or will you just sit back like when the Apocalypse took place before?”
The words shouldn’t have stung Gabriel like they did, but hearing them did hurt, as true as it was. The archangel scowled, biting on his bottom lip to stop himself from snapping right back at Castiel (“I just wanted it to be over, Cas.”). He hated to admit it, but yeah, Cas was right in saying that to Gabriel; he was the one who almost forced the brothers to put an end to the world even though they were trying otherwise. He had just been so tired of the fighting and the betrayals and the backstabbing, he wanted nothing more but for it to end. So that he didn’t have to keep watching anymore, and so that he no longer needed to hide like he had been doing for so long.
“Those are two different things, Castiel,” he finally returned, voice quiet.
“And these are two different things, Gabriel,” Cas pointed out, his own voice as cold as ice. “It does not concern you.”
Gabriel clenched his jaw at those words, but didn’t say anything else; he couldn’t say anything in response to something like that.
Castiel looked away again, silent for a while longer before speaking. “I’ll return later.” And with that, he vanished in a rustle of wings and the crushing silence of Gabriel’s own guilt.
There was guilt, and there was shame, and Gabriel knew that he couldn't take back the things that he had done back in the near-Apocalypse-but what was done was done, and the archangel could only move on from there. What mattered was the now and now that was making sure that Castiel was alright. To put himself against Heaven like this was no easy feat, and especially to pit himself against Raphael… his brother had never been one to be gentle, and with things as they were there was no way that his brother was going to be inclined to be merciful to Cas.
It was only due to this worry that Gabriel made the decision to follow his brother after a few minutes of mulling--Cas wasn't going to be happy about this when he found out, but it was a necessary evil until he could put his mind at ease over the angel. At least, the archangel knew there was a low chance of him being caught; he wasn't exactly back to being an angel yet without his connection to the Host, and his body was effectively unrecognized by this world. If his guess was correct, there was a good likelihood that nothing in this world could actually affect him, physically or otherwise. That included any Enochian used to as well as against him, as well as angel wards.
Being a non-entity has its benefits, Gabriel mused as he sought out Castiel's Grace, finding it almost instantly-most likely one of the side-effects of taking in his Grace for the last few days; Grace called out to Grace, especially when it belonged to the same source. The archangel closed his eyes, taking a moment to properly centre himself on the location where the angel was before he reached and tapped into his power. This was probably going to push back his recovery by quite a bit (transportation wasn’t as easy as one assumed it would be), but it was a small price to pay for ensuring Castiel's safety.
The Grace within him responded instantly to Gabriel’s call, pulsing once before the power swiftly expanded within him, coaxed out from the corners of his being as it coiled out and reached into every fiber of his existence. Gabriel could have almost sobbed in relief at the rush of energy he felt, every part of him singing in joy at the familiar feel of Grace flooding his system. It had been long, far too long since he could touch power like this. Even back in the other world the severed connection he had with the Host hadn’t let him feel like this, and this was only a fraction of how things would be when he could finally re-establish his bond with the Host. The power, the comfort of Grace freely running in his being-Gabriel had missed it so, so much.
Still, there was no time to wholly celebrate this-he had a mission to do here, and Gabriel wasn’t going to let anything distract him. The archangel sucked in a deep breath, steadying himself and the Grace now sweeping in his body. He couldn’t let himself expand too much; he was only going to unlock it long enough to send him flying towards where Castiel was and back. Just a look to see if the angel was fine and nothing more than that; just enough to put his mind at ease, so that he could finally get himself to stop worrying.
He concentrated, reaching out across the world to draw himself to the steady beat of Grace that belonged to Castiel. He could sense his brother flying across the planes towards his new destination, and Gabriel allowed himself to follow the angel’s path. The moment he opened himself to do that, the archangel felt the world disappearing at his feet when he latched onto Castiel’s Grace, drawing close to its call and in the next instant Gabriel grunted as he landed roughly at his destination, tumbling across the dirt with the sun shining down hotly on him through his shut eyelids.
The archangel coughed out the dust in his lungs as he turned his body around and pushed himself up, dusting his hands off against the back of his jeans. The sun was shining down way too brightly, bright enough that Gabriel had to squint his eyes so that he could tolerate the sunlight as he cast a cursory look across his surroundings. It was quiet-too quiet-and the stench of blood hung thick in the air. Gabriel made a face as the smell assaulted his senses, licking his dry lips and turned his head towards the general direction of the lone abandoned building nearby, where he could still feel Castiel’s Grace. The signal wasn’t as strong as earlier, now much more muted, but the archangel could still feel it. He had to be close.
Nothing about this settled him though, and Gabriel found himself getting worried for the angel as he walked closer towards the entrance of the building. Something else rankled against his being now, something that caused his gut to churn in all the wrong ways and sent a feeling of dread up his spine. It was a feeling of wrongness, the sensation clawing in his stomach and making his heart beat faster. Gabriel steeled and forced himself to go closer, even as each step grew harder and harder to take, anxiety filling up inside him. Castiel was still here, he could feel it, but sensing it against this storm of other emotions… what was going on here?
He paused at the entrance, biting the inside of his cheek while considering his options. Clearly, there was something going on here-this wrongness was unnatural, and Gabriel wasn’t sure what to make of his brother who was most likely dabbling in this, whatever it was. Should he go see? To look and see for himself what was going on? He may not care most of the time, but this was Castiel he was going to eavesdrop on if he was going through with this. Castiel who was helping him now, Castiel who had always only given and never asked. It felt… wrong, to betray something like that.
Fuck it, I’m going to be gone anyway, Gabriel thought to himself, quickly shaking off the last of his hesitance, and walked through the open doorway.
It didn’t take but a moment after his entrance to know that something really was wrong, as Gabriel pressed himself against a wall and cautiously waited for footsteps to pass by him, unnoticed. The scent of blood outside had now mixed with the obnoxious smell of sulfur, and there was only one reason as to why he smelled that.
Demons.
Gabriel carefully tilted his head out, hazel eyes darting left and right to ensure that the coast was clear before he scurried down the path he had been walking on earlier. There were demons everywhere as far as the archangel could sense with his limited powers, and that was not doing anything to ease the building worry he had for Castiel. All these demons, and the angel was alone-limited as his powers were, Gabriel knew he would have a hard time getting in or out if it wasn’t for his current condition. Still regarded as a non-entity by the world itself, nothing based on this world would be able to register him properly. This was maybe one of the few good things to come out from this, not that Gabriel felt any better. He would still like to be back to normal as soon as it was possible to do so.
Darting down the hall, the archangel made sure to keep his own movements quick and light, playing safe so that nothing would have the chance to spot him. The draw of Castiel’s Grace was closer now, clearer than before as he moved deeper into the building. If his estimate was correct, all he needed to do was to turn past this corridor and-
“-took so long before you finally arrived here, angel,” drawled a vaguely-familiar voice from the room he had just been about to enter. Gabriel stilled, quickly flattening himself against the wall and strained his ears to continue listening. “Almost thought Raphael smited your ass.”
There was a slight pause before there was an answer, and Gabriel widened his eyes in surprise when it was Castiel’s voice that was speaking up. “I had other matters to attend to.”
A snort. “With the Hardy Boys, I assume. I smell Bobby Singer’s whiskey collection all over your coat.”
“Does it matter where I am?” Castiel’s voice was sharper now, curter. “You asked for my presence, and I am here.” Another pause. “I assume you have a good reason for calling me, Crowley.”
Crowley? Crowley? The same Crowley that was supposed to have been burned into a crisp? Gabriel quickly stuffed his surprise back down inside himself, frowning. He should have been dead, all things considered; but here he was alive and well and apparently in contact with Castiel. Something was really amiss here, and Gabriel now knew he had to find out what it was. The archangel took a breath, steeling himself before he turned his head around in order to peek over the side of the wall. True to form, there was Crowley standing without a care in the world as he faced Castiel, a sardonic smirk twisting his lips. “Wouldn’t have called you otherwise, love.”
Gabriel raised an eyebrow at the nickname-he would have noticed if his brother was having intimate relations with a demon-but figured it was best not to think too hard on it for now, and stretched his neck further to catch sight of Castiel. The lesser angel stood ramrod straight, his gaze set on Crowley alone as he spoke stiffly. “You have a lead.”
“Like I said, I wouldn’t have called you otherwise.” Crowley’s smile widened, mirth written across his face as the demon rocked back on his heels, looking far too pleased for Gabriel’s tastes. “Eve is on the move.”
The archangel instantly felt his eyes widen in response to the spoken name. Eve? Eve? What was this, drop bombshells on the poor dead archangel day? First Crowley was alive and now Eve was wandering around the world-the Mother of All was somebody even Gabriel did not want to tangle with, and to hear that she was topside from purgatory-this was not good news. At all.
Neither was the fact that Castiel was taking this news with a lack of shock. Gabriel watched as the angel’s brows furrowed, contemplating more than worrying. “She is the key,” he said, so plain and simple that Gabriel felt like bashing his head against the wall. Nothing about this was plain and simple. In fact, Gabriel was already starting to think that making the Apocalypse happen would have been a much better alternative then what was happening right now. Purgatory starting to get topside, and his little bro working deals with demons? What the hell was this world coming to?
Crowley made a hum of acknowledgement at Castiel’s words, patting down his tailored coat. “Mmn-hmn. My underlings tell me she was last seen somewhere in Ohio. Apparently she planted something or another in some unfortunate truck driver.” The demon made a small shrug. “Couldn’t get close though, so there’s no way of confirming.”
“It does not matter what she is doing,” Castiel replied, turning away from Crowley. Gabriel quickly ducked his head out to hide against the wall once more, hoping that the angel hadn’t seen him-the archangel didn’t want to think of the consequences if the other caught him. There was a long, tense silence, and Gabriel tried to keep his breathing even, not wanting to be found. After what almost seemed like an eternity, he heard Castiel’s voice speaking up again and barely managed to hide the relieved sigh that escaped him. “What matters more is to locate her before anyone else does.”
“Anyone else being the bozo brothers and Singer.” Gabriel didn’t even need to look to know that Crowley was making a face at the mention of the three humans. “You really need to stop hanging around them, Castiel.”
The response to that was immediate, and it was hard not to ignore the hard edge that had crept into his voice when Castiel spoke. “We talked about this before, Crowley. Breaking communication would only raise suspicion on their end. We cannot let anything jeopardize this.”
“Then why the hell did you even contact them in the first place?” Crowley retorted, now annoyed and demanding. “You could have just, you know, ignored them.”
“It was only a matter of time before we would meet again. It would be safer to meet on terms that I could handle-”
“-and just expose your blatant weakness to Raphael, why don’t you-”
“Dean is not my weakness.”
Another snort coming from Crowley. “But yet you still go to his every beck and call.”
There was a long pause following those words.
“Do not presume to know me, Crowley,” Castiel spoke up, and now his voice had gone ice-cold. “I am working on my own terms.”
“If that’s what you’re telling yourself,” Gabriel barely managed to make out the half-mutter from the demon before Castiel’s voice interrupted once again.
“If that is all, Crowley, I will take my leave.”
Gabriel took the chance and turned his head around the bend, just in time to see Crowley waving the angel off. “Sure, go stick your face back in Dean Winchester’s ass for all I case.” The sarcasm dripped from the demon’s words, hardly caring that Castiel now looked pretty damned close to smiting him. “Just make sure you know how to list your priorities properly.”
There was no answer from Castiel except for the rustle of wings, and Gabriel knew it was time for him to leave as well. Pulling his head back, the archangel quickly slipped away from where he had been hiding and made a swift exit out of the building before he brought himself back to Bobby Singer’s place.
It was hard to face Castiel later when the lesser angel arrived for another session of his healing, but if anything Gabriel was well-versed in the art of maintaining a straight face and hiding his emotions. That had been how he dealt with the breakup of his brothers, between Michael and Lucifer’s backstabbing each other up until Dean had trapped him in holy fire and violently slammed the truth in his face.
(“This isn't about some prize fight between your brothers or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family!”)
“Gabriel?” came Castiel’s voice, cutting through the train of thought chugging in the archangel’s head as Gabriel blinked and jerked his head up to stare at the other. Castiel-determined, faithful Castiel-now working with demons and standing all alone against Raphael. Every part of Gabriel wanted to do nothing more than to help Cas, to aid him in the war and put Raphael back in his place; but for all that he had done back in the near-Apocalypse, Gabriel couldn’t find the strength within himself to do it. The memory of Lucifer and the sword piercing through his true form still echoed strongly in his mind, forcing a shiver down his spine.
There was a hand on his shoulder, and Gabriel blinked again, focusing his mind back to reality, finding himself blinking at Castiel’s now-worried gaze. “Are you alright?”
I’m not alright, the archangel thought, but he didn’t voice the words. Instead he closed his eyes and nodded, dropping his hands down to his sides. “I’m fine. Just a little tired.”
Castiel blinked once before his eyes narrowed, the worried frown appearing once more. “You have been using your Grace.” It was a statement, not a question, and Gabriel knew he wasn’t going to be able to talk himself out of that one.
“Yeah,” he replied, shrugging slightly as the archangel attempted to play it off. “I just wanted to see how far my recovery’s going. It’s just been too long, you know?” Too long since he could allow himself to trust one of his family, too long since he could lay eyes on anyone of his brothers and sisters. He had spent centuries and millenniums wandering across the Earth as Loki the Trickster and living in decadence with the pagans, but in the end they could never be his family, no matter how he wished it so. He was still an angel, one with Heaven and the Host-he could never turn away from his home wholly, no matter how much he tried to.
The look that entered Castiel’s eyes with those words was haunted, pained and sympathetic. Gabriel supposed it wasn’t too much of a surprise, considering that Cas himself had spent a good part of the near-Apocalypse cut off from Heaven and Falling from grace. Or Grace, either way. While Gabriel himself never truly fell, the loneliness that they had both experienced was still the same. Away from home, from family, from everything they had once been familiar with. It was never easy, no matter how much one prepared. The solitude of being alone was always the hardest thing to get used to.
Eventually Cas lowered his head, his hand falling down from Gabriel’s shoulder as the angel straightened himself again. “I understand,” he murmured, voice a barely audible whisper. “It would be wise to refrain from such careless actions so soon, though.”
What about you, Cas? Gabriel wondered silently as he watched the angel now preparing for the session proper, thoughts running wildly in the safety of his head. You’re the one working with Crowley and trying to do something with the Mother of All. What are you doing?
There were so many things that Gabriel wanted to say out loud-from his deal to his plans to everything-but he couldn’t bring himself to voice them, couldn’t find it within himself to stand up against the only angel who still apparently bothered about him. He already lost Michael and Lucifer and Raphael to his own self-righteousness. He didn’t know if he could lose another one and still manage to be alright. Castiel got rid of his coat and his jacket, placing them on the chair and rolled up his sleeves. The archangel looked at the lesser angel as he drew closer, closing his eyes to brace himself for the now familiar pain. Dean’s words back in the warehouse echoed in his head again, and Gabriel couldn’t help but let a mirthless smile cross his face before Castiel’s hand sank into him.
Thoughts of Castiel and Crowley and Purgatory floated constantly in Gabriel’s head as he lay in his bed and stared at the ceiling as he recovered from the session, the archangel wondering if there was actually anything he could do. Standing up against Cas was a big no for him, but at the same time he was in no shape to help out either. But the deal with Crowley was dangerous, and Gabriel knew he had to cut in one way or another, even if Castiel wasn’t going to like it. He needed help for this, help that wasn’t from the Winchesters (because they would screw everything up) or from any party that he couldn’t trust. No, he needed-
Gabriel bolted up in bed, the answer slamming into him as clear as day as he snapped his fingers. He had his answer; now what he needed to go through with was the execution of his idea.
He waited for hours before he made his move, only taking action when he was certain enough that Castiel was busy with things up in Heaven and wouldn’t notice what he was doing here. Still, he did take precautions-he made use of Bobby’s panic room (now angel-proofed due to his efforts), taking the chance while the three hunters were sleeping; it wasn’t hard to gather the things he needed for this step, not when they summoned angels on a regular basis now. In less than a minute the spell was done, and Gabriel settled himself on a chair to wait for the other’s arrival. It didn’t even take half a minute; when the sound of wings resounded in the room, Gabriel didn’t even need to look up to see the bewildered look on Balthazar’s face. After all, it certainly wasn’t everyday when an archangel resorted to human summoning rituals to call forth an angel, let alone in an angel-warded place (not that it applied now, since the spell trumped the wards).
“Gabriel,” the other angel started, voice betraying the surprise he was trying (and subsequently failing) to hide as Balthazar inclined his head, regarding the other with a curious gaze in his eyes. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
The archangel stood up from the chair, looking up at Balthazar as he stepped forward and pulled out a list from the folds of his jacket and passed it over to the angel. “Get these things for me.”
Balthazar gave Gabriel another curious look at the request (since you know, one normally didn’t call angels up to be their personal shopping basket-but Gabriel was an archangel and Balthazar had been his protégé, so screw normality) but complied anyway, taking the strip of paper from Gabriel’s hand and looking over it himself. His eyes widened with each line that he read, and he hadn’t even gotten to half of it when he looked back up, narrowing his eyes when he glanced at Gabriel again. “This is…”
Gabriel knew he was going to be bombarded with tons of questions later, but now really wasn’t the time for that-not when he was working on a limited schedule (namely, before Cas could return and figure out what he was trying to do). “I’ll explain later,” he replied, shaking his head as he waved off the lesser angel. “Just go and get those things for me, will you? I’ve got an old friend to call up.”
A skeptical look was given in response, but Balthazar nodded and tucked the list into his jacket. “I’ll be back in twenty.” He vanished as soon as he said that, leaving the archangel alone in the room once again. Gabriel closed his eyes and sighed, settling back down onto the chair and stared at the nearby clock as he waited for the next twenty minutes to pass him by before Balthazar would return with the things he had asked for.
He knew he was going to regret this later.
← third act | fifth act →
Things hardly got any easier after that; if anything, they only got harder than ever. Harder because with each time that Castiel dropped by to continue his treatment of Gabriel, the archangel felt his resolve weakening even further. As he grew stronger he could sense the lesser angel getting weaker, pushed by both the strain of the civil war against Raphael and having to treat Gabriel; after all, Grace that had been just given like that wasn’t so quickly recovered, especially not an amount like the one Castiel gave to him every session. Heaven being in total anarchy hadn’t helped with things either; the Host was unstable because of that, thus affecting the rate of how soon Cas recovered after each time. He might have tried to hide it, but it was impossible to do that entirely when Gabriel was exposed to the other angel’s Grace so often, and he could feel the differences in Castiel’s power.
The strained relationship that the younger angel had with the Winchesters didn’t escape his notice either; he had only been exposed to flashes of it at best, but it was more than enough for Gabriel to know that something was wrong. More than once during the next few days, the archangel had wanted to say something about it, but then he recalled how less-than-stellar his relationships with all of them-even to Castiel, considering how he had once been the other’s boss in his garrison who then had vanished without so much as a trace. It was enough of a surprise that Cas hadn’t even brought that up yet, but Gabriel wasn’t going to try his luck.
But the point of the matter was, saying that things were bad would be a roughly accurate description. However, if anything, Gabriel always did know how to make the best out of a bad situation.
Too bad this wasn’t just a regular bad situation he was dealing with.
“I can wait, you know.”
Castiel’s only response to that statement was a stare that went on for far too long without any sort of blinking happening in-between whatsoever and Gabriel wondered if he should even have said that in the first place. Maybe he shouldn’t have, considering the reaction he was getting. “I mean, I can wait for you to recover properly before you start plunging your hand into me all over again. The war isn’t going to wait for you up there.”
“You wish to return to the world you came from,” was all that Castiel said in reply and Gabriel really couldn't find anything to retort to that comment with, because yeah, that was pretty much what he said back when he found out what happened to him. But now just three days in and having to constantly see everybody in the household (angel included) pulling long faces and refusing to talk about their manly feelings just made Gabriel want to either smite or actually do something about this whole situation. The Winchesters, he could really care less about them to be honest, but Cas-Cas who was helping him even though Raphael was pretty much steamrolling him-Gabriel felt like he owed the little guy a lot more. And yeah, maybe he would be okay with helping out said angel if Castiel would actually talk to him.
Gabriel was pretty sure that the kid was still pissed about the whole ‘bumming out of heaven and moonlighting as a pagan god’ thing, since as far as he knew everyone else was pretty pissed about it in general. He supposed this was his deserved retribution, or something retarded like that, which was really kind of stupid considering he died already. That and the fact that he still technically wasn’t existing in this world yet; his Grace was nearly restored, but he still needed a day to get to the correct amount and pull it off nicely without accidentally causing some sort of danger to the general surroundings (the Winchesters were annoying, but their place was alright and destroying it would be a bit of a waste).
Castiel was still busy with putting his coats back on, so Gabriel took the chance to push on with the point he intended to make the other. “Okay, yeah, I do want to return to that world where you’re a tweet-loser and Sam and Dean are the biggest douchebags I’ve ever known. All the same, I can wait. You’re stretching yourself thin, Cas, and it isn’t going to be pretty when you finally snap.” Gabriel didn’t know if he could even handle it when that happened; after Lucifer and Michael and the Nephilim, he had about enough of his fair share of seeing his brothers and sisters going off the deep end and/or jumping off the slippery slope. He didn’t want Castiel to start going there as well.
Rather than appreciating the concern that Gabriel was giving him, Castiel only snapped back a curt response. “I can take care of myself, Gabriel.” And yeah, okay, that comment did sting a little-stinging because Gabriel remembered how much Cas depended on him once upon a time, when Gabirel was still The Messenger up in Heaven and had his garrison to deal with; a garrison he had never asked for but ended up caring for, what with the oddballs that somehow always ended up in his lap. From Anael to Uriel to Balthazar and Castiel… all of them had been important to him, once upon a time. But the first two were gone and his relationship with Balthazar was… well, he could understand why the other didn’t bother to come knocking even though the archangel was reachable. In a way, Castiel was the only one left-the ever loyal little foot soldier, something Gabriel once always teased him about. But that loyalty and faith had aided in stopping the Apocalypse and overthrowing both Michael and Lucifer, and now that loyalty was the reason why he was putting himself against another archangel.
Gabriel let out a sigh as he processed all of that in his head, closing his eyes so that he could make himself focus back onto the topic at hand. “I know you can, Cas, but there’s only so long you can force yourself on this. Just… rest up or something, or whatever you can do to gain back all the Grace you’ve given to me. I can wait, bro. No worries.” Weird, perhaps, that he was actually saying something like this when once upon a time he could have cared less what happened; then again, a lot of things had happened recently. Or maybe he just didn’t want to lose the one close kin he had, but Gabriel wasn’t going to allow himself to admit that anytime soon.
The younger angel gave Gabriel another long look at those words, and Gabriel let himself stare back for a moment, at least to prove that he was being serious (for once) about the whole resting thing. It was only a moment after that Cas ducked his head, responding. “…thank you, brother.”
Thank Father, the archangel breathed out mentally as he quirked the corners of his lips upwards and replied. “No prob.”
So now there was a lull between all things that had taken place in the last two days. It was odd, but Gabriel quickly got used to it and took the time to lounge around and just let the time fly by. More often than not the archangel was content to stay out of the way of the Winchesters and vice-versa, but sometimes he couldn’t help but pop into the study and see what they were up to (usually research, or drinking, or a combination of both).
“What the heck are you guys trying to research anyway?” he finally asked, after the third time he made his appearance at the room to see all three men brooding over their books (or to be more exact, Bobby and Sam over the books and Dean at the laptop where Gabriel was sure he was looking at bustyasianbeauties.com).
Sam looked up from the massive tome that was on his lap to respond. “Anything that relates to Purgatory.”
Gabriel instantly froze at the mention of Purgatory, feeling an icy coldness crawl up his spine. Purgatory. Even Gabriel didn’t have much knowledge on it, but he knew enough to know that it was something nobody should ever mess with. Only the archangels knew why the place existed, and two of them were in Hell, one was out for the end of the world and the last was technically non-existent.
Yeah, he could see why nobody would know about this.
“...seriously?” was all that he managed to say after a moment’s pause.
All three men had their attention focused upon Gabriel now, Dean’s expression most skeptical as he asked the impending question. “Do you know anything about it, Gabriel?”
The archangel gave himself a second to think through his response before he replied. “Just a bit. Even us angels don’t know much about that place - it was one of the first things my old man created.” And if he had to be honest to himself, just that one look he had back in the Beginning had been more than enough; there was just something about that place that unsettled him badly.
The three men gave each other vastly significant looks (which Gabriel rolled his eyes to because yeah, they were just that obvious) and after a pause, Bobby cast a narrowed-eyed glance towards him, speaking. “A bit is better than zilch, I’d say. Tell us whatever you know.”
Gabriel was more than willing to tell them whatever he knew-it wasn’t as if he had anything to lose-but really, it would kind of stain his record if he made it that easy on them. Besides, he could use this to his advantage. “I’ll tell you all that I know if you give me back something in return.”
Dean instantly narrowed his eyes. “You want to make a deal?”
“I prefer the term ‘information exchange’,” he corrected, waggling his finger and smirking at the scowl he got back in return. “I tell you about Purgatory, you tell me what’s been going on with you guys and little Cassie.”
“And why the hell do you want to know about that?” Dean again, of course.
Gabriel only smiled. “None of your business, Dean-o. So do we have a deal?”
The elder Winchester opened his mouth to say what was presumably a ‘no’ but Sam quickly cut in and half-shouted out “Yes” before Dean could say anything. The archangel grinned when he heard (and saw) it-trust Sammy to be the sensible one here.
“Perfect,” he started, now grabbing himself a chair to sit on and balance his elbows on his knees while propping his chin up with the heels of his palms. The way Dean was glaring at his brother didn’t escape Gabriel’s notice, but all he did was to let his smile widen before adding on. “So start talking.”
Needless to say, the whole talk was pretty awkward from the side of the Winchesters (plus Bobby), and Gabriel took a quiet pleasure in watching the two brothers squirm as they were forced to divulge the happenings that went on between them and Castiel-not that many of them were actually good things, but it was all the information that Gabriel needed to know that something was definitely up. Nobody really knew this, but Gabriel was acquainted with Crowley-although the demon hadn’t known that he was an archangel; as far as he had been concerned, Gabriel had just been Loki the Trickster.
Gabriel had found interest in Crowley mainly due to his position as King of the Crossroads-but also because he wanted to try and see just how long he could get away with being the buddy of a demon. As it turned out they were buddies for quite a while, although with everything that happened he wondered if Crowley ever found out his true identity; if anything, the incident at Elysian Fields would have given it away all too quickly.
No time to ponder that though; what was done was done, no matter how much Gabriel would have wanted to take it back. What was more important was that the Winchesters had been certain that Crowley was gone and dead after Castiel had burned his bones-Gabriel knew for a fact that burning bones would work, but knowing Crowley… there was no way he’d let anybody find his bones so easily, especially an angel. Not that Gabriel was looking down at Castiel’s abilities-but he knew Crowley well enough to know that the demon wasn’t one to let himself be done in like this. Something was just wrong with the entire picture, something that Gabriel couldn’t quite put a finger on.
Still, he wasn’t going to draw any sort of conclusion just yet; he only had one side of the story, and it wasn’t going to be fair if he decided on anything just from that. Gabriel would listen to the other side before he decided on his next course of action-even though there was a good part of him that was pretty certain that he wasn’t going to like it one bit.
“So, bro,” he started, once Castiel appeared the next day to continue with the treatment after the rest they had both gotten. “Got anything to say to me?”
The younger angel glanced up. “Pardon?”
Gabriel cocked his head to the side, looking at the other. “You haven’t really been talking to the Winchesters these days, I hear.”
There was a significant pause, one that told the archangel many things. Gabriel narrowed his eyes as Castiel glanced away. “It is not of import.”
“I’d say you not getting along with the Hardy Boys is totally of ‘import’,” the archangel retorted, not missing the way the other flinched at his words. “I mean, heck, you all went through the Apocalypse together. That kind of thing should bond you all up and have you guys roast marshmallows and trading stories over campfires, not split you apart.”
“There are more important things at hand than Sam and Dean-” Castiel started, but Gabriel quickly interrupted him.
“Yeah, Cas, I know,” he went, “I know that Raphael’s up there trying to smite you into smithereens, and I understand the worries you have. But that’s no reason to cast them aside.” Vaguely Gabriel realized just how much of a hypocrite he was for saying all of this, but he really couldn’t bring himself to care that much-he wasn’t really part of this world anymore, and Cas was the one angel he could bring himself to care about. As long as his little brother was fine, nothing else really mattered to him. He had nothing much to lose at this point, anyway.
Castiel glanced away, jaw clenched while Gabriel gave both of them a few minutes to cool down. The archangel really was worried for the other, because as far as he could see, Cas was shouldering everything by himself and not wanting the Winchesters to know about whatever it was that he was doing. Gabriel couldn’t help but snort at that thought-shouldering the burdens; truly a very Winchester trait, as far as he knew. Even without knowing, the lesser angel had already picked up the Winchester trait for self-sacrifice.
Looking back at Gabriel when he snorted, Cas narrowed his eyes at the archangel for a moment before he spoke up once again. “What are your intentions in getting your answers, Gabriel? Will you raise a hand to help if you get your answers? Or will you just sit back like when the Apocalypse took place before?”
The words shouldn’t have stung Gabriel like they did, but hearing them did hurt, as true as it was. The archangel scowled, biting on his bottom lip to stop himself from snapping right back at Castiel (“I just wanted it to be over, Cas.”). He hated to admit it, but yeah, Cas was right in saying that to Gabriel; he was the one who almost forced the brothers to put an end to the world even though they were trying otherwise. He had just been so tired of the fighting and the betrayals and the backstabbing, he wanted nothing more but for it to end. So that he didn’t have to keep watching anymore, and so that he no longer needed to hide like he had been doing for so long.
“Those are two different things, Castiel,” he finally returned, voice quiet.
“And these are two different things, Gabriel,” Cas pointed out, his own voice as cold as ice. “It does not concern you.”
Gabriel clenched his jaw at those words, but didn’t say anything else; he couldn’t say anything in response to something like that.
Castiel looked away again, silent for a while longer before speaking. “I’ll return later.” And with that, he vanished in a rustle of wings and the crushing silence of Gabriel’s own guilt.
There was guilt, and there was shame, and Gabriel knew that he couldn't take back the things that he had done back in the near-Apocalypse-but what was done was done, and the archangel could only move on from there. What mattered was the now and now that was making sure that Castiel was alright. To put himself against Heaven like this was no easy feat, and especially to pit himself against Raphael… his brother had never been one to be gentle, and with things as they were there was no way that his brother was going to be inclined to be merciful to Cas.
It was only due to this worry that Gabriel made the decision to follow his brother after a few minutes of mulling--Cas wasn't going to be happy about this when he found out, but it was a necessary evil until he could put his mind at ease over the angel. At least, the archangel knew there was a low chance of him being caught; he wasn't exactly back to being an angel yet without his connection to the Host, and his body was effectively unrecognized by this world. If his guess was correct, there was a good likelihood that nothing in this world could actually affect him, physically or otherwise. That included any Enochian used to as well as against him, as well as angel wards.
Being a non-entity has its benefits, Gabriel mused as he sought out Castiel's Grace, finding it almost instantly-most likely one of the side-effects of taking in his Grace for the last few days; Grace called out to Grace, especially when it belonged to the same source. The archangel closed his eyes, taking a moment to properly centre himself on the location where the angel was before he reached and tapped into his power. This was probably going to push back his recovery by quite a bit (transportation wasn’t as easy as one assumed it would be), but it was a small price to pay for ensuring Castiel's safety.
The Grace within him responded instantly to Gabriel’s call, pulsing once before the power swiftly expanded within him, coaxed out from the corners of his being as it coiled out and reached into every fiber of his existence. Gabriel could have almost sobbed in relief at the rush of energy he felt, every part of him singing in joy at the familiar feel of Grace flooding his system. It had been long, far too long since he could touch power like this. Even back in the other world the severed connection he had with the Host hadn’t let him feel like this, and this was only a fraction of how things would be when he could finally re-establish his bond with the Host. The power, the comfort of Grace freely running in his being-Gabriel had missed it so, so much.
Still, there was no time to wholly celebrate this-he had a mission to do here, and Gabriel wasn’t going to let anything distract him. The archangel sucked in a deep breath, steadying himself and the Grace now sweeping in his body. He couldn’t let himself expand too much; he was only going to unlock it long enough to send him flying towards where Castiel was and back. Just a look to see if the angel was fine and nothing more than that; just enough to put his mind at ease, so that he could finally get himself to stop worrying.
He concentrated, reaching out across the world to draw himself to the steady beat of Grace that belonged to Castiel. He could sense his brother flying across the planes towards his new destination, and Gabriel allowed himself to follow the angel’s path. The moment he opened himself to do that, the archangel felt the world disappearing at his feet when he latched onto Castiel’s Grace, drawing close to its call and in the next instant Gabriel grunted as he landed roughly at his destination, tumbling across the dirt with the sun shining down hotly on him through his shut eyelids.
The archangel coughed out the dust in his lungs as he turned his body around and pushed himself up, dusting his hands off against the back of his jeans. The sun was shining down way too brightly, bright enough that Gabriel had to squint his eyes so that he could tolerate the sunlight as he cast a cursory look across his surroundings. It was quiet-too quiet-and the stench of blood hung thick in the air. Gabriel made a face as the smell assaulted his senses, licking his dry lips and turned his head towards the general direction of the lone abandoned building nearby, where he could still feel Castiel’s Grace. The signal wasn’t as strong as earlier, now much more muted, but the archangel could still feel it. He had to be close.
Nothing about this settled him though, and Gabriel found himself getting worried for the angel as he walked closer towards the entrance of the building. Something else rankled against his being now, something that caused his gut to churn in all the wrong ways and sent a feeling of dread up his spine. It was a feeling of wrongness, the sensation clawing in his stomach and making his heart beat faster. Gabriel steeled and forced himself to go closer, even as each step grew harder and harder to take, anxiety filling up inside him. Castiel was still here, he could feel it, but sensing it against this storm of other emotions… what was going on here?
He paused at the entrance, biting the inside of his cheek while considering his options. Clearly, there was something going on here-this wrongness was unnatural, and Gabriel wasn’t sure what to make of his brother who was most likely dabbling in this, whatever it was. Should he go see? To look and see for himself what was going on? He may not care most of the time, but this was Castiel he was going to eavesdrop on if he was going through with this. Castiel who was helping him now, Castiel who had always only given and never asked. It felt… wrong, to betray something like that.
Fuck it, I’m going to be gone anyway, Gabriel thought to himself, quickly shaking off the last of his hesitance, and walked through the open doorway.
It didn’t take but a moment after his entrance to know that something really was wrong, as Gabriel pressed himself against a wall and cautiously waited for footsteps to pass by him, unnoticed. The scent of blood outside had now mixed with the obnoxious smell of sulfur, and there was only one reason as to why he smelled that.
Demons.
Gabriel carefully tilted his head out, hazel eyes darting left and right to ensure that the coast was clear before he scurried down the path he had been walking on earlier. There were demons everywhere as far as the archangel could sense with his limited powers, and that was not doing anything to ease the building worry he had for Castiel. All these demons, and the angel was alone-limited as his powers were, Gabriel knew he would have a hard time getting in or out if it wasn’t for his current condition. Still regarded as a non-entity by the world itself, nothing based on this world would be able to register him properly. This was maybe one of the few good things to come out from this, not that Gabriel felt any better. He would still like to be back to normal as soon as it was possible to do so.
Darting down the hall, the archangel made sure to keep his own movements quick and light, playing safe so that nothing would have the chance to spot him. The draw of Castiel’s Grace was closer now, clearer than before as he moved deeper into the building. If his estimate was correct, all he needed to do was to turn past this corridor and-
“-took so long before you finally arrived here, angel,” drawled a vaguely-familiar voice from the room he had just been about to enter. Gabriel stilled, quickly flattening himself against the wall and strained his ears to continue listening. “Almost thought Raphael smited your ass.”
There was a slight pause before there was an answer, and Gabriel widened his eyes in surprise when it was Castiel’s voice that was speaking up. “I had other matters to attend to.”
A snort. “With the Hardy Boys, I assume. I smell Bobby Singer’s whiskey collection all over your coat.”
“Does it matter where I am?” Castiel’s voice was sharper now, curter. “You asked for my presence, and I am here.” Another pause. “I assume you have a good reason for calling me, Crowley.”
Crowley? Crowley? The same Crowley that was supposed to have been burned into a crisp? Gabriel quickly stuffed his surprise back down inside himself, frowning. He should have been dead, all things considered; but here he was alive and well and apparently in contact with Castiel. Something was really amiss here, and Gabriel now knew he had to find out what it was. The archangel took a breath, steeling himself before he turned his head around in order to peek over the side of the wall. True to form, there was Crowley standing without a care in the world as he faced Castiel, a sardonic smirk twisting his lips. “Wouldn’t have called you otherwise, love.”
Gabriel raised an eyebrow at the nickname-he would have noticed if his brother was having intimate relations with a demon-but figured it was best not to think too hard on it for now, and stretched his neck further to catch sight of Castiel. The lesser angel stood ramrod straight, his gaze set on Crowley alone as he spoke stiffly. “You have a lead.”
“Like I said, I wouldn’t have called you otherwise.” Crowley’s smile widened, mirth written across his face as the demon rocked back on his heels, looking far too pleased for Gabriel’s tastes. “Eve is on the move.”
The archangel instantly felt his eyes widen in response to the spoken name. Eve? Eve? What was this, drop bombshells on the poor dead archangel day? First Crowley was alive and now Eve was wandering around the world-the Mother of All was somebody even Gabriel did not want to tangle with, and to hear that she was topside from purgatory-this was not good news. At all.
Neither was the fact that Castiel was taking this news with a lack of shock. Gabriel watched as the angel’s brows furrowed, contemplating more than worrying. “She is the key,” he said, so plain and simple that Gabriel felt like bashing his head against the wall. Nothing about this was plain and simple. In fact, Gabriel was already starting to think that making the Apocalypse happen would have been a much better alternative then what was happening right now. Purgatory starting to get topside, and his little bro working deals with demons? What the hell was this world coming to?
Crowley made a hum of acknowledgement at Castiel’s words, patting down his tailored coat. “Mmn-hmn. My underlings tell me she was last seen somewhere in Ohio. Apparently she planted something or another in some unfortunate truck driver.” The demon made a small shrug. “Couldn’t get close though, so there’s no way of confirming.”
“It does not matter what she is doing,” Castiel replied, turning away from Crowley. Gabriel quickly ducked his head out to hide against the wall once more, hoping that the angel hadn’t seen him-the archangel didn’t want to think of the consequences if the other caught him. There was a long, tense silence, and Gabriel tried to keep his breathing even, not wanting to be found. After what almost seemed like an eternity, he heard Castiel’s voice speaking up again and barely managed to hide the relieved sigh that escaped him. “What matters more is to locate her before anyone else does.”
“Anyone else being the bozo brothers and Singer.” Gabriel didn’t even need to look to know that Crowley was making a face at the mention of the three humans. “You really need to stop hanging around them, Castiel.”
The response to that was immediate, and it was hard not to ignore the hard edge that had crept into his voice when Castiel spoke. “We talked about this before, Crowley. Breaking communication would only raise suspicion on their end. We cannot let anything jeopardize this.”
“Then why the hell did you even contact them in the first place?” Crowley retorted, now annoyed and demanding. “You could have just, you know, ignored them.”
“It was only a matter of time before we would meet again. It would be safer to meet on terms that I could handle-”
“-and just expose your blatant weakness to Raphael, why don’t you-”
“Dean is not my weakness.”
Another snort coming from Crowley. “But yet you still go to his every beck and call.”
There was a long pause following those words.
“Do not presume to know me, Crowley,” Castiel spoke up, and now his voice had gone ice-cold. “I am working on my own terms.”
“If that’s what you’re telling yourself,” Gabriel barely managed to make out the half-mutter from the demon before Castiel’s voice interrupted once again.
“If that is all, Crowley, I will take my leave.”
Gabriel took the chance and turned his head around the bend, just in time to see Crowley waving the angel off. “Sure, go stick your face back in Dean Winchester’s ass for all I case.” The sarcasm dripped from the demon’s words, hardly caring that Castiel now looked pretty damned close to smiting him. “Just make sure you know how to list your priorities properly.”
There was no answer from Castiel except for the rustle of wings, and Gabriel knew it was time for him to leave as well. Pulling his head back, the archangel quickly slipped away from where he had been hiding and made a swift exit out of the building before he brought himself back to Bobby Singer’s place.
It was hard to face Castiel later when the lesser angel arrived for another session of his healing, but if anything Gabriel was well-versed in the art of maintaining a straight face and hiding his emotions. That had been how he dealt with the breakup of his brothers, between Michael and Lucifer’s backstabbing each other up until Dean had trapped him in holy fire and violently slammed the truth in his face.
(“This isn't about some prize fight between your brothers or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family!”)
“Gabriel?” came Castiel’s voice, cutting through the train of thought chugging in the archangel’s head as Gabriel blinked and jerked his head up to stare at the other. Castiel-determined, faithful Castiel-now working with demons and standing all alone against Raphael. Every part of Gabriel wanted to do nothing more than to help Cas, to aid him in the war and put Raphael back in his place; but for all that he had done back in the near-Apocalypse, Gabriel couldn’t find the strength within himself to do it. The memory of Lucifer and the sword piercing through his true form still echoed strongly in his mind, forcing a shiver down his spine.
There was a hand on his shoulder, and Gabriel blinked again, focusing his mind back to reality, finding himself blinking at Castiel’s now-worried gaze. “Are you alright?”
I’m not alright, the archangel thought, but he didn’t voice the words. Instead he closed his eyes and nodded, dropping his hands down to his sides. “I’m fine. Just a little tired.”
Castiel blinked once before his eyes narrowed, the worried frown appearing once more. “You have been using your Grace.” It was a statement, not a question, and Gabriel knew he wasn’t going to be able to talk himself out of that one.
“Yeah,” he replied, shrugging slightly as the archangel attempted to play it off. “I just wanted to see how far my recovery’s going. It’s just been too long, you know?” Too long since he could allow himself to trust one of his family, too long since he could lay eyes on anyone of his brothers and sisters. He had spent centuries and millenniums wandering across the Earth as Loki the Trickster and living in decadence with the pagans, but in the end they could never be his family, no matter how he wished it so. He was still an angel, one with Heaven and the Host-he could never turn away from his home wholly, no matter how much he tried to.
The look that entered Castiel’s eyes with those words was haunted, pained and sympathetic. Gabriel supposed it wasn’t too much of a surprise, considering that Cas himself had spent a good part of the near-Apocalypse cut off from Heaven and Falling from grace. Or Grace, either way. While Gabriel himself never truly fell, the loneliness that they had both experienced was still the same. Away from home, from family, from everything they had once been familiar with. It was never easy, no matter how much one prepared. The solitude of being alone was always the hardest thing to get used to.
Eventually Cas lowered his head, his hand falling down from Gabriel’s shoulder as the angel straightened himself again. “I understand,” he murmured, voice a barely audible whisper. “It would be wise to refrain from such careless actions so soon, though.”
What about you, Cas? Gabriel wondered silently as he watched the angel now preparing for the session proper, thoughts running wildly in the safety of his head. You’re the one working with Crowley and trying to do something with the Mother of All. What are you doing?
There were so many things that Gabriel wanted to say out loud-from his deal to his plans to everything-but he couldn’t bring himself to voice them, couldn’t find it within himself to stand up against the only angel who still apparently bothered about him. He already lost Michael and Lucifer and Raphael to his own self-righteousness. He didn’t know if he could lose another one and still manage to be alright. Castiel got rid of his coat and his jacket, placing them on the chair and rolled up his sleeves. The archangel looked at the lesser angel as he drew closer, closing his eyes to brace himself for the now familiar pain. Dean’s words back in the warehouse echoed in his head again, and Gabriel couldn’t help but let a mirthless smile cross his face before Castiel’s hand sank into him.
Thoughts of Castiel and Crowley and Purgatory floated constantly in Gabriel’s head as he lay in his bed and stared at the ceiling as he recovered from the session, the archangel wondering if there was actually anything he could do. Standing up against Cas was a big no for him, but at the same time he was in no shape to help out either. But the deal with Crowley was dangerous, and Gabriel knew he had to cut in one way or another, even if Castiel wasn’t going to like it. He needed help for this, help that wasn’t from the Winchesters (because they would screw everything up) or from any party that he couldn’t trust. No, he needed-
Gabriel bolted up in bed, the answer slamming into him as clear as day as he snapped his fingers. He had his answer; now what he needed to go through with was the execution of his idea.
He waited for hours before he made his move, only taking action when he was certain enough that Castiel was busy with things up in Heaven and wouldn’t notice what he was doing here. Still, he did take precautions-he made use of Bobby’s panic room (now angel-proofed due to his efforts), taking the chance while the three hunters were sleeping; it wasn’t hard to gather the things he needed for this step, not when they summoned angels on a regular basis now. In less than a minute the spell was done, and Gabriel settled himself on a chair to wait for the other’s arrival. It didn’t even take half a minute; when the sound of wings resounded in the room, Gabriel didn’t even need to look up to see the bewildered look on Balthazar’s face. After all, it certainly wasn’t everyday when an archangel resorted to human summoning rituals to call forth an angel, let alone in an angel-warded place (not that it applied now, since the spell trumped the wards).
“Gabriel,” the other angel started, voice betraying the surprise he was trying (and subsequently failing) to hide as Balthazar inclined his head, regarding the other with a curious gaze in his eyes. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
The archangel stood up from the chair, looking up at Balthazar as he stepped forward and pulled out a list from the folds of his jacket and passed it over to the angel. “Get these things for me.”
Balthazar gave Gabriel another curious look at the request (since you know, one normally didn’t call angels up to be their personal shopping basket-but Gabriel was an archangel and Balthazar had been his protégé, so screw normality) but complied anyway, taking the strip of paper from Gabriel’s hand and looking over it himself. His eyes widened with each line that he read, and he hadn’t even gotten to half of it when he looked back up, narrowing his eyes when he glanced at Gabriel again. “This is…”
Gabriel knew he was going to be bombarded with tons of questions later, but now really wasn’t the time for that-not when he was working on a limited schedule (namely, before Cas could return and figure out what he was trying to do). “I’ll explain later,” he replied, shaking his head as he waved off the lesser angel. “Just go and get those things for me, will you? I’ve got an old friend to call up.”
A skeptical look was given in response, but Balthazar nodded and tucked the list into his jacket. “I’ll be back in twenty.” He vanished as soon as he said that, leaving the archangel alone in the room once again. Gabriel closed his eyes and sighed, settling back down onto the chair and stared at the nearby clock as he waited for the next twenty minutes to pass him by before Balthazar would return with the things he had asked for.
He knew he was going to regret this later.
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