[KHR] The Vongola Falcon Messenger Service - Part II
Now here's the part two! =D Yes, THE Part TWO! I'm not done with you and the spawn of your tentacles, Octopus- head! (- Wait a minute… WTF, that sounded… really wrong…(=.=;;;)).
Disclaimer: I still own my OCs. KHR still belongs to its mangaka, Amano Akira. (Who I suspect is hinting at something what with all those tentacle-related encounters in the canon... Or I'm just delusional…)
Warning: Same warnings as the previous one: swearing, OOC-ness, OCs and additional warnings for misuse of animal box weapons, implied full nudity (-coughactuallyimpliedlemoncough-), mature themes as well as potential spoilers for coming one- shots in the future. =P And as always: BEWARE THE CUTE.
The Vongola Falcon
Messenger Service
Part 2
Written: Sunday, June 21, 2009, 03:43:34 PM
Edited: Thursday, July 30, 2009, 08:05:45 PM
STANDBY FOR TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 012
Time: 010:45:23 PM
Location: Coordinates Blocked.
Note: Surveillance subject # 5988J to be further assessed for potential as Vongola Guardian and or mafia courier.
Archive Summary: Record of alternative timeline for the Vongola Tenth Generation Guardians.
Archive File Status: Downloading 59.961276134 percent complete...
BEGIN TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 012
Gokudera- kun was in the middle of informing him who were the specific sponsors they'd managed to sign on for Ryuunosuke- kun's team for the next season when he was abruptly interrupted: a little gray- haired toddler came running into Tsuna's office at full speed. Tsuna saw his eyebrows shoot high up in surprise when he smashed into to his long legs (nearly knocking Gokudera- kun over) and clung to them, whimpering.
He put his report down on a corner of Tsuna's desk and apologized to him for the disturbance. Then he bent down to pry off the short arms wrapped around his knees. The little boy squirmed to avoid his hands and continued to try to hide behind his legs. Tsuna could hear him murmuring the child's name in a half- firm, half- coaxing tone: "- Come here- Hey, that's enough already- Stop crying-" He told him after he finally succeeded in gathering him up in his arms. "What's the matter with you now?"
The child's arms wrapped tightly around his neck and hid his face on his shoulder, whimpering "… I duun waaan, Pappaaaa..."
Tsuna stood up from his desk and went to stand behind Gokudera- kun so he could try talking to his godson. "What is it?" He asked. "What's wrong? Why don't you tell Zio Tsuna what is it that you 'don't want'?"
"I duun waaaan scoowee- waaaah-!" Came his muffled answer, squirming a little in Gokudera- kun's arms to hide his face again. Tsuna then caught sight of an official looking envelope sticking out of the front pocket of the little boy's jumper. Tsuna gave his godson's father a puzzled look: "What's a 'squee- wah'-?"
Gokudera- kun however was too occupied to answer: "Where is it? You want me to scare it and make it go away? You want me to do that?" Gokudera- kun asked him, frowning seriously (he still hadn't noticed the envelope in his son's pocket).
Tsuna still wondered what exactly they were talking about.
But this was rather amusing… and cute: Gokudera- kun could understand his son's baby- lisped speech a little better now. He didn't usually show this side of himself to Tsuna and it was quite a refreshing from the usually serious Right- hand and underboss persona he paraded around in the base most of the time.
His godson nodded quickly, pouting and his lower lip quivering while he looked up at Gokudera- kun with frightened, watery dark indigo eyes and pointed to the doorway. "Daat scoowee- wah, Pappa!"
The two adults looked at where he was pointing and became stunned speechless: "I'm sorry, you two. It's my turn to look after him but he ran away from me when I came to get him from Lambo," Bianchi announced as she strode into Tsuna's office, presumably in pursuit of the little boy. The little toddler gave another frightened whimper and hid his face in Gokudera- kun's jacket again.
The two men continued to give her shocked stares. Her face was half- covered (which was why Gokudera- kun didn't suddenly faint…) which on a normal basis is good… But then when Bianchi made to try and take him from Gokudera- kun, the little boy suddenly tightened his arms around Gokudera- kun's neck and made a loud, indistinct noise of refusal.
"What's the matter, sweetie; aren't you happy to see your Zia?" Bianchi leaned over to put her face closer to the toddler's. The little fists in Gokudera- kun's clothes tightened when the child tensed and tried to further hide his face in Gokudera- kun's suit jacket again.
"Nooooooowwwwaaaahhh!!!" He wailed."Goooowweeeeeeeeey!" 'No' and 'Go away,' Tsuna correctly guessed.
Ah… the problem was Bianchi… or more specifically…
"Aneki… Why are you wearing that mask…?" Gokudera- kun asked her exasperatedly while trying to keep a hold of the upset toddler without getting choked by him at the same time.
The solution was quite simple really: If she kept it on, her nephew would stop being upset and look at her as 'Zia Bankee' again. However, if Bianchi took the mask off, Gokudera- kun's stomach would be the one to get upset…
When Gokudera- kun's son was a year and a half old, Bianchi had once used her squirrel mask to cover her face instead of her usual orange goggles: What happened was that she had entered Gokudera- kun's office without warning and picked him up from where he was playing on his office floor. She normally greeted the little boy with a kiss but at that time he became very badly startled when he saw her squirrel mask moving very close to his face.
After a few more traumatizing encounters with his aunt in a squirrel mask, Tsuna's godson learned to be afraid of squirrels… Or at least anything resembling a squirrel; Tsuna wasn't sure how he took to the real things since as far as he knew, his godson had never seen one up close yet. And Gokudera- kun didn't exactly help matters by saying 'squirrels will come and kiss your nose' to get him to obey him for any reason.
"This is becoming quite ridiculous," Bianchi sighed after a few minutes of fruitless attempts to bargain with her little nephew without taking off her mask. She then reached up to pull her squirrel mask off.
Tsuna tensed. "W- Wait a second- Bianchi-"
"- S- Stop- Aneki- W- wait- NO-!" Gokudera- kun's face suddenly made a sickened expression.
'Uh- oh,' Tsuna thought, suddenly having the presence of mind to take the little boy off Gokudera- kun's arms before he collapsed on his floor. The child gave a little squeak of surprise when Tsuna suddenly pulled him away from his father.
"GWAARGH!" Gokudera- kun doubled over and fell sideways while clutching his stomach.
Tsuna stared down at him apologetically while his godson sniffled in his arms, rubbing one of his eyes with a little fist and watched his father writhe on the floor with innocent puzzlement.
"Really, how hopeless." Bianchi sighed as she knelt down to attend to Gokudera- kun. ("BWA- Waaaarrghhh-!")
Meanwhile, Tsuna took a handkerchief out from his pocket to wipe his godson's cheeks then took the opportunity that he had him to fish the official- looking letter addressed to him from out of his front jumper pocket.
Reborn- san had something to discuss with him: He thought the toddler's 'mafia courier' game should be encouraged.
"Encouraged?" Hayato repeated incredulously. "Why? He distracts the Tenth from accomplishing his paperwork! That's the sixth time the Tenth has skipped out on finishing his paperwork in the last two days!" Meanwhile, the little boy in his lap pulled at his fingers to get them to unclasp from around his waist, with little success. No sooner did he get a finger off, it would return to its place when he got to work in prying another one off himself.
"But he does deliver to you and Tsuna some important memos unscathed, correct?" Reborn- san looked at him pointedly.
"Yamamoto just seems to think it's cute-" Hayato muttered darkly before catching himself. "Er, I mean… Yes, but-" He suddenly halted when he saw the determined look in Reborn- san's eye. It was that kind of look that meant anything else he said would be ignored and hit man tutor would get his way.
When Reborn- san's passion to teach is aroused, there is nothing on Earth and Fuuta's ranking planet that could ever get in its way…
He then told him that it was an excellent method to teach the child to become even more independent. ("Think of it as a way of teaching him to recognize familiar and trustworthy faces within the Family,") and it would definitely encourage the child to walk by himself (not that he actually had any problems in that area in the first place). He told Hayato that he was concerned because he had observed that quite a lot of people in the Family had a habit of picking the little boy up and carrying him whenever they saw him separated from Hayato or his mother.
Hayato didn't think that that was such a big problem until Reborn- san further expounded on it: "He still shouldn't get so used to depending on other people to pick him up," He told him while watching the toddler still trying to squirm out of Hayato's arms and get down from his lap (He'd given up on pulling Hayato's fingers off him one-by-one). "Though he seems to like being free to move around… And while we're on that topic: Let him go, Gokudera; he's not going anywhere. He thinks any place you're in is the safest place to be."
A little balloon of pride swelled up in Hayato somewhere when he heard that and he allowed the child to get down from his lap…
As soon as his feet touched the floor, the little boy swiftly pattered toward the fenced- off corner in Hayato's office to fetch his talking stuffed octopus toy, Tako. Then two Mafiosi watched him begin to play with the robotic octopus doll for a bit before returning to their discussion: Reborn- san told him it wouldn't be frequently possible for him to keep an eye on his son. He didn't have that kind of luxury like most parents did. It was just as in the Tenth's case: Hayato had to rely on other people to protect him whenever he couldn't. (That little 'pride' balloon seemed to have deflated quite a bit. 'Yes… that is embarrassingly true…' He thought.)
Although, Hayato was already doing a good job in trusting other people to look out for the little boy, his Aneki smiled at him as she said it. Hayato usually didn't give whatever she said much credit, but it was rare that she actually commended him on something…
But Reborn- san then told him that allowing his son to become too trustworthy of others would also make him a susceptible target for kidnapping; he reminded Hayato that he was not only a Guardian, but he is the Vongola's capo bastone. (Hayato wondered if the Don Uragano, Signor Nougat, had put Reborn- san up to this again. Considering Hayato's education on the ways of the Vongola's administration, it was most likely the case here.) Those reasons made his only child an obvious target for rival mafia fif he were ever to go outside of the Vongola's immediate reach.
"Meaning?"
"He needs to be extensively taught how to distinguish what is danger."
"Can't he do that on his own?" Hayato asked, puzzled, as he watched the toddler abandon the toy octopus then begin to playfully tag after one of his subordinates (Mariano) around his office.
The sggarista made a good show of pretending to ignore him while he walked around Hayato's office, organizing papers and books and picking up toys. When he finally managed to catch up, the toddler latched onto Mariano's left leg (Hayato winced a little when he recalled that that was same leg he'd shot by accident a few years ago) and sat on his shoe so he could ride, or rather, be dragged across the carpeted floor while the sggarista walked (… or tried to anyway). It was one of his favorite games to play with the sgarristas Hayato could trust with looking after him when no one else was available to babysit… ("Bocchama, that hurts; may I have my leg back, please?" Mariano asked, smiling in a painfully strained manner.)
Apparently, it's not in his nature… While he's not actually reckless, he's currently indiscriminate with whomever he associates. "It seems that he likes making friends with anyone he comes across." Aneki commented to him. (Hayato then began to wonder if he'd been letting his son spend a little too much time with Yamamoto.)
Did he know that he actually approached the VARIA's Belphegor during the Ninth's birthday celebration in Italy last year and asked him to get him one of the pastries from the buffet table? (And if it weren't for Toph and Kyousuke who were standing nearby (because Kyousuke was planning to spike the punch again- He was definitely going to get a good long verbal whipping from Hayato for that later), who knows what he would have done to him?) Reborn- san asked him seriously. Hayato gaped in shock. (Considering that the little boy looked so much like him, Hayato didn't even want to think what the bloodthirsty assassin- prince could do to the small child if his subordinates weren't there to interfere.)
"What? You didn't know?" Reborn- san then frowned at him. "Ryohei was looking after him during that time; he must've slipped past his watch while he was conversing with Lussuria. (Hayato made a mental note to himself to punch Turf- head's face in when he saw him later.) "He's quite stubborn and independent when if he wants to be," Reborn continued. (He paused and looked over to the toddler and the sggarista trying to extricate him from his leg: the little boy was giggling with delight. He probably thought Mariano was still playing with him.) "But helplessness can be taught and reinforced. I'm quite sure you won't want your son to become a burden to the Family in the future." (Well, that was true, Hayato thought. It would be very shameful if the son of a Vongola Guardian, underboss and capo did not grow up to become a valuable asset to the Family…)
"He's a very good- looking little boy as well." Aneki commented, unknowingly bringing up another important point to for Reborn- san to address. (She was sitting on a corner of Hayato's office desk and wearing a pair of orange ski goggles at that time: she had followed Reborn into Hayato's office when the hit man- tutor went to speak to him.) Reborn then thanked her for bringing it up.
(By this time, Mariano had successfully pried Hayato's son off his leg and handed him off to Yamamoto, who had entered Hayato's office to borrow his stapler. Hayato then decided to activate Uri to amuse the child rather than risk Yamamoto deciding that it was a good idea to activate his fleabag of a box weapon to keep the little boy company.) Hayato wondered aloud what his sister's comment about his son's physical appearance had to do with anything in their discussion and Bianchi clicked her tongue at his apparent naiveté.
Reborn tipped his fedora before continuing to list his reasons for Hayato to allow his toddler son to play 'courier' inside the Vongola base: "His looks make him the kind of target child kidnapping-for-slavery syndicates and sexual pedophiles go after. (Hayato's face drained of color when he heard this.) The black market current estimates for a child his age and status as a Vongola capo's son is $ XXX, XXX, XXX, XXX, XXX. (Meanwhile, Yamamoto playfully swept the little boy up and deposited him inside his play pen. Then he picked up the toddler's toy octopus and Hayato's box weapon and placed them inside the play pen as well.) If anyone succeeds in kidnapping him, that's the bounty that they would be able to get from the Machina family for bringing him alive. Though it's much higher if he were dead… At least that's what I heard from my information network."
At this, Hayato paled: He did not like the sound of that… He looked over the playpen he installed in a corner of his office (Yamamoto was now squatting on the floor outside the fenced- off corner and watching the toddler play with Uri): If war were to break out in the future, how was Hayato assured his son could survive if in case circumstances forced him to be separated from him and his mother? (And sexual perverts and kidnappers after their precious little boy? No fucking way was he going to let that shit happen! Over his fucking dead body!)
Reborn gave him a few hours to consider his decision carefully. "Teaching him to recognize as many Family members as possible will benefit him very much in the future; he will learn who is trustworthy and who isn't. Also, Tsuna's successor has much to gain in the abilities of the Vongola's next generation. You already have the Ninth Storm's support: if we start grooming him in the ways of the Vongola's cosa nostra, he will definitely nominate him as a potential candidate for one of the Eleventh Generation's Vongola Guardians when the family heads meet to deliberate with Tsuna on who among his heirs would succeed him as boss."
Hearing this distracted Hayato from thinking of the safety precautions and rules he intended to teach the little boy regarding strangers and perverts: The idea of his son succeeding him in the proud line of Vongola Guardians of Storm sounded very appealing...
However: "But I'm not even sure if he is a Storm type. And this decision is not only up to me," Hayato replied. He still had to ask the child's mother what she thought about it. After all… he was her son as well. It wouldn't be right for Hayato to decide on their child's future alone. But once he got her reply, he would go and ask the Boss what he thought of his son becoming a Mafioso in the future.
Reborn- san made a tiny smile. It seemed that he understood what he was getting at.
"Don't rush your decision, Gokudera. Think about this matter very carefully. He's still only two years old and it is still too early now to see how he would grow up to be."
It was a silent warning for if they made the wrong choice, there would be consequences to deal with in the future. As cruel as it was, like most things in their world, everything is had its benefits and burdens; for all they knew, becoming a Mafioso may not necessarily the amiable little boy's calling.
Yamamoto overheard their conversation and wondered if, like the mafia game they began in middle school, that the game of 'mafia courier' he started with the toddler would determine the younger Gokudera's future.
The toddler then began to babble to the box weapon, almost as if he were having a serious discussion with it. Yamamoto then forgot about wondering what effect young children games had on them and instead began to wonder if the box weapon could even understand what the child was saying… Who knew what could be going on in that little gray head? How much did he know that he didn't let on to the adults around him…? What did he see with those wide, dark indigo eyes of his? What did those jumbled syllables of coming out of his mouth actually mean anyway? He could only make out a few decipherable words from the two- year old's speech, but it amused him to hear the little wiseguy say "Fwai Uwee!"
'That's so cute…' It sounded almost like the little boy was telling the box weapon to fly…
Then he startled when he realized the he had picked up the kitten- sized box weapon and was preparing to toss it into the air the same way Sasagawa- senpai had been doing with him earlier in the training room's observation booth. [1]
Later that evening, Lambo opened the door to his bedroom in the base and excused himself so he could go to his lessons. Hayato tried to give him a few Yen bills for his trouble but the younger Guardian refused. "It wouldn't be fair," he said.
Hayato puzzled over what he meant by that but then shrugged it off: he had to admit that Lambo had gotten considerably more mature after he'd been delegated the task of baby-sitting as one of his duties within the Family.
After entering his room, Hayato tossed his suit jacket onto the bed without looking while he pulled his necktie loose and walked toward the bathroom. He deposited the tie and his button-up shirt in the laundry basket behind the door then turned to return to the bedroom to get a change of clothes. Then he blinked a few times when he realized his jacket on the bed was moving.
Hayato took his shoes off and walked over to the bed to investigate.
A pair of wide, dark indigo eyes greeted him when he lifted one end of the jacket. Hayato then found himself smiling: "Oh, I'm sorry… I didn't see you there," He apologized and made to pull the jacket off him. The little boy however pulled it over his head to hide back under it, giggling and expecting him to play along.
He listened to his muffled giggles before smirking and deciding to humor him: "I wonder where my little wiseguy went. I don't see him-" Hayato mock- wondered aloud. "… Maybe he… disappeared?" He suddenly smirked again then tickled the jacket- covered lump on the bed.
A shriek of laughter came from under it and toppled over when he poked it. Hayato then grinned and climbed onto the mattress. He wrapped his arms around the lump so he could pick him up and lay back on the mattress so the jacket- covered toddler could lie flat on his stomach on top of Hayato.
The child poked his head out from under the material and giggled at Hayato when he saw him. "Caught you. Now what are you planning to do to get free, you mischievous little wiseguy?" Hayato smirked triumphantly, arms wrapped around the child's middle to hold him captive.
The little child wiggled his arms free from under the jacket to hug him around his neck. "Okai- wee- nasai, Pappa!" He chirped. Hayato could only smile and kissed him on the forehead.
If there was something good about Aneki looking after him while Hayato was away, it was that she taught the little boy manners and respect for adults. He was already naturally affectionate, seeing as he liked to hug his parents when he woke in the mornings, when they came home from work or fetched him from whoever was babysitting him and after they tucked him into bed at night…
Holding him this close allowed made Hayato to smell his hair: He smelled sweet- like honey… (One of his babysitters for the day must have given him a bath a while ago.) And he was becoming more aware of how much heavier the little boy was getting. Hayato wondered how long he would stay this size for him to be able to hold him like this... He was growing up little by little each day…
Then he heard the unmistakable sound of crinkling paper when the toddler tried to wriggle out of his arms. He looked at the toddler's clothes and saw another piece of paper tucked in his jumper pocket…
Hayato sat up so he could seat the little boy on his legs and take the note: 'Italian food for dinner tonight! Write down your topping requests and have the little wiseguy bring them to Tsuna's office so we can order and get them delivered before everyone else gets back here. =D'
He frowned when he recognized Yamamoto's handwriting. '… Stupid idiot; when is he going to learn that Italian food doesn't only comprise of pizza and pasta?'
"What toppings do you want on your pizza?" Hayato asked the little boy sitting in his lap anyway.
"Suusi!" Hayato snorted then gently nudged him off his legs so he could stand up and get dressed into his casual clothes.
"Don't be silly: You don't put sushi on a real Italian pizza," He sat him back down on the center of the mattress. "And why do you like that Yamamoto's sushi so much anyway?"
"Tish yammy!"
Hayato then gave him a befuddled look: 'There must be some way to brainwash him into hating that sushi…' He thought. "I think I ought to have you educated in fine dining sometime soon." He told the little boy seriously.
However, his plan went unacknowledged because by then the little boy had somehow managed to slip his arms inside the sleeves of Hayato's jacket.
"Wook Pappa!" He grinned proudly at him, arms held up and the excess length of the sleeves dangling from where his arms could only reach. "Wook!"
The sight made Hayato all the more aware of how much of he looked like a mini- version of himself and reminded him even more of the talk he had with Reborn- san (plus Aneki).
But Hayato smiled at him anyway: "… Looks good on you," He told him as he fondly ruffled the soft, gray mess on the little boy's head. "Think you can fill in my shoes someday too, hm?"
His question went unanswered however: Hayato suddenly had other things to think about when the little boy found a few sticks of dynamite in his jacket's pockets and wanted to find out what was in them.
He didn't realize that the toddler's 'little mafia courier' games were soon becoming thought of as a genuine mini- mailing system within the Vongola base until Turf- head jokingly pinned a sign on the back of the toddler's jumper, reading: "Vongola Falcon Messenger Service".
Some of his subordinates had seen the toddler going back and forth between his office and the Tenth's and the name had stuck. And some of the members of his crew who were also friendly with the toddler stuck notes addressed to Hayato about changes in schedules and the like inside his jumper pocket for Hayato to find later.
Eventually, "delivery by Vongola Falcon Messenger" became an inside joke among the higher- ranking members of the Family and a new slang among Hayato's subordinates for anything that could possibly need Hayato's immediate attention… Although it was just basically using the toddler to get Hayato to place his attention on a certain project or report.
It exasperated Hayato every now and then to find several pieces of paper tucked in the toddler's clothes.
("What if he eats them by mistake?" He snapped at Antonio once.
The hacker rolled his eyes at him, exasperated with him for the nth time that day (Hayato had wandered into his work area during his rounds and Anton just happened to be the unlucky Hurricane 59 crew member he found first): "G, he's two; he's way past the teething stage and he knows enough by now that he's not supposed to eat paper."
Hayato tried to come up with something else to yell at him; he didn't know why exactly- lately, yelling at somebody was just felt therapeutic: "And if he gets a paper cut?!"
"Now you're overreacting, G. A little cut from a piece of paper is not going to kill him. Sheesh. It's more likely for a kid his size to die of organ failure than from a paper cut." Anton frowned at him and put his headphones back on; a signal for Hayato to leave him alone so he could concentrate on cracking some newly released anti- virus software.)
But still- giving the child a pseudo- chore was rather helpful in some situations: Such as in Isamu's case. He injured his leg in an encounter with the Momokyokai yakuza, and couldn't immediately personally report to Hayato in his office.
While he was getting his leg patched up, he had the toddler ride on Gorou (the Saint Bernard)'s back to deliver to Hayato a written report on smuggled explosives en route to Okinawa (with Mariano following him a short distance away to watch that he didn't fall off).
The massive dog lay down on the carpeted floor of his office and let the child climb all over him while Hayato read the report.
When Hayato finished and looked at where his son was quietly playing, he thought his jaw would dislocate because of how far it had dropped: Somehow the child had ended up under the dog's head and between the animal's giant paws, drool dripping on his head and clothes.
… For some reason, the colossal dog had gotten it into its head that the small child was like a lollipop that it could lick.
Hayato forced himself to calm down then puzzled over how he was going to get the dog away from him. (He sent Mariano away on an errand after getting Isamu's report so he could exactly ask him to help him.) And considering how long the little boy had been around the dog, he would have to give him a bath twice or three times over to get the slobber and the doggy smell off him…
'Dog…' He thought, a light bulb turning on in his mind: Hayato then charged one of his boxes and released his box weapon.
After ten minutes however, Hayato would learn that Uri didn't think his idea was such a brilliant plan because it scratched at him indignantly several times while the toddler giggled as he watched them.
Then there were the non- work related notes and messages again: Kyousuke and Toph had somehow commissioned the toddler to pass notes containing insults to one another across the kitchen table when the two had gotten into another fight later that day. (Kyousuke was giving Toph the silent treatment Toph and vice- versa (Or rather, Toph didn't acknowledge his presence; Toph practically never speaks to anyone in the Family with his real voice to begin with…).
Hayato found out about it when he caught the toddler crawling under the table the two sggaristas were sitting at during their lunch break.
He then had Lambo take the child out of the kitchen before proceeding to verbally berate his subordinates for still having ridiculously childish arguments at their age. (He really sometimes felt like a kindergarten teacher when he had to deal with these two particular sggaristas…)
On the same day, Ryuunosuke (who usually didn't have anything to report to him because his capo could just easily read the results of his job in the sports section of the newspapers (assuming he could wrestle possession of that particular section of the newspaper from the Baseball- freak or the Boxing- freak) or on the Internet) had the child bring to Hayato a can of spam.
When questioned about it, Ryuunosuke started laughing with much gusto: "Don't think so hard about it, Gokudera! You'll go bald!" (Hayato would have blown him up for that, but then he'd have to think of an excuse to give the publicists for injuring one of the Vongola's big earners.)
It took a little while for Hayato to figure out what was actually so funny about having his son delivering spam… But he ended up approving the product's manufacturers as one of the Ryuunosuke's sponsors for the next season anyway.
The next day, several people in the Vongola base learned the hard way that the little wiseguy was capable of giving the whole Family Hell even without meaning to: Hayato came out of the Tenth's office at the near- end of the day to see what had been causing all the noise outside. The Tenth who had been with him inside listening to a report on their financial rackets in the Kansai district also followed him out.
What they found was a nervous I- pin carrying the toddler and standing outside the door, Fuuta holding an ice pack on his head and their current time's Lambo's hair in an afro. Behind them, they saw Aneki hosing down Makoto, Kyousuke and Volante with a fire extinguisher and Toph nursing a stomachache in a far corner. Yamamoto and Turf- head, judging by how much they were dripping water on the floor, he assumed had been soaked by Giannini's new sprinkler system (which was installed just around the corner).
The two- year old in I- Pin's arms happily chirped "Pappa!" when he saw Hayato and stretched his arms out to him, expecting Hayato to come and get him.
"W- What happened?" The Boss had asked, staring at all of them incredulously. Half of Hayato's subordinates present gave a collective groan…
"The little wiseguy was looking for his old man. (Hayato's eyes narrowed in a glare at being referred to as an "old man".) Reborn wanted him to pass along a message…" Yamamoto supplied helpfully while twisting his jacket to squeeze out the water.
Hayato took the toddler from I- Pin and checked him all over for any injuries: He seemed perfectly fine and he even gave him his usual affectionate hug around his neck (Usually reserved for when Hayato came to fetch him from whoever was baby-sitting him after work). Then he checked the inside of the front pocket on the toddler's jumper: True enough, there was a note tucked inside it.
He looked again at the mess and tried to imagine how a perfectly normal and harmless two- year old child (meaning NOT an Arcobaleno) had been the root cause of all this chaos. But he couldn't come up with anything: The child and his clothes were practically spotless.
"How did… this… happen?" The Tenth asked, gesturing toward the mess outside his office.
"He got lost," Aneki replied simply. "… And everyone went looking for him."
The underground base was big; of course a two- year old child could get lost, Hayato scowled. This is one of the reasons why he didn't encourage the mafia courier game in the first place. Meanwhile, the toddler in his arms watched his elders with curious interest.
"And where did you guys find him anyway?" Hayato asked. I- pin sighed and told him…
Then Hayato's gaze darkened. "Boss, please wait for me in the office. This won't take long," He bowed to his Boss once in apology.
After prying the child's arms from around his neck ("Pappa…?"), he asked I- Pin to take the toddler inside his office as well and closed the door…
Then he exploded at his subordinates, Lambo, Yamamoto and Turf- head: "YOU DAMN IDIOTS!!! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS HE DOING ALONE INSIDE THE STORM ROOM??? WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF WATCHING HIM RIGHT NOW???"
TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 012 DISCONNECTED
RETRY?A/N: Other half of Part 2 can be found [ here].
Disclaimer: I still own my OCs. KHR still belongs to its mangaka, Amano Akira. (Who I suspect is hinting at something what with all those tentacle-related encounters in the canon... Or I'm just delusional…)
Warning: Same warnings as the previous one: swearing, OOC-ness, OCs and additional warnings for misuse of animal box weapons, implied full nudity (-coughactuallyimpliedlemoncough-), mature themes as well as potential spoilers for coming one- shots in the future. =P And as always: BEWARE THE CUTE.
The Vongola Falcon
Messenger Service
Part 2
Written: Sunday, June 21, 2009, 03:43:34 PM
Edited: Thursday, July 30, 2009, 08:05:45 PM
STANDBY FOR TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 012
Time: 010:45:23 PM
Location: Coordinates Blocked.
Note: Surveillance subject # 5988J to be further assessed for potential as Vongola Guardian and or mafia courier.
Archive Summary: Record of alternative timeline for the Vongola Tenth Generation Guardians.
Archive File Status: Downloading 59.961276134 percent complete...
BEGIN TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 012
Gokudera- kun was in the middle of informing him who were the specific sponsors they'd managed to sign on for Ryuunosuke- kun's team for the next season when he was abruptly interrupted: a little gray- haired toddler came running into Tsuna's office at full speed. Tsuna saw his eyebrows shoot high up in surprise when he smashed into to his long legs (nearly knocking Gokudera- kun over) and clung to them, whimpering.
He put his report down on a corner of Tsuna's desk and apologized to him for the disturbance. Then he bent down to pry off the short arms wrapped around his knees. The little boy squirmed to avoid his hands and continued to try to hide behind his legs. Tsuna could hear him murmuring the child's name in a half- firm, half- coaxing tone: "- Come here- Hey, that's enough already- Stop crying-" He told him after he finally succeeded in gathering him up in his arms. "What's the matter with you now?"
The child's arms wrapped tightly around his neck and hid his face on his shoulder, whimpering "… I duun waaan, Pappaaaa..."
Tsuna stood up from his desk and went to stand behind Gokudera- kun so he could try talking to his godson. "What is it?" He asked. "What's wrong? Why don't you tell Zio Tsuna what is it that you 'don't want'?"
"I duun waaaan scoowee- waaaah-!" Came his muffled answer, squirming a little in Gokudera- kun's arms to hide his face again. Tsuna then caught sight of an official looking envelope sticking out of the front pocket of the little boy's jumper. Tsuna gave his godson's father a puzzled look: "What's a 'squee- wah'-?"
Gokudera- kun however was too occupied to answer: "Where is it? You want me to scare it and make it go away? You want me to do that?" Gokudera- kun asked him, frowning seriously (he still hadn't noticed the envelope in his son's pocket).
Tsuna still wondered what exactly they were talking about.
But this was rather amusing… and cute: Gokudera- kun could understand his son's baby- lisped speech a little better now. He didn't usually show this side of himself to Tsuna and it was quite a refreshing from the usually serious Right- hand and underboss persona he paraded around in the base most of the time.
His godson nodded quickly, pouting and his lower lip quivering while he looked up at Gokudera- kun with frightened, watery dark indigo eyes and pointed to the doorway. "Daat scoowee- wah, Pappa!"
The two adults looked at where he was pointing and became stunned speechless: "I'm sorry, you two. It's my turn to look after him but he ran away from me when I came to get him from Lambo," Bianchi announced as she strode into Tsuna's office, presumably in pursuit of the little boy. The little toddler gave another frightened whimper and hid his face in Gokudera- kun's jacket again.
The two men continued to give her shocked stares. Her face was half- covered (which was why Gokudera- kun didn't suddenly faint…) which on a normal basis is good… But then when Bianchi made to try and take him from Gokudera- kun, the little boy suddenly tightened his arms around Gokudera- kun's neck and made a loud, indistinct noise of refusal.
"What's the matter, sweetie; aren't you happy to see your Zia?" Bianchi leaned over to put her face closer to the toddler's. The little fists in Gokudera- kun's clothes tightened when the child tensed and tried to further hide his face in Gokudera- kun's suit jacket again.
"Nooooooowwwwaaaahhh!!!" He wailed."Goooowweeeeeeeeey!" 'No' and 'Go away,' Tsuna correctly guessed.
Ah… the problem was Bianchi… or more specifically…
"Aneki… Why are you wearing that mask…?" Gokudera- kun asked her exasperatedly while trying to keep a hold of the upset toddler without getting choked by him at the same time.
The solution was quite simple really: If she kept it on, her nephew would stop being upset and look at her as 'Zia Bankee' again. However, if Bianchi took the mask off, Gokudera- kun's stomach would be the one to get upset…
When Gokudera- kun's son was a year and a half old, Bianchi had once used her squirrel mask to cover her face instead of her usual orange goggles: What happened was that she had entered Gokudera- kun's office without warning and picked him up from where he was playing on his office floor. She normally greeted the little boy with a kiss but at that time he became very badly startled when he saw her squirrel mask moving very close to his face.
After a few more traumatizing encounters with his aunt in a squirrel mask, Tsuna's godson learned to be afraid of squirrels… Or at least anything resembling a squirrel; Tsuna wasn't sure how he took to the real things since as far as he knew, his godson had never seen one up close yet. And Gokudera- kun didn't exactly help matters by saying 'squirrels will come and kiss your nose' to get him to obey him for any reason.
"This is becoming quite ridiculous," Bianchi sighed after a few minutes of fruitless attempts to bargain with her little nephew without taking off her mask. She then reached up to pull her squirrel mask off.
Tsuna tensed. "W- Wait a second- Bianchi-"
"- S- Stop- Aneki- W- wait- NO-!" Gokudera- kun's face suddenly made a sickened expression.
'Uh- oh,' Tsuna thought, suddenly having the presence of mind to take the little boy off Gokudera- kun's arms before he collapsed on his floor. The child gave a little squeak of surprise when Tsuna suddenly pulled him away from his father.
"GWAARGH!" Gokudera- kun doubled over and fell sideways while clutching his stomach.
Tsuna stared down at him apologetically while his godson sniffled in his arms, rubbing one of his eyes with a little fist and watched his father writhe on the floor with innocent puzzlement.
"Really, how hopeless." Bianchi sighed as she knelt down to attend to Gokudera- kun. ("BWA- Waaaarrghhh-!")
Meanwhile, Tsuna took a handkerchief out from his pocket to wipe his godson's cheeks then took the opportunity that he had him to fish the official- looking letter addressed to him from out of his front jumper pocket.
Reborn- san had something to discuss with him: He thought the toddler's 'mafia courier' game should be encouraged.
"Encouraged?" Hayato repeated incredulously. "Why? He distracts the Tenth from accomplishing his paperwork! That's the sixth time the Tenth has skipped out on finishing his paperwork in the last two days!" Meanwhile, the little boy in his lap pulled at his fingers to get them to unclasp from around his waist, with little success. No sooner did he get a finger off, it would return to its place when he got to work in prying another one off himself.
"But he does deliver to you and Tsuna some important memos unscathed, correct?" Reborn- san looked at him pointedly.
"Yamamoto just seems to think it's cute-" Hayato muttered darkly before catching himself. "Er, I mean… Yes, but-" He suddenly halted when he saw the determined look in Reborn- san's eye. It was that kind of look that meant anything else he said would be ignored and hit man tutor would get his way.
When Reborn- san's passion to teach is aroused, there is nothing on Earth and Fuuta's ranking planet that could ever get in its way…
He then told him that it was an excellent method to teach the child to become even more independent. ("Think of it as a way of teaching him to recognize familiar and trustworthy faces within the Family,") and it would definitely encourage the child to walk by himself (not that he actually had any problems in that area in the first place). He told Hayato that he was concerned because he had observed that quite a lot of people in the Family had a habit of picking the little boy up and carrying him whenever they saw him separated from Hayato or his mother.
Hayato didn't think that that was such a big problem until Reborn- san further expounded on it: "He still shouldn't get so used to depending on other people to pick him up," He told him while watching the toddler still trying to squirm out of Hayato's arms and get down from his lap (He'd given up on pulling Hayato's fingers off him one-by-one). "Though he seems to like being free to move around… And while we're on that topic: Let him go, Gokudera; he's not going anywhere. He thinks any place you're in is the safest place to be."
A little balloon of pride swelled up in Hayato somewhere when he heard that and he allowed the child to get down from his lap…
As soon as his feet touched the floor, the little boy swiftly pattered toward the fenced- off corner in Hayato's office to fetch his talking stuffed octopus toy, Tako. Then two Mafiosi watched him begin to play with the robotic octopus doll for a bit before returning to their discussion: Reborn- san told him it wouldn't be frequently possible for him to keep an eye on his son. He didn't have that kind of luxury like most parents did. It was just as in the Tenth's case: Hayato had to rely on other people to protect him whenever he couldn't. (That little 'pride' balloon seemed to have deflated quite a bit. 'Yes… that is embarrassingly true…' He thought.)
Although, Hayato was already doing a good job in trusting other people to look out for the little boy, his Aneki smiled at him as she said it. Hayato usually didn't give whatever she said much credit, but it was rare that she actually commended him on something…
But Reborn- san then told him that allowing his son to become too trustworthy of others would also make him a susceptible target for kidnapping; he reminded Hayato that he was not only a Guardian, but he is the Vongola's capo bastone. (Hayato wondered if the Don Uragano, Signor Nougat, had put Reborn- san up to this again. Considering Hayato's education on the ways of the Vongola's administration, it was most likely the case here.) Those reasons made his only child an obvious target for rival mafia fif he were ever to go outside of the Vongola's immediate reach.
"Meaning?"
"He needs to be extensively taught how to distinguish what is danger."
"Can't he do that on his own?" Hayato asked, puzzled, as he watched the toddler abandon the toy octopus then begin to playfully tag after one of his subordinates (Mariano) around his office.
The sggarista made a good show of pretending to ignore him while he walked around Hayato's office, organizing papers and books and picking up toys. When he finally managed to catch up, the toddler latched onto Mariano's left leg (Hayato winced a little when he recalled that that was same leg he'd shot by accident a few years ago) and sat on his shoe so he could ride, or rather, be dragged across the carpeted floor while the sggarista walked (… or tried to anyway). It was one of his favorite games to play with the sgarristas Hayato could trust with looking after him when no one else was available to babysit… ("Bocchama, that hurts; may I have my leg back, please?" Mariano asked, smiling in a painfully strained manner.)
Apparently, it's not in his nature… While he's not actually reckless, he's currently indiscriminate with whomever he associates. "It seems that he likes making friends with anyone he comes across." Aneki commented to him. (Hayato then began to wonder if he'd been letting his son spend a little too much time with Yamamoto.)
Did he know that he actually approached the VARIA's Belphegor during the Ninth's birthday celebration in Italy last year and asked him to get him one of the pastries from the buffet table? (And if it weren't for Toph and Kyousuke who were standing nearby (because Kyousuke was planning to spike the punch again- He was definitely going to get a good long verbal whipping from Hayato for that later), who knows what he would have done to him?) Reborn- san asked him seriously. Hayato gaped in shock. (Considering that the little boy looked so much like him, Hayato didn't even want to think what the bloodthirsty assassin- prince could do to the small child if his subordinates weren't there to interfere.)
"What? You didn't know?" Reborn- san then frowned at him. "Ryohei was looking after him during that time; he must've slipped past his watch while he was conversing with Lussuria. (Hayato made a mental note to himself to punch Turf- head's face in when he saw him later.) "He's quite stubborn and independent when if he wants to be," Reborn continued. (He paused and looked over to the toddler and the sggarista trying to extricate him from his leg: the little boy was giggling with delight. He probably thought Mariano was still playing with him.) "But helplessness can be taught and reinforced. I'm quite sure you won't want your son to become a burden to the Family in the future." (Well, that was true, Hayato thought. It would be very shameful if the son of a Vongola Guardian, underboss and capo did not grow up to become a valuable asset to the Family…)
"He's a very good- looking little boy as well." Aneki commented, unknowingly bringing up another important point to for Reborn- san to address. (She was sitting on a corner of Hayato's office desk and wearing a pair of orange ski goggles at that time: she had followed Reborn into Hayato's office when the hit man- tutor went to speak to him.) Reborn then thanked her for bringing it up.
(By this time, Mariano had successfully pried Hayato's son off his leg and handed him off to Yamamoto, who had entered Hayato's office to borrow his stapler. Hayato then decided to activate Uri to amuse the child rather than risk Yamamoto deciding that it was a good idea to activate his fleabag of a box weapon to keep the little boy company.) Hayato wondered aloud what his sister's comment about his son's physical appearance had to do with anything in their discussion and Bianchi clicked her tongue at his apparent naiveté.
Reborn tipped his fedora before continuing to list his reasons for Hayato to allow his toddler son to play 'courier' inside the Vongola base: "His looks make him the kind of target child kidnapping-for-slavery syndicates and sexual pedophiles go after. (Hayato's face drained of color when he heard this.) The black market current estimates for a child his age and status as a Vongola capo's son is $ XXX, XXX, XXX, XXX, XXX. (Meanwhile, Yamamoto playfully swept the little boy up and deposited him inside his play pen. Then he picked up the toddler's toy octopus and Hayato's box weapon and placed them inside the play pen as well.) If anyone succeeds in kidnapping him, that's the bounty that they would be able to get from the Machina family for bringing him alive. Though it's much higher if he were dead… At least that's what I heard from my information network."
At this, Hayato paled: He did not like the sound of that… He looked over the playpen he installed in a corner of his office (Yamamoto was now squatting on the floor outside the fenced- off corner and watching the toddler play with Uri): If war were to break out in the future, how was Hayato assured his son could survive if in case circumstances forced him to be separated from him and his mother? (And sexual perverts and kidnappers after their precious little boy? No fucking way was he going to let that shit happen! Over his fucking dead body!)
Reborn gave him a few hours to consider his decision carefully. "Teaching him to recognize as many Family members as possible will benefit him very much in the future; he will learn who is trustworthy and who isn't. Also, Tsuna's successor has much to gain in the abilities of the Vongola's next generation. You already have the Ninth Storm's support: if we start grooming him in the ways of the Vongola's cosa nostra, he will definitely nominate him as a potential candidate for one of the Eleventh Generation's Vongola Guardians when the family heads meet to deliberate with Tsuna on who among his heirs would succeed him as boss."
Hearing this distracted Hayato from thinking of the safety precautions and rules he intended to teach the little boy regarding strangers and perverts: The idea of his son succeeding him in the proud line of Vongola Guardians of Storm sounded very appealing...
However: "But I'm not even sure if he is a Storm type. And this decision is not only up to me," Hayato replied. He still had to ask the child's mother what she thought about it. After all… he was her son as well. It wouldn't be right for Hayato to decide on their child's future alone. But once he got her reply, he would go and ask the Boss what he thought of his son becoming a Mafioso in the future.
Reborn- san made a tiny smile. It seemed that he understood what he was getting at.
"Don't rush your decision, Gokudera. Think about this matter very carefully. He's still only two years old and it is still too early now to see how he would grow up to be."
It was a silent warning for if they made the wrong choice, there would be consequences to deal with in the future. As cruel as it was, like most things in their world, everything is had its benefits and burdens; for all they knew, becoming a Mafioso may not necessarily the amiable little boy's calling.
Yamamoto overheard their conversation and wondered if, like the mafia game they began in middle school, that the game of 'mafia courier' he started with the toddler would determine the younger Gokudera's future.
The toddler then began to babble to the box weapon, almost as if he were having a serious discussion with it. Yamamoto then forgot about wondering what effect young children games had on them and instead began to wonder if the box weapon could even understand what the child was saying… Who knew what could be going on in that little gray head? How much did he know that he didn't let on to the adults around him…? What did he see with those wide, dark indigo eyes of his? What did those jumbled syllables of coming out of his mouth actually mean anyway? He could only make out a few decipherable words from the two- year old's speech, but it amused him to hear the little wiseguy say "Fwai Uwee!"
'That's so cute…' It sounded almost like the little boy was telling the box weapon to fly…
Then he startled when he realized the he had picked up the kitten- sized box weapon and was preparing to toss it into the air the same way Sasagawa- senpai had been doing with him earlier in the training room's observation booth. [1]
Later that evening, Lambo opened the door to his bedroom in the base and excused himself so he could go to his lessons. Hayato tried to give him a few Yen bills for his trouble but the younger Guardian refused. "It wouldn't be fair," he said.
Hayato puzzled over what he meant by that but then shrugged it off: he had to admit that Lambo had gotten considerably more mature after he'd been delegated the task of baby-sitting as one of his duties within the Family.
After entering his room, Hayato tossed his suit jacket onto the bed without looking while he pulled his necktie loose and walked toward the bathroom. He deposited the tie and his button-up shirt in the laundry basket behind the door then turned to return to the bedroom to get a change of clothes. Then he blinked a few times when he realized his jacket on the bed was moving.
Hayato took his shoes off and walked over to the bed to investigate.
A pair of wide, dark indigo eyes greeted him when he lifted one end of the jacket. Hayato then found himself smiling: "Oh, I'm sorry… I didn't see you there," He apologized and made to pull the jacket off him. The little boy however pulled it over his head to hide back under it, giggling and expecting him to play along.
He listened to his muffled giggles before smirking and deciding to humor him: "I wonder where my little wiseguy went. I don't see him-" Hayato mock- wondered aloud. "… Maybe he… disappeared?" He suddenly smirked again then tickled the jacket- covered lump on the bed.
A shriek of laughter came from under it and toppled over when he poked it. Hayato then grinned and climbed onto the mattress. He wrapped his arms around the lump so he could pick him up and lay back on the mattress so the jacket- covered toddler could lie flat on his stomach on top of Hayato.
The child poked his head out from under the material and giggled at Hayato when he saw him. "Caught you. Now what are you planning to do to get free, you mischievous little wiseguy?" Hayato smirked triumphantly, arms wrapped around the child's middle to hold him captive.
The little child wiggled his arms free from under the jacket to hug him around his neck. "Okai- wee- nasai, Pappa!" He chirped. Hayato could only smile and kissed him on the forehead.
If there was something good about Aneki looking after him while Hayato was away, it was that she taught the little boy manners and respect for adults. He was already naturally affectionate, seeing as he liked to hug his parents when he woke in the mornings, when they came home from work or fetched him from whoever was babysitting him and after they tucked him into bed at night…
Holding him this close allowed made Hayato to smell his hair: He smelled sweet- like honey… (One of his babysitters for the day must have given him a bath a while ago.) And he was becoming more aware of how much heavier the little boy was getting. Hayato wondered how long he would stay this size for him to be able to hold him like this... He was growing up little by little each day…
Then he heard the unmistakable sound of crinkling paper when the toddler tried to wriggle out of his arms. He looked at the toddler's clothes and saw another piece of paper tucked in his jumper pocket…
Hayato sat up so he could seat the little boy on his legs and take the note: 'Italian food for dinner tonight! Write down your topping requests and have the little wiseguy bring them to Tsuna's office so we can order and get them delivered before everyone else gets back here. =D'
He frowned when he recognized Yamamoto's handwriting. '… Stupid idiot; when is he going to learn that Italian food doesn't only comprise of pizza and pasta?'
"What toppings do you want on your pizza?" Hayato asked the little boy sitting in his lap anyway.
"Suusi!" Hayato snorted then gently nudged him off his legs so he could stand up and get dressed into his casual clothes.
"Don't be silly: You don't put sushi on a real Italian pizza," He sat him back down on the center of the mattress. "And why do you like that Yamamoto's sushi so much anyway?"
"Tish yammy!"
Hayato then gave him a befuddled look: 'There must be some way to brainwash him into hating that sushi…' He thought. "I think I ought to have you educated in fine dining sometime soon." He told the little boy seriously.
However, his plan went unacknowledged because by then the little boy had somehow managed to slip his arms inside the sleeves of Hayato's jacket.
"Wook Pappa!" He grinned proudly at him, arms held up and the excess length of the sleeves dangling from where his arms could only reach. "Wook!"
The sight made Hayato all the more aware of how much of he looked like a mini- version of himself and reminded him even more of the talk he had with Reborn- san (plus Aneki).
But Hayato smiled at him anyway: "… Looks good on you," He told him as he fondly ruffled the soft, gray mess on the little boy's head. "Think you can fill in my shoes someday too, hm?"
His question went unanswered however: Hayato suddenly had other things to think about when the little boy found a few sticks of dynamite in his jacket's pockets and wanted to find out what was in them.
He didn't realize that the toddler's 'little mafia courier' games were soon becoming thought of as a genuine mini- mailing system within the Vongola base until Turf- head jokingly pinned a sign on the back of the toddler's jumper, reading: "Vongola Falcon Messenger Service".
Some of his subordinates had seen the toddler going back and forth between his office and the Tenth's and the name had stuck. And some of the members of his crew who were also friendly with the toddler stuck notes addressed to Hayato about changes in schedules and the like inside his jumper pocket for Hayato to find later.
Eventually, "delivery by Vongola Falcon Messenger" became an inside joke among the higher- ranking members of the Family and a new slang among Hayato's subordinates for anything that could possibly need Hayato's immediate attention… Although it was just basically using the toddler to get Hayato to place his attention on a certain project or report.
It exasperated Hayato every now and then to find several pieces of paper tucked in the toddler's clothes.
("What if he eats them by mistake?" He snapped at Antonio once.
The hacker rolled his eyes at him, exasperated with him for the nth time that day (Hayato had wandered into his work area during his rounds and Anton just happened to be the unlucky Hurricane 59 crew member he found first): "G, he's two; he's way past the teething stage and he knows enough by now that he's not supposed to eat paper."
Hayato tried to come up with something else to yell at him; he didn't know why exactly- lately, yelling at somebody was just felt therapeutic: "And if he gets a paper cut?!"
"Now you're overreacting, G. A little cut from a piece of paper is not going to kill him. Sheesh. It's more likely for a kid his size to die of organ failure than from a paper cut." Anton frowned at him and put his headphones back on; a signal for Hayato to leave him alone so he could concentrate on cracking some newly released anti- virus software.)
But still- giving the child a pseudo- chore was rather helpful in some situations: Such as in Isamu's case. He injured his leg in an encounter with the Momokyokai yakuza, and couldn't immediately personally report to Hayato in his office.
While he was getting his leg patched up, he had the toddler ride on Gorou (the Saint Bernard)'s back to deliver to Hayato a written report on smuggled explosives en route to Okinawa (with Mariano following him a short distance away to watch that he didn't fall off).
The massive dog lay down on the carpeted floor of his office and let the child climb all over him while Hayato read the report.
When Hayato finished and looked at where his son was quietly playing, he thought his jaw would dislocate because of how far it had dropped: Somehow the child had ended up under the dog's head and between the animal's giant paws, drool dripping on his head and clothes.
… For some reason, the colossal dog had gotten it into its head that the small child was like a lollipop that it could lick.
Hayato forced himself to calm down then puzzled over how he was going to get the dog away from him. (He sent Mariano away on an errand after getting Isamu's report so he could exactly ask him to help him.) And considering how long the little boy had been around the dog, he would have to give him a bath twice or three times over to get the slobber and the doggy smell off him…
'Dog…' He thought, a light bulb turning on in his mind: Hayato then charged one of his boxes and released his box weapon.
After ten minutes however, Hayato would learn that Uri didn't think his idea was such a brilliant plan because it scratched at him indignantly several times while the toddler giggled as he watched them.
Then there were the non- work related notes and messages again: Kyousuke and Toph had somehow commissioned the toddler to pass notes containing insults to one another across the kitchen table when the two had gotten into another fight later that day. (Kyousuke was giving Toph the silent treatment Toph and vice- versa (Or rather, Toph didn't acknowledge his presence; Toph practically never speaks to anyone in the Family with his real voice to begin with…).
Hayato found out about it when he caught the toddler crawling under the table the two sggaristas were sitting at during their lunch break.
He then had Lambo take the child out of the kitchen before proceeding to verbally berate his subordinates for still having ridiculously childish arguments at their age. (He really sometimes felt like a kindergarten teacher when he had to deal with these two particular sggaristas…)
On the same day, Ryuunosuke (who usually didn't have anything to report to him because his capo could just easily read the results of his job in the sports section of the newspapers (assuming he could wrestle possession of that particular section of the newspaper from the Baseball- freak or the Boxing- freak) or on the Internet) had the child bring to Hayato a can of spam.
When questioned about it, Ryuunosuke started laughing with much gusto: "Don't think so hard about it, Gokudera! You'll go bald!" (Hayato would have blown him up for that, but then he'd have to think of an excuse to give the publicists for injuring one of the Vongola's big earners.)
It took a little while for Hayato to figure out what was actually so funny about having his son delivering spam… But he ended up approving the product's manufacturers as one of the Ryuunosuke's sponsors for the next season anyway.
The next day, several people in the Vongola base learned the hard way that the little wiseguy was capable of giving the whole Family Hell even without meaning to: Hayato came out of the Tenth's office at the near- end of the day to see what had been causing all the noise outside. The Tenth who had been with him inside listening to a report on their financial rackets in the Kansai district also followed him out.
What they found was a nervous I- pin carrying the toddler and standing outside the door, Fuuta holding an ice pack on his head and their current time's Lambo's hair in an afro. Behind them, they saw Aneki hosing down Makoto, Kyousuke and Volante with a fire extinguisher and Toph nursing a stomachache in a far corner. Yamamoto and Turf- head, judging by how much they were dripping water on the floor, he assumed had been soaked by Giannini's new sprinkler system (which was installed just around the corner).
The two- year old in I- Pin's arms happily chirped "Pappa!" when he saw Hayato and stretched his arms out to him, expecting Hayato to come and get him.
"W- What happened?" The Boss had asked, staring at all of them incredulously. Half of Hayato's subordinates present gave a collective groan…
"The little wiseguy was looking for his old man. (Hayato's eyes narrowed in a glare at being referred to as an "old man".) Reborn wanted him to pass along a message…" Yamamoto supplied helpfully while twisting his jacket to squeeze out the water.
Hayato took the toddler from I- Pin and checked him all over for any injuries: He seemed perfectly fine and he even gave him his usual affectionate hug around his neck (Usually reserved for when Hayato came to fetch him from whoever was baby-sitting him after work). Then he checked the inside of the front pocket on the toddler's jumper: True enough, there was a note tucked inside it.
He looked again at the mess and tried to imagine how a perfectly normal and harmless two- year old child (meaning NOT an Arcobaleno) had been the root cause of all this chaos. But he couldn't come up with anything: The child and his clothes were practically spotless.
"How did… this… happen?" The Tenth asked, gesturing toward the mess outside his office.
"He got lost," Aneki replied simply. "… And everyone went looking for him."
The underground base was big; of course a two- year old child could get lost, Hayato scowled. This is one of the reasons why he didn't encourage the mafia courier game in the first place. Meanwhile, the toddler in his arms watched his elders with curious interest.
"And where did you guys find him anyway?" Hayato asked. I- pin sighed and told him…
Then Hayato's gaze darkened. "Boss, please wait for me in the office. This won't take long," He bowed to his Boss once in apology.
After prying the child's arms from around his neck ("Pappa…?"), he asked I- Pin to take the toddler inside his office as well and closed the door…
Then he exploded at his subordinates, Lambo, Yamamoto and Turf- head: "YOU DAMN IDIOTS!!! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS HE DOING ALONE INSIDE THE STORM ROOM??? WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF WATCHING HIM RIGHT NOW???"
TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 012 DISCONNECTED
RETRY?A/N: Other half of Part 2 can be found [ here].