[KHR] The Vongola Falcon Messenger Service - Part I
06/21/2009: I swear it was really only supposed to be a cute and innocent, cavity- inducing, K- rated one- shot… But one thing led to another and the rating was kicked up to 'T' (and would have gone over to 'M' if I did not decide to exercise some self- restraint on the funny parts… Prioritize the serious undertones of the plot, Snap, the serious undertones… =P) and got so long that I had to split it into two parts… Working on this almost everyday got me tweaking several things and somehow really brought out the mafia… DX
This is, by far, the longest one- shot… (Now a technically a two- shot…) that I've written for "Declassified". Still not done with the "When the Wind Blows…" one-shots though... XP
Read & review please; at least let me know that a month of baby- sitting a two- year old and reviewing my notes from school actually paid off…
… And a REALLY FRIGGIN' IMPORTANT NOTE: Let's just pretend he survived his wedding day. 8D Or think of it as another AU if the pairing I used breaks your brain. =P (It still breaks mine on some occasions but I'll live. ^^;;;) This fic was actually written for Father's Day ON Father's Day. (But I spent most of the day with il mia padre so I didn't finish it in time.) Ahahahaha… ^^;;;;;;;
Disclaimer: I only own my OCs. I lay no claim to KHR.
Warning: EXTREME AU from the previous one- shot. Lots of OCs, bad role modeling, crime, mafia dealings, a mention of intellectual property piracy (Whut?), bribery (Uhm… yeah… ^^;;;;), semi- nudity (and implying complete nudity later), swearing and child labor (I think… Oo)… and the worst, most dangerous, most terrible fanfic element of them all: teh cute.
The Vongola Falcon
Messenger Service
Part 1
Written: Sunday, June 21, 2009, 03:43:34 PM
Edited: Wednesday, July 22, 2009, 11:07:12 AM
Re- Edited: Monday, July 27, 2009, 05:56:06 PM
STANDBY FOR TRANSMISSION OF ARCHIVE FILE 011
Time: 06:00:12 AM
Location: Coordinates Blocked.
Note: Surveillance subject # 5988J to be further assessed for potential as Vongola courier.
Archive Summary: Record of alternative time line for the Vongola Tenth Generation Guardians.
Archive File Status: Downloading 59.95935846 percent complete...
BEGIN TRANSMISSION OF ARCHIVE FILE 011
It was like he just sensed that she'd left and his body woke itself up. Or perhaps that was because his arm touched the mattress and nothing else. He had a habit of shifting his arm to feel his surroundings before he actually opened his eyes.
Hayato was brushing his teeth when he saw him roll over from side to side then sit up from the bed to rub his eyes sleepily in the mirror's reflection. (He estimated only a few minutes had passed after she left the apartment… but this was a record.)
He quickly spat in the sink and wiped his mouth on the face towel he'd been using earlier. After replacing his toothbrush, he quickly went out of the bathroom. (He wasn't done brushing his teeth yet, but Hayato's priorities were slightly different nowadays.)
He quickly went to pick him up from the bed before he could attempt to go toward the edge of the mattress. Then he sat him on one arm with the other acting as support for his back. Owlish eyes blinked blearily at him and a corner of Hayato's mouth quirked upwards.
"Buongiorno, il mio piccolo Falco," [1] Hayato greeted him, using his special pet name for him.
Rather than his usual bright smile and an affectionate hug, he got instead a wide, sleepy yawn in reply. "… Still sleepy?" Hayato chuckled, fondly smoothing the downy, sleep- tousled gray hair. The little head then leaned down to rest against his collarbone, obviously still drowsy. "Well, you did wake up too early than usual… Do you want to go back to sleep, hm?"
He sat up in his arms while rubbing his eyes with little clenched fists, shaking his head gently. Then he shifted a bit in Hayato's arms, leaning away from him. This was his signal for if he didn't want to be carried.
"Down?" Hayato asked.
A little sleepy nod told him 'yes'.
Hayato then bent to set him down on the bedroom floor and returned to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth. While he wandered around the bedroom, looking in various nooks and crannies, Hayato kept an eye on him using the bathroom mirror. The only time Hayato took his eyes off him was so he could return his toothbrush in the medicine cabinet behind it.
A few seconds later, he felt a gentle tug on one of his pajama pant legs. Hayato looked down to meet the inquiring dark indigo gaze.
"… Where Mamma…?"
Hayato closed the cabinet. (He decided that he didn't need a shave yet.) "Mamma's not here."
"Where Mamma?" His two- year old asked again.
He was still omitting 'is' in his sentence, he noticed.
Hayato decided then that a little more practical language lessons were necessary. He knew that he still had a bit more to learn before he could get the hang of correct pronunciation… but what better way than to teach him to use language in the functional sense?
During the pregnancy and after his son was born, Hayato had played all the Baby Mozart and Baby Einstein CD's he could find legally (and illegally, thanks to the Hurricane 59's newly- formed team of hackers) available in the global market to the point where even Yamamoto got tired of listening to them. And ever since the baby was only days old, Hayato discouraged people from baby- talking to the child… Or more like he expressly forbade (blackmailed and or else threatened) anyone in the Famiglia presently based in Japan to speak to the child in baby- talk. (In the case of his Boss, he didn't blackmail or threaten (He wouldn't dream of it anyway). Instead, he offered to loan him the educational baby CD's, both the legally and illegally acquired, for him to use on the young future Vongola Eleventh, so he could have in exchange his cooperation in Hayato's linguistics education plan for his young toddler son. The Tenth, however, politely refused the offer.)
As a result, Hayato could (proudly) claim his son could speak in mostly full and coherent sentences in Japanese and English three- quarters of the time (and was much more advanced than the Baseball- freak's spawn; Hayato thought he had every reason to be a proud parent...) Although the little boy's Italian was still a jumble of mostly indecipherable syllables… Hayato had yet to figure out what other Italian words the two- year old could already use other than 'latte', 'gatto', 'ho fame' and 'ciao' just to name a few... ('Milk', 'cat', 'I'm hungry' and 'bye' respectively.)
So far, he'd managed to get the child used to speaking in the first person context. (He didn't want him imitating the way Yamamoto's second child talked; she liked referring to herself in the third person like her mother (who still referred to herself in the third person… Seriously, how old did she think she still was anyway?). One play date with the Baseball- freak's kids had nearly messed up his already extensive vocabulary and it took Hayato almost three days (and some 'persuasion' using Aneki's cookies) to get him to straighten out his speech again.)
Another tug on his pajama pants made Hayato look down again.
"I wango Mamma…" The toddler told him seriously. He was wearing a bit of a frown and a tiny wrinkle between his eyebrows as he stared up at Hayato.
'I wango Mamma,' Hayato had learned, after a few times of hearing it, translated simply to 'I want to go to Mamma.'
"Where Mamma?"
"Listen and repeat after me: Where is Mamma? Go on; say 'Where is Mamma?" Since the toddler had asked him where his mother's whereabouts in English, Hayato had decided to use same language for the whole morning. "Where is Mamma?" He repeated once more. Never mind sounding stupid and repetitive, Hayato figured; it's not like anyone else knew that he taught him the regular way anyway.
"You'll sound like a broken record," Doctor Satomi [2] told Hayato when he called her up a few days after the baby progressed from cooing to babbling. "When you start teaching him how to talk, you'll have to repeat words and phrases for him and show him when and where to use them for him to get the idea that they actually mean something,"
Hayato rattled off in one excited breath several questions: when could he actually start? What he was supposed to teach him? What language should he use? Could he teach him three languages all at once? What did she think of combining baby sign language with-
"Slow down, Hayato- kun, slow down! He's only a baby; not a computer you can program! Take it easy and just talk to him normally- No, what I meant was talk like regular person; don't swear or call people names when he's around, OK?"
He would have gaped in indignation but she wouldn't be able to see him over the line anyway.
"I know at least that much," He mumbled after she hung up on him before he could ask her anymore. He was quite sure he could hear the sound of a man screaming and yells of "Straight jacket! Somebody get a straight jacket! Get me a sedative- For FUCK'S SAKE; hold him down-"
However old habits are hard to break… The very least he could do was ask someone else take the child to another room or have them cover his ears in case Hayato forgot about mouthing off in front of him...
Presently, Hayato was just only thankful that the child hadn't picked up any of his foul language… yet.
"Where is Mamma? Go on; say 'Where is Mamma?'"
In the past half minute, Hayato had already begun feeling really quite stupid for "sounding like a broken record". And if the little boy was a smart as Doctor Satomi had told him he was, he must have thought the same of Hayato.
The child continued to stare at him for a few more moments, cheeks slightly puffed out in what appeared to be annoyance before relenting to him: "Where ish Mamma?"
Good, Hayato thought, somewhat greatly relieved. "I already told you: She isn't here." He told him. Then: "Are you hungry?"
The toddler shook his head. "Where Mamma?" He asked him once more, still frowning.
Gah, he forgot the 'is' again! But it was rather odd; he wasn't usually this persistent after being told 'no' once, Hayato thought. He then frowned as well and wondered how the day would go: Often, when he woke up in the morning, he would wear a bright smile and affectionately hug whoever was there (usually his mother) to greet him 'good morning'. Hayato usually took that as a sign that he was perfectly healthy and that he (and practically everyone else in the Family) could expect to have no problems from him for most of the day.
This morning he did neither and on top of it, he was being persistent looking for answers.
Hayato tried not to think of anything that may be counted as a first- time parent' overreacting… He couldn't be developing separation anxiety; he'd been left alone plenty of times already… But he was definitely not acting as cheerful as Hayato was used to seeing him in the mornings.
Or his kid may only just still sleepy… 'You're probably reading too much into this, Hayato.'
The toddler tugged on Hayato's shirt and looked up at him with a mildly upset expression. "Pappa, I hert; where Mamma?"
Alarm bells started going off wildly in Hayato's head when he heard 'hert'.
"You're hurt? Where?" Hayato quickly picked the child's arms up to inspect them for any bumps, bruises and insect bites. The child was just as fair-skinned as his parents; Hayato would have seen immediately if there were any unusual discolorations on him… He couldn't find any and there didn't seem to be anything else physically wrong with him as well as Hayato could see...
'Perhaps he meant he felt sick?' He thought as he placed a hand over his forehead to check his temperature: "No. You say: 'Where is Mamma?'" He told him at the same time. '… Temperature's normal, and he doesn't even look sick…'
Despite the larger hand over his forehead, the toddler continued to stare up at Hayato and ask again: "Where Mamma?"
"'Where is Mamma?' You say: 'Where is Mamma?'" Hayato absent- mindedly corrected him again. He removed his hand and quickly brushed off the idea that the child might be ill in favor of advancing his communication skills.
If he allowed him to keep talking with omitted words in sentences, when was he going to learn to talk properly at all?
The toddler frowned a bit; probably annoyed once more that his question wasn't entertained, but repeated after Hayato anyway (He even imitated Hayato's pacing of words): "Where ish Mamma…?"
Hayato knelt down on one knee so he could talk to the child eye to eye.
"Mamma is going to Italy today." He told him firmly. "Italy. Do you remember Italy?" (He couldn't say she 'left' specifically because the child still associated the word 'left' with the direction of 'left'… He figured the child might end up misunderstanding him.)
"Ee- tah… wee…?" He repeated, staring directly at him as if asking him to confirm. "… Nonno?"
Well, it seemed like he still remembered Italy, Hayato decided... At the very least, he associated the country with Family… The Vongola Ninth had immensely enjoyed the child's company the last time they came to Italy with the Tenth and brought the child along. As a matter of fact, the Tenth had told him that the elderly Boss had asked him if they could bring him along next time. Hayato readily agreed: It was perfectly fine for his child to be exposed to other Mafiosi. After all, both his parents were in the mafia. He was sure she wouldn't have objections either.
It was just somewhat unfortunate that the Tenth couldn't bring his own children along. He was still keeping the fact that he was a mafia boss a secret from them…
"Yes, Italy; that place where Nonno lives." Hayato told him while he mentally ticked off 'Nonno' as another Italian word that the toddler knew. And since they were on the subject of family members, he would have to add 'Zio' and 'Zia' to that growing list as well.
A few months ago, during a trip to Italy, the Vongola Ninth had asked the Tenth about the Vongola's next generation.
He had wanted to see the Tenth's heirs but was getting too old to travel abroad (and the Tenth had yet to figure out an excuse to get his whole family to travel to Italy within the next year).
So the Tenth asked Hayato of a favor: could his little godson act as the (tentative: meaning whichever one of them showed a Sky flame first) Vongola Eleventh's stand- in as the future Eleventh Generation Vongola's representative during the visit to the Vongola Ninth's? (He was only actually asking Hayato if he could loan out his son to compensate for his failure to bring his own children to Italy for a visit), but Hayato seemed to think of it that way…)
Of course, such a request from the Tenth was an immense honor; Hayato readily agreed (after somewhat blowing it out of proportion) and readily volunteered the little baby (who was actually more interested in finishing his bottle of milk and napping over playing 'little delegate from the Vongola Eleventh Generation').
And on that same day, the Uragano Don, Signor Coyote Nougat [3] had, for no obviously apparent reason as usual, popped into the Ninth's estate for another one of his randomly timed visits again.
Hayato had no idea where he was exactly but assured his Boss to keep an eye out for the UraganoDon just in case.
"It's been a long time since a child actually livened up this house." The elderly Mafioso commented suddenly as he came up from behind Hayato while he stood a short distance away, watching the Ninth Boss and the infant in the garden.
Hayato tried not to visibly jump in surprise.
'Speaking of the devil…'
"What about Xanxus?" He asked off- handedly, intending to make a conversation with the old Don and keep him from disturbing the Ninth.
"HAH! I never saw Xanxus a child! I saw him a danger to Timoteo's life and what do you think happened? That old coot hardly listens to me!"
'The VARIA coup d'état and the Battles for the Vongola rings,' Hayato thought. Although he frowned disapprovingly when he heard him refer to the Ninth as an 'old coot'; it was like the pot calling the kettle black.
"But if you want to insist that he was ever a child: as destructive as that Xanxus was, he was incredibly disinteresting. He was no different from the spoiled heirs and boss candidates during my and Timoteo's time." Don Nougat scoffed.
Hayato chuckled a little: "Wait… Are you meaning to tell me he was just no fun for you, old man?"
His senior snorted once and then retorted: "Why do you think I enjoyed giving you problems when Tsunayoshi wasn't Don yet?"
At this, Hayato resisted the urge to slap his forehead with his palm. 'So all this time he was just giving me trouble for his personal amusement???'
"Look at them; Timoteo looks like he wants to adopt him," The older man then chuckled.
The sound of the baby giggling and gurgling floated over to where they stood.
Hayato looked up and smiled faintly when he saw his son while the elderly Mafioso gave Hayato an all too familiar appraising look out of the corner of his eye. (It wouldn't be the first time Hayato felt like a specimen put under a microscope whenever Don Uragano gave him that look.)
"But you don't plan on relinquishing the responsibility of raising him to anyone else, do you, Hayato?"
"I have no intention of letting him grow up without me there to see it." Hayato replied firmly, his hands in his pockets. He continued to watch his son play peek-a-boo with the Vongola Ninth while trying to show that the piercing intensity the elderly Don's stare made didn't make him feel a little self- conscious. (He was supposed to be the feared Right- hand man of the Tenth Vongola Boss, dammit! An old man cannot make him feel like a fledgling capo again!) "I'm not going to screw this one up like he did."
"Meaning you rather keep him in a room full of explosives than put him in the same room as his paternal grandfather," The elderly man mock- nodded solemnly, a corner of his mouth curling. "Excellent parenting skills, Smoking Bomb."
Hayato gave him a confused look; his carefully masked awkwardness showing only just a little. He couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or if he actually thought it was a good idea… 'But how did he know that I didn't want my own father to know about the baby?'
The old Don then gave him a look that seemed to say 'Don't assume that I don't know about these things, young turk.' "Personally, I don't think that's what a good parent would normally do, but who am I to talk? It's only a matter of time before we realize if our decisions are actually mistakes." (Maybe Hayato was only imagining it but it seemed that there was a faint shadow of regret in that piercing old stare.)
Hayato frowned and puzzled over his last sentence. It was true… however… Hayato decided not to dwell on it any further because almost at the same time, the elderly Don returned his gaze to the where retired Ninth Vongola Boss sat in one of the garden chairs and tickling the baby's cheeks gently.
"… Although it is cruel and unfair, however, to withhold from an old man the fact that he has grandchildren,"
Hayato only remained silent, mulling over in his head if he seriously wanted to let his own father know about his son. And what did the old Mafioso mean by cruel and unfair?
The Don Uragano then suddenly grinned, a glimpse of the handsome Mafioso that he had most likely had been in youth flashing in that brief instant. "But that's alright. I strongly support your decision of keeping your little boy secret from him because I really don't like your father at all!"
'So in the end, he's just agreeing with me because it suited him…' Hayato gaped at him, deadpanned.
"All the same however, Hayato: you never know if you can live long enough to keep your own promises. Don't forget the kind of hazards your role and status in the Vongola Family brings to your own family, Hayato." The old Don then suddenly clamped a surprisingly firm hand on Hayato's shoulder briefly. "Being a capo bastone is just as much a difficult job as it as being the capi di tutti. You're in as much danger as your Boss is everyday yourself, Hayato."
Hayato blinked at him once, twice… wondering why he had thought to tell him all this all of a sudden. He couldn't tell what that look in the elderly Mafioso's eyes was… It had felt somewhat like a warning of some kind... Or maybe that was just the voice of experience: Old age had positively not kept the old Don from springing surprises on him even after he took over the job of capo bastone. He certainly made Hayato's path to becoming a full- fledged underboss a rocky one; he put him in several difficult situations to force him to adapt and come up with solutions for the good of the Family: A slew of police bomb- sniffer dogs, a family of modern day ninjas, an Androphobic bodyguard (… who also just so happened to be a really hot chick…) and a semi- hikokomori sniper just to name a few…
Then before Hayato could stop him, the old Don then started on the stone walkway to go over to where the Ninth and the baby were playing.
Hayato once again found himself smiling when he heard the child happily chirp "Nonno!" to greet the elderly Don.
Idiosyncrasies aside, he thought the Ninth Generation Vongola Guardian of Storm was more deserving of the honor of being called 'grandfather' more than Hayato's own father was; never mind the fact that he was old enough to be his own grandfather.
"Yes, she's visiting Nonno." Hayato told him. It was a close enough story... although she wasn't actually there to visit the old Don specifically. The toddler was silent for a few more seconds and Hayato thought that would be the end of it.
However: "I wango Mamma."
"You can't right now." Hayato frowned at him. "And how do you think you're going to follow her there anyway?" He then asked him, almost expecting to hear him say 'I wango Mamma,' again.
"I wohk." The child replied as if it were the most obvious solution in the world. Hayato suddenly found himself chuckling after blinking a few times in surprise: The little boy had just said his answer with such a straight, serious face that all thoughts of correcting the child's grammar and diction somewhat dissipated in Hayato's mind; how could he stay annoyed for too long with his smart little wiseguy?
"You're crazy," Hayato snorted once in amusement. "You won't be able to catch up with her in time by just walking."
"Fwai?" The little boy then suggested after blinking his innocent purple- hued eyes twice. Hayato then paused: Somehow that 'plan' his toddler had actually made sense; 'flying' would be a more appropriate action rather than just simply 'walking'…
"Well, maybe." Hayato chuckled once more. "But not today, piccolo Falco. You're coming with me to work today. OK?" He expected him to say 'yes', just as he always did whenever Hayato told him he intended to bring him to work with him and allow Hayato to help get him ready.
However the smoothly planned agenda for the day was swiftly rejected with one sentence: "I wango Mamma…"
"Didn't I just tell you 'you can't'?"
"I wango Mamma."
Gah… Is this the dreaded "terrible two's" stage he'd read about in the books Shamal had given him for a joke on his wedding day? (Though he wouldn't readily admit it, they'd been an immense help in figuring out how to raise his son when he found out he and his wife were having a baby.)
Hayato tried to rationalize his son's behavior for it to make some sense to him based on what he'd read: He was still only a young child so it was only natural that he would be looking for his mother. Besides, the little boy was very used to waking up beside her…
He truly honest to goodness hoped that he wasn't going to start a tantrum... He didn't know if he would be able to handle him properly if he did… "Look: Any day, I would bring you over to Zio Tsuna's house so you can play with his daughter or whatever it is you do there, but we're short of time right now. I have a meeting to go to and I can't just leave you behind here alone," He tried to explain as patiently as he could. "And we're staying with your Zios in the base for the week while Mamma's not here. Alright?"
The plan was to keep the toddler with him in the Vongola's base for the whole week rather than letting him stay over at the Tenth's house while his wife was away. There's never a lack of people in the base and the security surveillance was around the clock. At least that way, Hayato was assured that someone would always be keeping an eye on him.
However: "No! I hert! I wangao Pappa!"
But he's not even sick! Why was he complaining that he was 'hurt'? Hayato forced himself not to retort with a swear word. He really, really, really didn't want to lose his temper with him… "No, that's 'I want to go with Pappa'." Hayato corrected him immediately. "Now repeat what I just said: 'I want to go with Pappa'."
"Nooooooooooo-!" The toddler shook his head and started to cry. He was clearly upset for some reason that Hayato could not immediately see. "I wangao Pappa!"
A vein must have popped somewhere in Hayato's head; he tried to convince himself not to get exasperated with him: "Don't cry. You can talk." 'Don't lose your temper, Hayato, he's only two…' "
So talk properly."
"Ee- yuh- daaaaaah!" He suddenly shook his head furiously again. (He had reverted to code- switching from English to Japanese; one of the bad habits he'd picked up after hanging out with Yamamoto's spawn a few times.) Hayato at least understood that what he just said was "Yadda," or "no". "I wangao Pappa!"
Hayato was beginning to grow irritated for several reasons: He wasn't following his instructions to cease crying… and speak with the correct pronunciation… and he was going to be late; his kid wasn't even ready to leave the apartment yet.
"HEY, I said STOP THAT!" Hayato said suddenly then stopped as well. Shit. Shit. Shit… He was raising his voice already; calm down, calm down…. The child suddenly startled and stared at Hayato with wide, frightened eyes. Hayato immediately felt guilty for raising his voice. He hated it whenever the little boy gave him that frightened look; it reminded Hayato too much of so many bad things... and seeing his own son look so frightened of him hurt him just as much as the knowledge of being useless to the Boss in the most dire situations.
"Shhh… Shhh… Shhh… Shhh… I'm sorry, I'm sorry… Don't cry, OK? I can't understand what you're saying if you cry at the same time." Hayato tried to soothe him by smoothing down the sleep- tousled gray hair and wiping his eyes with the face towel.
Then he decided to switch to the tactic of appealing to the child's affectionate nature (As embarrassing as it was to say, it worked for Yamamoto whenever he wanted to get the toddler to agree to something). "You don't want to go but what about Pappa? Pappa wants you to go with him; Pappa will be pretty lonely if you don't go," It was so embarrassing; Hayato would never resort to this outside of his apartment and in front of anyone else outside of the Famiglia. It wouldn't do to have certain people in the mafia thinking he'd gone soft…
"I… I wango Mamma…! I wa- wangao Pappa! I wango Ma- Mamma…!" Oh, no… 'Here we go again…' Now he was having a giving Hayato a headache…
… Maybe he should've warned him the night before that his mother was leaving for Italy today to soften the trauma… (Don Uragano was right… again: It was only a matter of time before one could realize the mistakes in their decisions… That old man actually made sense to him; Hayato sometimes wondered why people thought the old Mafioso was crazy… Or maybe it was a Guardian of Storm thing…) And now the little wiseguy's record of never having thrown Hayato a tantrum was officially tarnished as of that moment.
('But why the fuck didn't that last tactic work??? This is so unfair…!')
Groaning once in exasperation, Hayato reached behind his neck to pull his T-shirt off and then picked the toddler up (flailing and squirming in his grasp) before getting into the bathtub with him and stripping both of them of their clothes so they could save time by bathing together. [4]
Yamamoto cringed a little when he heard a high- pitched wail break the silence in the car port. He looked up and saw Gokudera carrying a crying toddler down the stairs leading to the underground base along with a half- filled duffel bag and a baby bag (containing milk bottles, diapers and a GPS tracking device that doubled as a talking stuffed octopus toy, creatively named by Senpai, who gave it to the baby on the day after he was born, as "Tako" [5]).
… And he was an hour late.
"I wangao Pappa!"
"I really can't understand what you're saying if you keep crying like that! Why do you want to stay behind so badly anyway; what's wrong with you?!"
"I wango Mamma! I wangao Pappa!"
"Look: I already told you, you can't. And we're already here so you have to stay here! Nobody's going to look after you at home; don't you understand that?"
"I wangao Pappaaa!" The toddler continued to cry.
"If you keep crying, you're going to get hiccups! Mark my words! Do you want to get the hiccups, huh?!"
"Noooooo-!"
"Or do you want the squirrels to come and kiss your nose?" [6]
"Nooooooooooooooo-!"
Yamamoto shook his head: Gokudera was making up weird 'threats' again… and he assumed that they'd been at it in the car all the way to the base… If it were any other child, Gokudera would probably start swearing his head off. But from the looks of it, Gokudera was fighting a losing battle with his own temper… He decided to intervene before Gokudera did something he might end up regretting later… Like resorting to corporal punishment… Good Kami, Yamamoto wouldn't even dream of hitting any of his own children…
"I wangao Pappa!"
"I heard you already!"
"He says 'I won't go, Pappa." Yamamoto interjected. (He'd learned through first- hand experience that there was a big difference between 'wango' and 'wangao'; it was Gokudera's fault he wasn't paying close attention to how the child was saying it. Although it was somewhat weird that he couldn't quite grasp what the toddler said. Gokudera was quite fluent in a handful of languages. How was it that he couldn't decipher a few baby- slurred words? Maybe he really wasn't kidding when he said he didn't understand most of his baby- talk…)
Gokudera suddenly stopped and stared at him as if only realizing that he was there.
If Yamamoto didn't know any better, Gokudera seemed to be trying to make up his mind… and if Yamamoto really knew Gokudera, he was probably trying to decide whether to bring the toddler along with him to his meeting with Tsuna or leave him in Yamamoto's charge for the time being.
All the while, the child in his arms sniffled and whimpered what sounded like "Muhma" to Yamamoto: His cheeks were already red; he must have been crying all the way to the base, the poor little guy… He was clearly upset over something and Gokudera still probably hadn't figured out what it was yet.
Gokudera then suddenly shoved the heavy duffel bag (containing his things and the toddler's perhaps) and the baby bag into his chest before plopping the two- year old into his arms. "I didn't have time to give him breakfast; I don't care what you feed him as long as it's not Aneki's cooking. Don't you even dare forget that, Yamamoto." Gokudera told him with gritted teeth and then stormed off (pun unintended) in a bad mood, in the direction of Tsuna's office.
Yamamoto shook his head. No way was HE going to forget: Gokudera had told him that so many times that it was practically drilled into his head. In fact, he could no longer count on his fingers the number of times Gokudera had told him to keep his son away from his sister's cooking…
The little boy hiccoughed then whimpered into Yamamoto's shoulder "… I wa- wango… I wango Maam- ma…" a few seconds just after Gokudera took his leave. "… I wango… Ma-" He gave another crying hiccup. "… Mammaa…"
"Now, now- don't cry, little guy." Yamamoto bounced him a bit on his arm to balance his weight with the baby bag and duffel. Then he began rubbing circles on little boy's back as well as his hand would allow. "She'll be back soon, so don't cry, OK? What's wrong? You've got Zio Takeshi here! Are there monsters around or something?"
The little boy shook his head and whimpered. "I hert…"
Hearing that made Yamamoto frown in puzzlement then check his forehead's temperature… No. No fever. So what was wrong? From past experience, the little wiseguy didn't usually say 'I hert' unless he was really hurt…
He tripped and maybe ran into things once in a while (Maybe Gokudera should get his kid checked for hyperactivity? Although Gokudera almost swore his kid was an indigo child once…) but he always picked himself up immediately after. He would only say 'I hert' if for example he fell down hard and cut his knee; but even then he wouldn't be crying so hard like he was doing now…
Yamamoto then strode in the direction of the elevator, shifting the bags so he could carry the toddler a little easier.
"I wango Mamma…" The child still whimpered in Yamamoto's shoulder, shivering and curled into a ball as tightly as the space on Yamamoto's arm would allow. Yamamoto tried to soothe him again while waiting for the elevator. When it opened, Yamamoto found Mariano inside[7]. (He was wearing his eye patch, he noticed. Usually he didn't and only wore it when his capo was around. The toddler seemed to calm down a little when he saw the sggarista.)
"Buongiorno Signor Yamamoto, Gokudera- bocchama," He greeted them politely and offered to take the bags from Yamamoto so he could carry the child more comfortably. The toddler sniffled quietly. "What seems to be the problem, Bocchama?" The young Mafioso then asked.
The toddler sniffled again. "I hert…"
"You're hurt? Will you show me where?" The toddler pointed to his stomach. Yamamoto gave the child a puzzled look.
"A stomachache?" He asked the sggarista. Mariano gave Yamamoto a noncommittal shrug but moved to try somehow alleviating the problem anyway.
"You seem fine to me, Bocchama," The sggarista's voice sounded soothing. "That's nothing. Maybe you're just imagining it."
The toddler sniffled once more and Yamamoto began wiping his eyes with his handkerchief. Only a little more and perhaps the sggarista could get him to finally stop crying…
"Or maybe you're just hungry? You are hungry, aren't you?"
Then the child gave a tiny nod. Yamamoto almost wanted to think that the sggarista was hypnotizing him into thinking he was hungry… Then again, considering his dominant flame type, that could be just what he was doing…
At that moment Yamamoto had an idea: "Hey, how about I take you to the kitchen and we'll make sushi. You want to do that? You want to make sushi with Zio Takeshi?" The toddler blinked curiously at him.
"That's a good idea, Signore; why don't you go and make sushi with him, Bocchama?" The sggarista followed up. (If in the case Gokudera thought about killing him for teaching the toddler how to make sushi, Yamamoto at least had someone to take the beating with… 'Ahaha… Sorry, Mariano!' He mentally apologized.)
"Suusi?" Oh, good, they got him distracted from crying and interested in something else.
"Yeah! Sushi! You like Zio Takeshi's sushi, right? Yummy- yummy!" Yamamoto grinned widely, giving the toddler a playful, squeezing hug. "Don't cry anymore; you're a tough little wiseguy, aren't you? Now, c'mon: why don't you give your Zio Takeshi a nice big smile?" He grinned encouragingly.
The elevator door opened and Mariano then excused himself to go and place the bags in his capo's room. He bowed once more to them then took his leave. "I'll see you later then, Bocchama." He told the toddler. "Signore," He nodded once to Yamamoto.
By this time, the toddler had completely stopped crying… Yamamoto took the child's arm and tried to encourage him to wave good- bye. ("C'mon, say 'bye- bye' to Rino! Bye- bye, Rino!")
"Thanks for your help!" Yamamoto called after him.
"Hic…!" The little boy suddenly hiccupped. "Hic…!" Yamamoto stared at him. "Hic! Hic! Hic!"
… Ahaha… Well, what do you know…? Gokudera was actually right: All that crying finally gave the little wiseguy the hiccups. Yamamoto shook his head and smiled. 'Well- that's nothing a glass of water can't cure,' he supposed.
Tsuna could almost swear that his friend and Right- hand had developed a near- telepathic "baby- sense" (it was like he could just sense if his son was in danger and a more disturbing thing: it was just as acute as his "Tenth- sense".). Tsuna followed him into the kitchen just in case there was a need for damage control…
At first Yamamoto was only going to give the toddler something to eat but then Bianchi had decided to turn making the toddler's breakfast into a contest between herself and Yamamoto to decide whose food could cure her nephew of the hiccups:
Predictably, everything turned into a fiasco and it only got worse when Gokudera- kun suddenly burst into the kitchen, yelling at Bianchi not to give any of her poisonous cooking to the child while wearing a sleeping mask (which looked like it belongs to Isamu if those cartoon puppies were any indication) over his eyes. (He ended up standing behind the high chair and yelling over the child's head. The little boy was terribly startled and looked like he was on the verge of crying… Tsuna had to steer Gokudera- kun around himself so he could yell in Bianchi's general direction.) From the look of things, it was going to be a while before Gokudera- kun could trust Yamamoto with baby- sitting Tsuna's godson again…
While Gokudera- kun was busy mouthing off at Yamamoto for 'negligence', Tsuna covered the politely puzzled child's ears with his hands and mentally shook his head: Gokudera- kun still really couldn't help from swearing profanely when he was very upset over something.
And while his friend and Right- hand was still occupied with cursing Yamamoto, somehow, he and Bianchi got into a conversation about the toddler's clothes: Tsuna learned from her that, as a child, Gokudera- kun often detested the "tacky" shorts and long socks ensembles he'd been forced to wear by their nannies. (At least this partly explained why he didn't allow her to give his old clothes when she had them brought over from Italy to her nephew. It seemed like a waste, in Bianchi's opinion and according to her, "Hayato had looked very handsome in them," so it went without saying that she also thought his son would too since he looked so much like him in the first place.) Instead Gokudera- kun had the child wear normal children's play clothes (quite similar to the ones Tsuna's children wore) so he could move freely and play without worrying about getting dirty (because Gokudera- kun could always buy him new ones or in case the base's washing machines failed to remove the stains or reduced them to shreds because of someone else's particularly disastrous talent at doing laundry).
The child's favorite play clothes in particular were blue denim overalls with a large front pocket big enough to fit a small toy car (or a baseball… Yamamoto had tried sticking one inside the pocket one time and Gokudera- kun was livid with him when he found the toddler biting on it later).
There were other uses for that pocket too: Later that day, Yamamoto came up with a new game to amuse him while Gokudera- kun was busy with work… (And in Tsuna's opinion: it was a lot safer than letting him staple important documents together like Gokudera- kun had been letting him do in the time that he spent awake inside his office.) He tucked in the child's overalls' front pocket a note from Anton to remind Gokudera- kun that his wife's flight schedule had changed. Then he sent the small child toddling into his father's office to deliver it to him while he watched from the doorway.
Tsuna was in Gokudera- kun's office at the time and he watched with mild fascination how his godson would solve his dilemma of getting his father to look at the note. (He actually expected the child to cry, as was normal with most children of that age…) But instead, he determinedly climbed into Gokudera- kun's lap and put his hands on either side of Gokudera- kun's head, squeezing his cheeks and forced him to face him.
It was so comical that Tsuna had to force down the urge to laugh. (Yamamoto on the other hand guffawed from his place near the door.)
"Ow! That hur- Ah…? What's that you got there?"
The toddler said some unintelligible babble, "Pappa- See- yo Suusi…!" Some more unintelligible babbling… something that sounded almost like 'Mamma' (but he was quite sure was not that exact word)and then another happy chirp of "Pappa!"
"I can only understand 'Pappa' in what you just said," Gokudera- kun deadpanned at him as he pried his tiny hands off his cheeks. After shooting Yamamoto an irritable glare, he then sat the little boy more comfortably on his lap. "Could you repeat that more slowly for me? And use English please-" The two- year old, however, ignored him and continued to use his undecipherable babble as usual.
If he were still a teenager and this was any other child, Gokudera- kun would have lost his patience by then and started mouthing off, Tsuna thought. 'I guess this is Gokudera- kun's highest level of maturity.' ("Let me see if I got this right: 'Pappa, see you Susie?' I didn't get what you said in the middle part- Ah… Mamma has boo-' Wait; did you just say what I think you said? Where did you learn that word-? Wait, who's Susie? I don't know anybody named 'Susie'!"
"He didn't say that word, Gokudera- kun," Tsuna tried not to laugh out loud again. "I'm pretty sure I heard him say 'boots'."
"Oh." Gokudera- kun managed awkwardly, looking embarrassed.)
However, a little nagging voice in the back of Tsuna's head, his Hyper Intuition perhaps, was telling him something… It was just a feeling, but he felt that he needed to check for something…
After Gokudera- kun took the note from the child's pocket, Tsuna volunteered to hold onto him while he waited for him to finish (Gokudera- kun had been looking over Tsuna's paperwork to triple- check that he didn't miss anything that needed his signature). Gokudera- kun readily agreed (He was often reluctant and sometimes skeptical if Yamamoto or Oniisan were the ones who volunteered though… and after that near- disaster in the kitchen earlier, it would take a while before he could fully trust Yamamoto to baby- sit again.) and Tsuna picked the child up from his lap. (Yamamoto had left sometime in the middle of the toddler's monologue, saying something about a baseball game he wanted to tape.)
Then he smiled and asked his little godson what he'd been doing the whole time he was "playing with Zio Sushi". The toddler grinned widely at him and then began to babble once more in his seemingly limitless baby language, as if telling him what he'd been doing while he was with Yamamoto while waving his short little arms, gesturing in time with his narration as if for added emphasis on a "word".
Tsuna watched the child's eyes carefully: they were the alert and watchful kind, he decided. He'd come to learn that this was often a sign of high intelligence and he thought that his Hyper Intuition was trying to tell him something… Perhaps Gokudera- kun's looks were not the only things the little boy inherited from him… Then Tsuna began to wonder: what is his flame type? Afterwards, his mind began to entertain several other questions.
Meanwhile, the toddler sat quietly in his arms. He stopped talking after noticing that Tsuna wasn't listening anymore and began to amuse himself by looking at the pattern on Tsuna's tie with fascinated curiosity. A few seconds later, he became more interested in playing with the strange new material over wondering why his godfather was looking at him so intently…
It was still too early to tell, Tsuna finally decided… and his little godson is still only two years old after all… He wondered if Gokudera- kun seriously planned to allow his son to join the mafia... But then suddenly: "Ah! OW! Don't do that, please? Zio can't breathe!"
YANK!
"Hey, what are you doing? Stop pulling your Zio's tie! C'mon, I'll let you play with Uri instead," Gokudera- kun quickly came to his rescue and tried to pry the little fingers from his tie and bribe his attention away from it.
"Hey! I said quit it already! Look, I'll give you my tie play with- Look! Here! Tenth, are you alright?"
But he successfully got him to let go… 'With bribery,' Tsuna almost deadpanned. These two Gokuderas… They were really from a mafia family.
When Baseball- freak didn't have any particularly important messages to give him, he let the little boy scrawl undecipherable letters or drawings on his office stationary. Then he would have him give them to either Hayato or the Tenth. He seemed to think it was cute or something. (Well, it admittedly was the first few times…) Hayato could understand why he should be receiving the tangled lines of color but he didn't think that the Tenth should be disturbed from his paperwork just to look at the toddler's first few attempts at intelligible written communication.
However, Yamamoto's non- work- related 'telegrams' weren't particularly helpful to Boss in finishing his work: The Tenth, regrettably, often got distracted from his paperwork whenever he saw his little godson standing next to his office chair and patiently waiting for him to take the folded paper from his jumper pocket.
… Then he would use the toddler's presence in his office as an excuse ("He's hungry," "He's bored," "He wants me to play with him,") to get away from his paperwork, much to Hayato's exasperation. So Hayato tried to discourage Yamamoto from making his son a little envoy for his nonsense. As amusing as it was the first few times, he thought it was too early to give such a chore to the child since he was only two… Although quite a lot of people in the Family thought it was cute that his toddler was playing 'mafia courier' between him, Yamamoto and the Tenth.
He almost startled he realized that the toddler was standing next to his chair and clutching a handful of crayons and some semi- crumpled sheets of paper. He didn't hear him walk up to him at all…
"What's that you've got there?" He smiled and swiveled his chair so he could face him.
The two- year old grinned adorably at him and gave him one of the papers.
Hayato took it and wondered what exactly the lines and circles he'd drawn actually were: The rough- looking gray and green oblong reminded Hayato a bit of a cockroach… He would have thought it was a sun because of the lines going outwards from it if it weren't for the red and black lines placed underneath it… But then again, they could be just sticks or something… Hayato wondered what all that red scattered all over the rest of the space was. And there was a bright orange spot on top of the gray and green cockroach shape.
"Who is this?" Hayato asked, deciding to assume that he had drawn a person.
He seemed to like drawing people (mostly family members and Family members) a lot lately.
"Tish Pappa!" His little wiseguy declared, grinning proudly. Hayato knew that he wasn't capable of drawing this much at this level by himself. (Most likely he had help from Mariano again… The sggarista was often his co- artist in his more complicated drawings.)
'But it still looks nothing like me…' Hayato thought, still wearing his faked smile. "And what's this orange thing?" He then asked, pointing to the orange spot.
"Tish Uwee!" 'Uri,' Ah… He should have known. He supposed it was safe to assume that the red scattered on the paper were storm flames. Perhaps this was an illustration of the training exercise he'd done earlier in the Storm Room? He left the child in the observation room with the Tenth after all…
"And what's that other one?" Hayato asked pointing to the other paper. It had a similar looking drawing but with a brown cockroach- shaped head and another orange spot. Instead of red scattered all over the paper there were orange squiggles dominating the space.
"Tish See- yo Tuh- na!" Then he babbled something Hayato could only half- understand. But it seemed that he had drawn the Tenth doing his new technique during the training exercise. Hayato's half- forced smile then became a genuine one.
"Are you going to give that one to him later?" He asked him. The toddler suddenly launched another long, winding speech made up of garbled syllables and some intelligible Italian, Japanese and English words while Hayato sat in his office chair, wondering what exactly was he telling him and wondering how long he was going to keep talking…
And then suddenly: "Bai- bai-!"
Hayato nearly fell out of his chair. "Ehhhhhh? You're done already? But what was that? I didn't understand a thing you just said!" He called after him. "HEY!"
But the toddler had already long run out of his office, presumably to the Tenth's (just across the corridor), to deliver his second drawing to its intended recipient.
Hayato then leaned back in his chair and quietly laughed to himself… Two years old and already quite a character; he could see why the Ninth Boss thought he was more amusing than the child Xanxus (whom he heard never even smiled once).
Maybe he could let it slide just this once: Perhaps tomorrow he might forget all about the 'mafia courier game' altogether? It was only just for one day; and what harm could having the toddler walk (or rather running) across the corridor to give the Tenth a few crudely done portraits do?
… But it was definitely a better game than the one where Yamamoto's dog slobbered all over him when they play- wrestled for a baseball… (That was the last time he would let Yamamoto use his box weapon to amuse his son.)
Hayato then put the new drawing along on top of the pile of several seemingly randomly drawn squiggles and scribbles he'd gotten earlier in one of his desk drawers to show to her when she returned to Japan that weekend. Then he thought about investing in a good supply of sturdy kitchen magnets for their refrigerator back in their apartment; the place could use a little more domestic touch.
TRANSMISSION OF ARCHIVE FILE 011 DISCONNECTED
A/N: Happy (super- over- belated) Father's Day! XP
The Vongola Falcon Messenger/ Little Wiseguy/ Little Falcon (piccolo falco): Falcons were used as messenger birds in ancient times... By the ancient Egyptians and Greeks and other cultures that took up falconry. (Well, whatever; I just think falcons are cool. 8P) This is just based on another one of my messed up wordplays. (Like " Maid-of-Honor"; see my notes.) I based this original character's personality and overall characterization off a birthday astrology page I found when I wrote in "Apologies for the Five- Minute Blame Game" that his birthday is on Guy Fawkes' Night (November 5th). Tested him with the same litmus paper test I used on Kyousuke and came out as a non- Mary- Sue (Damn, I missed again! How does one really go about making a Mary- Sue anyway?) But he's really still technically nameless… =.=;;; (Damn it… Why is it so hard to come up with a name for him??? OTL)
[1] "Buongiorno, il mio piccolo Falco": [Italian] "Good morning, my little Falcon." (Now imagine Goku Pappa carrying his sleepy little baby and saying that with a smile… Awwwwww…)
[2] Doctor Satomi: First mentioned in "When the Wind Blows, the Cradle Will Rock- Part 1", appeared briefly in "Maid-of-Honor" and featured in "Note Musicali's" drabble number 15: "Art of War".
[3] Don Uragano: First mentioned in " Maid-of-Honor"… is it weird to say that my current favorite OC is an idiosyncratic old man with gray hair, who is a bit of an asshole and likes to antagonize most people for little to no reason at all? ^^;;;; (Although his physical description sounds a lot like Gokudera's…) I have no idea if the Ninth's Guardians are still alive, but I thought it would be pretty cool if some of them still were. ^^; (So we can have a senior citizen smackdown later!?!) 'Uragano' is the Italian word for 'Hurricane' (… I never claimed I had the best and most creative naming sense… I mean, my main fic is titled "The Right Rewrite of Right"… WTF… OTL OTL OTL) and it is not his surname. 'Uragano' is the name of his sub- famiglia. He's still actually nameless. (=.=;;;) OH, HELL YEAH! GRANDPA 59-lookalike NINTH STORM IS CANON NOW! \(^A^)/
[4] Bath time: Apparently it's normal for one parent to bathe in the bathtub with their kid (while they're still small) in Japan.
[5] "Tako the Octopus"(TM) Toy: OTL Really, what is with my naming skills nowadays…? Anyway, "Tako the Tako" (supposedly) talks and has a GPS tracking device inside it. I'm still trying to decide whether to make it a robotic toy. According to the one- shot, Ryohei gave it to the baby the day after he was born. It's a soft, lightweight, hypoallergenic stuffed toy, custom- made in the Vongola's weapons development department's laboratories, has a simple AI programmed with a database of 500 words and counting as well as simple but upgradeable encyclopedias, voice activation and recognition software and is guaranteed to amuse your baby (and your fellow Guardians at your personal expense. -coughOfcourseI'mreferringtoyouTako-headcough-).
[6] Squirrels will come and kiss your nose: I heard it from one of my uncles whenever he's trying to get one of my cousins to stop crying. It never fails to make me laugh. XDDD
[7] "Mariano": He wears an eye- patch over his left eye on some occasions. First appeared in "T.R.R.o.R.'s" Rewrite 002, is the main narrator of "Article 1" of "La Rottura di Omérta", and briefly appeared in " Apologies for the Five- Minute Blame Game". He is also Gokudera Junior's favorite baby-sitter/bodyguard out of all of his dad's subordinates (… and your favorite 'uncle' is Zio Muko (Ref: "Code of Silence" drabble number 45 "Innocent")… Interesting choice of playmates you have there, Gokudera- bocchan…).
Part 2 HERE