Unhealthy.

[inkpots]

there's no stronger love than the one you have for the ones who took care of you since day one.. except maybe the one you can have for a sibling (though not necessarily everyone would agree). it doesn't mean i'd put up with my mom yelling her head off at me for something i did, or did not do. it doesn't mean i won't retort with the single purpose of pissing her off.

but i think i would change my world for them (at least now).

i wonder though; does this somehow mean that i'm no longer who i am or whom i used to be? and is this bad in any way? am i not being true to myself?

i've never liked change. i've always stuck to what i want to do most, taking it one day at a time, living life free and easy. i'm not often smart or careful, but i can say i'm happy. i was happy. i will be happy. but if i'm going to be different, will i still be happy?

have you ever been truly selfless; done something for someone else without thinking of yourself or consequences and even knowing that you're not happy later, you'd rather have done it than not? i think i can count the number of times i've been that selfless on one hand. i'm not proud of it. but maybe it's time to count my blessings and start repaying all of that back.

i don't like this. but i'll do it.

feels like i'm going to be back here again soon enough. =\