Ooh yes. I know the feeling. I'll quite happily be getting on with my life here, and then suddenly I'll mention going somewhere to my mum, and she'll say 'Hmm, well, just make sure you get home safely, won't you'. And I get really irrationally annoyed by that, because I'm nearly 30 and I've been living in London for 9 years and I think I know how to take care of myself by now
( ... )
Ok, your parents crossed the line with the morgue story; but I can tell you as the parent of an adult (who is 23), that you really do worry! It has nothing to do with questioning your competence, honestly. It has to do with worrying that a horrible accident or event may have happened to you that was beyond your control. When I worry about my son, I worry that perhaps he was hit by a car, or was mugged and is lying in the hospital unable to communicate, or something like that. I also worry about my husband if he's very much later than expected.
I can understand your perspective as well. I'm sure it feels to you as if your parents worry that you're not capable of taking care of things yourself, but I really doubt that's it.
I just wanted to perhaps give a bit of insight into how a parent's mind works!
Thanks for chiming in with the other side of the story. I know you mean nothing but well with your response but I have to say - and please believe I'm aiming for honest rather than rude - that it feels a bit patronising to me. I know, know, know you don't mean it to but I know they worry. I also know they project their worry on to me in a way which makes me feel as though I've done something wrong. It is not okay.
I understand it has nothing to do with them not believing I can live my life. There are several other layers of 'why this aggravates me' hell and it has a lot to do with them giving me no parenting and guidance in my formative years when I needed it. It is inappropriate for them to bring 'wall of worry' to my doorstep in such an intense way now.
Oh goodness, they never let us grow up, do they? My mom used to be the same way but is not so bad now, somehow.
I know this wasn't the main point of your post, but the story about the crowds laughing and taking pictures at the accident scenes really kind of freaks me out. Of course it's human nature to look, but if you can't help you should at least get out of the way of the police/ambulance/fire people.
I know, I know. I can't even process what the hell is happening with the crowds at accident scenes. Until I Google'd this news report today to find out exactly what on earth she was talking about, I'd have asserted that it was 'the Australian Way' to pitch in and help. I cannot fathom an instance wherein someone didn't take a bottle of water to him and hold his hand giving comfort while he died.
This 'citizen journalist' thing the internet has created has changed us it seems and not for the better.
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I can understand your perspective as well. I'm sure it feels to you as if your parents worry that you're not capable of taking care of things yourself, but I really doubt that's it.
I just wanted to perhaps give a bit of insight into how a parent's mind works!
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I understand it has nothing to do with them not believing I can live my life. There are several other layers of 'why this aggravates me' hell and it has a lot to do with them giving me no parenting and guidance in my formative years when I needed it. It is inappropriate for them to bring 'wall of worry' to my doorstep in such an intense way now.
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I know this wasn't the main point of your post, but the story about the crowds laughing and taking pictures at the accident scenes really kind of freaks me out. Of course it's human nature to look, but if you can't help you should at least get out of the way of the police/ambulance/fire people.
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This 'citizen journalist' thing the internet has created has changed us it seems and not for the better.
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