Sent (Sequel to "But Not Tonight")

Feb 15, 2013 22:47

Title: Sent
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: R
Warnings: Swearing
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior or make any profit on this fic
Summary: This is a sequel to But Not Tonight



Heechul reached over, picked up the bottle of soju and poured himself some more. Across from him, Yesung eyed him closely.

“That’s your third bottle.”

“I know.” Heechul said, lifting it and swallowing nearly the whole thing. Yesung wondered what had happened to make Heechul want to get so stinking drunk that he forgot whatever it was.

“What happened?” Yesung asked, feeling pretty tipsy himself. It was unusual for Heechul to invite Yesung out with him. It wasn’t that they didn’t get along, but they didn’t usually hang out like this.

Heechul looked up at him and swallowed thickly. Already his eyes looked glassy and unfocused, and Yesung wondered how long Heechul had been drinking before they got here. The restaurant was nearly empty, and they had worn their baseball caps and street clothes as to not be recognized. So far, it was working, but if Heechul passed out here, Yesung would have a hell of a time getting him back to the dorm without help.

“China happened, Yesung.”

Yesung sighed, knowing full well why Heechul had dragged him here to get so drunk. Yesung hefted his bottle of soju and clinked it against Heechul’s.

“Got that right.”

“Every...damn...time I think maybe I’ll be okay, China goes and fucks things up. First they send...” he paused, looking dizzy, but gripped the tabletop and took a deep breath to steady himself. “Him. They send him and I’m fine, and things are fine, then they take him away and the rest of them with him! For months! Leaving us here alone!”

“Teukie was with us then.” Yesung reminded Heechul, but the second he said it he regretted it, as Heechul just looks pained at the loss of not only his lover but his best friend too.

“And then they send us Zhou Mi, who is like.....fucking awesome, but Kyuhyun goes and falls in love with him and breaks Sungmin’s heart. And THEN Zhou Mi goes back to China and everything is awkward and awful and everyone is torn and Kyuhyun is a mess and nobody knows how to feel. And then...” Heechul paused again, gripping his bottle of soju like it is a lifeline. “Then He left, and went back to China. And I couldn’t.....” He stopped, looked away and closed his eyes. “Now Teukie is gone, and they’re in China again....and I hate it. I hate this. Why does China ruin everything?” He finished, his words slurring together heavily.

“I don’t know, hyung.” Yesung said, even though his lips were starting to feel numb. “We should go home before you pass out, though.”

“I want to pass out.” Heechul mumbled incoherently. Yesung stood and pulled him up, and Heechul fell against him, wheezing and groaning, gripping his head. “And I might.”

Yesung pushed and pulled and tugged and managed to get Heechul out of the restaurant and into a cab. When he got in behind him, Heechul had pulled out his phone and was shoving it in Yesung’s face.

“See? See this? Look at me, I looked so young and happy. And look at ‘Kyung...he was smiling. Fuck...Yesung...why can’t I let him go?” Heechul showed him a picture of he and HanGeng together, looking happy. Yesung sighed and gave the address to the cabbie and sat back, eyeing Heechul to make sure he didn’t throw up or pass out. The cabbie was giving him dirty looks and Yesung grimaced.

“Just...don’t pass out yet, ok? Wait til we’re home.”

Heechul mumbled something Yesung didn’t quite catch, and he watched as Heechul’s fingers fumbled on the keypad of his phone. Yesung wondered if Heechul was drunk-texting or drunk dialing someone. He got ready to yank his phone away in case Heechul did something he would regret later, but the cab turned a hard left and Yesung’s stomach roiled...the alcohol he had consumed was making it hard to concentrate.

“Hyung...don’t call anyone, ok? They’ll just worry...” Yesung began, but Heechul’s eyelids fluttered and he slumped against the seat. Yesung sighed, knowing he would be hauling Heechul into the dorm building. He reached over and removed the phone from Heechul’s grip and looked at they display. A text message showed the last thing Heechul had sent, and Yesung’s heart dropped into his toes as he saw who it was to and what it said.

Forgive everything I said and did. Tell me you love me. Come back.

The message had been sent to HanGeng right before Heechul passed out. He looked at his friend and wondered what would happen when HanGeng received the message. But it was too late to take it back, and now the only thing he could do was wait and see if HanGeng answered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heechul awoke slowly to the sound of drums, and they got louder and louder with every second. His stomach lurched and he sat up, knowing he only had seconds to make a dash for the bathroom. He made a run for it and just barely made it as his body rejected all the alcohol he had consumed the night before.

The drums persisted inside his head, making him feel like every sound, movement or sliver of light was intent on torturing him, but at least his stomach had settled. He made his way gingerly to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and saw Yesung sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a mug of coffee.

“I made some for you.” He whispered, nodding his head at the pot of strong black coffee on the counter. Heechul nodded gratefully, pouring himself some and sitting down carefully. The moment the coffee hit his tastebuds he felt his body react, simultaneously shuddering and feeling relief from the pressure in his skull.

“Ugh. I drank way too much.” He moaned, rubbing his temple.

“I think you should know something.” Yesung said, not wanting to waste any time. Heechul deserved to know.

“Hmm?” Heechul looked up, running his hands through his hair and trying to finish waking up and stop feeling like the bottom of someone’s shoe.

“I don’t know if you remember what happened in the cab...” Yesung began, and Heechul had a moment of panic, wondering if he had kissed Yesung in some crazed, drunken attempt to make himself feel better. His brain refused to recall any memories between the restaurant and this moment.

“Oh God what did I do?” Heechul gulped. Yesung bit his lip and handed Heechul’s phone to him. Alarm skittered down his spine as he took it. Had he drunk dialed someone? Oh God......did I....

Heechul saw the text message he had composed a few weeks ago on Valentines Day to HanGeng. The message was no longer in the ‘compose’ stage. It had been sent.

Heechul stared in horror at the message he had never meant to send. Below his drunken confession, four words had come back in response.

We need to talk.

Heechul stared at his phone until his eyes began to sting and blur from not blinking.

“I tried to stop you.” Yesung said quietly. “But you hit send before I knew what you were doing.”

Heechul could feel his fingers going numb from gripping his phone so hard. A part of him wanted to fling it away from him and run like hell and another part of him wanted so badly to hope.

Yesung watched all the emotions flicker over Heechul’s face like he was watching a movie screen. He stood up and squeezed Heechul’s shoulders. “I think you should call him.” He said quietly, and then left the kitchen, leaving Heechul alone to his fear and hesitation.

It was too late to take it back. It was too late to laugh it off like it was nothing. It was too late to pretend like it was a joke or that he didn’t mean it. The words were too raw to be anything but the truth.

For the first time in a long time, Kim Heechul did not know what to do. Either this would be the end of everything....a conversation that would end in grief and bitterness, or it would end with hope. He did not know which scared him more.

He had been drunk last night when his fingers had hit send, but this morning he was sober when his fingers hit the call button.

An eon passed as the phone rang, and a dread began to fill him that HanGeng’s voice mail would come on, and he would never work up the courage to do this again. But then the line clicked, the ringing stopped, and he heard HanGeng’s voice for the first time in what seemed like forever.

“Heechul.” HanGeng said quietly. The sound of HanGeng saying his name felt like a million butterflies in the back of his throat.

He could not make a sound.

“I got your text message last night.” HanGeng said, sounding hesitant.

“I was drunk.” Heechul whispered thickly.

“Oh.” HanGeng said softly, sounding sad and disappointed. “I thought...”

“I meant it.” Heechul interrupted him, his fingers twisting his shirt out of nervous habit. There was silence on the other end of the line. The seconds turned into sonic booms in his head, ticking away at him until he thought he would go mad with it. “Please...say something.” he blurted out, desperate to break the silence.

“Heechul...” HanGeng’s voice sounded quiet and sad, and it carved deep gouges in Heechul’s heart. He knew he would not be able to hear HanGeng say it. He should have known better. HanGeng had a life in China now. He wasn’t coming back to Korea. It was over, and like a fool he had let himself wonder and begin to hope that there was a chance. “I forgive you. I forgave you years ago for the things you said that night. I hurt you and you were trying to protect yourself. I don’t hold it against you.”

Heechul closed his eyes, bitter memories floating to the surface of the night HanGeng left Korea for good.

“You don’t have to--” Heechul began, but HanGeng cut him off.

“I can’t come back. I’m sorry. I would if I could, but it can’t be like it was anymore. They would never let me back after the lawsuit.”

Heechul stumbled over his words, feeling desperate to stop HanGeng before he said any more. “I know that...I was drunk when--”

But Geng pressed on, interrupting him again. “But I love you.”

All the words in Heechul’s mouth died on his lips as he struggled to believe what he’d just heard. Silence crackled over the phone lines as he absorbed the words, feeling them healing all the doubt and pain of so many years spent alone, wondering if HanGeng still loved him. And here it was.

“I love you, Heechul. I’ve been waiting for you to call or text me so I could tell you that. All this time I thought you had gotten over me.”

Heechul could feel his throat closing up, and the light inside his chest felt too bright to contain. He swallowed.

“No. I haven’t. Can I come see you when they release me?” He asked, amazed that he didn’t sound as pathetic as he felt.

“Yes. I want you to.”

“But I hate China.” he said, and HanGeng laughed. There was hope again, and the darkness he’d been living in for so long felt as if it were ebbing away. He felt like himself again. It had been a long time.

“That’s okay, China loves you anyway.” HanGeng said. Heechul smiled, closed his eyes and said it.

“That’s good, because I love you too.”

The End

(Sappy ending is sappy)

hanchul

Previous post Next post
Up