But Not Tonight
Title: But Not Tonight
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: PG
Genre: Ficlet
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior and I make no profit from this fic
Summary: Heechul spends Valentines Day alone
"Are you going out tonight?" Sungmin asks, leaning in the doorframe of my bedroom.
"No." I say, carefully schooling my voice to nonchalance. I snap my wrist on the mouse and succeed in killing a bunch of zombies on the screen, the light flashing and illuminating the room for a split second before it goes dark again.
"You can come with us." Sungmin says softly, but I shake my head. I don't want to go to their 'I don't have a partner on Valentines Day so I am going to make it okay by hanging out with everyone else who doesn't' dinner.
Sungmin sighs softly but I know he didn't expect me to say yes. Valentines Day and I don't get along. I spent the day with my nose in a computer at the SungDong offices and now my nose is in my laptop so that I can avoid the memories and the dull ache of being alone on a holiday meant for couples.
"See you later, hyung." He says. I wave but don't look up. I feel slightly guilty about being rude to him, but not enough to make me stop playing and apologize.
It's hours later when I hear them return, and the TV comes on, and Ryeowook makes popcorn. The others return slowly from their dinner dates, and pretty soon the living room is crowded with people, all laughing and talking in a world where I don't belong.
I ignore them. I ignore the twinge in my chest and I push away the memories when they come. Memories of what a Valentines Day was like when I had someone to love and who loved me back. It's stupid and pointless to think about it. It's over and in the past. Every year that slides by just puts us further and further apart. The bright pain of it has become dull and quiet now. It's easier to push away and pretend it's not there.
It's 2am when I can't keep my eyes open anymore, and the satisfaction of killing zombies has worn off. I shut the computer down and crawl into bed, but I can't seem to fall asleep. I should apologize to Sungmin. I should make more of an effort. I should put the past behind me and swallow my pride.
I pick up my cell phone and pull up his number. I have it memorized but I have never called it. My fingers type as fast as they kill zombies on the screen.
Forgive everything I said and did. Tell me you love me. Come back.
I stare at the screen for a moment, daring to imagine what it would be like if he did all those things. And then I set my phone back down and close my eyes.
Maybe some day I will hit send.
.
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: PG
Genre: Ficlet
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior and I make no profit from this fic
Summary: Heechul spends Valentines Day alone
"Are you going out tonight?" Sungmin asks, leaning in the doorframe of my bedroom.
"No." I say, carefully schooling my voice to nonchalance. I snap my wrist on the mouse and succeed in killing a bunch of zombies on the screen, the light flashing and illuminating the room for a split second before it goes dark again.
"You can come with us." Sungmin says softly, but I shake my head. I don't want to go to their 'I don't have a partner on Valentines Day so I am going to make it okay by hanging out with everyone else who doesn't' dinner.
Sungmin sighs softly but I know he didn't expect me to say yes. Valentines Day and I don't get along. I spent the day with my nose in a computer at the SungDong offices and now my nose is in my laptop so that I can avoid the memories and the dull ache of being alone on a holiday meant for couples.
"See you later, hyung." He says. I wave but don't look up. I feel slightly guilty about being rude to him, but not enough to make me stop playing and apologize.
It's hours later when I hear them return, and the TV comes on, and Ryeowook makes popcorn. The others return slowly from their dinner dates, and pretty soon the living room is crowded with people, all laughing and talking in a world where I don't belong.
I ignore them. I ignore the twinge in my chest and I push away the memories when they come. Memories of what a Valentines Day was like when I had someone to love and who loved me back. It's stupid and pointless to think about it. It's over and in the past. Every year that slides by just puts us further and further apart. The bright pain of it has become dull and quiet now. It's easier to push away and pretend it's not there.
It's 2am when I can't keep my eyes open anymore, and the satisfaction of killing zombies has worn off. I shut the computer down and crawl into bed, but I can't seem to fall asleep. I should apologize to Sungmin. I should make more of an effort. I should put the past behind me and swallow my pride.
I pick up my cell phone and pull up his number. I have it memorized but I have never called it. My fingers type as fast as they kill zombies on the screen.
Forgive everything I said and did. Tell me you love me. Come back.
I stare at the screen for a moment, daring to imagine what it would be like if he did all those things. And then I set my phone back down and close my eyes.
Maybe some day I will hit send.
.