dom_ino and I were talking last night, and the topic of queer family structures came up. He and a mutual Faerie friend had been talking, comparing their relationship structures
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Hahaha! Actually, when I was slapping my question down, I was half-anticipating a similar answer: This is family ... and there is certain family you just plain don't want to live with 24-7. I am there with you, buddy.
I also imagine that, were your household to expand too much, it might make it difficult for you to find the writing space you would desperately need.
Thank you for letting me in on this. I tend to hear more -- oddly enough, given my Faerie affiliation -- of sexually open relationships turning sour and proprietary, rather than open and caring. I just think it wouldn't hurt to hear more of the positive stories about such.
Man! I just read your linked post and think it's one of the most helpful, honest, and insightful I've read. Thanks!
I also just wrote a very long response that LJ ate, so I will truncate it here.
Joe and I have been in our relationship about 2.5 years now. We started non-monogamous. He had experience with that sort of relationship; I hadn't. I had asked my former partner if we could become sexually open, and he had refused, so it was something I was interested in.
As you mention, the progress wasn't exactly always smooth. That was me, for the most part. I was concerned that defining ourselves as non-monogamous at the outset would shallow our interaction, make it pale before the ideal. I had worries over inequiteies of time (when he was unemployed) and a sizable age difference (he's nearly 10 years younger). He was always willing to talk things through, calmly, which made the going so much easier. And basically, a determination on both our parts not to define our relationship by restriction but by desire and priority, made
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Just out of curiosity, how long have you all known your longest standing lover?
Have y'all ever had -- or considered having -- a lover who moved in with you guys for an extended time?
See? When I hear stories like yours, I just feel really pleased, know that an honestly sensed understanding of family is truly possible.
Thanks for sharing that, Bub!
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I also imagine that, were your household to expand too much, it might make it difficult for you to find the writing space you would desperately need.
Thank you for letting me in on this. I tend to hear more -- oddly enough, given my Faerie affiliation -- of sexually open relationships turning sour and proprietary, rather than open and caring. I just think it wouldn't hurt to hear more of the positive stories about such.
Reply
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I also just wrote a very long response that LJ ate, so I will truncate it here.
Joe and I have been in our relationship about 2.5 years now. We started non-monogamous. He had experience with that sort of relationship; I hadn't. I had asked my former partner if we could become sexually open, and he had refused, so it was something I was interested in.
As you mention, the progress wasn't exactly always smooth. That was me, for the most part. I was concerned that defining ourselves as non-monogamous at the outset would shallow our interaction, make it pale before the ideal. I had worries over inequiteies of time (when he was unemployed) and a sizable age difference (he's nearly 10 years younger). He was always willing to talk things through, calmly, which made the going so much easier. And basically, a determination on both our parts not to define our relationship by restriction but by desire and priority, made ( ... )
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I feel the same to have this kind of exchange with you. And I likely will jaw with you more on it! :)
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