people will say we're in love
Title: people will say we're in love
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3891
Pairing(s): Ohmiya
Summary: How Arashi assumed Ohno and Nino were dating for twenty-odd years except, against all evidence to the contrary, they're really, actually not. No, really.
Notes: Hey apparently I enjoy writing these nerds
As with most strange things in Arashi, it all starts with Aiba.
They’re playing Dragon Quest when it happens, in the middle of battling the freaking final boss, when Nino’s phone begins to ring. The small boy dives for it like a drowning man towards a well, abandoning his controller completely in his haste and leaving Aiba, exclaiming a litany of shocked babbles, behind as he brings the phone to his ear.
“Oh-chan?” he says into the phone, and Aiba drops the controller in surprise, effectively ending the game. A sad, ‘You Lose!’ song plays as he stares at his friend, gobsmaked. “Yeah, no, it’s fine. I’m just at Aibaka’s.”
“Hey!” he manages, still trying to process. Oh-chan? He knew that Nino called Ohno-kun that when they were in Kyoto, but that had been in front of others, in a way that suggested that this was Nino’s usual teasing. Not- a thing. Not a Thing that he would abandon his game for.
Aiba could feel the little hamster in his head running harder on its wheel, the pieces falling into place like a montage in a mystery movie - the nickname, the way they acted in Kyoto, the phone number from a notoriously withdrawn senpai, the leaving a game - it could only mean one thing.
“- 7, yeah, that should be fine. Sorry, I know- yeah, okay. Bye.” Nino hangs up the phone as Aiba has his Revelation, seeming not to have noticed his friend’s expression over his own small, content smile. And didn't that just say it all. “C’mon, Masaki, let’s- you dropped the controller?”
“You did it first!” Aiba squacks, startled out of demanding answers. Nino rolls his eyes.
“I thought I could trust you with it- ugh, whatever, let’s start again. You’d better not mess up this time!”
Aiba shoots back a retort as Nino restarts the game, thoughts of interrogation on halt for now. He’ll ask later.
Somehow, he never gets around to it.
When Aiba accidentally tells him about it, Sho isn't sure he believes him.
Oh, he knows that Nino and Ohno formed some kind of weirdly codependent relationship in Kyoto - everyone with eyes knew that - but it was a Nino thing, to meet someone and instantly make them feel like you’ve been friends forever, to the point where it looked bizarre from outside. Almost anyone who’s met him knows the feeling, and Sho’s pretty sure that Ohno, who had put up minimal resistance to Nino’s unique form of affection, had just been hit with a harder dose of the Ninomiya bug by virtue of his mellow personality. That didn't mean they were dating. Nino held hands with everyone! Called older kids by nicknames all the time- Sho included! Just because he did them more with Ohno didn't mean anything.
Surely Sho would know if they did. He was Nino’s best friend, after all.
Sho tries for a while to placate himself with this thought, but it digs into his mind like a boa constrictor, squeezing until he finds himself unable to concentrate in cram school, plagued with the idea of his best friend dating Ohno Satoshi and not telling him. The more he thinks about it, the more he starts...noticing things.
Things like the sheer volume of Ohno-related knowledge that Nino has day-to-day, always finding some way of dropping an anecdote about the older boy’s day into their conversations. The way he visibly lit up the few times Sho brought him up. How uncharacteristically nervous he was about asking the older boy for his phone number. The sleeping in touching futons.
Oh god, his best friend is totally dating Ohno Satoshi.
This revelation shocks Sho as much as it hurts him- did Nino not trust him enough to tell him? Did he think he’d react badly?
When he brings it up to Nino over popsicles (his treat, obviously), Nino just stares at him as he tries to get the words out.
“Nino- you know that you can tell me anything, right? I’m your best friend, I’ll support you no matter what.”
Nino narrows his eyes at him. “Is this about Akio-sensei? Because I did tell you afterward, and the bastard did deserve it for making Aiba-chan cry. Even Jun-kun helped, and you know how he is-”
“Nobody deserves your pranks, Nino- wait, Matsumoto-kun helped you glue the dance instructor’s belongings on the ceiling?” Sho says, momentarily distracted. “That...doesn't seem like him.”
Nino snorts. “Yeah, duh, because whenever he’s within ten feet of you he magically becomes Little Miss Perfect, or whatever. It’s not my fault if he thinks the sun shines out of your ass.”
“He what-” Sho shakes his head. “No, Nino, I was talking about you and Ohno-kun.”
“Oh-chan? Not like there’s much to say, considering he’s in Kyoto. I didn't think you two were that close.”
“We’re not- but I don't dislike him. I respect him a lot, actually. And...if you like him, I’m willing to get to know him better.”
Nino blinks. “...sure. Okay, Mr. Honor-roll student, I can give you his number if you want to talk that much. I have no idea what you’d talk about, though.”
Sho wasn't sure either, but he thought that it was his duty as a Best Friend to get to know Nino’s boyfriend. He was usually pretty comfortable letting Nino handle himself, but this wasn't like Nino being able to do a backflip or going to his first photoshoot- this was dating, and he knew how Nino felt about relationships. Seventeen was a big number, compared to fifteen, and Ohno might be soft-spoken and demure, but that didn't mean he couldn't hurt Nino, in a way that bruises from dance practise or outspoken Johnny’s fans couldn't. Sho couldn't risk not knowing- he didn't think he’d ever forgive himself if Nino got hurt because he didn't.
So, he screws up his courage, and calls Ohno.
It takes a dozen or so rings before it’s picked up, and Sho’s almost startled at the sound of Ohno’s murmured “Hello?” on the other side of the line.
“Ah, Ohno-san- it’s me, Sakurai Sho? We met in Kyoto?”
“Sho-kun,” Ohno sounds vaguely surprised, as if not having expected a reply. “....Ah, Nino talks about you.”
Sho is simultaneously filled with warmth at the thought of Nino talking about him (knowing the younger boy, it’s probably mostly embarrassing stories, but still) and mild confusion at Ohno’s choice in openers. He’d almost forgotten about Ohno’s love of non-sequiturs.
“Er, yes. I just wanted to call because, well, I thought it would be good if I talked to you. About Nino.” he coughs awkwardly. “Uh, you and Nino, specifically.”
There’s a few beats of silence at the other end of the line, and Sho continues, fumbling: “I just wanted to know, uh, what….your intentions are?”
He deeply regrets his words the second they escape from his lips. Please god don't let this go back to Nino, Sho’s too young to die of humiliation. Ohno is silent on the other end, which is understandable, considering. Every passing second leaves Sho more inclined to go dig a hole to bury himself in.
“Nino’s nice,” Ohno says finally, and Sho starts at the sound of his soft voice. “And funny. I like him a lot, but he likes Sho-chan a lot, too, so it’s okay.”
Sho can feel the flush moving up his face. Ohno must think that Sho called out of some insecurity about his and Nino’s friendship, now that Nino’s in a relationship. The worst thing is that, well, it isn't completely inaccurate.
“No no no- Ohno-san, I meant,” he babbles. Hesitates. “Nino doesn't- he doesn't trust people much, and he doesn't exactly have a great impression of relationships.”
Nino had never told him this, the way that Nino never said a lot of things, but it was obvious that his home life had a lot to do with it. There was a reason that he never let anyone over, beyond the occasional quips about the likelihood of being mugged in his neighborhood. Nino never brings people over, Nino never talks about his dad, Nino furrows his brows and stays silent whenever the subject of relationships come up. It took a lot to decipher Nino, but Sho thought this, at least, was something that he understood about the younger boy.
“Just, I don't want him to get hurt.” Sho admits quietly.
Ohno’s voice is steady as he replies. “Me neither.”
Sho feels something in his heart unwind at those words, soft and unhesitating. It’s strange, how quickly a sentence from a boy he barely knows can soothe him, but there’s something in the older boy’s voice that Sho trusts, something steadfast and sure. He can see why Nino was drawn to him. Sho feels himself relax a little, hoping that Nino might, after all, have chosen a good person to put his faith in.
Jun doesn't find out about Nino’s boyfriend so much as he figures it out from context clues.
He’s a little annoyed at Nino trying to hide this kind of thing, especially because he’s bad at it. Apparently even Nino’s prodigal acting skills had a limit, and that limit’s name was-
“Oh-chan!”
Jun rolls his eyes as Nino slides himself beside Ohno at the restaurant’s table, slotting their sides together in what seems to be an automatic gesture. Ohno doesn't even look up from where he’s nibbling his toast-and-butter, only lifts his elbow as Nino switches his plate, laden with eggs and bacon and toast, with Ohno’s nearly-empty one. Ohno quietly begins to demolish his second plate as Nino takes the wedges of grapefruit left on the old plate and begins to pick at them. Jun suddenly wishes he’d chosen to sit on Aiba and Sho’s side of the table, instead of suffering through the indignity of being the Ohmiya third wheel.
Aiba makes a muffled squeal across from him, practically stuffing his entire fist into his mouth with the force of his 'I-love-love' joy. Sho is a little more subdued beside him, but he looks at the couple with bemused affection, a relieving change from the usual dark mood he’s been in.
Not that Jun doesn't understand why Sho and Nino - and to some extent, Ohno - look so dour. He knew that Nino was about as excited for Arashi as he was at the prospect of stabbing himself in the eye, given the way he’d been talking about America for months. Everyone had known that Sho wanted to get out of Johnny’s before university, and even though he didn't know Ohno that well, he could recognize the tell-tale signs of being dragged into a debut in the way that he held himself, so similar to Nino’s withdrawn figure. Suffice it to say that Jun’s group isn't as excited to debut as he is. At least Aiba looks like he’s willing to go along with it, even though he also looks constantly confused.
“Ugh, gross,” Jun says lightly, trying to inch away from the lovebirds. “Get a room, Nino.”
“I’m taking that as permission to use your room,” Nino chirps back sweetly. “And your bed. C’mon, Oh-chan, time to defile another piece of furniture!”
Jun tries to grab for him, but Nino’s used to Jun’s reflexes, and dances out of his grasp easily, pulling Ohno off of his seat and tugging the obedient boy back towards their rooms. Ohno’s still holding Nino’s - his - plate in one hand, using his leftover fingers to wiggle a wave at the table in goodbye. Sho frowns at their backs, ignoring Jun’s venomous swears and Aiba’s giggles behind him.
“Is Nino not going to have breakfast?”
As Arashi grows, people begin to start talking about the Thing between Nino and Ohno, because neither of them have a subtle bone to share between them. Aiba would have been surprised at Nino’s PDA tendencies, considering how reticent the boy usually was about his private life, but it had become apparent over the years that Nino is stupid about Ohno. And, the more Aiba watched the two of them interact within Arashi, the more obvious it became that Ohno is just as dumb about Nino in return.
It comes as no surprise, really, when the company decides to play it up as much as possible.
At first, the two seem to be having fun with their new orders, taking every opportunity available to crank up their skinship to a thousand- which Aiba hadn't thought was possible, but he probably should've known better than to underestimate Nino’s scheming abilities and Ohno's 'I-don't-give-a-fuck' attitude and willingness to go along with his boyfriend. There doesn't seem to be a shoot that passes without one of them plastering themselves over the other, cupping cheeks, gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes, kissing each other’s cheeks, and generally being as gay as humanly possible. They look like they’re having fun, more fun than Aiba would have imagined possible for two people who were so reluctant to join Arashi in the first place.
But then something changes, indefinable, over the years. The beginning of it was the infamous video, the one that was never meant to be broadcast except that some TV producer had thought it was funny. After it airs, the managers pull Ohno and Nino aside, grim looks on their faces, and when they return, they’re walking a careful distance from each other. Sho looks horrifically guilty, and it takes all of Aiba's considerable skills to elicit a small smile from him, and he doesn't quite recover until Ohno offers to teach him how to draw and Nino sits on his lap and demands his attention for a new composition. After a while, everything seems be going back to normal.
And then, the weirdness begins to happen.
Aiba first notices when Nino slides away from Ohno a little too quickly after a shoot, instead of lingering near for a whispered conversation as he usually would. He furrows his brows at them, nudges Matsujun, who glances in their direction.
He sighs. “Ugh, morons.” but doesn't elaborate, because as much as he bitches about Nino’s evasive conversational tactics, he could be just as bad. Aiba looks at him beseechingly, and Jun just rolls his eyes so hard that it’s a surprise he doesn't strain anything. Aiba makes a mental note to talk to him later about how wanting to be the bad-boy in a group doesn't mean you had to be an asshole all the time. Or maybe get Sho to do it, if he wasn't busy being scary about his (admittedly insane) work schedule.
Fine, whatever. If Jun doesn't want to explain, then Aiba just has to find out through through greatest power he had.
The power of friendship.
“Nino-chan, you can't break Leader’s heart!” Aiba informs Nino, hours later. Nino gives him a Look, and he elaborates: “The cuddles! You need to cuddle Leader, because he looks like a sad panda, and we can't have a sad panda dance with us.”
“Why does anyone allow you to open your mouth,” Nino says flatly. Then, at Aiba’s ‘you-know-what-I’m-talking-about’ look, he sighs. “Look, I’m glad that you’re invested in Leader’s emotional health, but that has nothing to do with me.”
Aiba boggles, because it took something else to deliver that kind of blatant lie with a straight face.
“Ninomiya Kazunari, you have everything to do with Leader being a sad panda, and you know it! You sat across from him for lunch! You didn't let him hold your hand! You didn't touch his butt for a whole day.”
“Well, it’s not like there were any cameras on,” Nino snaps, and- oh. “So we didn't have to pretend anymore, did we?”
Nino is such an idiot.
“Nino, you are such an idiot,” Aiba informs him. Nino looks at him incredulously, but Aiba doesn't let him interject with a retort. “Just because you and Ohno-kun are all cuddly on TV doesn't mean you can't cuddle in real life, don't be stupid. It doesn't make anything less real.”
“Doesn't it, though?” Nino asks, soft, and Aiba knows that he’s got him.
“Ninomiya Kazunari, Ohno adores you, cameras or not. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes. It’s why they chose you two in the first place. If you ruin that because of your stupid brain, then I’ll- I’ll sit on your DS again!”
Aiba nods firmly, satisfied with his pep talk. Nino stares at him, eyes wide. A stretch of silence grows between them, and Aiba resolutely doesn't waver. He can't, not in times like this. Nino would see it, and take it as ridiculous justification for whatever insecurities that he’s been hiding behind. And then Ohno will be sad, and Nino will be sad, and Sho will be sad, because he hates Nino being sad, and Jun will kill him for depressing half the group, and then Arashi will be over, just like that.
After an eternity of contemplation, Nino reaches out and hugs Aiba, warm and sweet, because Nino gives good hugs even if he is too bony.
“Thanks, Masaki,” he says. “You’re a good friend.”
The next day, Sho’s traumatized face reveals that Nino and Ohno have been sleeping in the same bed again, and all is right with the world.
It doesn't surprise Jun when Ohno comes up to him and mumbles something about a gift for Nino, and they end up browsing in a jewelry store- it’s been seventeen years, after all. He is a little worried about him choosing to buy a ring in Hawaii, where they could, conceivably, actually get married, but that’s an issue for after Ohno gets a ring.
If he ever does.
Jun sighs as Ohno deliberately makes his way around the rings section, looking at the pendants available with eyes that flicker towards the smaller bands every few seconds. Dumbasses, seriously.
“Leader, didn't you already get pendants with Nino a few years ago?” he says, biting back a sarcastic comment. Ohno looks towards him.
“Yeah, but I wanted to get something shinier,” he says nonsensically, because what part of those diamond-plated pendants weren't shiny enough. Jun decides that subtle nudges weren't going to get Ohno to where he was obviously headed, and decided instead to take the straightforward path.
“What about these?” he asks, moving towards the ring case. Ohno stares at him, wide eyed, before shuffling over, inch by inch, as if he thought this was a trick of some kind.
“You’ve given him a pendant, and bracelets get caught on things easily,” he continues, as if nothing were amiss. “And earrings are out, obviously. You could get him a watch, but didn't you give him one for Christmas a while back? Knowing him, he’ll refuse another one. These are your best bet.”
There, a perfectly logical argument.
Ohno considers, brows furrowing. “But Nino,” he hesitates. “And rings…”
Jun resists the urge to scream. Nino’s commitment issues? Now? Still? After almost two decades? If it wasn't just Ohno’s insecurities talking, Jun would have to have a Talk with Nino about being noncommittal about a relationship after being in it for over half your life.
“Nino’ll like it,” he says, carefully not raising his voice. “It’s you, you could give him a live fish and he’d take it.”
Ohno’s eyes are the size of saucers, wider than they’ve ever been on live TV.
“Oh,” he says, and traces a finger over the glass counter, over the arrangement of rings.
As they leave the store, Ohno smiles at Jun, the edges of his eyes crinkling.
“Thanks, Matsujun,” he says. Then: “Want to get a drink?”
“God, yes,” Jun says fervently, hoping that he can wipe this trauma by way of copious amounts of alcohol. Ohno beams wider, kissing his cheek - a habit he picked up from Nino, the limpet - before beginning to walk back.
A few months later, he sees Nino fiddling with a small chain around his neck, and he doesn't have to look more closely to tell that it's one of the matching rings Ohno bought, small and golden a small sapphire spades inside the band, matching the small clover adorning the ring around Ohno's neck. Jun catches Aiba's eye, and sighs at the stars in them.
At least they couldn't have gotten married here.
“Sorry,” Sho says slowly. “What?”
“We’re dating,” Nino repeats, sitting in Ohno’s lap, the way they’ve been for the last two decades. “We just wanted to tell you guys, since it might affect Arashi.”
He tilts his head up, almost defiant, and Sho boggles. “I mean, we’re doing it anyways, but.”
Beside him, Aiba bursts out: “But you’ve been dating for the last twenty-something years!”
A silence falls over the room. Ohno looks a bit like he’s been hit over the head, and Nino is staring at them like they’re the crazy ones.
“We’ve been,” Nino says slowly. “What?”
Aiba continues to babble: “But the phone! The Dragonquest phone of destiny!”
“What the fuck are the words coming out of your mouth right now,” Nino says flatly.
Sho waves a hand at them, a little hysterical. “But- you sleep in the same bed! You hold hands! You buy matching clothing on purpose!”
“Nino’s cuddly,” Ohno says. “And the fans like it.”
“You do it when the cameras aren't facing you,” Sho replies, still reeling. “Satoshi, I literally gave you a shovel talk when we were in Juniors!”
Nino’s high “You what?” is overtaken by Ohno’s mild “Oh, so that’s why you suddenly called.”
Jun, who had stayed silent in the face of the chaos in the room, cut through the conversation with a single sentence.
“I helped you buy rings.”
Ohno flushes at that. “They were a Christmas present…” he protests weakly.
“A platonic set of rings?” Jun says, voice growing higher by the syllable. “That was four years ago. You spent four years with a set of rings and weren't dating?”
Nino, alarmingly, is beginning to grin.
“We also had matching pendants,” he reminds them sweetly. “And Oh-chan told me that they were friendship rings.”
He punctuates this by kissing Ohno on the cheek, eliciting a scrunched-up smile that all of them had assumed was typical PDA up till a few minutes ago. Jun lets out a sound of pure strangled outrage. Sho inches away. Aiba’s eyes are filling with tears.
“I’m so happy for you!” he wails, alarming everyone. “I mean, not that you’re dumb-dumbs who didn't know that you were dating, but now you are and we can go back to Hawaii so you can get married for real and Sho-chan can have the godchildren he’s been waiting for and Matsujun can find you a place together and I’ll help you adopt some pets!”
The whole room blinks in unison at Aiba’s torrent of good-will, and Sho can't help the flood of fondness that fills him.
“He’s right,” he says. “We’re happy for you, even if we misunderstood.”
Jun sighs, resigned and fond. “Congratulations, I guess,” he says, begrudging. “Even if you two are idiots. At least this means you didn't sneak off for your wedding, or anything. We’d better be there once you decide to actually use your rings.”
Ohno looks like he’s about to follow Aiba in his flood of tears, and Nino blinks. Frowns.
“Wait,” he says. “Who said anything about marriage?”