A Long Road To Home (7)
TITLE: A Long Road To Home
RATING: 14 +
DESCRIPTION: Sophie leaves home and meets Sian, who offers her a job and place to live.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
NOTE: Thank you for all the comments on the previous parts, they're all very nice :) And thank you for reading this and the previous parts. Also, sorry for any mistakes. I haven't re-read this yet so.... :)
SIANS POV:
There was a soft knocking on the door and I jumped up, pulling it open within seconds of it being chapped. I hid slightly behind it, poking my head out to see Sophie standing there in that dress. I grabbed her arm pulling her inside, not even pretending I wasn't looking at her. Sophie blushed as my eyes ran over her. Fuck, she looked amazing. I loved that dress when she'd tried it on and she somehow looked even better in it now. Her dark hair was curled hanging loosely, tickling her bare shoulders. I didn't feel like some kind of perv now. I had earlier though when we were trying on dresses. I hated thinking about her 'cause I always got brought back to her age. It really wasn't that bad was it? Does it even matter anyway? She acts bloody older than me! And if I like her and I really do like her then...does it matter? I wasn't gonna lie to myself; it did. It mattered to me. I'd always had a weird thing about that - people going out with someone like 10 years older than themselves.I knew they could still love each other and stuff but I just didn't get it. It didn't feel right to me. Our situation wasn't the same, it was only a few years between us but what was making me act like an idiot about it was the fact that she was 19...as in still technically a teenager. It bothered me, it really did...And I know it shouldn't have. But I did proper fancy her.
I push the thoughs aside with great effort and look back to her flushed face. She really did look so good. I wish I could tell her without creating an awkward situation. I know it might sound stupid but it was crazy cause imagine it - a girl literally turns up on your doorstep and you have this like proper good bond straight away, I was completly drawn to her. I know she felt the same. I know she did.
"Told you that dress was amazing." I grin, pleased that I could compliment her without actually complimenting her.
"Y-Yeah." She grins keeping her eyes firmly on my own trying not to look down at my dress. The little black one that was very revealing...I'd never normally wear a dress like that but honestly? I wanted her to look at me, to want me.
I'd been trying dead hard to suppress the thoughts that I felt I shouldn't be having about her. I'd known her for just a week and I wanted her, like proper wanted her. I wanted to see all of her body, kinda goes without saying that what I had seen of it was perfect. I wanted her on top of me, , under me...anywhere she wanted to be, I didn't mind. I stopped my thoughts before they went too far all the time, mainly because it got me too worked up and there wasn't much I could do about it and the same old bloody thing as usual - her age. It kinda felt wrong having those thoughts; like she was so innocent that even thinking about her like that made her less pure.
"So..." I smile wiggling my eyebrows at her feeling a little embarrassed by what I was thinking and she giggled. I think she kinda liked it when I did that. "You want to grab another quick drink down at the bar or should we just head out?"
"I'm not bothered. Whatever you wanna do." Sophie smiled clasping her hands in front of her shyly. She looked so cute and sexy at the same time. She was proper wicked.
It confused me and scared me so much the way we connected with each other. There was something there between us that I just couldn't put my finger on. Something I'd never experienced with another person before. It was a connection only the truest of friends had and a lust only lovers shared but we were neither. It was driving me crazy. I wanted to ask her if she felt the same way but I didn't want to make myself seem mental so I just kept my mouth shut.
I found out today that she goes to church - or went rather, I don't think she does now. She like proper believes in God and she reads her Bible and prays all the time. It kinda shocked me with her being a lesbian and all but I suppose churches are more accepting of that nowadays, aren't they? At least some of them are. I wanted to know more about it but she didn't seem comfortable talking about it. It felt kind nice knowing she believed in God too. I used to go to church when I was younger but my dad didn't like it and I just stopped...Talking to Sophie about it made me want to go again because I never stopped believing in God. I just had to pretend I did to please my dad. My dad's alright but he's the most narrow-minded, unaccepting, judgmental person in the world. He loves me and everything and I do love him but I don't like him as a person.
Sophie's awkward throat clearing pulls me from my thoughts and I realize I'd been staring at her as I was thinking.
"Sorry." I giggle shaking my head at myself. "C'mon." I pull her towards the door with me, grabbing a little jacket on the way and then heading down the stairs.
We arrive at Demi's house first and meet some of our other friends there. Sophie obviously isn't as outgoing as I thought because she smiles at everyone shyly and laughs awkwardly, listening as we chat. I try to make her feel more comfortable and stay with her all the time we're at Demi's so she doesn't feel daft standing alone. We have a couple of drinks and give Demi her cards and presents before heading out for more drinks.
Demi was having a great night and that's all it was about. Sophie seemed a lot more relaxed too once I'd got a few drinks down her and I was glad she was enjoying herself too.
"Dance with me!" I ask her flashing my best smile and she grins and takes my hand as we push through the crowd to dance.
The music thumps in our heads as we dance close together, grinning and giggling. She gets proper close to me and presses her body into mines as she moves to the music, mking me entire body tingle. I laugh when some lad comes up to her trying to pull her away for a dance and she completely shuts him down in front of his mates, telling him she's dancing with me.
I love the way we can act like this with each other like we do this every night. The song ends and we smile at each other and Sophie tells me she needs to go to the toilet. I offer to go with her but she tells me to stay and have fun dancing so I smile and do.
The music was so loud. I loved it when the volume was turned up so much that the whole place shook, that you could feel the beat of the music inside your chest, feel it thump in your head, feel it make your entire body shake. It was a breathtaking feeling. Bodies brushed up against me every couple of seconds as people got lost in the music and the partners they danced with. There was a murmur of chat laced through the beat of the music and the words of the song that just added to the amazing atmosphere. I was on a complete high tonight. My body was buzzing from the effects of the alcohol - I wasn't drunk but it was safe to say I was quite tipsy - and I was so happy to be here with Sophie.
I'd been sat at a table with my mates and Sophie a few minutes ago before I'd got up to dance with Sophie. I didn't know where the table was but I knew Sophie would stand out a mile if I turned to look for her...Or she'd still be in the loos. As I turned and pushed through the crowd to get a better look I saw Sophie and Lynn giggling with each other at the otherwise empty table. Lynn was gay beyond words and that's probably why my heart lurched when I saw them sitting very close together. I stood rooted to the spot despite the pressing bodies and jumping music as I watched them. Lynn was such a girl, not your stereotypical lesbien at all but what bothered me was she was the type that had a different girl in her bed every night of the week. And Sophie was gay...
Who was I to say anything? Sophie was clearly having a good time - the constant grin on her face was evidence of that. She was my friend at most so it wasn't anything to do with me really...
I was jealous, I'll admit. And that was not an emotion I felt regularly. I can't remember the last time I was envious of someone. Lynn was one of my oldest friends but at this moment I was so angry with her. I had no right to be I know but I couldn't help it. I watched as she leaned in closer to Sophie to whisper something in her ear. Sophie listened intently. The smile had fallen from her lips as she listened but it reappeared as Lynn spoke and the longer Lynn was at her ear the wider it got.
The only fully formed thought in my head as I looked on at them was; God, I wish that was me.
I wonder what she was saying to her. I got a good idea of what it must have been when Sophie shook her head and my red-headed friend gave her her best pout. Sophie shook her head again smiling as Lynn jumped to her feet and took Sophie's hand. My stomach dropped again. If the toilets were where they were headed it wouldn't have been the first time Lynn had pulled that move on a girl. I was glad to see that Lynn only pulled Sophie a few feet onto the floor for them to dance.
I don't know what I would have done had they gone to the loos. I know what Lynn would be trying to do but I couldn't say honestly if I'd had followed or just have been so angry and upset that I'd have left. Sophie didn't seem like the kind of person who would sleep with someone she had just met let alone in the toilet of some club.
Shuffling across the floor, I went to our table and flopped down on the seat keeping my eyes on Sophie as she danced away kind of awkwardly. She still look amazing up there. Jeniffer plopped down beside me slightly out of breath with a drink in her hand and a smile on her face.
"I haven't danced like that in a long time!" She giggled slugging down a mouthful of a dark liquid in her glass. "You okay, hun?" She asked when I didn't turn to laugh or even to look at her.
"Mmm..." I mumbled still staring after the pair of them. This was ridiculous and pathetic! Sophie isn't even....! She isn't even mines...I've no right to be jelous or watching her like I'm her mother. She's having a good time, I should just...
"You're not." Jeniffer shakes her head scooting up to me and resting her head on my shoulder.
I turned to smile at her a little. Jennifer was a Jennifer. It was no secret that she liked me. We all knew she did and I had to let her down gently only a couple of months ago. I don't know why I turned her down because when we first met I liked her too but I suppose she was just too good a friend to get all mixed up in a relationship with.
"What's up with you, Sian?" She lifted her head and put a little distance between us.
"Nah, nothing." I shook my head and nudged her with my elbow.
Jennifer looked at me like she didn't believe me and she was right not to. I rolled my eyes at her for knowing me so well and then we both turned at the same time as Amy popped up at the table pulling a lad behind her.
"I'm leaving!" She sang happily reaching for her bag beside Jen. The guy looked drunker than she was and as soon as we said our rushed goodbyes, Jen and I turned to each other and burst out laughing.
"I don't know why she goes home with all the drunk men...they can't be any good in that state, eh"? Jen joked.
We were a right group actually. There was Lynn - the lesbian who had all the women she could ever want. I mean, don't get me wrong, she was a great girl and she did treat women well but her ability to get even the straightest of girls to sleep with her was quite something...She just loved sex and women, that was really all there was too it. Then you had Amy who was exactly the same as Lynn but only she had all the guys wanting her and it was lads she loved having sex with. She on the other hand though treated men like shit, broken hearts all over the place with her, she'd keep a guy until she got bored then just dump him. I really shouldn't find it funny but I did, we all did. And then Jen - sweetest girl ever and nothing like Lynn or Amy. More like me actually, not one to sleep around. Sex had to be more than just a physical thing with her just like for me. She was into both women and guys whereas I was just into whoever it was that I was into.
I never really understood the labels people had put on them by themselves and others. For me it had always been whoever I was attracted to - it didn't matter their gender, all that mattered was that I was attracted to them. Most people would say I was bisexual but I didn't think so. When I liked someone they were the only person I wanted. If I liked a woman another woman or man wouldn't cross my mind while I was with them. And I wasn't really attracted to a specific gender it was more about the person. It's hard to explain though so that's why people just throw out that label to me.
Back to the friends thing, the other member of our little circle was of course the birthday girl, Demi. The only one of us with a steady partner. Demi was up dancing with Chris - her boyfriend of 4 years. They were proper made for each other them two, everyone thought it.
Jen's giggling brought me out of my thoughts. I was glad to be distracted from watching Lynn grope Sophie while they danced.
My stomach dropped when I looked up to see what she was laughing at. Lynn getting her next girl. Sophie.
The sight made me fell sick. I was so angry and upset I actually felt sick. Lynn had her hand on Sophie's cheek, pulling her closer to her while they kissed. Sophie pulled back about three seconds after their lips touched and despite not actually knowing where in the room I was, her eyes found mines, like she knew I was sitting watching her.
Her mouth fell open and she looked disappointed and ashamed with herself. I was so hot suddenly and the beat of the music annoyed me now. I stood up ignoring Jen asking where I was going as I marched out past the sweaty moving bodies into the freezing December air.
There were goosebumps covering literally every inch of me as soon as I stepped out. I walked down the stairs passing the people who stood outside shivering so they could smoke onto the street.
"Sian!" I heard Sophie call behind me but I didn't turn to see her, instead I kept walking only stopping when I came to the wall of the club where I could rest back against.
"Sian!" Sophie shouted again rushing down the stairs and then walking to me slowly.
She was gonna think I was a right idiot now. Why did I act like that? I couldn't think of an excuse. Not a single thing.
"Sian?" Sophie sighed slightly out of breath as she leaned against the wall beside me.
"What?" I mumble embarrassed.
And then there was silence. The only sound to be heard was cars drifting past a good way away down the other end of the street. No one else was stood outside now and the silence was almost eerie. Neither of us knew what to say, Sophie didn't want to ask why I ran out and I didn't want to tell her. We both wanted to know what the other was thinking though, that much was clear.
"Why we standing out in the cold?" Sophie sighed after what seemed like a very long time. She wouldn't tell me why she thought I'd ran out but she knew. She did.
"Too warm in there." I go along with her.
It was honestly like we were acting out scenes of a movie or something. We both knew exactly what had gone on in there but here we stood lying to each other, avoiding the truth and for what? I didn't know.
"Mmmm...." Sophie mumbled not sure exactly of what to say.
"I'm gonna head back in now." I told her pushing myself off the wall. "You know my address, don't you?" I ask before walking away. I didn't hide the jealousy and anger in my voice; I don't think I could have.
"Yeah....why?" Sophie asks confused.
"So you know where you're coming back to if you're leaving with someone else tonight." I shrug concealing this time, my anger. I just sounded cold.
"I'm not gonna...." Sophie called after me as I walked away back up the stairs.
"See you later, Soph." I gave her one last hopeless look over my shoulder before disappearing back through the doors.
The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. I ordered so many drinks and downed them sadly as I watched Sophie and Lynn. Sophie and I didn't speak again the whole night.
Jen sat with me as I drank drink after drink after drink, and she got drunk with me. If I wasn't going back with Sophie tonight, I was going back with someone. I wanted to make her jealous like she was making me. I want to make her wish it was her I was talking to. I know how messed up it is; trying to hurt her for nothing, using someone else to do it. I know, I'd never have if I wasn't so drunk.
"Jen..." I sigh pressing my forehead to her bare shoulder.
"What wrong, hun?" She grinned down at me and I felt her place a small kiss on my hair.
"I'm drunk!" I giggle trailing my lips down her arm and hearing her breath hitch.
"I know." She whispered tugging my face up to meet her eyes. "What are you doing?" She shook her head and I shrugged.
"I'm just..." I groan and throw my hands in the air nearly spilling over our drinks.
"Whoa!" Jen giggled grabbing onto my hand pulling it back down and then not letting go.
"Jen...Don't. I'm sorry, babe." I sigh angry with myself for even thinking about doing that to my best friend.
"For what"? She smiles sweetly holding tighter onto my hand.
"Making you think....I'm not...I'm sorry...I just...." I mumble hating myself when her brown eyes look down at our hands.
"This doesn't need to be anything else. I know how you feel, hun. I know we don't feel the same. Just one night? That's all it has to be." Jen negotiates with a smirk on her face. She really was something else.
"It wont be that, I know it wont. And it'd really be risking our friendship. You don't really want to sleep with your best friend, do you?" I ask trying to talk not only her, but myself out of it.
Jen was beautiful, really beautiful and there's not a person in this club that would say no to a night with her. But I couldn't get Sophie out of my head.
"You look like you could do with it, hun." Jen giggled elbowing me playfully. "One night and then we forget all about it?" She asked again and I slumped back thinking.
Her hand tightened on mines and I looked up at her. Fuck it, Sophie didn't care so neither would I.
"Okay." I whisper and Jen grins, wiggling her eyebrows in the same way I always do.
We stand up and find Demi, say our goodbyes and wish her a happy birthday again. She decides to stay for awhile longer with Chris. I catch Sophie's eye as we head for the door and she freezes looking at me and Jen who tugs my hand giggling. Before I can look away, Sophie shakes her head unimpressed and slightly surprised before turning back to Lynn a little more eagerly than before now. With one final sigh, I let Jen drag me out into the cold night in search of a taxi back to hers.
While we wait outside for the taxi all I can see is Sophie's disappointed face. On the drive back to Jen's all I can see hear is Sophie shouting my name like after I stormed out of the club. And as Jen opens her front door and leads me into her bedroom all I see in my head is Sophie.
thank you for reading :)
RATING: 14 +
DESCRIPTION: Sophie leaves home and meets Sian, who offers her a job and place to live.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
NOTE: Thank you for all the comments on the previous parts, they're all very nice :) And thank you for reading this and the previous parts. Also, sorry for any mistakes. I haven't re-read this yet so.... :)
SIANS POV:
There was a soft knocking on the door and I jumped up, pulling it open within seconds of it being chapped. I hid slightly behind it, poking my head out to see Sophie standing there in that dress. I grabbed her arm pulling her inside, not even pretending I wasn't looking at her. Sophie blushed as my eyes ran over her. Fuck, she looked amazing. I loved that dress when she'd tried it on and she somehow looked even better in it now. Her dark hair was curled hanging loosely, tickling her bare shoulders. I didn't feel like some kind of perv now. I had earlier though when we were trying on dresses. I hated thinking about her 'cause I always got brought back to her age. It really wasn't that bad was it? Does it even matter anyway? She acts bloody older than me! And if I like her and I really do like her then...does it matter? I wasn't gonna lie to myself; it did. It mattered to me. I'd always had a weird thing about that - people going out with someone like 10 years older than themselves.I knew they could still love each other and stuff but I just didn't get it. It didn't feel right to me. Our situation wasn't the same, it was only a few years between us but what was making me act like an idiot about it was the fact that she was 19...as in still technically a teenager. It bothered me, it really did...And I know it shouldn't have. But I did proper fancy her.
I push the thoughs aside with great effort and look back to her flushed face. She really did look so good. I wish I could tell her without creating an awkward situation. I know it might sound stupid but it was crazy cause imagine it - a girl literally turns up on your doorstep and you have this like proper good bond straight away, I was completly drawn to her. I know she felt the same. I know she did.
"Told you that dress was amazing." I grin, pleased that I could compliment her without actually complimenting her.
"Y-Yeah." She grins keeping her eyes firmly on my own trying not to look down at my dress. The little black one that was very revealing...I'd never normally wear a dress like that but honestly? I wanted her to look at me, to want me.
I'd been trying dead hard to suppress the thoughts that I felt I shouldn't be having about her. I'd known her for just a week and I wanted her, like proper wanted her. I wanted to see all of her body, kinda goes without saying that what I had seen of it was perfect. I wanted her on top of me, , under me...anywhere she wanted to be, I didn't mind. I stopped my thoughts before they went too far all the time, mainly because it got me too worked up and there wasn't much I could do about it and the same old bloody thing as usual - her age. It kinda felt wrong having those thoughts; like she was so innocent that even thinking about her like that made her less pure.
"So..." I smile wiggling my eyebrows at her feeling a little embarrassed by what I was thinking and she giggled. I think she kinda liked it when I did that. "You want to grab another quick drink down at the bar or should we just head out?"
"I'm not bothered. Whatever you wanna do." Sophie smiled clasping her hands in front of her shyly. She looked so cute and sexy at the same time. She was proper wicked.
It confused me and scared me so much the way we connected with each other. There was something there between us that I just couldn't put my finger on. Something I'd never experienced with another person before. It was a connection only the truest of friends had and a lust only lovers shared but we were neither. It was driving me crazy. I wanted to ask her if she felt the same way but I didn't want to make myself seem mental so I just kept my mouth shut.
I found out today that she goes to church - or went rather, I don't think she does now. She like proper believes in God and she reads her Bible and prays all the time. It kinda shocked me with her being a lesbian and all but I suppose churches are more accepting of that nowadays, aren't they? At least some of them are. I wanted to know more about it but she didn't seem comfortable talking about it. It felt kind nice knowing she believed in God too. I used to go to church when I was younger but my dad didn't like it and I just stopped...Talking to Sophie about it made me want to go again because I never stopped believing in God. I just had to pretend I did to please my dad. My dad's alright but he's the most narrow-minded, unaccepting, judgmental person in the world. He loves me and everything and I do love him but I don't like him as a person.
Sophie's awkward throat clearing pulls me from my thoughts and I realize I'd been staring at her as I was thinking.
"Sorry." I giggle shaking my head at myself. "C'mon." I pull her towards the door with me, grabbing a little jacket on the way and then heading down the stairs.
We arrive at Demi's house first and meet some of our other friends there. Sophie obviously isn't as outgoing as I thought because she smiles at everyone shyly and laughs awkwardly, listening as we chat. I try to make her feel more comfortable and stay with her all the time we're at Demi's so she doesn't feel daft standing alone. We have a couple of drinks and give Demi her cards and presents before heading out for more drinks.
Demi was having a great night and that's all it was about. Sophie seemed a lot more relaxed too once I'd got a few drinks down her and I was glad she was enjoying herself too.
"Dance with me!" I ask her flashing my best smile and she grins and takes my hand as we push through the crowd to dance.
The music thumps in our heads as we dance close together, grinning and giggling. She gets proper close to me and presses her body into mines as she moves to the music, mking me entire body tingle. I laugh when some lad comes up to her trying to pull her away for a dance and she completely shuts him down in front of his mates, telling him she's dancing with me.
I love the way we can act like this with each other like we do this every night. The song ends and we smile at each other and Sophie tells me she needs to go to the toilet. I offer to go with her but she tells me to stay and have fun dancing so I smile and do.
The music was so loud. I loved it when the volume was turned up so much that the whole place shook, that you could feel the beat of the music inside your chest, feel it thump in your head, feel it make your entire body shake. It was a breathtaking feeling. Bodies brushed up against me every couple of seconds as people got lost in the music and the partners they danced with. There was a murmur of chat laced through the beat of the music and the words of the song that just added to the amazing atmosphere. I was on a complete high tonight. My body was buzzing from the effects of the alcohol - I wasn't drunk but it was safe to say I was quite tipsy - and I was so happy to be here with Sophie.
I'd been sat at a table with my mates and Sophie a few minutes ago before I'd got up to dance with Sophie. I didn't know where the table was but I knew Sophie would stand out a mile if I turned to look for her...Or she'd still be in the loos. As I turned and pushed through the crowd to get a better look I saw Sophie and Lynn giggling with each other at the otherwise empty table. Lynn was gay beyond words and that's probably why my heart lurched when I saw them sitting very close together. I stood rooted to the spot despite the pressing bodies and jumping music as I watched them. Lynn was such a girl, not your stereotypical lesbien at all but what bothered me was she was the type that had a different girl in her bed every night of the week. And Sophie was gay...
Who was I to say anything? Sophie was clearly having a good time - the constant grin on her face was evidence of that. She was my friend at most so it wasn't anything to do with me really...
I was jealous, I'll admit. And that was not an emotion I felt regularly. I can't remember the last time I was envious of someone. Lynn was one of my oldest friends but at this moment I was so angry with her. I had no right to be I know but I couldn't help it. I watched as she leaned in closer to Sophie to whisper something in her ear. Sophie listened intently. The smile had fallen from her lips as she listened but it reappeared as Lynn spoke and the longer Lynn was at her ear the wider it got.
The only fully formed thought in my head as I looked on at them was; God, I wish that was me.
I wonder what she was saying to her. I got a good idea of what it must have been when Sophie shook her head and my red-headed friend gave her her best pout. Sophie shook her head again smiling as Lynn jumped to her feet and took Sophie's hand. My stomach dropped again. If the toilets were where they were headed it wouldn't have been the first time Lynn had pulled that move on a girl. I was glad to see that Lynn only pulled Sophie a few feet onto the floor for them to dance.
I don't know what I would have done had they gone to the loos. I know what Lynn would be trying to do but I couldn't say honestly if I'd had followed or just have been so angry and upset that I'd have left. Sophie didn't seem like the kind of person who would sleep with someone she had just met let alone in the toilet of some club.
Shuffling across the floor, I went to our table and flopped down on the seat keeping my eyes on Sophie as she danced away kind of awkwardly. She still look amazing up there. Jeniffer plopped down beside me slightly out of breath with a drink in her hand and a smile on her face.
"I haven't danced like that in a long time!" She giggled slugging down a mouthful of a dark liquid in her glass. "You okay, hun?" She asked when I didn't turn to laugh or even to look at her.
"Mmm..." I mumbled still staring after the pair of them. This was ridiculous and pathetic! Sophie isn't even....! She isn't even mines...I've no right to be jelous or watching her like I'm her mother. She's having a good time, I should just...
"You're not." Jeniffer shakes her head scooting up to me and resting her head on my shoulder.
I turned to smile at her a little. Jennifer was a Jennifer. It was no secret that she liked me. We all knew she did and I had to let her down gently only a couple of months ago. I don't know why I turned her down because when we first met I liked her too but I suppose she was just too good a friend to get all mixed up in a relationship with.
"What's up with you, Sian?" She lifted her head and put a little distance between us.
"Nah, nothing." I shook my head and nudged her with my elbow.
Jennifer looked at me like she didn't believe me and she was right not to. I rolled my eyes at her for knowing me so well and then we both turned at the same time as Amy popped up at the table pulling a lad behind her.
"I'm leaving!" She sang happily reaching for her bag beside Jen. The guy looked drunker than she was and as soon as we said our rushed goodbyes, Jen and I turned to each other and burst out laughing.
"I don't know why she goes home with all the drunk men...they can't be any good in that state, eh"? Jen joked.
We were a right group actually. There was Lynn - the lesbian who had all the women she could ever want. I mean, don't get me wrong, she was a great girl and she did treat women well but her ability to get even the straightest of girls to sleep with her was quite something...She just loved sex and women, that was really all there was too it. Then you had Amy who was exactly the same as Lynn but only she had all the guys wanting her and it was lads she loved having sex with. She on the other hand though treated men like shit, broken hearts all over the place with her, she'd keep a guy until she got bored then just dump him. I really shouldn't find it funny but I did, we all did. And then Jen - sweetest girl ever and nothing like Lynn or Amy. More like me actually, not one to sleep around. Sex had to be more than just a physical thing with her just like for me. She was into both women and guys whereas I was just into whoever it was that I was into.
I never really understood the labels people had put on them by themselves and others. For me it had always been whoever I was attracted to - it didn't matter their gender, all that mattered was that I was attracted to them. Most people would say I was bisexual but I didn't think so. When I liked someone they were the only person I wanted. If I liked a woman another woman or man wouldn't cross my mind while I was with them. And I wasn't really attracted to a specific gender it was more about the person. It's hard to explain though so that's why people just throw out that label to me.
Back to the friends thing, the other member of our little circle was of course the birthday girl, Demi. The only one of us with a steady partner. Demi was up dancing with Chris - her boyfriend of 4 years. They were proper made for each other them two, everyone thought it.
Jen's giggling brought me out of my thoughts. I was glad to be distracted from watching Lynn grope Sophie while they danced.
My stomach dropped when I looked up to see what she was laughing at. Lynn getting her next girl. Sophie.
The sight made me fell sick. I was so angry and upset I actually felt sick. Lynn had her hand on Sophie's cheek, pulling her closer to her while they kissed. Sophie pulled back about three seconds after their lips touched and despite not actually knowing where in the room I was, her eyes found mines, like she knew I was sitting watching her.
Her mouth fell open and she looked disappointed and ashamed with herself. I was so hot suddenly and the beat of the music annoyed me now. I stood up ignoring Jen asking where I was going as I marched out past the sweaty moving bodies into the freezing December air.
There were goosebumps covering literally every inch of me as soon as I stepped out. I walked down the stairs passing the people who stood outside shivering so they could smoke onto the street.
"Sian!" I heard Sophie call behind me but I didn't turn to see her, instead I kept walking only stopping when I came to the wall of the club where I could rest back against.
"Sian!" Sophie shouted again rushing down the stairs and then walking to me slowly.
She was gonna think I was a right idiot now. Why did I act like that? I couldn't think of an excuse. Not a single thing.
"Sian?" Sophie sighed slightly out of breath as she leaned against the wall beside me.
"What?" I mumble embarrassed.
And then there was silence. The only sound to be heard was cars drifting past a good way away down the other end of the street. No one else was stood outside now and the silence was almost eerie. Neither of us knew what to say, Sophie didn't want to ask why I ran out and I didn't want to tell her. We both wanted to know what the other was thinking though, that much was clear.
"Why we standing out in the cold?" Sophie sighed after what seemed like a very long time. She wouldn't tell me why she thought I'd ran out but she knew. She did.
"Too warm in there." I go along with her.
It was honestly like we were acting out scenes of a movie or something. We both knew exactly what had gone on in there but here we stood lying to each other, avoiding the truth and for what? I didn't know.
"Mmmm...." Sophie mumbled not sure exactly of what to say.
"I'm gonna head back in now." I told her pushing myself off the wall. "You know my address, don't you?" I ask before walking away. I didn't hide the jealousy and anger in my voice; I don't think I could have.
"Yeah....why?" Sophie asks confused.
"So you know where you're coming back to if you're leaving with someone else tonight." I shrug concealing this time, my anger. I just sounded cold.
"I'm not gonna...." Sophie called after me as I walked away back up the stairs.
"See you later, Soph." I gave her one last hopeless look over my shoulder before disappearing back through the doors.
The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. I ordered so many drinks and downed them sadly as I watched Sophie and Lynn. Sophie and I didn't speak again the whole night.
Jen sat with me as I drank drink after drink after drink, and she got drunk with me. If I wasn't going back with Sophie tonight, I was going back with someone. I wanted to make her jealous like she was making me. I want to make her wish it was her I was talking to. I know how messed up it is; trying to hurt her for nothing, using someone else to do it. I know, I'd never have if I wasn't so drunk.
"Jen..." I sigh pressing my forehead to her bare shoulder.
"What wrong, hun?" She grinned down at me and I felt her place a small kiss on my hair.
"I'm drunk!" I giggle trailing my lips down her arm and hearing her breath hitch.
"I know." She whispered tugging my face up to meet her eyes. "What are you doing?" She shook her head and I shrugged.
"I'm just..." I groan and throw my hands in the air nearly spilling over our drinks.
"Whoa!" Jen giggled grabbing onto my hand pulling it back down and then not letting go.
"Jen...Don't. I'm sorry, babe." I sigh angry with myself for even thinking about doing that to my best friend.
"For what"? She smiles sweetly holding tighter onto my hand.
"Making you think....I'm not...I'm sorry...I just...." I mumble hating myself when her brown eyes look down at our hands.
"This doesn't need to be anything else. I know how you feel, hun. I know we don't feel the same. Just one night? That's all it has to be." Jen negotiates with a smirk on her face. She really was something else.
"It wont be that, I know it wont. And it'd really be risking our friendship. You don't really want to sleep with your best friend, do you?" I ask trying to talk not only her, but myself out of it.
Jen was beautiful, really beautiful and there's not a person in this club that would say no to a night with her. But I couldn't get Sophie out of my head.
"You look like you could do with it, hun." Jen giggled elbowing me playfully. "One night and then we forget all about it?" She asked again and I slumped back thinking.
Her hand tightened on mines and I looked up at her. Fuck it, Sophie didn't care so neither would I.
"Okay." I whisper and Jen grins, wiggling her eyebrows in the same way I always do.
We stand up and find Demi, say our goodbyes and wish her a happy birthday again. She decides to stay for awhile longer with Chris. I catch Sophie's eye as we head for the door and she freezes looking at me and Jen who tugs my hand giggling. Before I can look away, Sophie shakes her head unimpressed and slightly surprised before turning back to Lynn a little more eagerly than before now. With one final sigh, I let Jen drag me out into the cold night in search of a taxi back to hers.
While we wait outside for the taxi all I can see is Sophie's disappointed face. On the drive back to Jen's all I can see hear is Sophie shouting my name like after I stormed out of the club. And as Jen opens her front door and leads me into her bedroom all I see in my head is Sophie.
thank you for reading :)