roadkill.
in these past few days, ive seen many-a animal try and cross the road...most of the time unsuccessfully.
it started out monday...i headed up to pulaski to drop some shit off to brian, and on the side of the road was this...deer...on its back...with all four legs straight up in the air from rigor mortis...it was pretty funny...and for those necropheliacs also into beastiality...it was in the spread eagle position.
then heading home from work on monday...there was a raccoon, an opposum...no it wasnt playing dead...unless theyve evolved to have a new "playing dead" defense mechanism which allows them the ability to have their brains on the outside of their skulls....and then there was a turtle crossing the street...that was pretty funny...he was just into the road when i passed him...just missed him...so i looked in the rear view mirror and there was a huge truck behind me...and when it passed pokey it went sky high into the air...i thought he was gonna crush him but he must have just caught the end of him. that was a sight to see.
then driving to work monday i saw a dead raccoon in the middle of the road...theres nothing funny about raccoons.
ooooh ooooh and when i got out of the gym around 10 on monday...i was pulling out of the parking lot at the y...when turning a corner i almost hit this HUGE turtle...i mean huge...billy fuccillo huge...probably the size of an outdated VCR...wow...it was cool...apparently it was the mother of the aforementioned turtle...and she was out for answers...but i eluded her...cause im smoove like dat.
yesterday i went back up to pulaski and saw that deer again...i think im gonna name it chloe...because that sounds like a pretty good name for a deer in the porn industry...chloe doe...apparently all the nearby deer and citizens of pulaski had passed up the chance to ambush her because she looked the same as the day before.
and then this morning...i went back up to pulaski...but before that i had to leave the driveway...and this is depressing but, i had no idea that my aunt vivian and uncle john came up to go fishing with my grandpa and...that said, i also had no idea they parked behind the van...as noted by the gaping hole that is now in the front of their car in the shape of a trailer hitch...thing is theyre still out fishing and they dont know about it yet...do i tell them?...i probably wont...but ill feel bad...so i probably will.
and near the road was this deer...but it was alive...alive and waiting...it made a bolt for the road as i passed it...and then it went back into the woods, not before i had jerked the van into the next lane almost causing an accident.
and then i saw chloe again...she looked a bit roughed up...so im wonderin' if someone got a hold of her...either that or shes starting to decompose.
i think if i ever want to marry someone dumber than me...ill try my luck at a deer...but NO SEX...because thatd be disgusting.
it started out monday...i headed up to pulaski to drop some shit off to brian, and on the side of the road was this...deer...on its back...with all four legs straight up in the air from rigor mortis...it was pretty funny...and for those necropheliacs also into beastiality...it was in the spread eagle position.
then heading home from work on monday...there was a raccoon, an opposum...no it wasnt playing dead...unless theyve evolved to have a new "playing dead" defense mechanism which allows them the ability to have their brains on the outside of their skulls....and then there was a turtle crossing the street...that was pretty funny...he was just into the road when i passed him...just missed him...so i looked in the rear view mirror and there was a huge truck behind me...and when it passed pokey it went sky high into the air...i thought he was gonna crush him but he must have just caught the end of him. that was a sight to see.
then driving to work monday i saw a dead raccoon in the middle of the road...theres nothing funny about raccoons.
ooooh ooooh and when i got out of the gym around 10 on monday...i was pulling out of the parking lot at the y...when turning a corner i almost hit this HUGE turtle...i mean huge...billy fuccillo huge...probably the size of an outdated VCR...wow...it was cool...apparently it was the mother of the aforementioned turtle...and she was out for answers...but i eluded her...cause im smoove like dat.
yesterday i went back up to pulaski and saw that deer again...i think im gonna name it chloe...because that sounds like a pretty good name for a deer in the porn industry...chloe doe...apparently all the nearby deer and citizens of pulaski had passed up the chance to ambush her because she looked the same as the day before.
and then this morning...i went back up to pulaski...but before that i had to leave the driveway...and this is depressing but, i had no idea that my aunt vivian and uncle john came up to go fishing with my grandpa and...that said, i also had no idea they parked behind the van...as noted by the gaping hole that is now in the front of their car in the shape of a trailer hitch...thing is theyre still out fishing and they dont know about it yet...do i tell them?...i probably wont...but ill feel bad...so i probably will.
and near the road was this deer...but it was alive...alive and waiting...it made a bolt for the road as i passed it...and then it went back into the woods, not before i had jerked the van into the next lane almost causing an accident.
and then i saw chloe again...she looked a bit roughed up...so im wonderin' if someone got a hold of her...either that or shes starting to decompose.
i think if i ever want to marry someone dumber than me...ill try my luck at a deer...but NO SEX...because thatd be disgusting.