What's on Who?
Warning: slightly juvenile.
---
THOMAS and CLEMENT are at Good Vibrations, looking at the selection of lubes.
T: There are so many lubes to choose from!
C: I like What.
T: You like what?
C: That's right. It's my new favorite lube.
T: Which is?
C: No, I don't like Which.
T: What?
C: No, Which.
T: Which?
C: Which.
T: You don't like which?
C: Right. Which is too greasy.
T: How am I supposed to know which is too greasy?
C: I just told you, Which!
T: Okay, fine. So, there's this lube that's bad, because it's too greasy...
C: Which is so bad!
T: Yes, I know you think being greasy is bad. But why?
C: It gets all over everything, and it's really hard to get off.
T: Wait, shouldn't having lube all over make it easier to get off?
C: You're being ridiculous. I have to admit that getting it on is pretty easy, though.
T: It's easy to get it on.
C: Right.
T: But it's hard to get off.
C: Right.
T: What?
C: No, Which!
T: Oh, I get it! You must be talking about one of those sensation-reducing lubes that make men last longer. Do they sell those?
C: Sure, there are plenty of them.
T: Like what?
C: No, What's not one of those.
T: What?
C: No!
T: No what?
C: Yes, there's What, it's right there!
T: What's there?
C: YES!
T: I don't get it.
C: Obviously, or you'd know more about it.
T: About what?
C: Right.
T: ... Anyway, can you help me pick one out? I want one for me and Faye when we're, y'know, gettin' it on.
C: Well, of course you want to get it on. But then what do you want to do?
T: I said, get it on.
C: Right, but...
T: HAVE SEX.
C: Okay then. Have you tried It?
T: Have we... of course we have! For christ's sake, we've been living together for two years.
C: Okay, okay. How am I supposed to know what you've tried? Anyway, what did you think of It?
T: We... liked it?
C: Yeah, It's pretty popular. What about after? Was It any trouble to get off?
T: No! Geez.
C: Well, then it sounds to me like you should just stick with It.
T: With what?
C: No, with It. Although you could try What, which I like.
T: ... which is what you like?
C: No, Which is what I don't like.
T: WHAT is what you don't like?
C: No, it's Which!
T: What's which??
C: No, they're completely different! Haven't you heard a word I've said? What is just right. Which is too greasy.
T: Hold on, if it's too greasy, how can that also be "just right"?
C: No, It's not too greasy.
T: You just said it was!
C: I just said Which was!
T: That's what I've been trying to ask you this whole time!
C: What? What about which? Which? What? It?
T: You know what? Just forget it. Fuck this shit.
C: Oh, that's for anal!
---
THOMAS and CLEMENT are at Good Vibrations, looking at the selection of lubes.
T: There are so many lubes to choose from!
C: I like What.
T: You like what?
C: That's right. It's my new favorite lube.
T: Which is?
C: No, I don't like Which.
T: What?
C: No, Which.
T: Which?
C: Which.
T: You don't like which?
C: Right. Which is too greasy.
T: How am I supposed to know which is too greasy?
C: I just told you, Which!
T: Okay, fine. So, there's this lube that's bad, because it's too greasy...
C: Which is so bad!
T: Yes, I know you think being greasy is bad. But why?
C: It gets all over everything, and it's really hard to get off.
T: Wait, shouldn't having lube all over make it easier to get off?
C: You're being ridiculous. I have to admit that getting it on is pretty easy, though.
T: It's easy to get it on.
C: Right.
T: But it's hard to get off.
C: Right.
T: What?
C: No, Which!
T: Oh, I get it! You must be talking about one of those sensation-reducing lubes that make men last longer. Do they sell those?
C: Sure, there are plenty of them.
T: Like what?
C: No, What's not one of those.
T: What?
C: No!
T: No what?
C: Yes, there's What, it's right there!
T: What's there?
C: YES!
T: I don't get it.
C: Obviously, or you'd know more about it.
T: About what?
C: Right.
T: ... Anyway, can you help me pick one out? I want one for me and Faye when we're, y'know, gettin' it on.
C: Well, of course you want to get it on. But then what do you want to do?
T: I said, get it on.
C: Right, but...
T: HAVE SEX.
C: Okay then. Have you tried It?
T: Have we... of course we have! For christ's sake, we've been living together for two years.
C: Okay, okay. How am I supposed to know what you've tried? Anyway, what did you think of It?
T: We... liked it?
C: Yeah, It's pretty popular. What about after? Was It any trouble to get off?
T: No! Geez.
C: Well, then it sounds to me like you should just stick with It.
T: With what?
C: No, with It. Although you could try What, which I like.
T: ... which is what you like?
C: No, Which is what I don't like.
T: WHAT is what you don't like?
C: No, it's Which!
T: What's which??
C: No, they're completely different! Haven't you heard a word I've said? What is just right. Which is too greasy.
T: Hold on, if it's too greasy, how can that also be "just right"?
C: No, It's not too greasy.
T: You just said it was!
C: I just said Which was!
T: That's what I've been trying to ask you this whole time!
C: What? What about which? Which? What? It?
T: You know what? Just forget it. Fuck this shit.
C: Oh, that's for anal!