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i'm tired of indefinitely feeling this way - indefinitely for the past two years... i guess this time of year is particularly difficult for me. but the bottom line is, i'm sick of it. i'm sick of not being able to move on, to get past it. i'm sick of not being able to look back at the past few years of my life and decide that it was well spent
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you know, here is my opinion on this, take it or leave it... but 2 years ago you were tremendously hurt by a significant other. Now... you are in college in Potsdam.
Now, Potsdam is an isolated town, and you are in a somewhat isolated music building in an isolated town... the people around you are constant. You see the same faces everyday. Everyday! The incoming newbies each year consistently get younger because you are getting older, and consistently seem more and more immature (at least thats kind of how i felt with guys)
Here you are, stuck in the seemingly neverending state of lingering. Whenther you wish that past still existed or you wish it never happened...
2 years in a place like Potsdam can really push your heart and mind deeper and deeper into depression
I'm not saying that there arent some awesome people in potsdam, but your outside is your inside as far as enviroment.
And to make it worse, it was only 2 years ago that shit his the fan. Honestly, it is not that long ago.
I dont know how long you two were together, but I think the saying that "it takes half the time you were together to get over someone" might go for people who are much older and have already been hurt too many times.
Finding someone new really does help to overcome this state of depression, but when everything around you is constant, when everyone around you is hardly changing, you start to feel like there is no hope...
But use of caution may be suitable, and when you finally meet someone who is right for the next big step forward, I think you will hesitate less and you will find a relationship that you think is worthy of your time...and you will be willing to take the risk.
hope this helps :)
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