always coming back to you
ive been trapped in the real world. not constantly connected to the internet and lately not even connected to a phone.
but here is where i can let it all fall out of me.
im much more creative and inspired than i give myself credit for. i feel like what i do expose gets robbed from me and ive been feeling it more lately. i want it all to be my own, originality. but its taken from me only a mere moments after i release it. so instead i keep it in.
its all mine, staying inside me, only to be shared with the one im growing from seed to tiny human being.
my Lucy.
yes, im pregnant, again.
i know ive said i would never let this happen again but im in love and im happy.
happy with struggles, arent we all?
i didnt decide to have her by choice, she was given to me completely on accident. the choice to keep her was mine, all mine.
i cant wait to hold her and love her every second of every minute of every hour of every single day. i realize now i was scared, possibly, of not being able to love another the way i love my first. maybe if she was a he it would possibly be that way... possibly. but im carrying a girl. and i am in love.
and even more in love with her dad, after all we've been through. i cant deny the feeling that i get when i think about him. and i hate being the one to write those things but ive never felt them to be true until him. im truly blessed and happy we can get through anything together. i wont give up on him, i know he feels the same.
its all i need.
i wish i had time for more..
maybe later, maybe not.
dinner is calling me.
but here is where i can let it all fall out of me.
im much more creative and inspired than i give myself credit for. i feel like what i do expose gets robbed from me and ive been feeling it more lately. i want it all to be my own, originality. but its taken from me only a mere moments after i release it. so instead i keep it in.
its all mine, staying inside me, only to be shared with the one im growing from seed to tiny human being.
my Lucy.
yes, im pregnant, again.
i know ive said i would never let this happen again but im in love and im happy.
happy with struggles, arent we all?
i didnt decide to have her by choice, she was given to me completely on accident. the choice to keep her was mine, all mine.
i cant wait to hold her and love her every second of every minute of every hour of every single day. i realize now i was scared, possibly, of not being able to love another the way i love my first. maybe if she was a he it would possibly be that way... possibly. but im carrying a girl. and i am in love.
and even more in love with her dad, after all we've been through. i cant deny the feeling that i get when i think about him. and i hate being the one to write those things but ive never felt them to be true until him. im truly blessed and happy we can get through anything together. i wont give up on him, i know he feels the same.
its all i need.
i wish i had time for more..
maybe later, maybe not.
dinner is calling me.