Electric Sheep Two
And yet, if you look back through my life, through my very mind, you will find absolutely no reason for me to feel this way. My parents divorced when I was one, mom remarried when I was three, and I've grown up knowing my step dad is my step dad but not really caring about my father. I've met him a number of times, I know who he is and I just haven't really cared much.
I was raised in a middle class suburban neighborhood. Fresh cut grass, kids playing frisbee, and homemade icecream were the worst things I encountered. A lot of my mental anguish I have made up on my own. Depression has been near debilitating some days. I don't want to be on medication as I simply don't believe in it. Silly, I know, but I don't like pills anymore.
I was bullied in school, sure, what kid who doesn't fit in isn't bullied? But nothing abusive that I couldn't handle. And everyone knew my older siblings, who went to the same school or even rode the same bus, would put their foot down if it got too much for me to handle. And besides, my primary antagonizer is currently dead, from committing suicide. I was impassive to that news, it was just his choice as far as I was concerned.
I have lived with my mental instability for years now. I usually find I am unhappy with myself, my life, no matter what I do to change it. However when I am with someone, romantically, I don't give the depression one chance to set in. I am happy, I am emotionally stable. My triggers involve the abandonment and back stabbing nature of a breakup. But in the moment, while I am with them, I feel at peace. I know things are going to work out. I live for the other person, knowing I am making their life that much better. I like to think, anyways.
I was raised in a middle class suburban neighborhood. Fresh cut grass, kids playing frisbee, and homemade icecream were the worst things I encountered. A lot of my mental anguish I have made up on my own. Depression has been near debilitating some days. I don't want to be on medication as I simply don't believe in it. Silly, I know, but I don't like pills anymore.
I was bullied in school, sure, what kid who doesn't fit in isn't bullied? But nothing abusive that I couldn't handle. And everyone knew my older siblings, who went to the same school or even rode the same bus, would put their foot down if it got too much for me to handle. And besides, my primary antagonizer is currently dead, from committing suicide. I was impassive to that news, it was just his choice as far as I was concerned.
I have lived with my mental instability for years now. I usually find I am unhappy with myself, my life, no matter what I do to change it. However when I am with someone, romantically, I don't give the depression one chance to set in. I am happy, I am emotionally stable. My triggers involve the abandonment and back stabbing nature of a breakup. But in the moment, while I am with them, I feel at peace. I know things are going to work out. I live for the other person, knowing I am making their life that much better. I like to think, anyways.