(no subject)
I hope my adventures into the relatively uncharted waters of Nootropic stacks, are adventures in success and discovery.
I sure am sick of this weird mania that i seem to exist within, somewhere mixed between beer, wine, whiskey, uni work, actual work, screeching sorrow, writhing musical extascy, headaches, sleepless nights, constant anxiety, panic attacks, lifting bulk weights, losing fat, gaining muscle. And somewhere in there is a mix of what I can be, what I was, and what I miss being. Sometimes I feel like trying to scoop my brain out - via my eyes - metaphorically - using a spoon. But the physical reality is much less appealing.
SO many thoughts
So many unconnected thoughts.
SO much. Something something.
If I could cry for help I think I would. But then when I wake up tomorrow no doubt, once again, this will all seem like some sort of strange disconnected dream that I struggle to feel. So much disconnect.
Perhaps at some level I am fractured. Peeling apart. Who knows, aside from maybee the raging horses and their strangely alluring riders, roaring inside the tight confines of my mishapen skull.
I sure am sick of this weird mania that i seem to exist within, somewhere mixed between beer, wine, whiskey, uni work, actual work, screeching sorrow, writhing musical extascy, headaches, sleepless nights, constant anxiety, panic attacks, lifting bulk weights, losing fat, gaining muscle. And somewhere in there is a mix of what I can be, what I was, and what I miss being. Sometimes I feel like trying to scoop my brain out - via my eyes - metaphorically - using a spoon. But the physical reality is much less appealing.
SO many thoughts
So many unconnected thoughts.
SO much. Something something.
If I could cry for help I think I would. But then when I wake up tomorrow no doubt, once again, this will all seem like some sort of strange disconnected dream that I struggle to feel. So much disconnect.
Perhaps at some level I am fractured. Peeling apart. Who knows, aside from maybee the raging horses and their strangely alluring riders, roaring inside the tight confines of my mishapen skull.