ROFL WAFFLE
OH lordy..funniest joke I've heard in a long time:
A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the car on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?"
Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."
The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"
Well, I don't really ahve anything else to write about except one event. The other day I was going to Party Galaxy to see what they had for Halloween yanno. Well, I go through the wrong door, and I realize I'm in a restaurant, which I guessed at first glance was probably of middle eastern origin. Turns out it was a Mexican restaurant called Tulio's.
So I'm inside this place and the next thing I know I'm being handed a menu and seated. I'm a little embarassed cuz I feel pretty dumb so I decide to just go along with it. I sat down at my table for one and looked at the menu. Everything was like 8 or 9 bucks, so I was like uhh, suddenly I feel really dumb cuz I don't wanna get a 9 dollar meal just to avoid looking like an ass when I'm not even hungry. Anyway, I found lunch specials and got a chicken burrito...for like 7 bucks lol. Anyway, I asked for it to go, and the waitress chick looked kinda disappointed cuz she thought she wasn't going to get a tip or something. So I felt bad because she DID bring me the chips, queso and salsa, and a water, so I gave her like a 2 dollar tip just for bringing a bag of food out. Meal was only 7 bucks anyway, thats pretty good considering you're sposed to give like 15% and that was almost 30%. So if she didn't like it, she can deal.
Anyway, took my food home...turned out to be an entire meal. I got two chicken burritos, some rice, and some refried beans. And they also gave me some chips and queso and salsa to take home. My mom looked at me weird when I walked in cuz I said I was going to the party store, and here I am with food. Anyway, after I finished explaining and laughing at myself, I ate. It turned out to be DAMN good too. In fact, the beans were the best I've ever had.
I'd have to say it was the best mistake I've ever made.
Then later I went to Blockbuster...I've rented the original Halloween, original Amityville Horror (go figure eh), and the original version of The Fog...and one of the newer Halloweens. I'ma lock myself in and watch em all night long. The cute chick that worked there said the original Amityville Horror was a great choice...she's into horror movies. How cool is that? I think I'm love...lol nah, but I'm gonna talk to her sometime. Any girl thats that damn cute and not only likes horror movies but has "good taste" in em is a keeper. Either that or a serial killer...and that only makes her more attractive baby! Ya hurrd.
A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the car on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?"
Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."
The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"
Well, I don't really ahve anything else to write about except one event. The other day I was going to Party Galaxy to see what they had for Halloween yanno. Well, I go through the wrong door, and I realize I'm in a restaurant, which I guessed at first glance was probably of middle eastern origin. Turns out it was a Mexican restaurant called Tulio's.
So I'm inside this place and the next thing I know I'm being handed a menu and seated. I'm a little embarassed cuz I feel pretty dumb so I decide to just go along with it. I sat down at my table for one and looked at the menu. Everything was like 8 or 9 bucks, so I was like uhh, suddenly I feel really dumb cuz I don't wanna get a 9 dollar meal just to avoid looking like an ass when I'm not even hungry. Anyway, I found lunch specials and got a chicken burrito...for like 7 bucks lol. Anyway, I asked for it to go, and the waitress chick looked kinda disappointed cuz she thought she wasn't going to get a tip or something. So I felt bad because she DID bring me the chips, queso and salsa, and a water, so I gave her like a 2 dollar tip just for bringing a bag of food out. Meal was only 7 bucks anyway, thats pretty good considering you're sposed to give like 15% and that was almost 30%. So if she didn't like it, she can deal.
Anyway, took my food home...turned out to be an entire meal. I got two chicken burritos, some rice, and some refried beans. And they also gave me some chips and queso and salsa to take home. My mom looked at me weird when I walked in cuz I said I was going to the party store, and here I am with food. Anyway, after I finished explaining and laughing at myself, I ate. It turned out to be DAMN good too. In fact, the beans were the best I've ever had.
I'd have to say it was the best mistake I've ever made.
Then later I went to Blockbuster...I've rented the original Halloween, original Amityville Horror (go figure eh), and the original version of The Fog...and one of the newer Halloweens. I'ma lock myself in and watch em all night long. The cute chick that worked there said the original Amityville Horror was a great choice...she's into horror movies. How cool is that? I think I'm love...lol nah, but I'm gonna talk to her sometime. Any girl thats that damn cute and not only likes horror movies but has "good taste" in em is a keeper. Either that or a serial killer...and that only makes her more attractive baby! Ya hurrd.