Lord of the Rings: A Fool's Hope
Title: A Fool's Hope
Fandom: The Lord of the Rings (Film)
Characters/Pairings: Merry/Pippin
Genre: Romance/Drama
Word Count: 3,774
Summary: Pippin is alone at Minis Tirith. He must find strength and try to help Merry.
Author's Note: So, I'm completely in love with these two right now. Can you tell? Again, this is based on the movie for reasons of I'm not too sure about canon and because of some stolen dialogue. I did, however, include a little joke about the how-Faramir-was-saved discrepancy that isn't actually very funny unless you really get it. It's still not really that funny then, but whatever, I was amused.
Fanfiction Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3711051/1/A_Fools_Hope
Even through the shadow of Mordor, the moon cast its light on Minis Tirith. There had not been a single man, woman, or child idle in the city for weeks. The streets were crowded with men preparing for battle, and with women and children preparing to flee. Despite the chaos of the approaching war, the fear, and the preparation, on that final day before the Great War, all fell silent once night had arrived.
The moonlight which somehow penetrated the darkness of the enemy cast an ethereal glow on the city. The splendor of the glory days of Gondor seemed restored. This was the heart of Men on Middle-Earth. Once the Numenoreans had built it and the kings of Gondor had ruled from its throne and although that line was broken, the history and the beauty of the White City brought back its former dignity. There was not one man among them who could regret dying for such a city.
On the seventh and highest level of the White City, in the Steward’s own halls, there was one city guard who neither took pride in his service to the city, nor to the Steward. It is true that no man of Gondor knew regret as the battle approached but this was no man and certainly no man of Gondor; the soldier in question was a hobbit of the Shire. He felt neither pride nor sense of duty…in truth, he felt only frightened, foolish, and very much alone.
“I never thought I would end up alone in such a strange place…expected to fight alongside great men in great battles,” the hobbit said to himself out loud, “but then, if I ever really thought about anything I suppose I’d still be with Merry at Edoras.”
Pippin sat by the balcony and looked out in wonder at the tranquility that could exist in a city sure to be flattened by the next nightfall. “The deep breath before the plunge,” Gandalf had called it. No sound was heard but the rumbling of the Mountain of Fire and the distant sounds of troops marching…battle drums…orcs and worse coming to destroy the city, and Pippin inside of it.
“At least Merry’s safe,” Pippin thought and turning his eye to the summit of Mount Doom, he wondered if he would be wrong to say the same for Frodo and Sam.
The hobbit had wanted to help defend his friends and to repay the sacrifice of Boromir, but it had not occurred to him when he so foolishly offered his service to the Steward that he would actually be expected to fight. Even the uniform of the citadel guards which had been so beautiful when first given to him was oppressive and unwelcome once he was actually wearing it.
It is never a welcome task, to a hobbit, to fight. Although all the hobbits had been quick to become engaged in battles with the fellowship to protect Frodo and each other, Pippin was not ready to go to a real war…he was afraid.
“Merry would be so brave if he were here,” Pippin thought. “He would think me so cowardly…I should be willing to die for Frodo…but I don’t see how I can help him this way, I don’t see how I can help anyone this way.”
He thought of Merry almost the entire time he sat there and he wondered where he was and what he would say if he knew what Pippin had done. Would he be proud that he had volunteered to fight? Would he give him that look he always gave him when he did something stupid? He began to imagine how different it would be if Merry were there. He would not be afraid; he would not be a coward. He would be inspired because his friend would be there, so strong and willing to sacrifice his own safety, and he would fight to make sure Merry was alright, just as Merry would fight for him. But Merry was not there, there was no one to fight for, and there was little hope that there ever would be again.
“If he had only made that promise! If he had just said we would see each other again, I wouldn’t have to be scared,” Pippin reflected. So great was his trust in his friend that if Merry had only said they would meet again he would need nothing more to believe it were true and he would not despair going into battle because how could he fall if Merry had promised he wouldn’t? But he didn’t promise…Pippin had no reason to hope they would meet and without Merry’s courage it proved difficult to find his own.
Despite his fear and dejection, once the battle began and the city was breached, Pippin went readily to his station. He met Gandalf and was proud because he put his sword through an orc who tried to sneak up on the wizard. He almost wanted to say he had saved Gandalf, but in reality he knew there was little chance Gandalf would not have sensed the orc in time. Yet once the pride of that moment had worn away, and it was not long in doing so, he looked about him and froze with terror.
“Go back to where you are safe, Peregrin Took! Serve the Steward where you can be of use to him, or else, stay out of his way. This is no place for a hobbit.” Gandalf ordered when he saw that Peregrin had come out and the hobbit did not hesitate to obey.
One must not think Pippin a coward or even believe that he was useless because he did not fight. There are many ways to be brave; Pippin was no warrior but he did not cower until the battle had ended. Some say it was Pippin himself who saved the Steward’s son from his father’s madness. None argue that if he did not leap upon the pyre himself, he is at least the one who raised the alarm for those who would save Faramir against their master’s will. It is no small task of daring to challenge a man of such power, especially for one as small as all hobbits are.
However, it is not for saving Captain Faramir that Peregrin’s story must be told. Though it is rarely so, the greatest tale of Master Peregrin’s part in the War of the Ring took place in the hours after the battle had already been won. Although many men that day showed bravery and strength against all manners of fearsome foes, it was Peregrin alone who risked his life while the men of Gondor celebrated their victory.
When he heard of the victory on the Pelennor Fields, Pippin was both shocked and overjoyed. He greeted Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli with relief and sincere joy when they were reunited. It did not occur to him that anything was wrong, in truth he seemed to have forgotten in the haze of victory that it was Sauron’s armies, not Sauron himself, that had been defeated. Even when it was announced that Lady Eowyn had been found on the fields he did not think of what had really happened…Pippin was always rather slow in figuring things out. He had only one thought and that was to know Merry was safe and how long it could be until they would see each other again.
“Lord...King?...Mr. Eomer, your highness!” the hobbit said stupidly grabbing the new king’s cape and tugging gently to get his attention. Eomer turned and looked at the hobbit with great amusement.
“Yes, Master Hobbit, what is it you want?”
“I was wondering if…actually…if you knew where Merry is.”
“Merry was not allowed to ride with us, Master Hobbit. My uncle wisely ordered him to stay at Dunharrow. By now he should be safe within the walls of Edoras…just as my sister would be, if she were not so stubborn.”
Pippin gave a sigh of relief and was satisfied with what he heard, but before he had time to leave the room and return to his own rooms, Eowyn cried out.
“Merry!”
Pippin immediately knew that something was wrong; he hastened to Eowyn’s side.
“What about Merry?” he asked desperately.
“Merry rode with me from Dunharrow. It was he who let me fell the Witch King but in saving me, I fear he was injured.”
“Injured? What do you mean injured?”
“He was not slain, but his arm suffered from the impact with the Wraith. I did not see what came to pass…I became unconscious after my own confrontation with him. I do not know how long he could have fought without his arm…I’m sorry. Merry wanted to fight. He wanted to fight, just like I did, for those he loved, for you and for the others of your kin. He had every right to fight, just as I had every right. He would not have wanted you to mourn his decision.”
“He must be dead by now. You had no right to disobey Théoden’s wishes, least of all with another’s life.” Eomer said angrily to Eowyn.
“Dead?” Pippin cried, “Merry’s not dead!”
He ran from the halls where he had met with the Rohirrim but he did not hasten to Aragorn’s side. He ran immediately towards the fields.
“You can’t go onto the field, little one,” the guards said at the door. “There are orcs still alive who will kill you just for spite if they see you about. We must wait to collect our dead until it is safe.”
“If I wait until its safe my friend will be dead!” he answered and without giving the guards a second thought he fled towards the battle grounds. He was not pursued for the guards did not have permission to leave their posts and he immediately set at work to find his friend. Long hours passed away as he searched, yet once the sun was setting he had still found no sign that his friend was alive.
“I won’t turn back until I’ve found Merry or turned over every corpse looking for him…not even if I die of exhaustion before I’m finished!” he told himself and he did not once consider going back on his word.
At last he saw something familiar and hastening towards the elvish cape he grabbed it up greedily. He brought it close to him to observe it and upon confirming it was his friend’s, he hugged it closely to him. Suddenly he looked around and not finding Merry’s body, he wondered what kind of force could have undone an elvish cloak; he feared the worse.
Still holding the cloak he ran across the fields, calling his friend’s name but received no answer. He was near fainting from worry and despair when he saw hidden beneath an orc’s corpse, a single hairy foot. He dropped the cape and ran to the orc as fast as his feet would go. He pushed the orc away with some difficulty and there his friend laid, his arm broken, his face cut, his eyes shut.
“Oh, no, no Merry. Merry, please, you can’t be dead, you can’t. We won! We won, so you can’t be dead.”
There was no change in the hobbit’s pale face. Pippin cradled Merry against his chest, crying more than he ever had. Finally he put his friend back down lightly. He began to wipe the blood from his face with his own cloak when he suddenly saw Merry’s head move.
“Merry?” Pippin asked filled with hope. The wounded hobbit’s eyes opened slowly as though it caused him pain to move even that. Merry’s lips turned to a small smile when he saw his friend crying above him.
“I knew you’d find me,” he said gently. Pippin could tell he was struggling to speak. “You’re not going to leave me again?”
“No, Merry, I’m going to look after you now,” he said soothingly, and he held Merry’s head gently as he fell back asleep. He thought of going back to the city for help but he was afraid he would forget where Merry was, or that Merry would wake up and think he had left him. Instead he climbed upon the fallen Oliphant beside them and began to call out to the guard to come to help him carry his friend. In his ecstasy at having found Merry, he quite forgot the danger of being in the fields and had his friend been awake, he would have given him that look he understood so well.
As it was, no orcs responded to the call and though many of the city guards were too afraid to go onto the field, Legolas heard the hobbit’s voice and with his ability of vision and grace of movement was able to find the hobbits and carry Merry back towards the city quickly. They went immediately to the healing houses and Pippin sat at his friend’s side unwilling to leave until Merry had at least awoken once more.
“It’s been a long time,” Merry said weakly once he had finally opened his eyes and seen his friend waiting over him.
“Yes, Merry, it has.”
“Too long. I’m glad you’re here now,” Merry tried to smile but could not.
“You’re not still mad at me any more, Merry?”
“No, Pippin, No. I was only mad because I…I was worried about you. I thought this whole time that I would die out there and you would have thought I was still angry. I was so afraid that would be our last day together. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
Pippin wanted to tell him that he had every right to yell at him, that he had been troubled because he would die and Merry would never forgive him but he sat silent, crying as quietly as he could until Merry fell asleep and Pippin went to his own rooms.
In the days that followed, Pippin continued to keep his promise to Merry. He fed and cleaned his friend and did whatever Aragorn told him to do to heal him. The hobbits were left out of the debates between the others on how to strike at Mordor next, Merry because he was unable to go and Pippin because he was unwilling to leave Merry’s bedside. Free from the discussions and any mention at all about the enemy, the hobbits were able to enjoy each other’s company and were as carefree as they had been able to be since Isengard was conquered.
The healing houses of Gondor were beautiful and had large windows so that during the day, they were bathed in light. The nights were full of stars and Pippin told Merry of the contrast between the clear skies and the way the shadow had blocked all light before he had come. Merry didn’t tell his friend that the shadow would be back soon unless Frodo succeeded…he had missed Pippin’s obliviousness when he had been alone in Rohan and he did not want to come in the way of it now that he had it back.
A few days like this had passed and Pippin was returning to his friend’s side from dinner one night when he found him already asleep. He thought of going to his own chamber, or even to find out what their other friends had been discussing but he could not convince himself to leave. He was so calmed to see his friend resting and safe that he dared not leave his side. He pulled his chair closer to his Merry’s bedside and bent over to kiss him lightly on the forehead.
“I’m going to sit here with you all night, Merry. I’m going to watch over you. And when you wake up and ask how long I’ve been here, I’ll say I just arrived.”
Merry awoke the next morning overcome by fear. He felt something heavy upon his chest and was sure death was coming. He turned his head as much as he could but Pippin was not there. He did not feel pain, but on his chest there was a great weight and he knew not what caused it. Finally, lifting his hands to inspect it, he realized that it was covered in hair and struggling to sit up, he perceived that Pippin had fallen asleep leaning over him and ended up with his head pressed against his chest.
He knew that he should wake him up, and worried that he had quite forgotten to take proper care of himself while he was tending Merry, but he could not wake him up. He could not help it that he loved to have Pippin so close and knowing that he would never lie there willingly, Merry stroked his hair gently and waited enraptured for his friend to awake.
Pippin slept until well past midday, Merry wondered how he could be so tired. Of course Merry didn’t know how long he had sat awake watching him sleep just as, when Pippin awoke, Merry did not tell him how long he had left him sleeping.
When he awoke Pippin sat up with a sudden jump.
“Where? How? What?” He asked, still half asleep and unsure of how he had ended up where he was. He looked around and as he remembered how he had fallen asleep he turned red and hid his face.
“I think you’ve been working a bit too hard, Pippin,” Merry said cheerfully.
“I…umm…how long were you awake?”
“Not very long, I couldn’t have very well sat here with you squeezing the air out of my lungs for very long.”
“I’m sorry, Merry. I must have been tired last night when I got back from dinner. I don’t even remember coming back here; I must have come to check on you and fallen right asleep.”
Merry wasn’t sure how to read his friend’s uneasiness so he simply changed the subject and before long they were as playful as ever. Pippin told Merry about Boromir’s father and brother and what had happened between them. Merry spoke of Lady Eowyn and how kind she had been to him, before long Pippin grew jealous.
“Well, who would have thought a Brandybuck would fall in love with a bigfolk woman! Next thing you know I’ll find myself an Entwife.”
“Peregrin Took, are you still playing dumb?” Merry asked, trying to sound more lighthearted than he really felt.
“Come now, Merry. You know better than anyone I never have to play dumb,” Pippin responded with the same forced playfulness.
Merry shook his head. “You’re not dumb, and I’m not in love with her.”
“Of course you are, and you have every right to be, she’s lovely, she’s…brave. Why wouldn’t you be in love with her?”
“Because I love someone else too much already,” he replied. Pippin’s back was turned, he did not see his friend watching his responses closely and the jealousy that had been lifted when Merry said he didn’t love Eowyn came crawling back.
“And, who might that be?” he asked trying to sound as though he cared less than he did.
“You must know.”
Pippin thought of everyone they knew, but could think of no one. Merry had never spent much time with the she-hobbits like Sam had spent time with Rosie; he had always been with Pippin, thinking of mischief to trick his friend into. For a moment, his heart sped up…could it be him? After all, he had always let his friend trick him just to be with him, could it be that Merry had been spending his time with him for the same reason? But the thought lasted only a moment, Pippin didn’t know why he wanted Merry but he knew that it was probably due to some perversity in his bloodline…Tooks were known for being disagreeably strange. Merry was clever, and brave and strong. There was no where in Merry the folly that Pippin was so well known for, he could never feel the same for Pippin that Pippin felt for him.
“I don’t, Merry, I really can’t imagine who it could be.”
“Never mind, Pippin. If you don’t know, there’s no point in telling you.”
Pippin heard the melancholy in his voice and for the first time in his life asked himself if Merry resented having a friend who was so inferior. He wondered if Merry would not be happier with Frodo as his companion…Frodo was only a little less perceptive than Merry and it was not fair, in Pippin’s opinion, to compare any hobbit to Merry. Neither spoke for a time and after a short period, Pippin decided to leave Merry to his thoughts. He did not return until late when he brought Merry his dinner. Merry seemed to be in better spirits than he had been and Pippin was eager to pretend he had forgotten the mood he had put him in.
When he had fed his friend and had eaten his own dinner, he began to cleanse Merry’s wounds. Like every other day he began to wash his friend but he felt strange when he was cleaning the cut on his chest; he felt as though Merry could understand the thrill he felt when he touched him. He tried to pull his hand away but Merry restrained him.
“Merry…”
“Why’d you leave me today, Pippin?”
Pippin’s lips began to tremble. He struggled to think about what to say and not about where Merry happened to chose to stay his hand.
“I thought you didn’t want me here.”
Merry’s hand reached up and pushed the hair in front of Pippin’s face behind his ear. He looked at him for a few moments and let his fingers rest behind Pippin’s ear.
“I always want you here.”
Pippin loosened his hand and brought it to where Merry’s hand was, intending to tear it away. Pippin knew Merry was only being friendly but he couldn’t help feeling more and was worried that he would betray himself if he didn’t leave his friend soon.
“I have to go, Merry, I really do.”
He still had not torn his friend’s hand away and he felt as though he could not. Finally, Pippin turned and pressed a kiss into Merry’s hand and Merry’s smile widened. Pippin looked at his friend, expecting to see anger or at least confusion and finding neither, finally understood him. Bending over Merry’s bedside, Pippin pressed a kiss against his friend’s lips so powerful, the injured hobbit cried out. Pippin paused for a moment to make sure his friend was alright and more softly, but with no less passion, Pippin kissed Merry again.
Fandom: The Lord of the Rings (Film)
Characters/Pairings: Merry/Pippin
Genre: Romance/Drama
Word Count: 3,774
Summary: Pippin is alone at Minis Tirith. He must find strength and try to help Merry.
Author's Note: So, I'm completely in love with these two right now. Can you tell? Again, this is based on the movie for reasons of I'm not too sure about canon and because of some stolen dialogue. I did, however, include a little joke about the how-Faramir-was-saved discrepancy that isn't actually very funny unless you really get it. It's still not really that funny then, but whatever, I was amused.
Fanfiction Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3711051/1/A_Fools_Hope
Even through the shadow of Mordor, the moon cast its light on Minis Tirith. There had not been a single man, woman, or child idle in the city for weeks. The streets were crowded with men preparing for battle, and with women and children preparing to flee. Despite the chaos of the approaching war, the fear, and the preparation, on that final day before the Great War, all fell silent once night had arrived.
The moonlight which somehow penetrated the darkness of the enemy cast an ethereal glow on the city. The splendor of the glory days of Gondor seemed restored. This was the heart of Men on Middle-Earth. Once the Numenoreans had built it and the kings of Gondor had ruled from its throne and although that line was broken, the history and the beauty of the White City brought back its former dignity. There was not one man among them who could regret dying for such a city.
On the seventh and highest level of the White City, in the Steward’s own halls, there was one city guard who neither took pride in his service to the city, nor to the Steward. It is true that no man of Gondor knew regret as the battle approached but this was no man and certainly no man of Gondor; the soldier in question was a hobbit of the Shire. He felt neither pride nor sense of duty…in truth, he felt only frightened, foolish, and very much alone.
“I never thought I would end up alone in such a strange place…expected to fight alongside great men in great battles,” the hobbit said to himself out loud, “but then, if I ever really thought about anything I suppose I’d still be with Merry at Edoras.”
Pippin sat by the balcony and looked out in wonder at the tranquility that could exist in a city sure to be flattened by the next nightfall. “The deep breath before the plunge,” Gandalf had called it. No sound was heard but the rumbling of the Mountain of Fire and the distant sounds of troops marching…battle drums…orcs and worse coming to destroy the city, and Pippin inside of it.
“At least Merry’s safe,” Pippin thought and turning his eye to the summit of Mount Doom, he wondered if he would be wrong to say the same for Frodo and Sam.
The hobbit had wanted to help defend his friends and to repay the sacrifice of Boromir, but it had not occurred to him when he so foolishly offered his service to the Steward that he would actually be expected to fight. Even the uniform of the citadel guards which had been so beautiful when first given to him was oppressive and unwelcome once he was actually wearing it.
It is never a welcome task, to a hobbit, to fight. Although all the hobbits had been quick to become engaged in battles with the fellowship to protect Frodo and each other, Pippin was not ready to go to a real war…he was afraid.
“Merry would be so brave if he were here,” Pippin thought. “He would think me so cowardly…I should be willing to die for Frodo…but I don’t see how I can help him this way, I don’t see how I can help anyone this way.”
He thought of Merry almost the entire time he sat there and he wondered where he was and what he would say if he knew what Pippin had done. Would he be proud that he had volunteered to fight? Would he give him that look he always gave him when he did something stupid? He began to imagine how different it would be if Merry were there. He would not be afraid; he would not be a coward. He would be inspired because his friend would be there, so strong and willing to sacrifice his own safety, and he would fight to make sure Merry was alright, just as Merry would fight for him. But Merry was not there, there was no one to fight for, and there was little hope that there ever would be again.
“If he had only made that promise! If he had just said we would see each other again, I wouldn’t have to be scared,” Pippin reflected. So great was his trust in his friend that if Merry had only said they would meet again he would need nothing more to believe it were true and he would not despair going into battle because how could he fall if Merry had promised he wouldn’t? But he didn’t promise…Pippin had no reason to hope they would meet and without Merry’s courage it proved difficult to find his own.
Despite his fear and dejection, once the battle began and the city was breached, Pippin went readily to his station. He met Gandalf and was proud because he put his sword through an orc who tried to sneak up on the wizard. He almost wanted to say he had saved Gandalf, but in reality he knew there was little chance Gandalf would not have sensed the orc in time. Yet once the pride of that moment had worn away, and it was not long in doing so, he looked about him and froze with terror.
“Go back to where you are safe, Peregrin Took! Serve the Steward where you can be of use to him, or else, stay out of his way. This is no place for a hobbit.” Gandalf ordered when he saw that Peregrin had come out and the hobbit did not hesitate to obey.
One must not think Pippin a coward or even believe that he was useless because he did not fight. There are many ways to be brave; Pippin was no warrior but he did not cower until the battle had ended. Some say it was Pippin himself who saved the Steward’s son from his father’s madness. None argue that if he did not leap upon the pyre himself, he is at least the one who raised the alarm for those who would save Faramir against their master’s will. It is no small task of daring to challenge a man of such power, especially for one as small as all hobbits are.
However, it is not for saving Captain Faramir that Peregrin’s story must be told. Though it is rarely so, the greatest tale of Master Peregrin’s part in the War of the Ring took place in the hours after the battle had already been won. Although many men that day showed bravery and strength against all manners of fearsome foes, it was Peregrin alone who risked his life while the men of Gondor celebrated their victory.
When he heard of the victory on the Pelennor Fields, Pippin was both shocked and overjoyed. He greeted Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli with relief and sincere joy when they were reunited. It did not occur to him that anything was wrong, in truth he seemed to have forgotten in the haze of victory that it was Sauron’s armies, not Sauron himself, that had been defeated. Even when it was announced that Lady Eowyn had been found on the fields he did not think of what had really happened…Pippin was always rather slow in figuring things out. He had only one thought and that was to know Merry was safe and how long it could be until they would see each other again.
“Lord...King?...Mr. Eomer, your highness!” the hobbit said stupidly grabbing the new king’s cape and tugging gently to get his attention. Eomer turned and looked at the hobbit with great amusement.
“Yes, Master Hobbit, what is it you want?”
“I was wondering if…actually…if you knew where Merry is.”
“Merry was not allowed to ride with us, Master Hobbit. My uncle wisely ordered him to stay at Dunharrow. By now he should be safe within the walls of Edoras…just as my sister would be, if she were not so stubborn.”
Pippin gave a sigh of relief and was satisfied with what he heard, but before he had time to leave the room and return to his own rooms, Eowyn cried out.
“Merry!”
Pippin immediately knew that something was wrong; he hastened to Eowyn’s side.
“What about Merry?” he asked desperately.
“Merry rode with me from Dunharrow. It was he who let me fell the Witch King but in saving me, I fear he was injured.”
“Injured? What do you mean injured?”
“He was not slain, but his arm suffered from the impact with the Wraith. I did not see what came to pass…I became unconscious after my own confrontation with him. I do not know how long he could have fought without his arm…I’m sorry. Merry wanted to fight. He wanted to fight, just like I did, for those he loved, for you and for the others of your kin. He had every right to fight, just as I had every right. He would not have wanted you to mourn his decision.”
“He must be dead by now. You had no right to disobey Théoden’s wishes, least of all with another’s life.” Eomer said angrily to Eowyn.
“Dead?” Pippin cried, “Merry’s not dead!”
He ran from the halls where he had met with the Rohirrim but he did not hasten to Aragorn’s side. He ran immediately towards the fields.
“You can’t go onto the field, little one,” the guards said at the door. “There are orcs still alive who will kill you just for spite if they see you about. We must wait to collect our dead until it is safe.”
“If I wait until its safe my friend will be dead!” he answered and without giving the guards a second thought he fled towards the battle grounds. He was not pursued for the guards did not have permission to leave their posts and he immediately set at work to find his friend. Long hours passed away as he searched, yet once the sun was setting he had still found no sign that his friend was alive.
“I won’t turn back until I’ve found Merry or turned over every corpse looking for him…not even if I die of exhaustion before I’m finished!” he told himself and he did not once consider going back on his word.
At last he saw something familiar and hastening towards the elvish cape he grabbed it up greedily. He brought it close to him to observe it and upon confirming it was his friend’s, he hugged it closely to him. Suddenly he looked around and not finding Merry’s body, he wondered what kind of force could have undone an elvish cloak; he feared the worse.
Still holding the cloak he ran across the fields, calling his friend’s name but received no answer. He was near fainting from worry and despair when he saw hidden beneath an orc’s corpse, a single hairy foot. He dropped the cape and ran to the orc as fast as his feet would go. He pushed the orc away with some difficulty and there his friend laid, his arm broken, his face cut, his eyes shut.
“Oh, no, no Merry. Merry, please, you can’t be dead, you can’t. We won! We won, so you can’t be dead.”
There was no change in the hobbit’s pale face. Pippin cradled Merry against his chest, crying more than he ever had. Finally he put his friend back down lightly. He began to wipe the blood from his face with his own cloak when he suddenly saw Merry’s head move.
“Merry?” Pippin asked filled with hope. The wounded hobbit’s eyes opened slowly as though it caused him pain to move even that. Merry’s lips turned to a small smile when he saw his friend crying above him.
“I knew you’d find me,” he said gently. Pippin could tell he was struggling to speak. “You’re not going to leave me again?”
“No, Merry, I’m going to look after you now,” he said soothingly, and he held Merry’s head gently as he fell back asleep. He thought of going back to the city for help but he was afraid he would forget where Merry was, or that Merry would wake up and think he had left him. Instead he climbed upon the fallen Oliphant beside them and began to call out to the guard to come to help him carry his friend. In his ecstasy at having found Merry, he quite forgot the danger of being in the fields and had his friend been awake, he would have given him that look he understood so well.
As it was, no orcs responded to the call and though many of the city guards were too afraid to go onto the field, Legolas heard the hobbit’s voice and with his ability of vision and grace of movement was able to find the hobbits and carry Merry back towards the city quickly. They went immediately to the healing houses and Pippin sat at his friend’s side unwilling to leave until Merry had at least awoken once more.
“It’s been a long time,” Merry said weakly once he had finally opened his eyes and seen his friend waiting over him.
“Yes, Merry, it has.”
“Too long. I’m glad you’re here now,” Merry tried to smile but could not.
“You’re not still mad at me any more, Merry?”
“No, Pippin, No. I was only mad because I…I was worried about you. I thought this whole time that I would die out there and you would have thought I was still angry. I was so afraid that would be our last day together. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
Pippin wanted to tell him that he had every right to yell at him, that he had been troubled because he would die and Merry would never forgive him but he sat silent, crying as quietly as he could until Merry fell asleep and Pippin went to his own rooms.
In the days that followed, Pippin continued to keep his promise to Merry. He fed and cleaned his friend and did whatever Aragorn told him to do to heal him. The hobbits were left out of the debates between the others on how to strike at Mordor next, Merry because he was unable to go and Pippin because he was unwilling to leave Merry’s bedside. Free from the discussions and any mention at all about the enemy, the hobbits were able to enjoy each other’s company and were as carefree as they had been able to be since Isengard was conquered.
The healing houses of Gondor were beautiful and had large windows so that during the day, they were bathed in light. The nights were full of stars and Pippin told Merry of the contrast between the clear skies and the way the shadow had blocked all light before he had come. Merry didn’t tell his friend that the shadow would be back soon unless Frodo succeeded…he had missed Pippin’s obliviousness when he had been alone in Rohan and he did not want to come in the way of it now that he had it back.
A few days like this had passed and Pippin was returning to his friend’s side from dinner one night when he found him already asleep. He thought of going to his own chamber, or even to find out what their other friends had been discussing but he could not convince himself to leave. He was so calmed to see his friend resting and safe that he dared not leave his side. He pulled his chair closer to his Merry’s bedside and bent over to kiss him lightly on the forehead.
“I’m going to sit here with you all night, Merry. I’m going to watch over you. And when you wake up and ask how long I’ve been here, I’ll say I just arrived.”
Merry awoke the next morning overcome by fear. He felt something heavy upon his chest and was sure death was coming. He turned his head as much as he could but Pippin was not there. He did not feel pain, but on his chest there was a great weight and he knew not what caused it. Finally, lifting his hands to inspect it, he realized that it was covered in hair and struggling to sit up, he perceived that Pippin had fallen asleep leaning over him and ended up with his head pressed against his chest.
He knew that he should wake him up, and worried that he had quite forgotten to take proper care of himself while he was tending Merry, but he could not wake him up. He could not help it that he loved to have Pippin so close and knowing that he would never lie there willingly, Merry stroked his hair gently and waited enraptured for his friend to awake.
Pippin slept until well past midday, Merry wondered how he could be so tired. Of course Merry didn’t know how long he had sat awake watching him sleep just as, when Pippin awoke, Merry did not tell him how long he had left him sleeping.
When he awoke Pippin sat up with a sudden jump.
“Where? How? What?” He asked, still half asleep and unsure of how he had ended up where he was. He looked around and as he remembered how he had fallen asleep he turned red and hid his face.
“I think you’ve been working a bit too hard, Pippin,” Merry said cheerfully.
“I…umm…how long were you awake?”
“Not very long, I couldn’t have very well sat here with you squeezing the air out of my lungs for very long.”
“I’m sorry, Merry. I must have been tired last night when I got back from dinner. I don’t even remember coming back here; I must have come to check on you and fallen right asleep.”
Merry wasn’t sure how to read his friend’s uneasiness so he simply changed the subject and before long they were as playful as ever. Pippin told Merry about Boromir’s father and brother and what had happened between them. Merry spoke of Lady Eowyn and how kind she had been to him, before long Pippin grew jealous.
“Well, who would have thought a Brandybuck would fall in love with a bigfolk woman! Next thing you know I’ll find myself an Entwife.”
“Peregrin Took, are you still playing dumb?” Merry asked, trying to sound more lighthearted than he really felt.
“Come now, Merry. You know better than anyone I never have to play dumb,” Pippin responded with the same forced playfulness.
Merry shook his head. “You’re not dumb, and I’m not in love with her.”
“Of course you are, and you have every right to be, she’s lovely, she’s…brave. Why wouldn’t you be in love with her?”
“Because I love someone else too much already,” he replied. Pippin’s back was turned, he did not see his friend watching his responses closely and the jealousy that had been lifted when Merry said he didn’t love Eowyn came crawling back.
“And, who might that be?” he asked trying to sound as though he cared less than he did.
“You must know.”
Pippin thought of everyone they knew, but could think of no one. Merry had never spent much time with the she-hobbits like Sam had spent time with Rosie; he had always been with Pippin, thinking of mischief to trick his friend into. For a moment, his heart sped up…could it be him? After all, he had always let his friend trick him just to be with him, could it be that Merry had been spending his time with him for the same reason? But the thought lasted only a moment, Pippin didn’t know why he wanted Merry but he knew that it was probably due to some perversity in his bloodline…Tooks were known for being disagreeably strange. Merry was clever, and brave and strong. There was no where in Merry the folly that Pippin was so well known for, he could never feel the same for Pippin that Pippin felt for him.
“I don’t, Merry, I really can’t imagine who it could be.”
“Never mind, Pippin. If you don’t know, there’s no point in telling you.”
Pippin heard the melancholy in his voice and for the first time in his life asked himself if Merry resented having a friend who was so inferior. He wondered if Merry would not be happier with Frodo as his companion…Frodo was only a little less perceptive than Merry and it was not fair, in Pippin’s opinion, to compare any hobbit to Merry. Neither spoke for a time and after a short period, Pippin decided to leave Merry to his thoughts. He did not return until late when he brought Merry his dinner. Merry seemed to be in better spirits than he had been and Pippin was eager to pretend he had forgotten the mood he had put him in.
When he had fed his friend and had eaten his own dinner, he began to cleanse Merry’s wounds. Like every other day he began to wash his friend but he felt strange when he was cleaning the cut on his chest; he felt as though Merry could understand the thrill he felt when he touched him. He tried to pull his hand away but Merry restrained him.
“Merry…”
“Why’d you leave me today, Pippin?”
Pippin’s lips began to tremble. He struggled to think about what to say and not about where Merry happened to chose to stay his hand.
“I thought you didn’t want me here.”
Merry’s hand reached up and pushed the hair in front of Pippin’s face behind his ear. He looked at him for a few moments and let his fingers rest behind Pippin’s ear.
“I always want you here.”
Pippin loosened his hand and brought it to where Merry’s hand was, intending to tear it away. Pippin knew Merry was only being friendly but he couldn’t help feeling more and was worried that he would betray himself if he didn’t leave his friend soon.
“I have to go, Merry, I really do.”
He still had not torn his friend’s hand away and he felt as though he could not. Finally, Pippin turned and pressed a kiss into Merry’s hand and Merry’s smile widened. Pippin looked at his friend, expecting to see anger or at least confusion and finding neither, finally understood him. Bending over Merry’s bedside, Pippin pressed a kiss against his friend’s lips so powerful, the injured hobbit cried out. Pippin paused for a moment to make sure his friend was alright and more softly, but with no less passion, Pippin kissed Merry again.