RENT: Moral Support
Title: Moral Support
Characters: Roger, Maureen
Word Count: 685
Genre: General, Humor (minus the funniness)
Summary: Roger ‘bumps’ into Maureen.
Author's Note: This was an entry for speed_rent.
Original Link: http://community.livejournal.com/speed_rent/4833.html
Roger stretched his arm out to block his eyes from the blinding sun scowling at its bright rays; he’d almost forgotten why he rarely woke up before noon. He walked on blindly, not really knowing where he was going, and not particularly caring.
SMACK, he felt himself stroll right into someone who was walking past him.
“Oops.” He said without emotion and he continued walking.
“Watch it douche!” a small brunette cried after him sounding far more violent than her size would have indicated.
Roger stopped in his tracks; he knew that voice…even when he wished he didn’t.
“Sorry Maureen.” He blurted out before trying to escape from actually having to interact with her. She turned quickly and reached out, grabbing his leather jacket and dragging it back. Roger struggled to the best of his abilities, more for his jacket’s sake than his own.
“Do you always maul over innocent women when you’re walking down the street?” she asked still holding his jacket firmly.
Roger desperately freed himself and instantly began to smooth the jacket out tenderly.
“I didn’t bump into anyone innocent,” Roger answered smartly, “besides; you just attempted to kill my jacket!”
Maureen giggled and tried to help him fix the wrinkles she had caused.
“Ahh! Don’t touch it!” Roger cried as though she was attempting to murder him.
“Fine! What the hell are you doing up this early in the morning anyways? Shouldn’t you be in your coffin until the sun sets?”
“If I had any common sense, that’s exactly where I’d be. In fact, I think I’ll go back to my coffin now, nice bumping into you.” He said coldly trying to hide the fact that he was relishing in the genius of his pun.
“Don’t be silly Dracula; you should hang out with me!”
Roger stared at Maureen horror stricken for a moment then he looked over his shoulder and considered making a run for it.
“I…I…can’t!” he answered.
“Why the fuck not?” Maureen said using her trademark pout.
“I…uhh…have…I need to…Christmas shopping!” he began to walk away but then turned back to make sure she wouldn’t try any more desperate attempts at his jacket.
“Roger,” she began pushing him into a nearby bench “it’s August. But if you really want to make it a merry Christmas, I know a perfect present for me! See, I need some moral support and you would be the best Santa ever if you could help me.”
Roger groaned. “Merry Christmas,” he answered sarcastically before nodding his consent and sending Maureen into a fit of happy clapping, “now sit and tell Santa what he’s gonna have to stand in line for this year."
Maureen calmed herself and plopped herself down dramatically on the bench.
“Well, I’m going to be auditioning for a really big role in a new show, and I’m actually really nervous.” Maureen confessed.
The idea of Maureen actually being nervous about something seemed completely alien to Roger but he humored her.
“Well, I say you use that classic protest for your audition. How can they not cast you when you have everyone in the room mooing like a cow?”
“It’s not funny Roger, I’m freaking out.”
“Well suck it up, fortune favors the brave.” He said, once again congratulating himself on how catchy it had sounded. Maureen took a deep breath and nodded.
“What’s the part you want anyways?”
“Well, it’s a new show about the wicked witch from the wizard of-ROGER? Why are you laughing like that?”
Roger was hunched over in a fit of hysterics, finally he was able to lift his head and speak clearly.
“You’re auditioning to play a wicked witch and you’re actually nervous?”
Maureen hit Roger lightly and crossed her arms over her chest irritably. Suddenly her face lit up.
“So you think I’ll get the part?” Maureen asked.
“There’s not a single fraction of a doubt in my mind.” Roger answered bluntly.
Two weeks later Maureen got a call telling her Roger had been right about the part...this time they both ended up doubled over on the floor from laughing.
Characters: Roger, Maureen
Word Count: 685
Genre: General, Humor (minus the funniness)
Summary: Roger ‘bumps’ into Maureen.
Author's Note: This was an entry for speed_rent.
Original Link: http://community.livejournal.com/speed_rent/4833.html
Roger stretched his arm out to block his eyes from the blinding sun scowling at its bright rays; he’d almost forgotten why he rarely woke up before noon. He walked on blindly, not really knowing where he was going, and not particularly caring.
SMACK, he felt himself stroll right into someone who was walking past him.
“Oops.” He said without emotion and he continued walking.
“Watch it douche!” a small brunette cried after him sounding far more violent than her size would have indicated.
Roger stopped in his tracks; he knew that voice…even when he wished he didn’t.
“Sorry Maureen.” He blurted out before trying to escape from actually having to interact with her. She turned quickly and reached out, grabbing his leather jacket and dragging it back. Roger struggled to the best of his abilities, more for his jacket’s sake than his own.
“Do you always maul over innocent women when you’re walking down the street?” she asked still holding his jacket firmly.
Roger desperately freed himself and instantly began to smooth the jacket out tenderly.
“I didn’t bump into anyone innocent,” Roger answered smartly, “besides; you just attempted to kill my jacket!”
Maureen giggled and tried to help him fix the wrinkles she had caused.
“Ahh! Don’t touch it!” Roger cried as though she was attempting to murder him.
“Fine! What the hell are you doing up this early in the morning anyways? Shouldn’t you be in your coffin until the sun sets?”
“If I had any common sense, that’s exactly where I’d be. In fact, I think I’ll go back to my coffin now, nice bumping into you.” He said coldly trying to hide the fact that he was relishing in the genius of his pun.
“Don’t be silly Dracula; you should hang out with me!”
Roger stared at Maureen horror stricken for a moment then he looked over his shoulder and considered making a run for it.
“I…I…can’t!” he answered.
“Why the fuck not?” Maureen said using her trademark pout.
“I…uhh…have…I need to…Christmas shopping!” he began to walk away but then turned back to make sure she wouldn’t try any more desperate attempts at his jacket.
“Roger,” she began pushing him into a nearby bench “it’s August. But if you really want to make it a merry Christmas, I know a perfect present for me! See, I need some moral support and you would be the best Santa ever if you could help me.”
Roger groaned. “Merry Christmas,” he answered sarcastically before nodding his consent and sending Maureen into a fit of happy clapping, “now sit and tell Santa what he’s gonna have to stand in line for this year."
Maureen calmed herself and plopped herself down dramatically on the bench.
“Well, I’m going to be auditioning for a really big role in a new show, and I’m actually really nervous.” Maureen confessed.
The idea of Maureen actually being nervous about something seemed completely alien to Roger but he humored her.
“Well, I say you use that classic protest for your audition. How can they not cast you when you have everyone in the room mooing like a cow?”
“It’s not funny Roger, I’m freaking out.”
“Well suck it up, fortune favors the brave.” He said, once again congratulating himself on how catchy it had sounded. Maureen took a deep breath and nodded.
“What’s the part you want anyways?”
“Well, it’s a new show about the wicked witch from the wizard of-ROGER? Why are you laughing like that?”
Roger was hunched over in a fit of hysterics, finally he was able to lift his head and speak clearly.
“You’re auditioning to play a wicked witch and you’re actually nervous?”
Maureen hit Roger lightly and crossed her arms over her chest irritably. Suddenly her face lit up.
“So you think I’ll get the part?” Maureen asked.
“There’s not a single fraction of a doubt in my mind.” Roger answered bluntly.
Two weeks later Maureen got a call telling her Roger had been right about the part...this time they both ended up doubled over on the floor from laughing.