The Funeral & The Cremation (Part 2)
The Funeral (Part 2)
Last night was the final night of the funeral and the most crowded one of all. Hordes of people showed up, and there were people from various associations that I have never heard of that came in large groups. All of their faces were alien to me, but it hardly matters.
The evening concluded with the burning of the large paper house, servants, car, gold and silver "ingots" (which is our toil and sweat for the last 2 days)
There are so many details and superstitions we had to follow for the funeral that I'm ready to believe there is a thick book written on it somewhere.
We went home late I was really really tired... I must have been insane to do my 3 days old laundry last night.
I woke up late this morning, and by the time I was ready to leave the house, a thunderstorm started brewing. In the end I arrived at the funeral quite late, due to the rain and also an act of stupidity on my part, of which I'm too embarrass to reveal.
The pall bearers and what my mum refer to as "Gong Kuan" (aka Public Relations? for the dead?? I'm not too sure as well) and the orchestra were already making the sort of din you usually hear at a chinese funeral. All the clashing and clanging is enough to make you deaf after prolong listening.
I had, by this time already changed into my mourning clothes and in addition this time, my white cotton socks. We are suppose to take a walk around the neighbourhood following the van with my grandma's casket with no other footwear then those socks on our feet.
The ground was wet from the rain, and while it isn't comfortable, it sure beats having to walk on gravel hot from the afternoon sun. I like to think that grandma sent the rain so that we didn't have to burn our soles when we walked with her for the final time.
The entire procession, besides us, include lots of friends and acquaintances who joined us as well in the walk. I guess we attract a fair bit of attention. A funeral of this size and calling isn't something you see much anymore. I did a quick count of the flower stands sent to us and there were 21, and 2 light boards (honestly I don't know what to call those) sent by associates of my dad and countless banners from the associates of my uncles. And every table we put out were full last night till we need extra chairs for the visitors.
I guess for a large extended family like ours, with the kind of influences my uncles weld, this kind of turnout is only to be expected.
We completed the walk in approximately 45 mins and after which our entire family or rather.. clan, took a chartered bus (still in our soaking wet socks) to Kuang Ming San (Bright Mountain? Shining Hill?) which, I discovered, is only a stone's throw away from where PT stays. This is the first time I have been to this place, even though it is a well known location in Singapore and my grandfathers', and some lesser known relatives' final resting places are also there.
The Cremation
This was the first time ever that I have been to a crematorium. The place is pretty huge and I vaguely remember that there were at least 3 to 4 more slots next to the one reserved by our family.
We repeat the process of kneeling down and bowing. By coincidence, I met my former poly classmate there, and mouthed to him that it was my grandma that passed away. I didn't have time to ask him why he was there, for we were next asked to walk in 3 circles around the temporary altar before the furnace.
I couldn't help tearing while I walked. My grandmother is going to be burned into ashes and .. I don't know.... It seems so final. I finally understand why sometimes it is better to bury someone.. it is a slower but easier way to let them go. I tried to control my tears, for it seems like no one else was crying. But when we finally come to a stop, I could hear sniffles all around me. By then I was too consumed in my own emotions to care. Before I could look up to watch the cremation however, I was jolted out of my misery to loud wailings.
My first thought was that my uncles had hired professional wailers to cry, even though that was soooooo passe. Then there was a commotion in front of our group and I got a shock when I realized it was my mum and my second aunt who had broken down at the sight of my grandma's casket being pushed into the furnace. I hurriedly dashed in front to my mum, and the sight of her weeping and wailing was more then I can take. I lost some control there but I know the sight of me crying isn't going to help things. So I just hug my mum tight and told her firmly to stop her crying because Grandma is in paradise now and she won't be happy to see her this way.
Mum didn't cry much throughout the entire funeral, and I knew she is trying to be strong for the sake of everyone else. But I guess the sight of her mum being burned snapped her control, and hell, I think if I were in her place, I'll be wailing and crying my head off too. In my hurry to comfort and support my mum, I missed the sight of the casket being pushed in to burn.
But I knew thats alright. My grandma isn't in the casket. She's somewhere above, smiling down on all of us.
The rest of the funeral is nothing much to talk about. i recalled an altar being set up for grandma. I remembered looking at her picture, thinking that it is a poor replacement for her physical living self. But it is better then having nothing at all to remember her by.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.