(no subject)
When did i become such an asshole? I mean, i've always been mean...in a joking way, i take after my dad on that one...but i mean, i always hated the popular guy who was good looking, had everything you'd ever want, and was a complete jerk. I'm not saying im popular, im not good looking, and i don't have everything...yet im still an asshole...what motive do i have? its not like im better than everyone else...i have no reason to be a jerk...nothing to make up for it...nothing that people say 'he's a jerk, but...' nothing....i need out of this mood, right now...its happening again....anything i would feel bad about, it hurts a million times worse...theres something in the pit of my stomach that throbs when i do something wrong....could be something little, could be big...i just don't know...i give up, i want out....now