02; [fic] haha, fic. wait, what, fic?
LOOK THERE'S FIC. This is my first attempt at JE fanfiction so PLEASE DO NOT HATE TOO MUCH. And they're all like, drabbles/ficlets because it is impossible for me to write anything longer. Pairings vary. Also, they're all sort of funny (I hope).
Title: Where Jin-in-LA Is Overused As A Plot Device
Author: inevitabilityy
Rating: PG
Pairings, Characters: Pin friendship stupidity, slight Akame?, KAT-TUN
Word Count: 539
Disclaimer: Can't believe I forgot this before - all respective people belong to themselves but work for Johnny's Entertainment. Not mine. Obviously. Haha.
Summary: Pin is retarded, Kame gets mad and basketball players are tied up.
Kame blinks. Once, twice, again. Nope, didn't work, Yamapi was still there.
"What are you doing?" he hisses, and Yamapi giggles, feeling his hair flutter against his neck from Kame's angry whisper.
"Silly Kame-chan!" Grins happily. "Obviously, I am your special guest for today!" Beams.
"B-but," Kame splutters, eyes darting for Koki, Ueda, anyone, "we're not having you today. We have that. You know. That...basketball? Player today. You don't play basketball, Pi."
"But," Yamapi says and blinks at Kame, lower lip trembling precariously. "But! Kame-chan! He um, couldn't come!" Yamapi's eyes dart to the side and then back to Kame. "So er, Johnny made me come," he finishes quite lamely, voice rising to almost a question at the end.
Something about that statement doesn't ring quite true with Kame so he glares at Yamapi and says, "Johnny made you come? Really?"
"Er, well..." Yamapi mumbles something incoherent and Kame, already breathing slowly in, out, in, out, you cannot kill Yamapi, remember, murder is illegal, Kazuya, breathe, can feel his temper rise.
"Yamapi," Kame seethes. "If you don't tell me, I am going to text Ryo right now," here he takes out his cellphone for emphasis and waves it around intimidatingly, "and tell him who really ripped his picture of Uchi." He glares for good effect.
"Ah! No! Kame-chan! You wouldn't do that!" Seeing Kame's dangerous look, Yamapi quickly switches gears midway and says, "Ah! Okay, you would! Okay, I'll tell you! Er well actually Jinmademepromisetocheckonyousometimesbecauseheheardyouwereoverworking."
Kame blinks.
"What," he says, "What. Are you talking about, Pi?"
"JIN." Yamapi says loudly and mimes a plane with his hand, "MADE ME." Here he points at himself. "PROMISE." He holds up his pinky. "TO CHECK UP. ON YOU." He points at Kame. "SOME - "
"OKAY," Kame says, cutting into Yamapi's monologue that seemed like it would have gone on for a while unless Kame had stepped in, "I UNDERSTAND, PI. I'M NOT STUPID."
"OH," Pi says back, "THAT'S GOOD." He pauses. "WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?"
It takes both Koki and Junno to restrain Kame and then a very confused basketball player is found tied up in the janitor's closet and then it takes Koki, Junno, Ueda and Maru to restrain Kame from leaping at Yamapi and breaking something. Or many somethings. Kame wasn't too picky about what.
"Ne," Yamapi shouts at a flailing KT-TUN, "Don't forget to email Jin later! Or else he'll make me come again!"
And then Yamapi, being the bright young man that he was, ran. Very quickly. In the opposite direction.
---
Jin!
Konbachiwa~
Today, I saw Kame-chan
^^
He looked very healthy and lively
I don't think you need to worry about him.
How's school? Did you learn any new English, Bakanishi?
Well, have fun, okay! And Kame-chan should be emailing you soon. ^^
-Pi
---
Jin.
Stop sending Yamapi after me, he's annoying.
If you send him here one more time, I'll tell Ryo who really ripped his picture of Uchi.
-Kame.
---
Pi!
You're right! You're right! Kame-chan seems okay after all!
Thank you, Pi! Thank you!
-Jin.
IT SORT OF SUCKS, DON'T MIND ME.
Title: How KAT-TUN, Collectively and Uncollectively, Learn How To Drive
Author: inevitabilityy
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: KAT-TUN, a squick of Akame and maybe TaNaka? -shrugs-
Word Count: 820
Disclaimer: Not mine. They are their own separate people and this is not affiliated with them in any way.
Summary: KAT-TUN + drivers licenses? This can't be safe.
1.
When Maru and Koki walk into their Drivers Ed. class, the (few) girls in the class immediately start squealing over Koki while the boys simply look awed. It didn't help that there were some Juniors in the class, who start whispering furiously to their seatmates about how they were from the same company as Koki-senpai!! ...And Nakamaru-senpai, they add, as an afterthought.
The teacher looks apprehensive, though that may have been due to what Koki was wearing and how he was walking as he swaggers to a seat in the back of the room and promptly drops his head onto his arms, muttering angrily about what a waste of time it was.
Maru shoots a look of apology in the general direction of the teacher and hurries down the aisle to where Koki is sitting, ignoring the excited whispers of Ne, Nakamaru-san, can you get me Akanishi/Kamenashi/Ueda/Tanaka/Taguchi-san's number? and this was from some of the boys too. Maru, feeling slightly ill, drops into the seat right next to Koki and says, "There are Juniors in this class. Please try to make some kind of good impression on them?"
Koki gives him a long look, then goes back to mumbling angrily.
Maru sighs. Nothing ever changes.
2.
On the first day of Drivers Education, the teacher runs down his attendance list, checking them to their respective seats. When he reaches 'Ueda Tatsuya,' he glances up and notices an empty seat. With a disapproving shake of his head, he marks him absent but puts it out of his head as he turns to another joy-filled day of teaching children how to drive.
However, even the teacher can't help but notice when Ueda Tatsuya's not there for the second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth days.
When a week passes and Ueda Tatsuya still hasn't shown up, the teacher dials the provided phone number angrily, and composes an indignant essay in his head on The Importance of Responsibility and Punctuality and Being A Man. When someone picks up, he asks, "Ueda-san?" angrily but is cut off by a cool, efficient voice.
It takes two minutes of convincing and soon, the Drivers Education teacher is mentally ripping up his essay about Being A Man and throwing it from his mind.
A week later, the teacher is two million yen richer and Ueda Tatsuya has a driver's license.
3.
When Jin learns how to drive, he is seventeen and on his first day of class, he brings a sputtering fifteen-year old Kame with him.
"You can get first-hand experience!" are the words he uses to convince a disbelieving Kame.
Kame raises an eyebrow and says, "I am fifteen. You are seventeen."
Jin's eyes widen and his lower lip trembles. "Are you saying...you don't...want to spend time with me? Me? B-but..."
Kame sighs and rubs his temples irritatedly. "Fine," he finally says angrily. "Fine! I'll go with you to your stupid class."
Jin immediately brightens and throws his arms around Kame. "Yay!" he squeals and plants a sloppy kiss on Kame's cheek.
"Ew!" Kame shrieks. "You freak!"
When they arrive, Jin bounces ahead happily and drops into his seat while Kame slinks into the seat next to him and warns him, "Don't fall asleep!"
Within five minutes into the lesson, Jin is asleep.
Kame pokes his shoudler irritatedly but when Jin shows no signs of waking back to the conscious world, Kame sighs and resumes taking notes, resigned to his fate
However, two months later, the drivers ed. teacher hands a license to a smug Kame and sighs and pats a desolate Jin on the shoulder and advises him to try again next year.
"B-but!" Jin wails. "He's not even legal!"
"Right," the instructor coughs. "But he has the best scores in the class. We can just find a way around that age thing."
Despite Jin's extremely persuasive logic about why Kame should not get a drivers' license, a week later, Kame still has one and Jin does not.
"First-hand experience, right Jin?" Kame says, and smirks.
"You are fifteen," Jin whines.
4.
Junno aces his driver's exam the first time around. Even the parallel parking and the K-turns.
"B-but," Kame splutters. "How?"
Jin is too busy thinking of ways to replace Junno's picture with his.
Koki takes out his anger on Junno by kicking him.
"Ow!" Junno whines.
"Shut up," Koki growls, "you're too happy."
Ueda is too busy reading a book to care, and besides, he already has his.
Maru is the only one to congratulate Junno but even he asks, "How?"
Junno smiles happily and holds up his DS. "Grand Theft Auto," he replies simply and the rest of KAT-TUN look on in awe and wonder with new respect for the slim game station.
(Junno’s license is revoked a week later for accidentally running down various Juniors as he attempts to do car tricks.)
MY INFORMATION IS OBVIOUSLY SO WRONG ABOUT DRIVERS TESTS IN JAPAN AND LEGAL DRIVING AGE AND ER YEAH.
Title: Where Jin-in-LA Is Overused As A Plot Device
Author: inevitabilityy
Rating: PG
Pairings, Characters: Pin friendship stupidity, slight Akame?, KAT-TUN
Word Count: 539
Disclaimer: Can't believe I forgot this before - all respective people belong to themselves but work for Johnny's Entertainment. Not mine. Obviously. Haha.
Summary: Pin is retarded, Kame gets mad and basketball players are tied up.
Kame blinks. Once, twice, again. Nope, didn't work, Yamapi was still there.
"What are you doing?" he hisses, and Yamapi giggles, feeling his hair flutter against his neck from Kame's angry whisper.
"Silly Kame-chan!" Grins happily. "Obviously, I am your special guest for today!" Beams.
"B-but," Kame splutters, eyes darting for Koki, Ueda, anyone, "we're not having you today. We have that. You know. That...basketball? Player today. You don't play basketball, Pi."
"But," Yamapi says and blinks at Kame, lower lip trembling precariously. "But! Kame-chan! He um, couldn't come!" Yamapi's eyes dart to the side and then back to Kame. "So er, Johnny made me come," he finishes quite lamely, voice rising to almost a question at the end.
Something about that statement doesn't ring quite true with Kame so he glares at Yamapi and says, "Johnny made you come? Really?"
"Er, well..." Yamapi mumbles something incoherent and Kame, already breathing slowly in, out, in, out, you cannot kill Yamapi, remember, murder is illegal, Kazuya, breathe, can feel his temper rise.
"Yamapi," Kame seethes. "If you don't tell me, I am going to text Ryo right now," here he takes out his cellphone for emphasis and waves it around intimidatingly, "and tell him who really ripped his picture of Uchi." He glares for good effect.
"Ah! No! Kame-chan! You wouldn't do that!" Seeing Kame's dangerous look, Yamapi quickly switches gears midway and says, "Ah! Okay, you would! Okay, I'll tell you! Er well actually Jinmademepromisetocheckonyousometimesbecauseheheardyouwereoverworking."
Kame blinks.
"What," he says, "What. Are you talking about, Pi?"
"JIN." Yamapi says loudly and mimes a plane with his hand, "MADE ME." Here he points at himself. "PROMISE." He holds up his pinky. "TO CHECK UP. ON YOU." He points at Kame. "SOME - "
"OKAY," Kame says, cutting into Yamapi's monologue that seemed like it would have gone on for a while unless Kame had stepped in, "I UNDERSTAND, PI. I'M NOT STUPID."
"OH," Pi says back, "THAT'S GOOD." He pauses. "WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?"
It takes both Koki and Junno to restrain Kame and then a very confused basketball player is found tied up in the janitor's closet and then it takes Koki, Junno, Ueda and Maru to restrain Kame from leaping at Yamapi and breaking something. Or many somethings. Kame wasn't too picky about what.
"Ne," Yamapi shouts at a flailing KT-TUN, "Don't forget to email Jin later! Or else he'll make me come again!"
And then Yamapi, being the bright young man that he was, ran. Very quickly. In the opposite direction.
---
Jin!
Konbachiwa~
Today, I saw Kame-chan
^^
He looked very healthy and lively
I don't think you need to worry about him.
How's school? Did you learn any new English, Bakanishi?
Well, have fun, okay! And Kame-chan should be emailing you soon. ^^
-Pi
---
Jin.
Stop sending Yamapi after me, he's annoying.
If you send him here one more time, I'll tell Ryo who really ripped his picture of Uchi.
-Kame.
---
Pi!
You're right! You're right! Kame-chan seems okay after all!
Thank you, Pi! Thank you!
-Jin.
IT SORT OF SUCKS, DON'T MIND ME.
Title: How KAT-TUN, Collectively and Uncollectively, Learn How To Drive
Author: inevitabilityy
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: KAT-TUN, a squick of Akame and maybe TaNaka? -shrugs-
Word Count: 820
Disclaimer: Not mine. They are their own separate people and this is not affiliated with them in any way.
Summary: KAT-TUN + drivers licenses? This can't be safe.
1.
When Maru and Koki walk into their Drivers Ed. class, the (few) girls in the class immediately start squealing over Koki while the boys simply look awed. It didn't help that there were some Juniors in the class, who start whispering furiously to their seatmates about how they were from the same company as Koki-senpai!! ...And Nakamaru-senpai, they add, as an afterthought.
The teacher looks apprehensive, though that may have been due to what Koki was wearing and how he was walking as he swaggers to a seat in the back of the room and promptly drops his head onto his arms, muttering angrily about what a waste of time it was.
Maru shoots a look of apology in the general direction of the teacher and hurries down the aisle to where Koki is sitting, ignoring the excited whispers of Ne, Nakamaru-san, can you get me Akanishi/Kamenashi/Ueda/Tanaka/Taguchi-san's number? and this was from some of the boys too. Maru, feeling slightly ill, drops into the seat right next to Koki and says, "There are Juniors in this class. Please try to make some kind of good impression on them?"
Koki gives him a long look, then goes back to mumbling angrily.
Maru sighs. Nothing ever changes.
2.
On the first day of Drivers Education, the teacher runs down his attendance list, checking them to their respective seats. When he reaches 'Ueda Tatsuya,' he glances up and notices an empty seat. With a disapproving shake of his head, he marks him absent but puts it out of his head as he turns to another joy-filled day of teaching children how to drive.
However, even the teacher can't help but notice when Ueda Tatsuya's not there for the second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth days.
When a week passes and Ueda Tatsuya still hasn't shown up, the teacher dials the provided phone number angrily, and composes an indignant essay in his head on The Importance of Responsibility and Punctuality and Being A Man. When someone picks up, he asks, "Ueda-san?" angrily but is cut off by a cool, efficient voice.
It takes two minutes of convincing and soon, the Drivers Education teacher is mentally ripping up his essay about Being A Man and throwing it from his mind.
A week later, the teacher is two million yen richer and Ueda Tatsuya has a driver's license.
3.
When Jin learns how to drive, he is seventeen and on his first day of class, he brings a sputtering fifteen-year old Kame with him.
"You can get first-hand experience!" are the words he uses to convince a disbelieving Kame.
Kame raises an eyebrow and says, "I am fifteen. You are seventeen."
Jin's eyes widen and his lower lip trembles. "Are you saying...you don't...want to spend time with me? Me? B-but..."
Kame sighs and rubs his temples irritatedly. "Fine," he finally says angrily. "Fine! I'll go with you to your stupid class."
Jin immediately brightens and throws his arms around Kame. "Yay!" he squeals and plants a sloppy kiss on Kame's cheek.
"Ew!" Kame shrieks. "You freak!"
When they arrive, Jin bounces ahead happily and drops into his seat while Kame slinks into the seat next to him and warns him, "Don't fall asleep!"
Within five minutes into the lesson, Jin is asleep.
Kame pokes his shoudler irritatedly but when Jin shows no signs of waking back to the conscious world, Kame sighs and resumes taking notes, resigned to his fate
However, two months later, the drivers ed. teacher hands a license to a smug Kame and sighs and pats a desolate Jin on the shoulder and advises him to try again next year.
"B-but!" Jin wails. "He's not even legal!"
"Right," the instructor coughs. "But he has the best scores in the class. We can just find a way around that age thing."
Despite Jin's extremely persuasive logic about why Kame should not get a drivers' license, a week later, Kame still has one and Jin does not.
"First-hand experience, right Jin?" Kame says, and smirks.
"You are fifteen," Jin whines.
4.
Junno aces his driver's exam the first time around. Even the parallel parking and the K-turns.
"B-but," Kame splutters. "How?"
Jin is too busy thinking of ways to replace Junno's picture with his.
Koki takes out his anger on Junno by kicking him.
"Ow!" Junno whines.
"Shut up," Koki growls, "you're too happy."
Ueda is too busy reading a book to care, and besides, he already has his.
Maru is the only one to congratulate Junno but even he asks, "How?"
Junno smiles happily and holds up his DS. "Grand Theft Auto," he replies simply and the rest of KAT-TUN look on in awe and wonder with new respect for the slim game station.
(Junno’s license is revoked a week later for accidentally running down various Juniors as he attempts to do car tricks.)
MY INFORMATION IS OBVIOUSLY SO WRONG ABOUT DRIVERS TESTS IN JAPAN AND LEGAL DRIVING AGE AND ER YEAH.