Its still only the beginning...
Its a Wednesday and I sit in a Starbucks on my sick day. In less then an hour I will be sitting in a Japanese restaurant a block away from here soothing my throat over a bowl of miso soup and a half muted conversation with Lauren and Cat.
Thankfully this 24 hour bug fell on a day I have off, as I don't work at a job where you can easily call in sick. And not getting better fast can lead to even more troubles at a job where you are standing all day. If you can sense a tinge of distaste for my current job, you could be sensing correctly. I mean I have disliked this job for a long time, mostly because it takes so much confidence out of me as people treat you so poorly- that and its really not that rewarding.
But none of that is new- what is new is having this slow wave of realization wash over me. This "what are you doing with your life!!!" kinda feeling... Its been brought on by seeing so many friends lately quit their jobs, or trying to improve their lives. Lets go down the list briefly-
Jeannie- quit her job at Bayer and is trying to get back on track with what she wants career wise.
Sean- (the guy I dated last winter/springish) moved to London for acting and just got cast as a lead in a real movie.
Mark- Quit his job, moved to RI and started his own company with a highschool friend, Jason
Laura- quit the gallery she was director for to start her own thing.
Sara- got fed up with her PR job and found a better one.
Damian + Cat- are starting grad school.
I could go on with this list, but the point is I am realizing that my problem for so long since coming back from Thailand was that I stopped believing I could improve my life anymore. I fell into a pretty bad rut. But lately- partly due to an improving economy- I have noticed more and more of my friends are changing their lives for the better. Making the scary changes, that they need. Its a slap in the face to the trance I placed myself in. And slowing I am realizing, dreaming about something better. Which in itself is a big change. But its still only the beginning. The more I realize, the more I can feel just knowing is no longer good enough. Living the life of the potential for a better one is no longer enough.
Baby steps till cosmic changes. Anyway, its time for that Miso soup...
Thankfully this 24 hour bug fell on a day I have off, as I don't work at a job where you can easily call in sick. And not getting better fast can lead to even more troubles at a job where you are standing all day. If you can sense a tinge of distaste for my current job, you could be sensing correctly. I mean I have disliked this job for a long time, mostly because it takes so much confidence out of me as people treat you so poorly- that and its really not that rewarding.
But none of that is new- what is new is having this slow wave of realization wash over me. This "what are you doing with your life!!!" kinda feeling... Its been brought on by seeing so many friends lately quit their jobs, or trying to improve their lives. Lets go down the list briefly-
Jeannie- quit her job at Bayer and is trying to get back on track with what she wants career wise.
Sean- (the guy I dated last winter/springish) moved to London for acting and just got cast as a lead in a real movie.
Mark- Quit his job, moved to RI and started his own company with a highschool friend, Jason
Laura- quit the gallery she was director for to start her own thing.
Sara- got fed up with her PR job and found a better one.
Damian + Cat- are starting grad school.
I could go on with this list, but the point is I am realizing that my problem for so long since coming back from Thailand was that I stopped believing I could improve my life anymore. I fell into a pretty bad rut. But lately- partly due to an improving economy- I have noticed more and more of my friends are changing their lives for the better. Making the scary changes, that they need. Its a slap in the face to the trance I placed myself in. And slowing I am realizing, dreaming about something better. Which in itself is a big change. But its still only the beginning. The more I realize, the more I can feel just knowing is no longer good enough. Living the life of the potential for a better one is no longer enough.
Baby steps till cosmic changes. Anyway, its time for that Miso soup...