woo first entry!
I love Jessica sooooo much, I wanted that to be the first thing in my journal...so yeah, last thursday was our three month. She makes me soo happy. Today I was awoken by her, and that made me happy. Its wierd, I really do not like waking up on weekends, esp. if I have not slept enough. But since she called me, and woke me up, and the first thing she said was good mourning, I was happy. After that I was mainly trying to convince or find out if I could go see her while Patriq was in his ROTC final, all while Patriq and I were on our way of getting hair cuts. Ha, I like mine, it is how it used to be, and I do not really mind it, but I tihnk Patriq is going to have to work with his, cuz it is a hell of alot shorter than it used to be. At first it seemed bad, I mean the chance of going to see my love, and she felt it too, and I knew she did when I talked to her. I could tell in her voice, she was upset, and sad, and I felt bad. I always feel bad when she is not happy for any reason, I told her this before, but I wish I could just put my arms around her and protect her from anything, that would make her unhappy, so she will never be unhappy. It turned out the only reason I would not have gone, is cuz my dad does not want to pick me up, so I called to see if maybe I could get dropped off at my house, and I could, so I cheered up cuz I was going to see Jessica. There was a little unhappiness when I had gotten there, but the rest of the day was awesome. Now that I think back on it, I am starting to miss it, but its all good, cuz I know another good day will come. Jessica had told me that she doubts that we will see each other the rest of this weekend, but I still think that is still up in the air, nothing is for sure. But I know that we will have our time again, so I am not going to worry about it. Cuz as long as I get to talk to her on the phone or online, and see her at school, I will be happy. I am kinda like in state of never ending happiness with her, its so wierd how she has changed me. And it was a change in a good way. I can remember back when I stoic to eveything, leaning towards pessimism, I was depressing in the hole more and more, the only thing I thought about was how life has no meaning, and a bunch of other stuff, that I would really would not like to say, but that all changed when I met Jessica. I started to love again, and be loved again, and it felt soo great, and I became happy again. Now I think different, act different, and things that used to bother me, I no longer care about, I put Jessica and my love for her in front of those things, and it all is better. Its hard to explain, its...ineffable, but simply she is that best thing to ever happen to me, and I will love her forever and always, no matter what. And now I must get back to her before she falls in to a too deep of a sleep, hopefully the AIM noises will wake her......l..a..t..e..r.....