A Realization of Saddening Proportions
..An education in the aspects of astronomy assists an individual in learning just how insignificant we are in this universe. Just how small we are, and how an item of inorganic proportions could simply tear apart our organic mold, our organic home by seemingly spontaneous invasion.
Yet, as humans, through countless religions and generations, we became the only subject of importance. Alas--once we were the center of the universe, and any other thought made you a heretic. Since we are the only species that can 'reason' (poorly), we are above our fellow mortals--both animal and plant. A destruction of our own kind even results through ambition of powers, through greed of materialism.
But sometimes I just don't care. About humanity. Our destiny. Our destruction. Throughout life, I've been my own worst enemy, and I still can't even swallow my own problems, my own insecurities as a confused individuals. Torn between the lonliness, my anti-social antics, and a craving for a female companion.. Yet, I'm so saturated with the shit I've held in, that such a relationship isn't even possible.
Throughout life, we wear masks to protect what vital ideals we contain within our mine; a barrier in defense of all that is corrupted. The face of silence and shyness I've always worn, but no one fuckin knows how pained and depressed I am..
My life resembles the main character's in American Beauty.. But before you draw any conclusions, or close the browser in disgust.. Read on.
My life has been reduced to the fact that simple masterbation is the only high-point of it. Through school, I'm never truly happy, satisfied.. and I look forward to it after school. It's a temporary relaxation; a solace to the stress of the day.. And its an addiction. Deep inside, I know that the people that surround me everyday think I'm pathetic, worthless.. I can't even handle this anymore, and I make my eventual transition into college as the same, fucked-up individual I was even at the beginning of my teenage years.
..In the words of Poison the Well.. "End me." ..Screamed over and over.. I can't take this anymore!
Yet, as humans, through countless religions and generations, we became the only subject of importance. Alas--once we were the center of the universe, and any other thought made you a heretic. Since we are the only species that can 'reason' (poorly), we are above our fellow mortals--both animal and plant. A destruction of our own kind even results through ambition of powers, through greed of materialism.
But sometimes I just don't care. About humanity. Our destiny. Our destruction. Throughout life, I've been my own worst enemy, and I still can't even swallow my own problems, my own insecurities as a confused individuals. Torn between the lonliness, my anti-social antics, and a craving for a female companion.. Yet, I'm so saturated with the shit I've held in, that such a relationship isn't even possible.
Throughout life, we wear masks to protect what vital ideals we contain within our mine; a barrier in defense of all that is corrupted. The face of silence and shyness I've always worn, but no one fuckin knows how pained and depressed I am..
My life resembles the main character's in American Beauty.. But before you draw any conclusions, or close the browser in disgust.. Read on.
My life has been reduced to the fact that simple masterbation is the only high-point of it. Through school, I'm never truly happy, satisfied.. and I look forward to it after school. It's a temporary relaxation; a solace to the stress of the day.. And its an addiction. Deep inside, I know that the people that surround me everyday think I'm pathetic, worthless.. I can't even handle this anymore, and I make my eventual transition into college as the same, fucked-up individual I was even at the beginning of my teenage years.
..In the words of Poison the Well.. "End me." ..Screamed over and over.. I can't take this anymore!