(no subject)
I was going to update sooner, but I've been in what my mother calls 'immovable depression'. Basically I laid in bed all day, either sleeping or staring at my computer screen, reading and not really doing anything.
Shortly after we brought Milo home, he reblocked and either had a stroke or his heart stopped. I had to pick him up and move him once to make sure he was still alive, and it scared the shite out of me, and then the following morning, he went completely limp on me. I was holding him in my arms and his eyes rolled back into his head and he stopped responding.
We rushed him to the vet, where they said it was likely he had brain damage. They put a catheter back in him, but he didn't do well on the anesthetic. The vet was afraid he was massively brain damaged, and they had us come in to visit him and discuss options. When I saw him and said his name, he perked up. He didn't move, just started meowing, which the vet said he hadn't done since he'd gotten there. By the time we left, he was responding to most stimulus, however his eyes wouldn't dilate properly.
Second time we went to visit him, he seemed to show symptoms of being blocked, but he was definitely more perky. He came over to me and snuggled, meowing obnoxiously the whole time, and tried climbing out of his cage. A good sign, except near the end of the visit he was obviously trying to go to the bathroom (which the vet tech said was weird, because with a catheter, it just sort of flows out, there shouldn't have been any urge to go to the bathroom.) After that he spaced out again, like he had a lapse in brain activity or whatever.
Got a phone call this morning saying his catheter was sticking and they had to replace it, which wasn't a good sign. They were worried about putting him under anesthetic again since the first time he did so poorly, but they didn't have much of a choice. He came out of it much better than the first time, and they found that as soon as they removed the catheter, he had good flow and they thought he could go without the catheter in.
Tonight the vet took him home with her to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't reblock. I'm not getting my hopes up of bringing him home tomorrow (or possibly even monday.) It's been so up and down, I don't know what to think. If he does reblock, he has to go in for surgery. I told my mom I feel like I'm putting him through too much, but she keeps telling me not to give up on him. I don't know that I've given up on him, maybe just given up on me. I'm tired of hurting. Of worrying.
I go back to work on Monday, but I find it really hard because I just find that after this week I have so little in me. I'm sure everyone had a relaxing week off, enjoying the cold weather (or not, I don't know), but I feel like I need a week off from THIS week off. But of course, I can't afford it. I've maxed out everything again. I couldn't even afford to take this week off, but I didn't get a choice. I have a feeling I'm going to be an awful wreck next week.
Oh, and the adjuster still hasn't called me about my car, which is beyond irritating. Just tell me if it's a write off or not. At least let me know if they're fixing it (it's already at the shop, so it's possible they're fixing it already, but nobody has told me anything.) Then there's THAT $500 deductible and I have no idea where I'm going to get that money. Plus I have an outstanding $200 bill to the dealership, my phone bill ($90), my car payment coming up ($325)... I just don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do.
Sometimes I secretly hope 2012 is the end of the world because I don't know how much of this shit I'm supposed to take.
Shortly after we brought Milo home, he reblocked and either had a stroke or his heart stopped. I had to pick him up and move him once to make sure he was still alive, and it scared the shite out of me, and then the following morning, he went completely limp on me. I was holding him in my arms and his eyes rolled back into his head and he stopped responding.
We rushed him to the vet, where they said it was likely he had brain damage. They put a catheter back in him, but he didn't do well on the anesthetic. The vet was afraid he was massively brain damaged, and they had us come in to visit him and discuss options. When I saw him and said his name, he perked up. He didn't move, just started meowing, which the vet said he hadn't done since he'd gotten there. By the time we left, he was responding to most stimulus, however his eyes wouldn't dilate properly.
Second time we went to visit him, he seemed to show symptoms of being blocked, but he was definitely more perky. He came over to me and snuggled, meowing obnoxiously the whole time, and tried climbing out of his cage. A good sign, except near the end of the visit he was obviously trying to go to the bathroom (which the vet tech said was weird, because with a catheter, it just sort of flows out, there shouldn't have been any urge to go to the bathroom.) After that he spaced out again, like he had a lapse in brain activity or whatever.
Got a phone call this morning saying his catheter was sticking and they had to replace it, which wasn't a good sign. They were worried about putting him under anesthetic again since the first time he did so poorly, but they didn't have much of a choice. He came out of it much better than the first time, and they found that as soon as they removed the catheter, he had good flow and they thought he could go without the catheter in.
Tonight the vet took him home with her to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't reblock. I'm not getting my hopes up of bringing him home tomorrow (or possibly even monday.) It's been so up and down, I don't know what to think. If he does reblock, he has to go in for surgery. I told my mom I feel like I'm putting him through too much, but she keeps telling me not to give up on him. I don't know that I've given up on him, maybe just given up on me. I'm tired of hurting. Of worrying.
I go back to work on Monday, but I find it really hard because I just find that after this week I have so little in me. I'm sure everyone had a relaxing week off, enjoying the cold weather (or not, I don't know), but I feel like I need a week off from THIS week off. But of course, I can't afford it. I've maxed out everything again. I couldn't even afford to take this week off, but I didn't get a choice. I have a feeling I'm going to be an awful wreck next week.
Oh, and the adjuster still hasn't called me about my car, which is beyond irritating. Just tell me if it's a write off or not. At least let me know if they're fixing it (it's already at the shop, so it's possible they're fixing it already, but nobody has told me anything.) Then there's THAT $500 deductible and I have no idea where I'm going to get that money. Plus I have an outstanding $200 bill to the dealership, my phone bill ($90), my car payment coming up ($325)... I just don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do.
Sometimes I secretly hope 2012 is the end of the world because I don't know how much of this shit I'm supposed to take.