(no subject)
So I had another nightmare. I haven't had one in a while, and to be honest, the dream didn't seem that scary while I was having it. Or something. I'm not really even sure anymore.
Basically in the dream, I'd literally and completely gone crazy. My dad and sister were there and they kept trying to help me out, but all I remember is screaming and screaming until I passed out and then screamed some more. I remember them trying to give me medication but I wouldn't take it like they told me to, I'd either throw it or take it all at once. It was like having a nightmare within a nightmare or something.
My sister started crying because I just wouldn't stop and all she wanted to do was help me and I think my Dad was just getting frustrated. But it was strange, I would get so, so angry that I'd start throwing stuff and yelling; then I'd break down sobbing and just wailing.
It was awful. I woke up with this horrified thought that, "Oh my god, I'm losing it."
Especially since when I woke up, I swore I heard, "Jami, over here. Jami, please look at me." I heard it and I couldn't move. I was basically just paralyzed with fear. Because it was over and over again and I thought FOR SURE there was someone in my room, but eventually the words just blended into the music that was playing over and over (Believe it or not, it was the Despicable Me extras screen.) But I just felt so off and so horrible that I had to throw up the covers so that I couldn't see anything until after I'd sat up.
Turned on the lights and basically fled my room. I sat down at my mom's computer to type this out, but I kept hearing noises (Not entirely sure what, cats possibly. Maybe old house sounds. IDK.) and I just could NOT sit with my back to the room. Even with all the lights on and being fully awake, I was afraid to turn around.
So now I'm sitting on my bed with my laptop, back against the wall and slowly regaining my sanity.
In all seriousness, I think I have some sort of sleep disorder where I come out of sleep too quickly and therefore it's like I dream while I'm awake, because this isn't the first time weird shit like this has happened. There was the drowning, the hippie ghost, the OTHER ghost woman, and more times than I can count I've lied in bed sort of half in-half out of dreamland, aware that I'm in my room and in bed, but still dreaming.
Now I'm just trying to figure out how to go back to sleep. I think I'm going to spend some of my money for Ophelia's surgery and buy my damn sleeping pills. Ugh, but the idea of not having enough money for Ophelia just gives me another stress freakout. I need a motherfuckin' miracle.
If the slightest thing jumped out at me right now, I'd probably have a heart attack.
ETA: Also, there is motherfuckin' mice in the wall behind my head. I suppose it was just a matter of time before they moved from one wall to the next. I don't know if it's several mice or one mouse, but I can hear it scratching and it is so not helping.
Basically in the dream, I'd literally and completely gone crazy. My dad and sister were there and they kept trying to help me out, but all I remember is screaming and screaming until I passed out and then screamed some more. I remember them trying to give me medication but I wouldn't take it like they told me to, I'd either throw it or take it all at once. It was like having a nightmare within a nightmare or something.
My sister started crying because I just wouldn't stop and all she wanted to do was help me and I think my Dad was just getting frustrated. But it was strange, I would get so, so angry that I'd start throwing stuff and yelling; then I'd break down sobbing and just wailing.
It was awful. I woke up with this horrified thought that, "Oh my god, I'm losing it."
Especially since when I woke up, I swore I heard, "Jami, over here. Jami, please look at me." I heard it and I couldn't move. I was basically just paralyzed with fear. Because it was over and over again and I thought FOR SURE there was someone in my room, but eventually the words just blended into the music that was playing over and over (Believe it or not, it was the Despicable Me extras screen.) But I just felt so off and so horrible that I had to throw up the covers so that I couldn't see anything until after I'd sat up.
Turned on the lights and basically fled my room. I sat down at my mom's computer to type this out, but I kept hearing noises (Not entirely sure what, cats possibly. Maybe old house sounds. IDK.) and I just could NOT sit with my back to the room. Even with all the lights on and being fully awake, I was afraid to turn around.
So now I'm sitting on my bed with my laptop, back against the wall and slowly regaining my sanity.
In all seriousness, I think I have some sort of sleep disorder where I come out of sleep too quickly and therefore it's like I dream while I'm awake, because this isn't the first time weird shit like this has happened. There was the drowning, the hippie ghost, the OTHER ghost woman, and more times than I can count I've lied in bed sort of half in-half out of dreamland, aware that I'm in my room and in bed, but still dreaming.
Now I'm just trying to figure out how to go back to sleep. I think I'm going to spend some of my money for Ophelia's surgery and buy my damn sleeping pills. Ugh, but the idea of not having enough money for Ophelia just gives me another stress freakout. I need a motherfuckin' miracle.
If the slightest thing jumped out at me right now, I'd probably have a heart attack.
ETA: Also, there is motherfuckin' mice in the wall behind my head. I suppose it was just a matter of time before they moved from one wall to the next. I don't know if it's several mice or one mouse, but I can hear it scratching and it is so not helping.