Cha-cha-Changes!
Where have I been? Working, mostly. :)
I've got many many thoughts swimming around in my head right now, but foremost is that my 30s are starting off with another major change.
Living with my mother was the WORST. IDEA. EVER.
I knew this going in, but I had hopes that- seeing as we're all adults- it would be different this time. Needless to say, it is not. What I have learned is that my mother is actually a child. When I was 15, it just meant we both acted like teenagers and screamed a lot. Now that I'm grown, I find myself trying to have reasonable, calm conversations with her and she still storms off, screams like a banshee and slams doors. She is never, EVER wrong. Honestly, I have a hard time believing deep down that I'm not the problem, because I'm so conditioned to think that I am. Thankfully, she makes Carrie angry as well, and that's nearly impossible to do. I just have to keep checking myself against other people, to see if I'm misinterpreting. I'm know she's doing the same with her friends, but I also know she's gifted at making herself into a victim. ::shrug:: I really don't know anymore.
All that being said, 9 months is enough. I'm miserable, Carrie is miserable. This isn't healthy for us. So- we're switching it up, and moving to New Hampshire. My dad has a gigantic house there, and he's away for work for weeks at a time. I have no idea how this will go, but I have to believe that it will be better. As long as my dad and I don't discuss politics, we get on just fine. We wanted to move to NH anyway, so this is a good start. Plus- he's got an in-ground pool. C'mon summer!
In other news, Carrie bought me a groupon for my birthday! Two private riding lessons at a farm a town or so away from my dad. This makes me so happy I could cry. :)
I've got many many thoughts swimming around in my head right now, but foremost is that my 30s are starting off with another major change.
Living with my mother was the WORST. IDEA. EVER.
I knew this going in, but I had hopes that- seeing as we're all adults- it would be different this time. Needless to say, it is not. What I have learned is that my mother is actually a child. When I was 15, it just meant we both acted like teenagers and screamed a lot. Now that I'm grown, I find myself trying to have reasonable, calm conversations with her and she still storms off, screams like a banshee and slams doors. She is never, EVER wrong. Honestly, I have a hard time believing deep down that I'm not the problem, because I'm so conditioned to think that I am. Thankfully, she makes Carrie angry as well, and that's nearly impossible to do. I just have to keep checking myself against other people, to see if I'm misinterpreting. I'm know she's doing the same with her friends, but I also know she's gifted at making herself into a victim. ::shrug:: I really don't know anymore.
All that being said, 9 months is enough. I'm miserable, Carrie is miserable. This isn't healthy for us. So- we're switching it up, and moving to New Hampshire. My dad has a gigantic house there, and he's away for work for weeks at a time. I have no idea how this will go, but I have to believe that it will be better. As long as my dad and I don't discuss politics, we get on just fine. We wanted to move to NH anyway, so this is a good start. Plus- he's got an in-ground pool. C'mon summer!
In other news, Carrie bought me a groupon for my birthday! Two private riding lessons at a farm a town or so away from my dad. This makes me so happy I could cry. :)