"Love is sometimes like a gamble"
I could say that my mood has been quite more elevated and stabilized than it has been for a while; perhaps resolving a certain road-trip issue plus certain assurances calmed my nerves.
Which makes my last entries surprising and a bit non-sensical in retrospect.
But nevertheless, not all is "perfect."
I want to confess something.
Ever since after my non-relationship with Melissa, I actually have been quite weary of falling in love with anyone because I find unrequited love to be a bothering pain.
Yet, I remember the time when I wasn't interested in anyone back in August and life just seemed so unmotivating, dull, filled with an over-arching ennui. Despite that, it was at least "calm."
I don't know why, perhaps I'm not addressing well what gives significant authentic meaning to my life.
Now however, I guess I deal with things better and still feel calm even if perhaps it all is just some romantic fantasy in my head that will never be realized; as long as I don't think about it much that way.
Which makes my last entries surprising and a bit non-sensical in retrospect.
But nevertheless, not all is "perfect."
I want to confess something.
Ever since after my non-relationship with Melissa, I actually have been quite weary of falling in love with anyone because I find unrequited love to be a bothering pain.
Yet, I remember the time when I wasn't interested in anyone back in August and life just seemed so unmotivating, dull, filled with an over-arching ennui. Despite that, it was at least "calm."
I don't know why, perhaps I'm not addressing well what gives significant authentic meaning to my life.
Now however, I guess I deal with things better and still feel calm even if perhaps it all is just some romantic fantasy in my head that will never be realized; as long as I don't think about it much that way.