Mellow
I have a love/hate relationship with this winter holiday stuff. I surely like the relaxing change of place yet I cannot shake off the feeling of melancholy and despair that is probably a usual occurance for me in these kinds of breaks.
2009 seem to be, for me, a year of dissapointments. I can't really say I accomplished much this year, that is semi-permenent or worthwhile, except that I've changed much.
My last semester of FGCU seemed categorized with a feeling of isolation and distant-ness.
I felt paradoxically lonely much of the time and was totally bored for too many days of that semester.
The problem I have is the despair...I feel that I have once again fallen into a rut as always been before. I use to tell myself that "Once I go to a new school, or once I moved to the states, or once I get into college" things will get "better" in somewhat vague and abstract way (or perhaps I'm just in denial and the issue is actually very concrete and pricise) and yet this never is the case. I feel hopeless.
2009 seem to be, for me, a year of dissapointments. I can't really say I accomplished much this year, that is semi-permenent or worthwhile, except that I've changed much.
My last semester of FGCU seemed categorized with a feeling of isolation and distant-ness.
I felt paradoxically lonely much of the time and was totally bored for too many days of that semester.
The problem I have is the despair...I feel that I have once again fallen into a rut as always been before. I use to tell myself that "Once I go to a new school, or once I moved to the states, or once I get into college" things will get "better" in somewhat vague and abstract way (or perhaps I'm just in denial and the issue is actually very concrete and pricise) and yet this never is the case. I feel hopeless.