Economy (Jokes) - perfect for the State of the Union Tonight
The economy is so bad that . . . (with a nod to Henny Youngman)
I got a Pre-declined Credit Card in the mail; I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"; CEO's are now playing Miniature Golf; If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds", you call them and ask if they meant you or them; Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM; McDonald's is selling the "1/4 Ouncer"; Parents in Beverly Hills fired their Nannies and learned their children's names; A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico; Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting; Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore; The Mafia is laying off Judges; Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally . . . .
I was so depressed last night thinking about the Economy, the (lack of) Health-care, too many Wars, the (Lack of) Jobs, my (depleted) Life-savings, Social Security, Retirement Funds, etc., that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was got a Call Center in Pakistan.
When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck!!
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally . . . .
I was so depressed last night thinking about the Economy, the (lack of) Health-care, too many Wars, the (Lack of) Jobs, my (depleted) Life-savings, Social Security, Retirement Funds, etc., that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was got a Call Center in Pakistan.
When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck!!