Many Sues come to the A-Team for help. The next thing some do is prove that they don't need it.
A/N:
Protectors of the Plot Continuum was founded by Jay and Acacia.
Excerpts in italics were taken form
Dragon's
Eye by Koujo-Wheeler. This mission was chronicled by IndeMaat.
-oOo-
It
had been quiet for a few days at Headquarters. Well, it had been
quiet in Tasmin and Allison's office. Across the hall many loud beeps
and shrieks could have been heard, and the occasional loud bang. In
the quiet time Tasmin had cleaned her gun three times and repacked
her duffel bag four; she had been on six ten mile runs and had
repressed the urge to kill Allison eleven times. Allison had been
glued to the TV and DVD player watching A-Team episodes in marathon.
Though Tasmin had made her do this she regretted that by lunch on the
third day when Allison had started talking like Mac Murdock and would
not relent. Tasmin had gone on another run.
When
she returned she had taken the DVDs away from Allison and given her
her deck of cards. Allison was now playing her circle game again.
BEEEEEEP
"Work!"
Both agents jumped up enthusiastically. Neither of them liked going
in a Sue fic much, but anything, except really bad slash Allison
thought, was better than being cooped up together for this long.
Allison
gathered up her cards and put them back in their box while Tasmin
checked out the fic, decided on a disguise and opened up a portal.
"Grab your stuff." She shouldered her duffel bag and walked
through the portal. Allison grabbed her notepad, a pen and her
Character Analysis Device and followed Tasmin.
"Nurses'
uniforms? Where are we?"
"The
VA. Is that all you are carrying?"
"Yeah,
and it's a good thing too. I can't stuff anything more in these
pockets." The notepad had been no problem, but the CAD left a
nasty bulge in an awkward place. Allison looked at her name tag.
"Ratched? You named me nurse Ratched!"
"I
didn't know your last name."
"You
could have asked."
"Okay.
What is your last name?"
"I'm
not telling you anymore."
A
girl in jeans, a leather jacket and a T-shirt with a funny line
walked past them.
"And
I thought your sense of fashion needed tweaking," Allison
remarked. She was professional enough to immediately pay attention to
her job when it presented itself. She was not professional enough to
not sneer at Tasmin.
"She
kind of reminds you of someone, doesn't she?"
"The
kid looked familiar," Allison went back into Mac Murdock mode.
"We had seen her before. Or someone who dressed like her. As I
made a note of her appearance we followed her at an appropriate
distance. She could lead us to more clues to solve this case."
Tasmin
rubbed her temples. She remembered she had forgotten to restock on
paracetamol. This was going to be a long mission.
"Charge
one." Allison seemed to snap back to her normal self. Whatever
normal was, Tasmin thought. "Teenage girl with the sense of
fashion of a madman. What do you think: is she bullied in school?"
Allison stuck the pen back behind her ear.
"I
can't think whether that would make her more of a Sue or less."
The
ground started to shake. Allison shifted her weight. She had started
to become used to the time rifts and trained to get through them as
safely as possible. A flashback or sudden change of location was just
like standing in a train that went over a switch. If you shifted your
weight, you kept your balance without having to accidentally grab
onto fellow passengers in inappropriate places. The shaking stopped.
Allison looked around. They were at a kid's birthday party.
"I
feel very out of place here," she said to Tasmin.
Tasmin
did not reply. She tried to make a little boy stop pulling on the
skirt of her uniform.
"Are
you my friend?"
"I
don't think so."
"You're
my friend." The boy wrapped his arms around Tasmin's leg. Tasmin
looked pleadingly at Allison. Allison looked away to keep from
chuckling.
Murdock
was sitting in a corner of the room with a little girl on his lap. He
looked at least ten years younger and had considerably more hair on
his scalp. Murdock gave the girl a hug and some important life
lessons. Then the floor shook again and they were back in the psychiatric
ward of the VA. The little boy started to cry. Tasmin scooped him up.
"I'll
be right back." She opened a portal and stepped through it with
the little man on her arm shushing words of consolation to the boy.
It only made him cry louder and grip her neck tighter.
Allison
moved as close to Murdock's room as she dared to go. Canon couldn't
see her, not unless she made herself known to canon, or a non-canon
character pointed her out. Why that hadn't happened at the birthday
party Allison put down to the very young age of the non-canons. But
now the non-canon was a teenager; they tended to be quicker to notice
when things were not the way they were supposed to be.
Allison
saw in the words that Murdock made a phone call to call in the
calvary. She grabbed hold of the grill in the door to the adjacent room
so the fast forward time rift wouldn't sweep her off her feet. She
was just writing up the charge of putting the freedom of the A-Team
in danger by bringing them all to the VA, when Tasmin returned.
"Did
you tell the boy to always eat his veg?"
Tasmin
growled in reply. Both agents turned their attention to the words.
The rest of the Team were being introduced.
"I'm
Hannibal Smith," one said. He was a tall man who reminded me of
an albino: white hair, light skin- had his bright blue eyes been
pink, I would have freaked.
"She
does so not know what an albino looks like," Allison remarked.
"Hannibal looks nothing like an albino. Albinos have yellowish
hair. The color you get when you bleach your hair. And human albinos
rarely have red eyes. They usually have light blue eyes. Actually,
his eye color is the only thing Hannibal has got in common with an
albino." Allison stuck out her tongue in disgust.
"Really,
albinos have blue eyes? Many people think they have red eyes."
"That
she repeats stupid things other people say doesn't make it okay or
true. And no one has ever called Hannibal an albino."
"Right
on all accounts. You want to write her up on any of this?"
"You
have to ask?"
Tasmin
smiled to herself. This partnership was coming along nicely. Just a
few more missions and she had this partner molded into a shorter,
blonder image of herself. She dropped her smile when Allison gave her
an odd look. She nodded to the words. "Face is talking to the
girl now."
"Listen
here, kid," he replied, shaking his finger at me. "You need
to cut the attitude if you expect any help from us." My eyes
narrowed, followed by me shaking my head.
"Have
it your way then. I'll just handle things myself." I said
nothing more- just walked to the door and opened it. I stopped just
long enough to look back Murdock, form my fingers into the Vulcan
greeting sign and smile. "Live long and prosper, Murdock."
With that, I walked out the door.
"Sues
are so sensitive." Tasmin sighed. "She came for help from
Murdock what does she care what Face thinks or says."
"I
care about what Face says. And he wouldn't say a thing like this."
Allison tried to remove the Character Analysis Device from her
pocket, but it was stuck and she gave up.
The Sue
seemed to be so up set with getting nil on her request for help she
walked past the agents without taking notice. The agents quickly
hurried for Murdock's room and heard BA speak up.
"Quiet,
Face," he replied. "You could have been a tad less mordant
and a bit more supportive."
"Mordant?
Does he know what that means? I don't even know what mordant means."
"You
think a brother can't use big words?" Tasmin frowned down at
Allison.
"The
man uses double negatives. Most of his vocabulary seems to swerve
around the word 'fool'. So, yeah, I'm not too impressed with his use
of the English language."
"Well,
we can't all speak the Queen's English."
"I
don't speak the Queen's English either," Allison mouthed. "And
what does mordant mean?"
"It
means criticizing in an amusing way."
"Face
wasn't mordant. You're mordant. I'm mordant."
"True.
And the Sue is taking an elevator down to the first floor. You want
to make a mordant remark about that?"
"Sure.
In the episode 'When are you comin' back, Range Rider' Face came to
get Murdock from the VA by climbing through the window. After they
left through that same window BA replaced the grid outside of it.
Thus implying that Murdock had a room on the ground floor, or a very
wide ledge on the outside. How's that for being mordant?"
Tasmin
considered for a moment. "Could have been better."
"You're
not easy to please, are you?"
The floor shook again. Allison
fell on her ass in a non-descript place. In mid-air hung a banner, sporting the words:
'Welcome to Nam'. Other than that there was nothing, except for three
men in combat gear. Tasmin knelt down beside her.
"I
do hope those two non-canons are too busy to fuss over that diamond,
because they're armed and we'd be in serious trouble if they spotted
us," Tasmin said.
"Who
finds a diamond in the jungle anyway?" Allison remarked. She was
pushed aside by a tree suddenly shooting from the ground.
"What
made you think it was in the jungle?" Tasmin asked. "I
thought they were in a village, and saw it at a market stall."
The jungle setting disappeared as quickly as it had appeared and was
replaced by a small Vietnamese village, complete with a vegetable
market and villagers. The three soldiers were standing at a little
stall that sold precious rocks and necklaces.
"I
think the author would have mentioned it if they had bought it at a
market."
"What
makes you think that? The author gave no indication that they found
the stone in the jungle either."
"Well,
it makes more sense. With all the trodding through the jungle they
did."
"Pilots
don't trod. Besides diamonds, particularly rare diamonds, aren't just
found on the ground like they were ripe fruit. Someone must have lost
it somewhere. And that someone would want it back."
"I'll
write the Sue up for a plot that doesn't make sense. Soldiers finding
diamonds." Allison shook her head.
Tasmin
quickly picked up Allison as she saw Murdock's friend Jeff kick a
weapon from sergeant Mason. She pulled her partner behind a wall.
When the gun hit the ground, it fired, away from the group, hitting a
chicken that was crossing the street. The bird fell letting out a
tormented 'buck'.
The
floor shook again and the agents were back in the VA. They scrambled
to their feet taking back their posts outside Murdock's room.
We
had the gem checked out," Murdock said, finishing up the story.
"And it was in fact a diamond and I was allowed to keep it. But
I ended up giving it to Jeff as a wedding present."
"This
just adds to the improbability of the plot," Tasmin said.
"Vietnam has no diamond mining history; someone must have taken
it there. I wonder whether that person was consulted before Murdock
was 'allowed' to keep the diamond. Now it sounds more like they've
given Murdock a war bounty."
"I
didn't know Americans took war bounty in Nam."
Tasmin
shrugged in reply. She turned her attention back to the Team.
"Eh,
she's just a kid," Face said. "How much trouble could she
get into?"
"She's
not just a kid!" Murdock yelled. "She's my goddaughter and
that makes her my responsibility!" It was true- I was Murdock's
goddaughter. And as the team looked at him in awe, Murdock remembered
the day Dad had asked him.
"No,
not another flashback," Allison groaned beside her. "It's
making me nauseous. In want to upchuck my breakfast." She was
flung against the car door as Murdock took a sharp turn without
slowing down the car by any degree. The latest flashback had taken
the agents to the back seat of Jeff's car, on his way to the hospital where
his wife was in labor.
When
they arrived at the hospital Murdock and Jeff rushed over to the
Maternity ward, Tasmin on their tail; Allison went into a ladies'
room to relieve herself of her breakfast, in one way or another. She
joined Tasmin a little later with her stomach a little settled.
"Why
are you looking so worried?" Allison asked her partner.
"I'm
trying to figure out what year this is. Murdock was taken to the VA
pretty much on his return home after the war. I doubt Jeff would have
sprang him from the VA to get to his wife in hospital. He would have
been here quicker if he hadn't taken that detour."
"So
you figure the Sue was born when Murdock was back in the US in
between tours?"
"That's
my best guess. Besides she is sixteen and visiting Murdock at the VA,
that means she was born in 1970 or before. I hate it when authors
don't give a clue whatsoever of when and where we are. C'mon, we're
going back to the VA."
"Through
the portal, please," Allison pleaded in a whiny voice.
"Through
the portal." Tasmin opened up a portal and the agents stepped
through.
-oOo-
The
portal brought them to the steps leading up to the front entrance of
the VA. The Sue just stepped onto the sidewalk. A dark van pulled up.
Two men jumped out. One of them caught and drugged the Sue; she was
thrown into the van. The men got back in and the van drove off. Allison
looked up as she heard a desperate cry coming from above.
"Kayla!"
"I
think the Sue just hired herself the A-Team." Tasmin smirked.
Allison made an involuntary movement to a non-existent breast pocket
to present her with a cigar.
"Come,
I want to show you something." Tasmin opened the portal. The two
agents stepped through it. On the other side was a street, houses on
either side, wired fences around the yards.
"Where
are we now?"
"Another
flashback. The Sue remembers the night Chase, the bad guy, came for a
visit and killed her dad. I wanted to show you that." Tasmin
pointed at the words.
I
locked the door and climbed out the window onto the roof above the
front porch. I then jumped to the ground and got into my dad's car, a
silver Ford Mustang rag top. He left the keys in it again.
"She
mentioned the brand name." Allison rolled her eyes. "You
must be really chuffed." Tasmin was grinning from ear to ear.
"You want to do a little happy dance?"
"Yeah,"
Tasmin managed to say and did a little happy dance. Allison rolled
her eyes again, and added another item to her list of disturbing
things she hoped never to see again.
When
she was done Tasmin opened a portal that took the two agents back to
the street at the front of the VA. They sat down on the lawn to read
the words of the events that took place in the van.
"Well,
Kayla, what's it going to be?" I was shaken from my memories by
Chase's voice and looked up at him. "Are you going to give me
the Dragon's Eye, or am I going to have to kill you?" I smiled.
Murdock had once told me to never cross the fine line between crazy
and stupid- I didn't listen.
"It's
a funny thing, Chase," I replied. "You see, I was playing
marbles with the President and I didn't think it'd be proper if I
took him to the cleaners. Sorry." I knew I'd pissed him off and
was looking for his hand to come flying towards my face. When it
finally did, I dodged. And I dodged again and again. I kept dodging
until he finally quit.
"Murdock
once told her not to cross the fine line between brave and stupid,"
Allison said.
"When
did he do that?"
"At
the birthday party, when you were making your friend."
Tasmin
growled. She pulled up her legs to sit cross-legged and pulled her
duffel bag on her lap. Allison wondered why they had to disguise as
nurses to go through the fic unnoticed, but that Tasmin could keep
her old army duffel bag, which stuck out like a sore thumb in the
worst of circumstances. She figured it had something to do with the
laws of physical displacement in the PPC-continuum.
"How
much room do you think there is in a van for ducking punches?"
"Not
enough to make a man like Chase give up," Tasmin replied.
They
sat quietly for a moment. Allison padded the grass, then something
occurred to her: "Why is it that sometimes we're thrown about in
a fic and other times we can stay for some time in one location?"
Tasmin
raised her eyebrows and dug through her bag. A moment later she
produced a small device. "The Fic Location Follower was set to
Random; I've set it to Manual. We shouldn't be randomly transported
from place to place anymore now." She threw the device back in
her bag.
"Do
you also have a floor lamp in that bag of yours?"
"Why
would I walk around with a lamp?" Tasmin gave her an odd look.
"I
don't know. To make yourself at home where ever you go."
"Don't
be silly."
Allison
leaned back on the lawn. "I like it here. Can we stay here while
we endure the rest of the story?" She had not finished her
question or the ground started to shake again. She groaned.
-oOo-
When
the shaking stopped Allison and Tasmin were in an unkept backyard.
"I
thought you set that Locater thing to Manual?"
Tasmin
took the Fic Location Follower from her bag. "It must have
switched to Automatic on its own."
"It
can do that?"
"Sure,
it's necessary to explain away plot holes in PPC fics." Tasmin
set the FLF to Manual again and returned it to her bag.
Allison
rolled her eyes and looked around. "You make this one up?"
"Yeah.
The Sue was tied up in a room, with the bad guys in an adjacent room.
I figured they should have a garden too."
At
this time, I was sitting in a corner, hands tied behind me, singing
an old Jimmy Buffet song.
"Great,"
Allison muttered. "She's got Murdock's sense of fashion,
Hannibal's sense of sanity. I'll bet you she wins at fights with the
ease of BA and she uses witticisms like Face when she gets caught in
a bad spot."
"You
won't be finding any takers on that bet." Tasmin pointed at the
Words which revealed the second half of the bet: the Sue tried a Face
like joke on the bad guys when they caught her out of her bounds. She
easily took care of them.
I
was a master in Karate, taught to me by my father, who learned it
from a master in Japan. But the bad guys didn't know that... so I'll
leave what happened up to your imagination.
"Like
so many other things in this fic," Tasmin remarked.
"We
could just imagine that they punch the life out of her."
"We
can't have the Sue killed before we charge her."
"When
are we going to charge this Sue?"
"How
many charges do you have?"
"That
depends. Does having the good qualities of each of the Team-members
count as one charge or as four?"
Tasmin
answered that with a what-do-you-think look.
"Fifteen."
"Good
enough for me." Tasmin pulled out the remote activator. "Let's
go to Argentina." She opened a portal.
"Can
we please get out of these nurses' uniforms and into something ...
less white?"
"White
people just don't look good in white," Tasmin chuckled as she
stepped through the portal.
"I'll
second that."
-oOo-
In
the Argentinean jungle Allison glanced appreciatively over her
fatigues. Until she saw that the name on her breast pocket was still
Ratched. She growled and decided to kick Tasmin's butt, and every
other body part she could reach, when they got back to the office.
Overhead
a helicopter passed. Tasmin shook her head.
"They
took a chopper from Texas to Argentina. Can you believe it? Why
didn't they take a plane?"
"Because
the Sue is American and as such has a very poor grasp of geography?"
Allison suggested. When Tasmin threw her a glare she added, "Or,
she likes to stop over for refueling every three to four hundred
miles. Should be able to get to Argentina in ... what? Fifteen or
twenty stops?"
The
helicopter jerked to the side once again... this time causing Face to
fall out.
"That
explains the chopper," Tasmin said contently.
"Aaaaah!"
Allison screamed. "She's killing Face!"
"Relax."
Tasmin gave a reassuring squeeze in her partner's shoulder. "Face
won't die. And it only takes displaying two or three movie myths. Can
you name these movie myths?"
Seconds
later, I dived out. The first thing I did in the chopper was put on
my parachute- Face hadn't done that was now free falling over the
Argentinean jungle. "Aw, man!"
I
kept my arms and legs as close to my body, providing less wind
resistance and allowing me to move fast. I quickly approached Face
and grabbed hold of him, wrapping my arms and legs around him.
"Hang
on, dude!"
I
pulled my rip cord- the parachute opened and we slowly floated to the
ground. When we got there, I let go of him, got free from the chute
and stood in silence...
Allison
sniffed. "Er, jumping out seconds later and still catching up to
him, even though the chopper has proceeded some ... what?"
Tasmin
took her calculator from her duffel bag, punching in numbers as she
explained to Allison. "The cruise speed of this particular
chopper, a UH-D1 by the way although she gave the wrong description
of the interior, is 125 miles per hour. That would be about 180 feet
per second. Face does not have their propulsion, so in falling he
will be unable to keep up. Also, they are flying at approximately
5000 feet. Which means that Face will touch down in about 17
seconds."
Allison
shook her head fervently to remove this image from her mind's eye.
"Second movie myth: she does Free style acrobatics on what is
probably her first jump."
"Very
good. And?"
"Two
people that make a successful landing using only one parachute."
"Actually,
that can be done. Face would have to hook his arms through the Sue's
chest harness, all the way to his elbows, and grab hold of his own
arms. Then the Sue should open the chute. This would break Face's
arms. She then would have to hold onto Face with one arm and use only
one hand to steer the chute to a place that is sort of comfy to land;
which is pretty tough in this jungle. Even if there was a large open
space with grass or some water to land, they would probably still
come in so fast they'd both break their legs."
"But
it can be done?"
"Not
from 5000 feet. Perhaps from 40,000 feet. But Face will have broken
bones, and need medical attention."
"Maybe
those guys can offer it." Allison pointed at some men closing in
on the Sue and Face.
"Maybe.
I hope they get to them soon. The Sue just unpacked her bag. In it
she had: four flavors of candy, batteries, a flash light, cigars,
rope, matches, paper, a stuffed animal, a water gun, a two way radio,
and dynamite."
"Dynamite?
The Sue's got more stuff in her bag than you." Allison folded
with silent laughter. Tasmin growled in reply. "Are you jealous
of her?"
"No
point in a kid carrying around dynamite," Tasmin muttered.
Allison
folded again. Tasmin gave her a push. Allison rolled onto her back
and held her stomach while she tried to keep her laughing as quiet as
possible while her whole body wanted to laugh out loud.
After
the Sue talked to Murdock on the two way radio and exchanged some code
with him -- Tasmin growled they hadn't seen each other in ten years.
Allison suggested they had been avid pen pals; she knew this would
annoy her partner -- the Sue and Face set out to meet the rest of the
Team in a clearing. Not much later they were captured by a group of
guys holding AK-47s. Tasmin smiled from ear to ear. The mention of
the type of machine guns made her happy; the capture of the Sue made
her happier.
-oOo-
Tasmin
and Allison followed the Sue, Face and party at a respectable distance.
They were severely out-numbered in firing power by the party. It was
a statistic they both appreciated. The Sue and Face were taken to some sort
of guerrilla military compound. There were some handmade huts,
scarcely obscured munition depots and two bamboo cages. The Sue and Face
were each placed in one of them.
Tasmin
and Allison waited patiently until the Sue was take form her cage
before moving closer to the camp.
"Hey,
she never did say what Face was wearing, did she? For all we know he
could be sitting here in his boxers." Allison grinned contently
as she looked into Face's cage.
"What
did you do?" Tasmin turned around and glared at Allison. "You
can't just put canon in his briefs because it pleases you."
"Actually,
you did that." Allison liked her lips.
Face
looked around frantically. What was happening to him?
"I
thought you were a Murdock-girl anyway?"
"I
have absolutely no desire what so ever of finding out what he's got
underneath his T-shirt. I like that, though."
Tasmin
slapped Allison upside the head to get her attention. And as an
outlet for her annoyance with her partner.
"Stop
toying with canon. It's not as if they don't suffer enough already.
Give the man back his clothes, and c'mon."
Allison
rubbed the back of her head. When Tasmin slapped, it wasn't
halfheartedly. "First season jeans and leather jacket." She
waved her hand as if she did the magic herself. Face pulled the
jacket around his shoulders and threw a frightful look in the
direction of the main building on the compound.
After
a short recon Tasmin had determined there were five men around the
compound: two guards with a sweet tooth watching the outside
perimeter; two men in the building with the Sue; and Chase, who was
also with the Sue. From the words they learned Chase was beating up
the Sue to get information, but she was not giving him the
satisfaction of her screams.
Tasmin
licked her lips. "Let's rock."
The
next thing I knew, a gun went off.
Tasmin's
gun to be exact. The first of the candy-eating guards had spotted her
before she had had time to screw on her silencer. The second one came
rushing over, only to meet the same fate as his friend, with silencer
this time.
A
moment later the two other men came from the main building dragging
the Sue along in between them. Chase watched them go from the door
post. Tasmin took aim and shot him from a long distance. The last men
were shot after they left the building in which they had brought the
Sue.
The
two agents stepped into the hut. The Sue was lying on the cement
floor -- which Allison thought was odd for a handmade hut -- bound
hand and foot. Allison hunched down beside her and tapped her lightly
on the cheeks to make her wake up. The Sue opened her eyes and
squinted her eyes in an attempt to make the blurriness go away.
"Hi,
Kay."
"Who
are you?" she asked in a hoarse voice.
"Allison.
I just wanted to say that when I was fourteen I wanted to be just
like you. You know: smart, great at karate, always having a witty
rebuttal, Charlie's Angel type heroine."
"You
came all the way to this jungle to tell me that?"
"No,
I came to tell you that I've grown up and I know those don't make the
most interesting heroines," Allison said. "Plus karate is
mainly about wearing a pyjama in the day time."
"Huh.
What kind of sport are you into?"
"Greek-Roman
Wrestling."
"So
rather than wearing pyjamas you wear a baby's romper. Grown ups, go
figure." Kay coughed and cleared her throat. "Allison's
smile fell from her face. She clenched her fist and threw a punch at
me. You can imagine by now that she hit the wall. She winced, kissed
each knuckle and put her hand under her arm.
'You
should know better than to hit a Sue with superpowers,' a tall black
woman with the build of a long distance runner said, chuckling.
Allison glared at her and growled. Then they both turned their
attention to me.
'Why
are you still talking?' the black woman asked; we hadn't been
formally introduced yet.
'This
is my story, told from my point of view. I'm just using my narrative
voice,' I replied.
The
two women looked at each other, then each grabbed one of my arms and
dragged me to the door."
The
agents dragged the Sue away from the compound and into the
non-descript jungle. There they let go of her. The Sue opened her mouth
and closed it again. Like a fish on dry land. She shook her head.
"We
took you out of your story. You've lost your narrative voice,"
Tasmin said, sensing her question.
"What's
going on?" The Sue finally managed to say. "What are you doing
taking me out of my story?"
"We're
here to charge you with being a Sue. Allison, if you please."
"Oh,
I do please." Allison flexed her eye-brows. Tasmin just barely
managed to not role her eyes. "Dear Kayla Troy, Kay. We are
Protectors of the Plot Continuum. We hereby charge you with being so
great you make the A-Team obsolete. You have Murdock's sense of
fashion, Hannibal's sense of sanity, Face's witticism, and you win
fights as easily as BA. We charge you with giving so little details
that locations become non-descript. We charge you with the death of a
chicken."
"A
chicken? I don't remember any chicken."
"Don't
interrupt. You will get your say in a moment. We charge you with
taking a helicopter to Argentina for the sole purpose of having Face
fall out so that you could save his life. Which, by the way, is not
really possible the way you did."
The
Sue wanted to speak up again, but Allison silenced her. "Just
because you have seen it in a movie doesn't mean you have to write
about it. Besides in movies they never do this jumping from helicopters. Lastly,
we charge you with having a plot that makes no sense: finding a
diamond in Vietnam, a mob boss who's after it, and also has
connections with Argentinean baddies? What were you thinking?"
"I'd
like to add a charge," Tasmin said. "I charge you with
carrying way too much stuff in your bag. Teenagers should be carrying
candy and school books only."
"Maybe
I'm not in school anymore?" the Sue said defiantly.
"Will
those be your last words?"
"Not
if I can help it," the Sue replied.
Tasmin
shot her between the eyes. "You just did." She unscrewed
the silencer and stuffed gun and silencer in her duffel bag. "Let's
go home."
-oOo-
A/N:
Charlie's Angel type heroines make for bad original characters.
Seriously, why would they need to enlist the aid of the A-Team? They
can handle the bad guys themselves! Please, instill some fear in the
girl (only sociopaths are never afraid). When writing a story you
should
not only think about action that is fun to read about in an action
sense, but also in a realism sense: the action should be realistic in
the world you're writing in. Look on a map before you have characters
fly half way around the world; look up the specifics of the bird
they're taking; have a chat with someone about the laws of gravity.
Ethics Report from the PPC Department of Internal Affairs: one chicken was needlessly hurt in this story.