Co-Authored Fic!
Title: Bertie's Latest Tune
Rating: PG-13 ish? R-ish?
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Jooster
Authors: mrs_dalliard and chaoschick13
Notes: Dialogue only! This was a little something we threw together, just for the fun of it!
A ficlet by mrs_dalliard (as Jeeves) and chaoschick13 (as Bertie). Oh the abuse! Oh the fun of it all!
Bertie’s Latest Tune
“I say, Jeeves, have you heard the latest tune favored at the Drones? It’s rather snappy, if I don’t say so myself.”
“Indeed sir? Do you perhaps recall the title of said tune, sir?”
“Well, no, but I think I might have a lyric or two. Maybe you would be able to come up with the title?”
“I will try my best, sir.”
“It goes something, something, uh…something… This is jolly difficult!”
*sheep-like cough*
“Er…something, It’s complicated and stupid…something”
“Indeed, sir.”
“Anything spring to that fish-fed brain of yours, Jeeves?”
“I’m afraid nothing comes to mind that would be of help, sir. I must confess to not being overly familiar with modern compositions.”
“Oh, well, it is a rather expressive song, Jeeves. It…er…it has a rather interesting subject matter, if you will.”
“Indeed, sir? And what subject might that be, if I may ask?”
“You may ask Jeeves, yes, ask away old thing.”
“…”
“Oh. Well, you already have. Well then. Erm. Perhaps if you could hear it? Er…no. I don’t have the sheet music.”
“Perhaps one of your acquaintances would have access to it, sir?”
“Bingo was the one who introduced me to this particular song, he might have the music somewhere, but…well…dash it all!”
“Sir?”
“I don’t really want to involve Bingo in this!”
“I…see, sir. A delicate matter of an…amorous nature, perhaps?”
“An excellent guess Jeeves, though one could hardly doubt that much else would come from Bingo. Right-ho, here goes then. I remember a few more lyrics, and if you would just hear them out…”
*clears voice*
“I wanna kiss you,”
“SIR?”
“No, Jeeves, the lyrics of the thing…just hear them out, what?”
“I see, sir.”
“Er…right. I wanna kiss you, but if I do then I might miss you. It’s complicated and stupid, got my ..er…my ass squeezed by sexy Cupid, guess he wants to play, a love game. Or some such as that. Ring any bells Jeeves?”
“…”
“Though, I don’t suppose you would hear the latest, but I just can’t manage to drag the title of the dashed thing out of the old bean!”
“I..I don’t believe I have heard this particular piece of…music, sir.”
“Are you sure?”
“Quite, sir”
“I might remember a bit more. Something…something…Hold me and love me, just wanna touch you for a minute.”
“…*gulp*”
“Maybe three seconds is enough for my heart to quit it. Still nothing, old thing?”
*discreet trouser shift*
“No, sir, I fear not.”
“I say, Jeeves, are you quite alright? You seem to have gone a bit pink around the old phizog…”
“A slight stiffness of the joints, sir, nothing serious.”
“Er, right-ho, if you say so, Jeeves, though I must insist you take a seat, you do look rather rummy.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Not at all. But are you absolutely certain you aren’t familiar with that tune? I still can’t remember the title. I was considering playing it for my talent portion next Saturday at the Drones.”
“I love you.”
“Well, I say!”
“The title, I mean, sir.”
“Hmm. I don’t think that was the title. Perhaps. Well, I’ll just have to give it up as lost and adrift in the sea of the Wooster grey matter.”
“Very good, sir. May I be permitted to turn in early tonight, sir? I fear I do feel rather faint.”
“And you look it too, Jeeves! What has you riled? Shall I call the doctor?”
“I’m sorry, sir, I would rather not speak on the subject, it is of a very personal nature.”
“Nonsense, man! If your health is on the line, I should like to know what is wrong!”
“…”
“Jeeves, please. Either let me call the doctor, or let me help you to your room.”
“Thank you sir, that is very kind of you.”
“I say, Jeeves, you are rather warm to the touch…”
“Sir!”
“Come on, old thing, I am simply trying to support you on the way, you look ready to drop where you stand! Er…Jeeves, why are you turned away…and why are you leaning so far to one side?”
“Sir, it is nothing, I am quite well enough to manage, I do not think this is quite appropriate anymore…”
“I don’t see why not. Oh! I remember the title!”
“…Indeed, sir?”
“Yes! It’s called Love Game!”
“Love…very good, sir.”
“By some well-to-do beazel. Lady something or other. No matter.”
“Gaga, sir?”
“Jeeves, I must insist you have a lie down, you are speaking gibberish.”
“Very good, sir.”
“Now, come along, and don’t lean so far to the side or I’ll topple…ahhh!”
“Sir! Have I hurt you?”
“Jeeves! What in the world do you have in your trousers? Are you in the habit of carrying around large whats-its in your pockets?”
“Sir…I can explain…”
“Oh. I say. I say!”
“Sir…Mr. Wooster…”
“Er…what?...Oh…yes Jeeves?”
“Sir, I’m sorry…I..it may be better if you would leave now. I’ll tender my resignation in the mor..ahhhh…SIR!”
“Jeeves, I won’t hear of you resigning, goodness man, not now!”
“S…Mr. Woo…Bertie!”
Mmm…yes, Jeeves? Perhaps you could shift over just a bit…”
“Ahh, Berties..yes, just..there…”
“You bally well put out quite a bit of heat, I’m stifling hot, help me off with this dashed thing!”
“…”
“That must be a new personal record, Jeeves, though I must say I’ve never seen you crumple and throw my shirt across the room before.”
“…”
“I think I heard a button go…”
“…”
“And the inseam on my trousers, surely that is ruin…mmrrphll!”
“*smirk*”
“But…But what about your togs?”
“Never mind them now, sir, I wish to devour you…”
“Well, carry on, Jeeves!”
Rating: PG-13 ish? R-ish?
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Jooster
Authors: mrs_dalliard and chaoschick13
Notes: Dialogue only! This was a little something we threw together, just for the fun of it!
A ficlet by mrs_dalliard (as Jeeves) and chaoschick13 (as Bertie). Oh the abuse! Oh the fun of it all!
Bertie’s Latest Tune
“I say, Jeeves, have you heard the latest tune favored at the Drones? It’s rather snappy, if I don’t say so myself.”
“Indeed sir? Do you perhaps recall the title of said tune, sir?”
“Well, no, but I think I might have a lyric or two. Maybe you would be able to come up with the title?”
“I will try my best, sir.”
“It goes something, something, uh…something… This is jolly difficult!”
*sheep-like cough*
“Er…something, It’s complicated and stupid…something”
“Indeed, sir.”
“Anything spring to that fish-fed brain of yours, Jeeves?”
“I’m afraid nothing comes to mind that would be of help, sir. I must confess to not being overly familiar with modern compositions.”
“Oh, well, it is a rather expressive song, Jeeves. It…er…it has a rather interesting subject matter, if you will.”
“Indeed, sir? And what subject might that be, if I may ask?”
“You may ask Jeeves, yes, ask away old thing.”
“…”
“Oh. Well, you already have. Well then. Erm. Perhaps if you could hear it? Er…no. I don’t have the sheet music.”
“Perhaps one of your acquaintances would have access to it, sir?”
“Bingo was the one who introduced me to this particular song, he might have the music somewhere, but…well…dash it all!”
“Sir?”
“I don’t really want to involve Bingo in this!”
“I…see, sir. A delicate matter of an…amorous nature, perhaps?”
“An excellent guess Jeeves, though one could hardly doubt that much else would come from Bingo. Right-ho, here goes then. I remember a few more lyrics, and if you would just hear them out…”
*clears voice*
“I wanna kiss you,”
“SIR?”
“No, Jeeves, the lyrics of the thing…just hear them out, what?”
“I see, sir.”
“Er…right. I wanna kiss you, but if I do then I might miss you. It’s complicated and stupid, got my ..er…my ass squeezed by sexy Cupid, guess he wants to play, a love game. Or some such as that. Ring any bells Jeeves?”
“…”
“Though, I don’t suppose you would hear the latest, but I just can’t manage to drag the title of the dashed thing out of the old bean!”
“I..I don’t believe I have heard this particular piece of…music, sir.”
“Are you sure?”
“Quite, sir”
“I might remember a bit more. Something…something…Hold me and love me, just wanna touch you for a minute.”
“…*gulp*”
“Maybe three seconds is enough for my heart to quit it. Still nothing, old thing?”
*discreet trouser shift*
“No, sir, I fear not.”
“I say, Jeeves, are you quite alright? You seem to have gone a bit pink around the old phizog…”
“A slight stiffness of the joints, sir, nothing serious.”
“Er, right-ho, if you say so, Jeeves, though I must insist you take a seat, you do look rather rummy.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Not at all. But are you absolutely certain you aren’t familiar with that tune? I still can’t remember the title. I was considering playing it for my talent portion next Saturday at the Drones.”
“I love you.”
“Well, I say!”
“The title, I mean, sir.”
“Hmm. I don’t think that was the title. Perhaps. Well, I’ll just have to give it up as lost and adrift in the sea of the Wooster grey matter.”
“Very good, sir. May I be permitted to turn in early tonight, sir? I fear I do feel rather faint.”
“And you look it too, Jeeves! What has you riled? Shall I call the doctor?”
“I’m sorry, sir, I would rather not speak on the subject, it is of a very personal nature.”
“Nonsense, man! If your health is on the line, I should like to know what is wrong!”
“…”
“Jeeves, please. Either let me call the doctor, or let me help you to your room.”
“Thank you sir, that is very kind of you.”
“I say, Jeeves, you are rather warm to the touch…”
“Sir!”
“Come on, old thing, I am simply trying to support you on the way, you look ready to drop where you stand! Er…Jeeves, why are you turned away…and why are you leaning so far to one side?”
“Sir, it is nothing, I am quite well enough to manage, I do not think this is quite appropriate anymore…”
“I don’t see why not. Oh! I remember the title!”
“…Indeed, sir?”
“Yes! It’s called Love Game!”
“Love…very good, sir.”
“By some well-to-do beazel. Lady something or other. No matter.”
“Gaga, sir?”
“Jeeves, I must insist you have a lie down, you are speaking gibberish.”
“Very good, sir.”
“Now, come along, and don’t lean so far to the side or I’ll topple…ahhh!”
“Sir! Have I hurt you?”
“Jeeves! What in the world do you have in your trousers? Are you in the habit of carrying around large whats-its in your pockets?”
“Sir…I can explain…”
“Oh. I say. I say!”
“Sir…Mr. Wooster…”
“Er…what?...Oh…yes Jeeves?”
“Sir, I’m sorry…I..it may be better if you would leave now. I’ll tender my resignation in the mor..ahhhh…SIR!”
“Jeeves, I won’t hear of you resigning, goodness man, not now!”
“S…Mr. Woo…Bertie!”
Mmm…yes, Jeeves? Perhaps you could shift over just a bit…”
“Ahh, Berties..yes, just..there…”
“You bally well put out quite a bit of heat, I’m stifling hot, help me off with this dashed thing!”
“…”
“That must be a new personal record, Jeeves, though I must say I’ve never seen you crumple and throw my shirt across the room before.”
“…”
“I think I heard a button go…”
“…”
“And the inseam on my trousers, surely that is ruin…mmrrphll!”
“*smirk*”
“But…But what about your togs?”
“Never mind them now, sir, I wish to devour you…”
“Well, carry on, Jeeves!”