broken.
ouch.
after six months. he comes home and doesnt know how he feels. now were on a break. it hurts a lot. but i have to be strong right? :(
i still love him. so i cant just forget how i feel and move on. it doesnt work like that. it shouldnt have to work like that. if he thought he had reason to be afraid to fall in love, he should put himself in my shoes. id be more afraid of having the person you love just stop loving you than anything else. but whatever, im not mad at him. i cant be, i cant bring myself to be mad at him.
my friends are now my bandaids. they're patching up my heart. they have hope. which gives me hope. thanks to all of you, you have no idea how much you mean to me.
so i keep losing weight. i havent really been super hungry lately. im down to 113 or 112. im scared. i try to eat the most fattening stuff at work, when im on break (trust me theres enough to choose from), but nothing seems to be working. i dont want to broadcast this and have people start freaking out, claiming i have an eating disorder, because i dont. i dont know what it is. maybe just stress.
fortunately im not wicked bitter, which is how i usually get when a guy throws shit at me like this. im more or less cautious. because my vulnerability and sensitivity are rediculously high. im afraid to get hurt more, to put it in english. so if i snap at you, or respond incredibly guarded to something you say, i apologize. just realize im in a tough mental state right now.
workin like a maniac to pretend im happy.
<33 bridge
after six months. he comes home and doesnt know how he feels. now were on a break. it hurts a lot. but i have to be strong right? :(
i still love him. so i cant just forget how i feel and move on. it doesnt work like that. it shouldnt have to work like that. if he thought he had reason to be afraid to fall in love, he should put himself in my shoes. id be more afraid of having the person you love just stop loving you than anything else. but whatever, im not mad at him. i cant be, i cant bring myself to be mad at him.
my friends are now my bandaids. they're patching up my heart. they have hope. which gives me hope. thanks to all of you, you have no idea how much you mean to me.
so i keep losing weight. i havent really been super hungry lately. im down to 113 or 112. im scared. i try to eat the most fattening stuff at work, when im on break (trust me theres enough to choose from), but nothing seems to be working. i dont want to broadcast this and have people start freaking out, claiming i have an eating disorder, because i dont. i dont know what it is. maybe just stress.
fortunately im not wicked bitter, which is how i usually get when a guy throws shit at me like this. im more or less cautious. because my vulnerability and sensitivity are rediculously high. im afraid to get hurt more, to put it in english. so if i snap at you, or respond incredibly guarded to something you say, i apologize. just realize im in a tough mental state right now.
workin like a maniac to pretend im happy.
<33 bridge