Distance Slackercation and Some Sugar Speak
So, I've been working on a math class online for about 2 months now and so far I'm doing about a D's worth of progress. I've never made the claim or had the ego to say I could do math and I won't ever make it in the future that way. I simply cannot stand the critical thinking and all of the rationalization. And, on top of all of that crap I can't remember shit about formulas, rules and principles. Like, I couldn't figure out this one problem tonight, or how the answer in the key was blah blah blah... I had to use youtube to walk me through the problem. I totally fucking forgot that i² is (-1). I'm over it and I'm over x,y, and s. Grow the fuck up, variables!
I'm starting to feel more and more like the coefficients in my math equations. I'm just here supporting this train wreck while the damn x gets all the attention. I suppose if I were to put in more time doing this math homework, hire a tutor and pray the 10 "Our Fathers" and "Hail Mary's" needed to get at least a 70 in this class I could get something out of this. But, math is not my favorite thing to do. I'd rather stare at images of girl on girl action. Ok, that's a lie, I'll take trigonometry up my nose any day over that. Ewww.
I am going to finish this math class this semester. I ain't dropping out. Since I'm currently unemployed I have no excuse not to finish it, right? I guess Sim City will have to wait. I made the mistake of telling Paul that I'm going to start looking for a job on Monday. While this isn't entirely untrue, I'm kind of dreading looking around at the job markets these days. I find it hard not to be pigeon-holed into doing only customer service call center work. I'll keep an update on the job search, if and when it commences.
As far as my health goes, I've accomplished a really big milestone! I stopped taking one of my diabetes medicines because i've been controlling my sugar more and more every day. The average has been in the very low 100s. If you're not familiar with blood sugar levels, the average person has blood glucose levels after a meal of about 80 - 120. For a diabetic, it's really easy for this to be 150, 210, 289 etc... I've been way up that high before y'all. It's a euphoric feeling and all I want to do is sleep. The bad thing is my body is not producing enough insulin so I begin to crash. The sugar in my blood is rushing through every spot in my body that requires blood and is carrying sugar crystals with it (which is like glass) and is cutting up and scarring my blood vessels. This is one of the reasons why diabetics go blind, the sugars tear up the fine vessels in the back of the eyeballs, thus ruining your eye sight. This is what is happening to my Mom right now. She has uncontrollable sugar and her vision is very poor as a result of it. Her vision has declined dramatically in about 5 years to now she's struggling to see anything that isn't the size of a bill board.
For a while I was letting my blood glucose levels get really out of control. My doctor prescribed me a pill called glipizide, which is a supplement to the metformin drug that most diabetics with type 2 diabetes take. The glipizide is the kind of drug that will kick your ass if you are not careful with it. I almost slid into a diabetic coma when I first got it about a year ago. No details will be given, but just know that I doubled my dose one day for a very stupid reason and I about died. It was super scary and terrible. On the other hand, now that I'm actually moderating my calories to 1,995 a day my sugar has been hanging around the comfortable range of about 110. I stopped taking the glipizide because I was getting sick from low blood sugar even after eating a hefty meal. I was at the Whole Earth Provision store in the Galleria and out of nowhere I practically had to get to the car because I felt weightless and clammy. I was flustered and worst of all, shaky. The shakes hinder my ability to grip things. It's like Parkinson's disease I swear. Not fun.
I don't know if I've lost any weight, truthfully. However, I'm still tracking my calories and have been doing very good. Today, not so good LOL! Paul made fajitas and home made rice and beans. There were tortillas involved, and also chips and salsa and sour cream ZOMG!! I couldn't stop myself! But, I did drink 4 liters of water today. Not too bad, huh? The only real thing I have to do now is fit in exercise. I think I hate exercise more than I do mathematics. We went to 24 hr fitness on Tuesday night and I did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. I actually had the stamina to do more, but my ankles and my feet were both at a pain level of 8 and I felt like I was about to lose control of them at any moment. I've had many accidents involving sprains in the past in my ankles. The worst of the accidents was in 2008: I was exiting the city bus in my neighborhood and the curb was higher than I anticipated and as I stepped off the bus I adjusted my weight to my leg to prepare for a proper step down. Unfortunately it resulted in me falling down and crying in complete pain. I couldn't move or walk. It was pure adrenaline that got me up the stairs at my apartment that day. But, seriously I think I broke something that day. The xrays at the ER beg to differ but ever since then I haven't been able to get my feet or ankles to work the same. I continuously sprain either ankle when I am outside because I can't control my feet sometimes but that's a whole other story.
It's terrible when you let your body get to be so bad. So fat. So depressed and broken. It's almost as if the work to fix it isn't worth the work at all. It's kind of like the republican economy. It's just easier to continue to ruin it because it's convenient for your rather than do what needs to be done no matter how uncomfortable or tortuous it may be. I keep telling myself "baby steps Jay..." and it keeps me sane. Because I tend to want to do everything all at once. It's all or nothing ball to the wall with me. That's usually how I fail, and now I realize that the methods I know and learned have earned me the spot in hell I currently am in. So, we're trying something new. The progress is coming along I think. I have yet to weigh myself but I still feel like I am just about to fall apart. My CPAP machine broke on me on Wednesday night so I havne't actually slept since Tuesday. I'm cranky, tossing and turning all night/morning. It's absolutely miserable. Again, if I just lost the weight I could probably sleep okay again, but getting there is the pits.
Okay y'all I think I've rambled enough. Blogging is good for me. I like to get what I want to say off of my mind and out there. I just wish I had more blogging buddies like back in the day. Unfortunately Facebook killed the blogosphere star. Anyway, have a fabulous Sunday!
Oh and P.S. the song playing is totally random and so fitting to the blog today LMFAO! Thanks Rhapsody for the laugh!
I'm starting to feel more and more like the coefficients in my math equations. I'm just here supporting this train wreck while the damn x gets all the attention. I suppose if I were to put in more time doing this math homework, hire a tutor and pray the 10 "Our Fathers" and "Hail Mary's" needed to get at least a 70 in this class I could get something out of this. But, math is not my favorite thing to do. I'd rather stare at images of girl on girl action. Ok, that's a lie, I'll take trigonometry up my nose any day over that. Ewww.
I am going to finish this math class this semester. I ain't dropping out. Since I'm currently unemployed I have no excuse not to finish it, right? I guess Sim City will have to wait. I made the mistake of telling Paul that I'm going to start looking for a job on Monday. While this isn't entirely untrue, I'm kind of dreading looking around at the job markets these days. I find it hard not to be pigeon-holed into doing only customer service call center work. I'll keep an update on the job search, if and when it commences.
As far as my health goes, I've accomplished a really big milestone! I stopped taking one of my diabetes medicines because i've been controlling my sugar more and more every day. The average has been in the very low 100s. If you're not familiar with blood sugar levels, the average person has blood glucose levels after a meal of about 80 - 120. For a diabetic, it's really easy for this to be 150, 210, 289 etc... I've been way up that high before y'all. It's a euphoric feeling and all I want to do is sleep. The bad thing is my body is not producing enough insulin so I begin to crash. The sugar in my blood is rushing through every spot in my body that requires blood and is carrying sugar crystals with it (which is like glass) and is cutting up and scarring my blood vessels. This is one of the reasons why diabetics go blind, the sugars tear up the fine vessels in the back of the eyeballs, thus ruining your eye sight. This is what is happening to my Mom right now. She has uncontrollable sugar and her vision is very poor as a result of it. Her vision has declined dramatically in about 5 years to now she's struggling to see anything that isn't the size of a bill board.
For a while I was letting my blood glucose levels get really out of control. My doctor prescribed me a pill called glipizide, which is a supplement to the metformin drug that most diabetics with type 2 diabetes take. The glipizide is the kind of drug that will kick your ass if you are not careful with it. I almost slid into a diabetic coma when I first got it about a year ago. No details will be given, but just know that I doubled my dose one day for a very stupid reason and I about died. It was super scary and terrible. On the other hand, now that I'm actually moderating my calories to 1,995 a day my sugar has been hanging around the comfortable range of about 110. I stopped taking the glipizide because I was getting sick from low blood sugar even after eating a hefty meal. I was at the Whole Earth Provision store in the Galleria and out of nowhere I practically had to get to the car because I felt weightless and clammy. I was flustered and worst of all, shaky. The shakes hinder my ability to grip things. It's like Parkinson's disease I swear. Not fun.
I don't know if I've lost any weight, truthfully. However, I'm still tracking my calories and have been doing very good. Today, not so good LOL! Paul made fajitas and home made rice and beans. There were tortillas involved, and also chips and salsa and sour cream ZOMG!! I couldn't stop myself! But, I did drink 4 liters of water today. Not too bad, huh? The only real thing I have to do now is fit in exercise. I think I hate exercise more than I do mathematics. We went to 24 hr fitness on Tuesday night and I did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. I actually had the stamina to do more, but my ankles and my feet were both at a pain level of 8 and I felt like I was about to lose control of them at any moment. I've had many accidents involving sprains in the past in my ankles. The worst of the accidents was in 2008: I was exiting the city bus in my neighborhood and the curb was higher than I anticipated and as I stepped off the bus I adjusted my weight to my leg to prepare for a proper step down. Unfortunately it resulted in me falling down and crying in complete pain. I couldn't move or walk. It was pure adrenaline that got me up the stairs at my apartment that day. But, seriously I think I broke something that day. The xrays at the ER beg to differ but ever since then I haven't been able to get my feet or ankles to work the same. I continuously sprain either ankle when I am outside because I can't control my feet sometimes but that's a whole other story.
It's terrible when you let your body get to be so bad. So fat. So depressed and broken. It's almost as if the work to fix it isn't worth the work at all. It's kind of like the republican economy. It's just easier to continue to ruin it because it's convenient for your rather than do what needs to be done no matter how uncomfortable or tortuous it may be. I keep telling myself "baby steps Jay..." and it keeps me sane. Because I tend to want to do everything all at once. It's all or nothing ball to the wall with me. That's usually how I fail, and now I realize that the methods I know and learned have earned me the spot in hell I currently am in. So, we're trying something new. The progress is coming along I think. I have yet to weigh myself but I still feel like I am just about to fall apart. My CPAP machine broke on me on Wednesday night so I havne't actually slept since Tuesday. I'm cranky, tossing and turning all night/morning. It's absolutely miserable. Again, if I just lost the weight I could probably sleep okay again, but getting there is the pits.
Okay y'all I think I've rambled enough. Blogging is good for me. I like to get what I want to say off of my mind and out there. I just wish I had more blogging buddies like back in the day. Unfortunately Facebook killed the blogosphere star. Anyway, have a fabulous Sunday!
Oh and P.S. the song playing is totally random and so fitting to the blog today LMFAO! Thanks Rhapsody for the laugh!