My Mother's Side
Last night I dreamt that I was checking the mail at my grandparents' farm. I was looking to see if they had received their invitation to my wedding. It is a simple thing to dream about and it is not really a bad dream, but it is something that I am worried about. I don't think that anyone from my side of the family will come. There is a lot of history involved with that and quite simply, we have been estranged. I had not seen my grandparents before my great-grandmother's funeral, which was about 3 years ago, since I was 13. Before that it had been a number of years as well. These people are the only family that I know and I don't know them that well. It is kind of sad really. I am not inviting my father because he hasn't been a part of my life and really doesn't need to start now. I did invite the rest of my mother's side, but I don't have high hopes for them coming either. I am half wondering if they will think they have received an invitation in error because they won't recognize my name. I don't have the tears for this right now. I have been emotional about so much lately that it is almost numbing. I am sad though.