It's really almost 5 am...
I just got home around 4...
Today was a pretty ok day. I could feel the chemicals in my brain telling me that its not going to be a good day, but I just told them to shut up. I'm just feeling very edgy and paranoid, but not in an unhappy way. Yes I realize that makes no sense. Such is life.
I brought B. and the baby into San Antonio today, and me and B.'s sister brought the baby to church. He behaved so well, and I made only moderately awkward (considering my mental state) conversation with the Christian folks. P. gave me a list of Biblical references that point to Jesus being the Messiah described in the old testiment. I don't think it will help convince any family, but it was still a nice gesture. I have been asking her for a while what the Bible says about Jews who die without knowing Christ. She finally said something today (that had biblical relivence..I tune out immediately whenever anyone prefaces their words with "in my opinion) that was somewhat reassuring that my ancestors have a chance to be in Heaven. It says in the Bible that the Jews were (intentionally) blinded to Jesus being the Messiah, and it wouldn't make much sense to intentionally blind them to the truth and then break covinent and send them to hell. P. told me to have faith in the mercy of God. I choose fact over faith (not to downplay faith or anything), but I'm happy that my family at least has a chance that can be Biblically supported. This doesn't mean that ethnic jews such as myself can go "I'm blinded, yeah!" if we have in fact been given the gift of truth discernment, but I'm not looking for a "get out of hell free" card...I just want those who never understood the truth to have a chance.
Anyway...in other news..B. and I were talking about MSN's "MySpace" community. He really likes it, and I've been hearing a lot of good things about it. I was snooping around tonight and found a few friends on there! Maybe tomorrow I'll set up an account. I won't use the blog, since I already have this journal, and i like my entries to be a little more private, but it'll still be neat to see how many people I know on there!
Loveyoumeanit,
Today was a pretty ok day. I could feel the chemicals in my brain telling me that its not going to be a good day, but I just told them to shut up. I'm just feeling very edgy and paranoid, but not in an unhappy way. Yes I realize that makes no sense. Such is life.
I brought B. and the baby into San Antonio today, and me and B.'s sister brought the baby to church. He behaved so well, and I made only moderately awkward (considering my mental state) conversation with the Christian folks. P. gave me a list of Biblical references that point to Jesus being the Messiah described in the old testiment. I don't think it will help convince any family, but it was still a nice gesture. I have been asking her for a while what the Bible says about Jews who die without knowing Christ. She finally said something today (that had biblical relivence..I tune out immediately whenever anyone prefaces their words with "in my opinion) that was somewhat reassuring that my ancestors have a chance to be in Heaven. It says in the Bible that the Jews were (intentionally) blinded to Jesus being the Messiah, and it wouldn't make much sense to intentionally blind them to the truth and then break covinent and send them to hell. P. told me to have faith in the mercy of God. I choose fact over faith (not to downplay faith or anything), but I'm happy that my family at least has a chance that can be Biblically supported. This doesn't mean that ethnic jews such as myself can go "I'm blinded, yeah!" if we have in fact been given the gift of truth discernment, but I'm not looking for a "get out of hell free" card...I just want those who never understood the truth to have a chance.
Anyway...in other news..B. and I were talking about MSN's "MySpace" community. He really likes it, and I've been hearing a lot of good things about it. I was snooping around tonight and found a few friends on there! Maybe tomorrow I'll set up an account. I won't use the blog, since I already have this journal, and i like my entries to be a little more private, but it'll still be neat to see how many people I know on there!
Loveyoumeanit,