Aug 04, 2004 23:40
that was part statement. i thought i had everythign figured out relationship wise..but then..yah..mrs. doubt reared her ugly head. for those educationally challanged, mrs. doubt is not a real person, but a personification of doubt. i will probab;ly be going to LCBI..probably meanign maybe. and i have absolutly no objection..except for the huge one involving BRADEN. as in, oh my god, i love him so much, but all these god damn restrictions have made our non conformist and free 'relationship' seem like shit, and me like a random bitch accessory who bugs the hell out of him in the phone and makes him go out of his way to do things for me. i really cannot express my needfor him enough. i wish saying "braden, come to the fringe with me on saturday!" would not involving an hour of dscussion, yelling and ridiculous nonsense talk ab9otu shit and how it will undoubtedly lead to me gettign pregnant or i don;t know.. i wanna go, i can;t stand livign with her, i just a moment alone to cry in fucking peace. wihtout beign referred to a phsycologist. i ran away and hid from her in a closet yesterday. i was also told i was ill by her, several times, not mentally ill, but ill in my mind..whoch amounts to the ame thing. yeah, jessica's was fun. i am having a shit day and need a hug.
word of the day, stu-pid <-random typo to lindsey
spekaign of complete physicals..eww..i got in with a doctor who nobody wants to see, so my appointment for the physical, instead of takign a month to get in was two days to get in. . eww...he...prodded my chestal area, shived a plastic retainer thingie up my..area..to inspect me and otherwise cause pain with a swab like device, and then..indignity of indignities, he shoved his old, disgusting, perverted fingers up my ass to '*check my ovaries' *indulge in grotesque old man needs .....i will now go lie down and not think of..probing...aaaahhhhh. right.