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Robert is five and really likes the color red, and his mommy's lipstick is very bright red, and it's shiny. He smears it on the window of her vanity one or two times, and then when he realizes it takes a long time to clean off, stops. But he still wants to see that color, so he starts testing it on his skin, just his hand. He marvels at the way it's so soft and goes on so easily.
He sees ladies wear lipstick all the time, at parties his father makes him attend, on the television and in old movies. Women always look so pretty with it on, all that make-up. So one day he sits in front of the vanity to play like he always does, but for the first time opens the tube and applies the stuff to his lips carefully. He's always been taught to color inside the lines.
When he finishes, he sees himself in the mirror and smiles radiantly. He thinks he looks really pretty.
After that, whenever his parents are out, Robert sneaks into their huge room as usual and sits at his mother's vanity and plays make-up. Sometimes he puts on eyeshadow and blush and the other things his mommy has as best as he can, but his favorite is always the lipstick. Sometimes he puts on pink, and he's even tried black, but he likes red best.
One day he's carefully applying lipstick when he hears his name said sharply behind him, and turns around with wide eyes to look at the person intruding on his happiest times, and then ducks his head in shame when he notices it's his father, and his father has a weird look on his face, and that's when Robert realizes he's doing something wrong.
His daddy walks over to him and takes the handkerchief out of the pocket of his suit and wipes the make-up off his mouth so hard Robert thinks that maybe the man's even trying to hurt him.
The handkerchief is thrown down next to him, and he stands up to run away. His father puts big hands on Robert's small shoulders and shakes him roughly. "I'm not raising you to be this way." He lets go of Robert and the little boy finds himself stumbling into the wall. "God, I'm disappointed." And then his father storms out of the room.
He sees ladies wear lipstick all the time, at parties his father makes him attend, on the television and in old movies. Women always look so pretty with it on, all that make-up. So one day he sits in front of the vanity to play like he always does, but for the first time opens the tube and applies the stuff to his lips carefully. He's always been taught to color inside the lines.
When he finishes, he sees himself in the mirror and smiles radiantly. He thinks he looks really pretty.
After that, whenever his parents are out, Robert sneaks into their huge room as usual and sits at his mother's vanity and plays make-up. Sometimes he puts on eyeshadow and blush and the other things his mommy has as best as he can, but his favorite is always the lipstick. Sometimes he puts on pink, and he's even tried black, but he likes red best.
One day he's carefully applying lipstick when he hears his name said sharply behind him, and turns around with wide eyes to look at the person intruding on his happiest times, and then ducks his head in shame when he notices it's his father, and his father has a weird look on his face, and that's when Robert realizes he's doing something wrong.
His daddy walks over to him and takes the handkerchief out of the pocket of his suit and wipes the make-up off his mouth so hard Robert thinks that maybe the man's even trying to hurt him.
The handkerchief is thrown down next to him, and he stands up to run away. His father puts big hands on Robert's small shoulders and shakes him roughly. "I'm not raising you to be this way." He lets go of Robert and the little boy finds himself stumbling into the wall. "God, I'm disappointed." And then his father storms out of the room.
(Disappointed. So that's what that look was.
The word ends up haunting Robert for years.)
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