Stinky Goop, Part 2
I went to a new dermatologist to get (I hope) some help on my ongoing problem with the Sixth Plague and also the small rash on my face. The dermatologist is an enthusiastic young woman with huge blue eyes and a truncated view of personal space.
She asked what I had done for the boils, and I listed the antibiotics I've taken with no good results. Then I said, "I also bought a tube of coal tar drawing poultice."
Her eyes got even bigger. "Oh! Tar! Don't you love that stuff! Doesn't it work great?!"
I said I didn't know, really.
She said, "Tar's great stuff. Really useful. Neutrogena has a coal tar gel that they sell. Neutrogena T-Gell. T stands for tar. That's why its brown. And a lot of the dandruff medication has tar as an active ingredient. Great stuff. Keep using it, even if it does make you smell like an old man."
Then she said, "For your rash, I'm going to prescribe a sulfur wash. Downside, it smells like sulphur. Good news, it's a wash, so you don't have to walk around with it."
I said, "Sulfur? Like sulfur?"
She said, "Yep. You've got beautiful complexion, but you can use it on your whole face, and it'll get even better. Pale and smooth."
I swear I had this exact same conversation 300 years ago with a guy selling bottled nostrums from the back of a donkey.
She asked what I had done for the boils, and I listed the antibiotics I've taken with no good results. Then I said, "I also bought a tube of coal tar drawing poultice."
Her eyes got even bigger. "Oh! Tar! Don't you love that stuff! Doesn't it work great?!"
I said I didn't know, really.
She said, "Tar's great stuff. Really useful. Neutrogena has a coal tar gel that they sell. Neutrogena T-Gell. T stands for tar. That's why its brown. And a lot of the dandruff medication has tar as an active ingredient. Great stuff. Keep using it, even if it does make you smell like an old man."
Then she said, "For your rash, I'm going to prescribe a sulfur wash. Downside, it smells like sulphur. Good news, it's a wash, so you don't have to walk around with it."
I said, "Sulfur? Like sulfur?"
She said, "Yep. You've got beautiful complexion, but you can use it on your whole face, and it'll get even better. Pale and smooth."
I swear I had this exact same conversation 300 years ago with a guy selling bottled nostrums from the back of a donkey.