Screaming goodbye with a tear and a smile...
Um. This is my last entry. To everyone that I may never hear from or see again, I wish you well. Some stuff has happened and this is on the list of things that I need to change for myself. This isn't healthy. Every night that I read a disturbing entry and cry about it, it becomes more clear to me that this is not healthy. I am reading things that I do not want to hear about. I am being hurt by words on a screen from people that should not hurt me and from people that I cannot stand to think of anymore because I cannot be in their life anymore. I don't want to be upset by things, so I am taking a few chances and doing some outrageous things. I won't be torn apart. I'm going to control myself, for once in my life and do the right thing. I will be the mature one and just be nice when I don't receive an apology for rude remarks and I will walk away when they occur. I want things to be okay like things are turning out for the people that I care about. Katie is happy with Brock, Andy is happy with Lauren, Nicole and Blake are still together, Katie and Andrew are happy together, Tori and Jason are, as well and Brittany and Robert are still going strong. I want to be like them. I want to be happy to wake up in the morning. I want to look forward to something every day. I don't want to die.