Give and take, the emotional rollercoaster . . .
So I just pulled an all nighter with my awesome buddy Laura. We sat around and talked at Denny's till 8:30 this morning. It was great, and Laura is very much someone I wish I could hang out with more. We talked a lot, never really stopping, and by the end of it my throat was getting hoarse and I think her's might have been as well. And she had to go to work at 10!! So I really really super duper appriciate the time she gave me.
On the other hand, I'm still dealing with an incredably emotion set of events that make no sense to me whatsoever, I can't get any answers, and they are tearing the shit out of my heart and mind. So many feelings and emotions are enduced by it and part of me thinks that it might be better to take the Ostrich approach. But whatever, things will be as things will be. I just want to feel a reason worth existing again, and I'm pretty sure that isn't going to be anytime soon.
So I'm going out tonight, to a club, with some people I've never met, to hang out and dance and whatever. This will be more than interesting and I'll keep you posted on how things went either tonight when I get home, or tomorrow when I get back from work.
Unrelated note, I think I might have found Rachel's phone number. If it proves to be the number, I'll feel really dumb. Cause part of me has always wondered what she is up to, and the other part of me has wondered who's fucking number that was. And yes, it took me this long to think that 'hey, they might be linked.' I miss her a great deal and will try to give her a call either today shortly, or tomorrow. For some reason I have to get up the nerve to do it.
Okay, so my escape button just killed like half of what I wrote, and I don't really remember what the fuck I was taling about. So fuck this page, fuck this computer, fuck it I don't fucking care anymore. I pour my heart and soul into fucking everything and get shit on. Fuck this stupid fucking shit. I DON"T FUCKING GET IT! WHY THE FUCK . . nevermind.
On the other hand, I'm still dealing with an incredably emotion set of events that make no sense to me whatsoever, I can't get any answers, and they are tearing the shit out of my heart and mind. So many feelings and emotions are enduced by it and part of me thinks that it might be better to take the Ostrich approach. But whatever, things will be as things will be. I just want to feel a reason worth existing again, and I'm pretty sure that isn't going to be anytime soon.
So I'm going out tonight, to a club, with some people I've never met, to hang out and dance and whatever. This will be more than interesting and I'll keep you posted on how things went either tonight when I get home, or tomorrow when I get back from work.
Unrelated note, I think I might have found Rachel's phone number. If it proves to be the number, I'll feel really dumb. Cause part of me has always wondered what she is up to, and the other part of me has wondered who's fucking number that was. And yes, it took me this long to think that 'hey, they might be linked.' I miss her a great deal and will try to give her a call either today shortly, or tomorrow. For some reason I have to get up the nerve to do it.
Okay, so my escape button just killed like half of what I wrote, and I don't really remember what the fuck I was taling about. So fuck this page, fuck this computer, fuck it I don't fucking care anymore. I pour my heart and soul into fucking everything and get shit on. Fuck this stupid fucking shit. I DON"T FUCKING GET IT! WHY THE FUCK . . nevermind.